Condemnation
by katiepwns
Summary: It's not an easy task for Beckett to raise her teen daughter by herself in NYC. And it gets even more difficult when Castle comes into the picture.
1. Chapter 1

_**AN: This is an idea I've had in my head forever, but I finally decided to write it when I watched Skins and got to Effy. I'm also keeping it rated M for drugs, sex, alcohol because I'm not sure how detailed I'll be getting quite yet.**_

* * *

><p>The day was dragging on and it was ridiculously hard for Kate to stay awake while doing paperwork. All the cups of coffee she drank didn't help at all. She slowly closed her eyes and just as her head was about to loll, a medium sized hand slammed on her desk.<p>

"Don't fall asleep again," Ryan said as he placed another cup of coffee on her desk. "If you want to sleep, ask the Captain if you can go home. We'd rather not hear him yell at you again."

"Sorry," she whispered as she picked up her fresh cup of coffee.

"It's stronger."

"Thanks," she took a long, desperate sip.

"What's going on?" his question had a very serious and caring tone to it.

"Guess," she answered as she took another sip of her coffee before she placed it back on her desk.

"What's she been doing?"

"Last night she didn't come home until 3:30 am and when she did, she gave me a simple hello as if nothing was wrong. It pissed me off so much and I, of course, yelled at her, but she gave me that look."

"Her signature 'whatever' one?"

"Exactly. It's like she's back to being how she was… you know before." She pushed her hair back with her hand and sighed.

"I doubt she went back to her old ways," he attempted to reassure her, even though he had his own doubts.

"I'm trying to think like that, but why else would she come home at 3:30 in the morning?"

"Want to know why?" Montgomery said from behind her.

A few feet behind her Captain was one of her daughter's friends named Hayley. Her hair was a tad messy with blue and red highlights toward the front. She was toying with the zipper on her leather jacket. The way she kept shifting her weight from foot to foot was a sign that she was on edge.

"Hayley?" Kate questioned with her confusion more noticeable.

"Can I talk to you?" Hayley asked, avoiding eye contact in any way possible.

Kate looked between her Captain, Ryan, and Hayley before she answered. "Yeah, follow me."

They both walked into one of the empty rooms. Kate motioned for Hayley to sit down in one of the chairs. She hesitantly sat down across from her and folded her hands on her lap.

"What's up?" she asked, not really wanting to know the answer.

"It's about Rory," Hayley nearly whispered before she started to get fidgety in her seat.

"What about her?"

"You have to promise not to tell her that I told you. Please." Hayley held her stare before she looked back down at her lap.

"I won't."

"On Thursday, while we were getting changed for track, this fell out of her hoodie pocket." Hayley pulled a small plastic bag out of the chest pocket in her jacket. She slowly handed it to Kate.

Kate had to open it to try figure out what it was. When she did, she suddenly became furious.

"That would explain why she was so… hyper when we were outside. And she also went to Central Park with some friends. I didn't want to go, though," Hayley said which took Kate out of her thoughts.

"Wait a minute… she's using again?"

"Yeah, well I think so because she was with Tony last night."

"Tony?"

"Tony Staehler. Some dealer that goes to our high school. He's cute and sweet which makes it hard for people to figure out that he actually sells drugs."

Kate slid her fingers through her hair and closed her eyes. This was not happening again.

"I'm sorry, but I have to go now," Hayley said after a few seconds of silence. "My mom has been really strict lately." She slowly stood up.

"Thank you for coming here and telling me this."

"She's my best friend. I don't want her to start this again. It's not as hard to stay clean as everyone thinks."

"I'm glad you did, Hayley," Kate smiled as she got onto her feet.

She walked her out of the room and watched her leave. When she was in the elevator, she turned toward Ryan and Esposito's desk.

"Find anything you can about a boy named Tony Staehler," she said as she walked over to them, her heels a little louder because she was pissed.

Thirty minutes later, Ryan came back through the elevator with a manilla folder in his hand. He walked over to Kate's desk and sat down on the corner.

"Narcotics have been following Tony for the past month. They actually have pictures from last night. No proof that he was selling, but I thought you might find interest in these," he announced as he handed her the folder.

She hesitantly took it from him and slipped her fingers into the opening. She paused because she didn't really know if she wanted to find out what was in here. But the need to know why her daughter came home so late was stronger. This isn't so bad, she thought to herself when she saw a photograph of Central Park. It was the second one that made her grit her teeth in anger. Her daughter was sitting on a bench with about seven other teenagers surrounding the front and on it. She had something in her hand, which wasn't too visible, and she was blowing smoke out of her mouth.

"No," she whispered as she brought her face closer to the picture. "No. That's not possible. She's been clean for the last few months. I've been getting her drug tested once a week. Is this some kind of joke?" she questioned Ryan who slowly shook his head. "Where did you get these again?"

"Narcotics have been following the boy. They say he's a very well known dealer from Central Park," he calmly answered.

"This kid?" She pointed to the picture. "He doesn't look older than sixteen. Why would she be with him?" she asked herself aloud.

"I'll let you find that one out," Ryan said before going back to his desk.

Once her partner was sitting behind his computer, she picked up her phone to find that she had a message from Castle. She ignored it and dialed her daughter's number instead. It rang three times and then there was complete silence. She wasn't stupid and knew someone was on the other end.

"Rory, I need to talk to you," she said as calmly as she could. Any hint of a serious conversation about to happen would get her avoided at all costs. She even steered clear of calling her daughter by her full name, Mallorie.

"About what?" Rory questioned very faintly.

The sound of a lighter being used traveled through the phone. At this time, Kate turned up the volume and paid very close attention to the background noise. There were sounds of screeching wheels and people. It almost sounded like a party, but she wanted to make sure, so she snapped her fingers to get Ryan's attention. He immediately came over and helped trace the call.

"Elmont. Uh… I think she's on a bus or car or something," he whispered to her.

"Where are you?" Kate asked her question into the phone.

"Around," Rory's answer sounded distant like she was thinking about something else besides the conversation at hand.

"What do you mean around?"

"I have to go," Rory said to her mom. "Yeah, I'll do it," she murmured to someone else before she ended the call.

"Want to go after my daughter with me?" Kate inquired when she stood up.

"Police chase?"

"Something like that." She smirked at him.

"Wait, don't we need a reason?"

"Does potential drug bust and murder count?"

A small smile formed on Ryan's lips. "Sounds good." He turned toward his other partner. "Espo, let's go." He waved for him to come over.

…..

Ryan and Esposito drove one squad car while Kate took the other. She let them lead the way since Ryan was still tracking Rory. They turned their sirens on, so there would be a clearer, quicker path ahead. It took them quite awhile to get to the street that held Rory and she was definitely in a bus. The detectives pushed down on the gas pedals and skidded to a standstill in front of the moving vehicle, which caused it to come to a complete stop.

Kate was the first one out of her car. She made her way over to her partners.

"You guys take the back. It may be prohibited to open the emergency doors without a reason, but she's not afraid to do anything that goes against strict rules," she instructed and watched them run to the back while she walked up to the bus doors.

Her badge made everyone that was sitting close to the door become less annoyed from the disturbance of the ride. She stood in the front of the bus and scanned the seats. Her eyes didn't fall on Rory, so she got confused. But since she wasn't going to give up just yet, she got down on one knee and looked under the seats. She shook her head with a slight smile of achievement when she saw her daughter's worn out, red Converse.

"Take this," Rory whispered to her friend, Jordyn, as she held out a small baggy.

"What? No way. I don't want to go to jail," Jordyn snapped back.

"My mom won't search you. She's after me. I promise you won't go to jail. You can put it in your phone since yours can close. Just please take it."

"Fine." Jordyn snatched the small baggy, pulled out her phone, and closed it on the baggy.

Ten seconds after they did the exchange, Kate was standing on the side of the seat, arms constricted across her chest.

Rory licked her lips and looked around on the floor. "Found it," she said as she picked up her bracelet that she pretended to drop at the last minute.

"Mhm." Kate nodded as she kept her eyes locked on Rory.

"Nice to see you, Ms. Beckett," Jordyn nervously said with her eyes glued to the seat in front of her.

"It's quite rude to stare," Rory said as she looked out the bus window, trying to avoid eye contact with her mom.

"Empty your pockets, Mallorie," Kate demanded a little more hostile than she intended. And since Rory couldn't run from her, she used to her full name to show this was serious.

Rory obeyed and emptied her pockets. All she had in them was money, gum, a Zippo lighter, and her cellphone. She managed to give her mom a deceitful, half smile.

"Jordyn," Kate instructed, shifting her eyes onto Rory's friend.

Jordyn slowly pulled her cellphone out of her pant's pocket, so the baggy wouldn't fall out. She then took her wallet out of the back one. Kate took the wallet and opened it. It only held money, a permit, and cards to various stores in the city. She was just about let them go about with their business until she noticed the glossiness in their eyes.

"Let's go," Kate directed and pointed to the front of the bus.

"We're kind of busy," Rory replied as she put her things back in her pockets.

"Kind of busy my ass. Let's go," Kate said a little more firm this time.

Jordyn quickly got up because she feared the detective next to her. She walked to the front of the bus and turned back to watch her friend.

"Mallorie, let's go," Kate deeply spoke.

"You ruin all my fun," Rory said with a sigh and slid off the seat. She followed her friend out of the bus. They were both met with Detectives Ryan and Esposito. She rolled her eyes at them and crossed her arms. "You've got to be kidding me."

"I'm the one that should be saying that," Kate said as she walked down the steps and into the street. She put her hand on Rory's shoulder and guided her to the car. She opened the back seat and let her get in on her own. "Jordyn, Detectives Ryan and Esposito will drop you off at home. Rory will see you at school on Monday," she said over her shoulder before getting in the driver side.

Rory looked out the back window and smiled at her friend. She pointed to her pants and put up two fingers. To them, this meant tonight, but to Kate, it only confused her, which made her more even aggravated.

"Nice ride," Rory complimented as she tapped the roof of the car. "Can I drive?" She was shot an angry glare from the rearview mirror. "Fine."

They drove back to the precinct in complete silence, which was a shocker to Kate since Rory was one to never be quiet for a long period of time. It also made the car ride feel a lot longer than it should have.

Once Kate parked the car and got out, she noticed Rory holding the flame of her lighter against the back seat. She rolled her eyes, swung the back door open, and snatched it from her.

"How the hell do you keep getting these? I take them all away from you yet you end up with one again."

"I have my sources, Madame," Rory answered with a smirk and slid out of the car. "Am I under arrest or something?" she questioned when she looked up at the 12th precinct.

"No, but guess what you're doing for me today."

"Helping you catch a murderer?" Rory guessed. "No?" She thought some more, but her brain was being too slow at the moment. "How about finally meeting your shadow?"

"Excuse me?"

Rory's eyes widened when she realized that she said that out loud. Her mom didn't know that she found out that Richard Castle was shadowing her for quite some time now. She pursed her lips and stuffed her hands in her hoodie pockets. It was best that she didn't say anything else and just walk into the precinct with her mom right on her heels.

"You still haven't guessed," Kate said when they were in the elevator.

Rory shrugged and watched the floor numbers go by until they were on the right one. When they entered the bullpen, all eyes were on them, or at least that's how she felt. She let her mom take the lead and hid behind her since she was several inches taller.

"Here." Esposito handed Kate an empty cup when she passed him.

"It's not Wednesday," Rory stated when they stopped in front of the girl's bathroom.

"I told you that if I have any doubts, I can make you take one anytime that I choose," Kate replied before she opened the bathroom door.

"I don't have to pee."

"Fine." Kate let the door shut on it's own. "I'll buy you a soda and you can drink it. You're not going home until you fill this." She held up the cup and walked over to the break room.

Rory took this time to take her phone out. She texted her friend Trevor who knew the answer to almost all of her questions. He answered her within seconds after she sent him the text. She smiled at the message before she slid it back into her pocket. When she looked up, her mom was standing in front of her with a questionable look.

"Stupid people make me laugh," Rory said as she took the Mountain Dew from her mom. "I see that you're letting me actually have soda," she stated her observation and quickly opened the can before her mom understood. She was busy taking a really long sip when she noticed the wide, green eyes that were on her.

"Give it back to me," Kate demanded as she held out her hand.

Rory smiled with the can still against her lips. She backed away from her mom and kept going until she took a right turn. The moment she picked up her pace, her mom called out to Ryan to block her. She rolled her eyes and stopped when he was in her path.

"Hand it over," Kate said from behind her.

"A little sugar won't kill me."

"I might if you don't give it to me."

"Fine." Rory turned on her heel in order to face her mom. She smiled before gulping down the rest of the Mountain Dew and handing her the empty can. "You didn't say it had to be full."

Kate advanced on Rory until she was only a few inches from her face. She looked down at her, hoping it would make her uneasy. "I've had enough of your crap today," she said in a furiously deep manner. She thought the height difference would have worked, but instead she got an amused grin. "Just go sit down," she commanded before she did something she would have regretted.

Rory dragged her feet to her mom's desk and sat in her chair. She brought her knees up to her chest and spun the seat around a few times until it was stopped.

"Wrong seat," Kate said and pointed to the one next to her desk.

When Rory was seated where she wanted, she noticed how fidgety she was being. Usually, she would have guessed it was the sugar from the Mountain Dew, but right now she had a feeling it was something else. And the moment she saw her daughter's hands start to shake, she knew.

"What did you take?" she asked as she took a sip of her cold coffee.

"Those meds the Doc gives you and you make me take. Why?"

"Besides those and because you're shaky."

Rory held her hands out in front of her. "Huh. You're right. Must be the sugar you let me have." She smiled before slouching in the seat.

Kate wanted to accuse her daughter of her actions from last night, but she wanted her to confess on her own. Besides, she would have her proof in less than an hour since soda made her daughter pee in ridiculous amounts. Until that time came, she picked up her pen and began where she left off in her paperwork.

Within twenty-fives minutes, she was close to the end of her task until the corner of her eye caught a glimpse of the empty chair by her desk. She whipped her head to the side, making her hair fly off her back and over her shoulder, to find that Rory wasn't there. She scanned the bullpen until her eyes fell on a thin figure in one of the empty rooms.

"What are you doing?" she asked when she walked into the room to notice that Rory was sitting in a chair with her face pushed up against the window.

"Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a bird?" Rory monotonously asked.

"Excuse me?"

"You know… a bird. They are always free to go wherever they want. They can fly and look at everything below. Nobody is stopping them."

Kate squinted her eyes at Rory and spun the chair around, so she was facing her. "Look at me," she said when her stare was averted. "Rory." When her command wasn't met, she put her finger under her daughter's chin and lifted it so she would be looking directly at her. "You're high, aren't you?"

"Tired. I'm always tired lately," Rory replied as she brought her head to the back of the chair. "It sucks."

Kate sighed. "Do you have to pee?"

"I already went when you were doing your paperwork."

Kate ran her hand over the back of her neck to stop herself from strangling the teen in front of her. She exhaled the breath she was holding. "I don't like being lied to."

"I filled the cup." Rory pointed out of the room and at her mom's desk. On the part closest to the chair, she was in a little while ago, sat the cup. She saw her mom's astonished look. "You said I couldn't leave until I filled it. And I kind of want to leave. It's the weekend. Why would I want to be here?" she questioned, leaving out that she didn't want to run into her mom's shadow of a few years; she really, really despised him even though she never really met him.

"Okay. You can go," Kate said when she looked at her daughter who was getting out of the chair. She quickly grabbed her arm. "But if anything comes up, you come back here when I call or text you, got it?"

"Roger that," Rory answered, yanking her arm out of her mom's grasp. She walked out of the room and toward the elevator. Right before she went past the open doors, she raised her hands, middle fingers up. "Fuck da police," she laughed as she stepped into the elevator.

"How do you handle her?" Esposito asked Kate when she walked over to them.

"It's not easy, that's for sure. But I'm going to run this down to Lanie," she held up the cup filled with urine. "I ran out of those over the counter drug tests."

"Have fun." Ryan nodded when she started to walk away.

…..

The instant she walked through the door into the morgue, she was met with the smell of formaldehyde, hitting her nose like lightning. It was a lot stronger than the most times she came in contact with it and it was making her feel a little lightheaded. She walked over to her friend and held up the cup.

"Do you mind?" she asked a little nasally because she wasn't breathing through her nose.

Lanie took the cup and closely observed it. She untwisted the top and brought her nose to it. When she inhaled and noticed the disgusted look she was getting, she smiled.

"Smell it," she said, holding it out.

Kate hesitantly brought her head forward and inhaled the scent. "Smells sweet…"

"Now taste it."

"You're out of your damn mind."

Lanie brought the cup up to her lips and took a sip. If she wasn't mistaken, her friend went a few shades lighter.

"It's apple juice," she explained her actions.

"What? No way," Kate said as she snatched the bottle. She slowly brought it to her mouth and let a little bit of the liquid pass her lips. When the taste registered, she was pissed.

"Looks like you just got played," Lanie said.

"I'm going to kill her."

"As long as she doesn't end up on one of my tables, go ahead because if I was in your position, I would do the same thing."

"This definitely means she's using again."

"Unless she purposely did this to get on your nerves. We all know that she loves to irritate you until you start pulling your hair out."

"Let's call and ask," Kate said as she pulled her phone out of her pocket. She dialed Rory's number, but it went straight to voicemail. This usually wouldn't have bothered her, but with the stunt that was just pulled, it became impossible to not be so mad.

She tightened her grip on her phone until Lanie said something.

"Maybe it died."

"Her phone never dies. She charges it before she leaves the house," she said while her voice started to get quieter toward the end of the sentence.

"What are you thinking?" Lanie asked as she pulled off her gloves to wash her hands.

"Do you… do you think she's acting out because I'm barely ever home lately?" Kate questioned as she stared off in the distance.

"Kate, honey, you've barely been home since you became an officer when she was like one or two. She wasn't acting out then, was she?"

"No. Well, at least I don't think so because her ADHD symptoms didn't start to occur until she was around three or four."

"Which doesn't come from not being around. That's medical."

"Exactly. But this? I feel like she's doing this for attention."

"When's the last time you guys went out, just the two of you?"

"Months ago…"

"You should set something up. Reconnecting with her might be a good idea."

"It's impossible to get time off lately. Bodies have been dropping left and right."

"You don't have to take my suggestion, but I would at least intervene."

"Sounds easier than it really is. Getting her to actually listen to me is way harder than when she was little. At least back then, she would get scared and beg for forgiveness. Now… she just laughs in my face like it's no big deal. Being a cop doesn't threaten her at all."

"Because she knows you won't arrest her. She knows you won't aim your gun at her. She may do stupid things, but she's very smart."

Kate shifted her fingers through her hair and closed her eyes. Everything Lanie just said was 100% true. There was no way she could ever arrest her daughter, even if she murdered someone. And pulling her gun on her? Never going to happen. If anything, she would put her in lockup for a few hours to make her experience real jail with hope it would scare her.

She found a spot on the wall furthest from her and let her mind wander.

…..

_"Mallorie Anne, come on. Mommy's got to go to work," Kate said as she searched her toddler's bedroom for any sign of her hiding spot. "Hmm…" She pursed her lips, trying to think of a small place her daughter would hide._

_She exited the bedroom, and walked into her room. It was hard not to smile when she saw a small lump in the middle of her bed. How her daughter got up there was beyond her, but at least she found her. Being late to work was not an option because her Captain was on her case lately. She slowly climbed on the bed and to the small lump. She tried to pull the blankets off of Rory, but it was noticeable that she was holding it down._

_"I have to go to work," she said, using more strength with the last yank. After revealing her little girl, her heart sunk._

_Rory was curled up in a ball while clutching onto her stuffed panda her grandma gave her before she passed. Her brown waves were clinging onto her face because of the static. The look in her crystal blue eyes was what made Kate's heart ache. It was a mix between sadness, disappointment, and tiredness._

_"No go," the two year old said, muffled because she was clutching the panda close to her face._

_"Aw, baby, Mommy has to go to work. I have to make money, so I can keep buying you new toys." Kate smiled, hoping what she just said would work. The moment she saw her daughter's eyes start to tear up, she knew persuasion would be pointless. "How about we go someplace fun tomorrow, just you and me?"_

_"Today," Rory cried before she rolled on her other side, so her mom wasn't looking at her._

_Kate didn't know if it was Rory's plea or her wanting to have a day alone with her little girl that made her take her phone out of her pocket. She hit the precinct's speed dial. When her training officer, Royce answered, she asked for him to transfer the call to their Captain._

_"You sound upset. Are you okay, Kate?" Royce asked, hovering his finger over the transfer button on the phone._

_"Someone is extremely upset that I'm leaving and I don't blame her. We see each other for maybe two hours a night and then it's bedtime. Do you think Montgomery will be mad if I take the day off?"_

_"Seeing as we're actually helping with a case, I'd say yeah. And since you're the best damn officer here, who should just become a Homicide Detective already, he might be more along the lines of pissed, but I don't know. He's a father, he might understand," Royce sympathetically said, which warmed her heart._

_"Alright. Transfer the call," she replied, rubbing her crying daughter's back to try and soothe her._

_"Montgomery speaking."_

_"I was wondering if it was okay to stay home for the day, Sir," Kate said as she slowly ran her fingers through Rory's soft hair. The new baby shampoo her dad suggested really worked wonders for the tangles she would sometimes encounter while brushing it._

_"I don't know, Beckett. We're in the middle of a case…"_

_"I know, Sir, but I'll make up for it tomorrow."_

_"Are you sick?"_

_"Not exactly."_

_"I need an actual reason for you to miss work."_

_She inhaled and during her exhale she explained. "Rory is extremely sad that I'm going to work today. I was hoping to have one day to spend time with her since I see her for maybe two hours a night. I never thought about how much it affected her until now."_

_"I'll make a deal with you," Montgomery said, making her feel anxious for what he was about to say. "You get Officer Esposito to show up on time tomorrow and I will let you have the rest of the week off."_

_"Sir…"_

_"I have been in your position before. Seeing as you have accumulated a lot of vacation time since you started, I will allow you to stay home during this one case. Besides, there's other officers that I'd like to see shine."_

_"Are you sure? I mean I could be back tomorrow."_

_"Just take the rest of the week off. If Esposito is late tomorrow, I will put you on call."_

_"Oh god. It might be a hard task, but I'll persuade him. He usually listens to me for some odd reason."_

_"Good choice. I'll see you next week, Officer Beckett."_

_"Thank you, Sir. I really appreciate it."_

_"Go be a good mom."_

_She ended the call and set her phone on the bed. She leaned down, so her mouth was by Rory's pierced ear. "Guess who's staying home for the rest of the week," she whispered before planting a gentle kiss on her temple._

_Rory slowly turned to face her mom. When she saw her smile, she knew she was serious and not playing a trick to make her feel better. The last of her tears traveled down her rosy cheeks before they were being wiped by her mom's thumb. Once her nosed was gently kissed, she let out a small giggle._

_"Come on, you," Kate said as she lifted her daughter into her arms. "Let's go to the museum."_

…..

It was practically dinnertime when Kate walked into her apartment. They ended up finishing most of their paperwork an hour ago, but the boys wanted to go out for a drink. Castle was the persuader on that one. He told her one drink wouldn't hurt. Besides, she thought she deserved it after everything that happened earlier with Rory.

She dropped her keys in the bowl on a low shelf that she installed the day after she moved in. She slipped off her heels and set them on the rug against the other wall. The red, worn out Converse caught her eye. Rory was home and it wasn't a surprise that her shoes weren't set neatly. More along the lines of kicked into the wall. This was one of her pet peeves, so she set them side by side before walking over to the fridge for a drink. When she opened the fridge door, she noticed a can of Monster sitting in the far back. She picked it up to find that it was only half full. Oh god. Forgetting about her thirst, she went on a pursuit for her daughter.

The closer she got to her room, the louder the music was. She seriously regretted buying that iPod dock. It never stayed at the level of volume that she preferred. Every so often they would get complaints from their neighbors and it wasn't easy when she made people in the building, she lived in, angry.

She raised her fist and loudly knocked on the door. Right when she was about to turn the door handle, the door was flung open to reveal Rory. Her leather jacket was still on, and she had an outdoorsy smell to her. This meant she got home not long before she did.

"Volume down, Rory," Kate commanded.

"You mean up," Rory replied, closing the door, so there was only a small opening.

Kate knew something was up, so she pushed the door back. Since she was a lot stronger than Rory, it didn't take much strength for her to get it to slam against the wall. Once she could see the full bedroom, she froze. A boy was sitting on the bed.

"What's going on here?" Kate asked with a great deal of anger as she looked between Rory and the boy.

"Trevor, this is my mom. Mom, this is Trevor," Rory said with a smile.

"Hi," Trevor greeted with a sidewards grin. His scraggly, black hair made his green eyes stand out. Kate could see that there was a lot of pain behind them, but the way he held himself illustrated that he had a lot of confidence. "It's nice to finally meet you."

"You too…" Kate replied.

"Blah blah blah," Rory said as she demonstrated her words with her hand. She rolled her eyes, something she learned from her mom when she was younger, and attempted to close the door.

"You know the policy," Kate spoke, keeping her foot between the door, so it wouldn't close.

"I'm unaware of this policy you speak of."

"When there's a boy in your room, the door remains open, got it?"

"Whatever."

"But seeing as you pulled a stunt on me earlier, he has to go. I need to talk to you."

"Ugh," Rory huffed as she looked over at her friend. "I have to kick you out."

Trevor stood up, revealing his extremely tall height. He was at least 6 feet.

"Alright." He gave her a charming smile. "Have a good night," he said to Kate before walking out of the room and to the door.

Rory followed him and opened the apartment door. "I'll call you later or something."

"Cool," Trevor said after he grabbed his skateboard that Kate didn't notice was against the wall.

Rory watched him walk out into the hall before closing it behind him. She turned around to find her mom's eyes on her. "What?"

"Sit," Kate motioned to one of the kitchen chairs in front of her. She kept her hands folded on the table while she sat up straighter.

"I think I'll pass," Rory said with a slight smirk.

"Sit down before I make you sit down," Kate fiercely demanded.

Rory roughly pulled out the chair that was across from her mom. She dropped all her weight in it and slouched with her arms folded across her chest. Serious conversations were not something she liked to encounter.

"You think you're funny, putting apple juice in that cup?"

"You said I had to fill it. I don't recall you saying pee in it."

"Cut the crap, Mallorie. You made it so damn obvious that you used recently."

"That's just what you think." Rory tapped her temple with her middle finger. "Just because you can come to conclusions about murders does not mean you can with me."

"Okay, if you say so. But have you?"

"Have I what?"

Kate pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes. How she managed to not hit her daughter for the past several years was beyond her. She was the only one who knew how to push her buttons. A day didn't go by when there was no anger toward her since the day she began to get out of control.

"I asked you a question," Rory said, folding her hands on the table to act like her mom.

"No, I asked you one first. I want an answer now."

Rory stared at her mom for a moment. A huge wave of confusion came over her after that statement was said.

"What?" She squinted at the table. "No, shut up," she said out of frustration, trying to remember what happened before her mind trailed off in a completely different direction.

"Relax," Kate said more calmly when she saw Rory's frustration starting to come forth. The way Rory bit down on her lip, trying to regain control on her thoughts, reminded her of herself. But when she saw how her she was tapping her fingers on the table and bouncing her leg, she became concerned. "Rory…"

Rory pushed back the chair really hard. If she didn't have a strong grip on the edge of the table, she would have fallen back when it hit the floor. Once she regained her balance, she ran over to the door and fiddled with the handle until it opened, but she wasn't fast enough. Her mom held the door shut from behind her. Rory rested her forehead against it and closed her eyes.

"Running away from your problems won't solve them. And drinking that Monster won't help with your concentration either," Kate murmured into Rory's ear, something she learned when she was a toddler. Speaking into Rory's ear helped make her listen or at least hear better. And since she wasn't getting a reply, she picked up her daughter's Converse and handed them to her. "Let's go get something to eat and after I want you to _pee_ in the cup that I brought home. Okay?"

Rory slowly turned around as her mom backed away to give her more space. She grabbed her shoes and sat on the floor to put them on. When she was tying the second one, her frustration got the best of her.

"Fuck it," she huffed as she dropped the laces and slammed her head against the wall.

"Language, Mallorie!" Kate growled. "And stop over thinking it," she said as she bent down in front of her. She quickly tied the dirty laces and took a mental note to give Rory money for completely new shoes. "How does Remy's sound?" she questioned as she pulled her daughter onto her feet.

"Whatever," Rory mumbled.

...

_"Our bond will break cause you can't relate_

_To anyone, to anything at all._

_You brought your worst and I'm right here._

_Now I've seen it all, and it's never been so clear."_

_A Day to Remember - It's Complicated_

* * *

><p><em><em><strong>AN: <strong>**Thoughts? I'd love to hear them.** **I also made a photoset to go along with this on Tumblr in case you wanted visuals or something. :)**_  
><em>


	2. Chapter 2

After they finished at Remy's, Kate decided to take a well deserved hot bath.

She revoked Rory's phone privileges for a week, which resulted in loud protests. That was something she wasn't good at, grounding. She either forgot the day she grounded Rory, or how long it had been since the grounding.

She set Rory's phone on the sink and the moment she put it down, seven texts were received. She tried with all her might not to be nosey because she hated when her mom and dad were with her. But how could she not see what the texts said? She picked up the iPhone and slid the arrow over to unlock it. Two texts were from the boy she met earlier, Trevor. Three from Hayley. One from a boy she had never heard of and another from "TS."

Who was TS?

Then it hit her. Tony Staehler. He asked if Rory was coming tonight. Actually, all the texts asked if she was coming tonight and if she needed a ride. Looked like she ruined Rory's plans for this Saturday night.

Good, she thought as she started to set the iPhone back on the sink. But another question that was picking at her brain made her study the phone, wondering if there was proof that Rory was using again in the pictures.

No.

She set the phone down. She would find out by searching Rory's room like her mom did with her. Besides, her daughter wasn't stupid enough to save bad pictures on this phone when they could be easily accessed by anyone.

Kate eventually faced the tub to see that the bubbles were only a few inches from the top. She quickly turned the water off and slowly put her foot in. The warmth was relaxing and it made her rush into the water. She just grabbed her book on a stool placed next to her, when knocking came from the bathroom door.

"Can I please have my phone back?" Rory whined from the other side.

"I told you that you're grounded."

"What for?"

"The stunt you pulled earlier today," Kate answered as she flipped open to where her bookmark was.

"But I peed in the cup!"

"And I won't get the results until tomorrow."

"It's the weekend, though."

"Tough."

Kate heard Rory stomp off into her room and slam the door. Loud music started to play within fifteen seconds. She sighed and started to read the chapter she left off at.

She ended up getting lost in the words until she noticed that the bubbles were gone and the water was cold. She grabbed the towel on the stool and got out to dry herself off. Once the towel was wrapped around her and the ends of her hair weren't dripping, she walked into the hall and opened Rory's bedroom door to find that she wasn't anywhere in sight. Great. Now she regretted being in the tub for so long.

It took her forever to find her own phone and when she did, she remembered that she had Rory's. Awesome. Now there wasn't a way to contact her or find out where she was. Just splendid.

She decided to get dressed before going through Rory's phone to find out where she might have gone. It was obviously a party. It had to be because it was the weekend.

She just got through reading the Twitter updates when she realized that she could, probably, find better information on the laptop she bought her last Christmas. Once she hacked the passcode, she opened up Firefox to find that Facebook was still logged into. Score. She went onto her daughter's page to find that she posted a status twenty-three minutes ago saying, "Hanging with the besties tonight at the usual. Who's game?" If she read the number correctly, eighteen other people liked the status and there were twenty-seven comments on it. She immediately clicked the comments and read them. None of them gave her an idea where the party might be located, but she did find out there would be alcohol.

"Ugh." She ran her hand through her damp hair then rested her fist over her mouth, staring at the screen.

Where would a troublemaking teenager go for a party, that would have a lot of people at it, in New York City?

She didn't know because the last time she partied was before she started college. However, she did know someone that was a way bigger partier than her. She dug her phone out of her pajama pants and hit his speed dial.

"Castle."

"Hey," Kate said as she stood up to start pacing Rory's room.

"Dead body?"

"No, I have a serious question for you."

"Uh… okay. Shoot."

"If you were a teen, where would you go to party?"

"Is this a trick question?"

"No." She smiled and rolled her eyes.

"It depends on how big this party would be. If it's with a lot of people, an abandoned warehouse or at someone's house that's located in the outskirts of the city. Why do you ask?"

"My daughter."

"Oh," Castle got more silent. He had never met his partner's daughter. He would never admit it to her, but it bugged him because she met Alexis before. Even though Ryan and Esposito told him that he wouldn't want to meet Rory because she would tear him into pieces, he still wanted to. "Do you have access to her computer?"

"Yes, why?"

"Does she have Twitter?"

"Yeah." Kate nodded, even though he couldn't see her.

"What's her latest update say?"

Kate navigated to Rory's Twitter because she forgot what she read before. She was so happy that the password and username were saved, so she could log in. The last update her daughter had was about being pissed that she didn't have her phone. Useless.

"It doesn't help," she said to Castle.

"Maybe it's best if you wait it out? I know my mother had to when I was younger," his voice trailed off.

…..

_It was late. It was really late, way past his curfew, even though he was eighteen years old._

_Rick didn't want to leave the warehouse that everyone at his high school always partied at on Saturday, but he was dragged out by his best friend, Kyle. And his best friend was helping him walk to his apartment building. All of his weight was on his friend, except the very little he was using to semi-walk. _

_"You're so trashed," Kyle laughed as he guided his friend up the stairs. _

_The doorman squinted his eyes at the two boys until they adjusted to the darkness and he recognized them. _

_"Thank you," Kyle said when the door was held open for them. He dragged his friend into the elevator and made him sit in the corner, so he could press the button. "What will your mom say?"_

_"Oh, nothing." Rick waved his hand at his friend as his head wobbled due to the elevator jerking upwards. "I'm eighteen. It shouldn't bother her too much."_

_"Didn't you tell me that she screamed at you last weekend when you came home like this?"_

_"Did she? Oh, that's lovely," Rick replied as he tried to keep his eyes on his friend._

_"So wasted," Kyle laughed until the elevator doors opened. It took him a few tries to get Rick standing on his own two feet. He made Rick's arm drape over his shoulder as his own arm went around his waist. _

_"Where are we going?" Rick asked as he head stayed toward the ground._

_"To your house."_

_"To see Mickey Mouse?"_

_Kyle busted out laughing and almost dropped Rick. He had to lean against the hallway wall to steady himself. When he was positive that there would be no dropping of his friend, he walked over to the correct apartment. _

_"Key, please."_

_"Pocket," Rick stated and fished around in his back pocket for three minutes until he pulled out a silver key._

_Kyle took it from him and unlocked the apartment door. He opened and pushed it wide open, so they could walk in without bumping into it._

_Kyle just dropped his friend on the couch when he felt eyes on his back. He turned around to see Ms. Rodgers standing with her arms crossed. _

_"I… uh… brought him home," he stuttered._

_"Again, Richard?" Martha yelled, which made Kyle slowly back out of the room. Since he was going to be sleeping here tonight, he decided to go into Rick's bedroom._

_"So soft," Rick announced as he petted the couch._

_"I ground you, you sneak out when I'm gone, I come back to find you missing, and you come home like this," Martha growled. "Do you know how worried I was?" _

_"S-s-sorry," he slurred and tried to sit up, but ended up with half of his body hanging off the couch._

_Martha decided it was pretty useless to yell at her son when he was so unbelievably drunk. She told herself that she would wait until the morning, when he was hungover. That way it would sink in a lot better and she would inflict some pain since she would never lay a hand on him, even though she wanted to. _

_His behavior lately was getting out of control, but she told herself that he was a boy who just wanted to have fun in the city during his last year of high school. And other people told her it was normal for him to be like this at the age of eighteen, but it didn't mean she had to like it._

_She ended up walking into Rick's bedroom to find Kyle laying on her son's bed. He was staring at the ceiling, deep in thought. _

_"Thank you, again," she said to him._

_"He always drinks too much. Someone has to bring him home safe. And since I only drink three beers per party, it's usually me that's the most sober."_

_Martha nodded. "Goodnight, Kyle," she said before walking out of her son's bedroom and to her own. _

_She didn't like the idea of Rick partying, but at least he had a responsible friend that looked after him. She may not be able to stop her son from drinking and doing all the things he did, but at least her mind could be at ease knowing that he wasn't going to end up hurt from being under the influence._

…..

"Castle? Castle!" Kate yelled into her phone for the sixth time.

"Sorry," Castle replied, snapping himself out of his teenage years.

"Where'd you go?"

"No where," he lied.

"Sure… Well, I'm going to let you go and just wait it out like you said. Hopefully she won't be home too late. I'm exhausted."

"If you need anything, don't hesitate to call," Castle reassuringly said.

"I know. Night, Castle."

"Night, Detective."

Kate smiled at how he called her detective. Little things like that helped make him win over her affection. It was his immature antics that get her get easily annoyed.

She set her phone on the couch that she managed to walk to. What was she going to do until Rory came home? Knowing if she were to read a book on the couch that she would fall asleep, she chose to watch the news instead. She eventually ended up in a laying position with a blanket draped over her. Her eyes were ready to close, but she fought against them for as long as she could.

It felt like she just fell asleep when her phone went off. She jumped up and frantically searched the couch to find it. When she did and she saw it was only Castle, she cursed under her breath.

"Yes?" she answered, pushing some of her hair behind her other ear.

"Did I wake you?"

"No, well, sorta? I kind of dozed off on the couch."

"Is she back?"

Kate looked out of the living room and into the kitchen. Her daughter's shoes weren't there, so that meant she hadn't returned while she was asleep for… two hours.

"Jesus," she mumbled.

"What?"

"I fell asleep for almost three hours," she said as she looked at the clock on the wall. It was close to 1:30 am.

"I should have waited until tomorrow."

"Why did you call?"

"I… uh… was worried I guess."

"Thanks." Kate smiled, glad that he couldn't see how she was blushing because he cared about Rory, even though he never met her.

"So no sign of her?"

"Not that-" she stopped herself short when knocking came from the apartment door. She slowly walked over, trying to get rid of her sleepiness at the same time and unlocked the handle. When she pulled it open she was met with Trevor who was holding Rory in his arms. "Castle, I have to let you go." She ended the call and shoved her phone into her pocket. "What the hell happened?" she questioned with enough panic in to make the teen boy get worried.

"I-I don't know," Trevor stammered.

"Fun ride," Rory slurred as she patted his cheek, keeping her head against his chest.

Kate moved out of the way and let Trevor walk into the apartment. She closed the door behind him.

"How much?" she asked as he carried Rory to her bedroom.

"I don't know. I saw her have two cups, but then I couldn't find her," he answered as he gradually laid Rory on her bed. "I found her and two others outside on the ground, bottles of Raspberry Vodka and Rum by them. They were talking about absolute nonsense."

"Whoa," Rory exclaimed when she hit her bed. She stared at the tapestry tacked to her ceiling. "So trippy."

"Just alcohol?" Kate asked as she cupped her daughter's chin to look in her eyes.

"I'm pretty sure because that's all that was allowed at this party, but it's possible people snuck other stuff in."

"You didn't do anything?" Kate inquired as she looked up at him because he basically towered over her.

"I don't drink," he replied, trying to hide the sadness in his answer.

Kate decided not to ask why and focus on her daughter instead. "Rory," she said when she saw her daughter's eyes close. "Rory, hey," she patted her cheek until they opened. "You have to stay awake, okay? I need to make sure you don't have a concussion."

"How you do that?" Rory asked as she squirmed to get her head in more comfortable position.

"Keep your eyes open," Kate commanded before she sat on the bed.

"Do you have a small flashlight?" Trevor asked.

"Under the kitchen sink," she answered and then watched him run out of the room. She turned back to Rory and held up two fingers. "Follow them," she demanded as she slowly moved them side to side. Rory's eyes followed them all the way to the left, but failed to keep her eyes in the same spot when they went to the right.

"Here," Trevor announced, handing her the flashlight.

Kate turned the flashlight on. "Can you hold her head still?" she asked.

"Yeah," he replied as he gently placed his hands on both sides of Rory's head.

When Kate shined the light in Rory's eyes, she moved her head away, but he got it to stay in one spot.

"Anything?"

"They constricted. She's good," he answered with a relieved exhale, taking his hands away and placing them by his sides.

"Thank you," Kate said with a nervous smile. She then noticed that Rory closed her eyes. "Hey, Rory," she said until they opened again.

"I'm going to head out now that I know she's okay," Trevor softly spoke.

"Thank you for bringing her home and helping," Kate said as she watched him observe Rory.

He cared about her, probably more than Rory even knew. It made her feel some sort of relief to know that someone this caring was looking out for her when she couldn't.

"Have a goodnight," he said before he walked out of the room to go home.

"What am I going to do with you?" Kate asked Rory whose eyes were shut again. "It would be a waste of breath to yell at you now because you'd end up forgetting by later today."

Kate ended up sitting in Rory's room, calling her name every so often to make sure she would respond. Reading wasn't going to make her tired when she was worried, so she sat in the computer chair with a book. After about a half hour, she was about to go get something to drink until she heard mumbling.

"What?" she asked when she got closer to the bed.

"Don't feel s'good," Rory slurred as she rubbed her face with the back of her hand.

"Oh boy," Kate replied as she set her book on the bed. "Come on." She slid one arm under Rory's neck and the other under her knees.

Rory was surprisingly light, so it was easy to carry her into the bathroom. Kate bent down, with her knees, in front of the toilet. It took a few attempts, but she got her daughter to sit in front of her.

Rory ended up with her head on the toilet seat because she couldn't keep it up. Kate took this time to grab a cool washcloth, something she remembered her mom doing for her whenever she threw up, and sat back down behind Rory.

Five minutes passed and she thought nothing was going to happen, but she was wrong. The amount of vomit coming out of Rory was astounding. How someone so small could produce that much was beyond her.

She flushed the toilet just as Rory's head fell off the seat. Thank god she had quick reflexes, or Rory's head would have hit the hard floor.

The puking continued on for a couple of hours. Close to the end of the second, Rory leaned back against her mom with all her weight.

Kate gently moved her daughter's hair out of her face and wiped her forehead with the washcloth.

"No more," Rory mumbled.

"This is what you get for drinking so much," Kate replied, flushing the remnants of puke down the toilet. "You're lucky I have the day off tomorrow."

Rory found this funny and started to laugh. She quickly regretted it when her laughter ended up making her throw up some more.

When she was done, she spit into the toilet to try and get the taste out of her mouth. She tried to sit up straight, but ended up falling back into her mom. She was so tired, so she closed her eyes.

"Rory?" Kate questioned when the weight on her became heavier. She figured Rory finally fell asleep and since she threw up so much, she felt it was safe to move her back into her bed.

When she entered the hallway with Rory in her arms, she decided to lay her in her own bed. That way she would be able to keep an eye on her if she started to throw up in her sleep.

She gently laid Rory on her side and propped the body pillow behind her back. She made sure Rory was still breathing a few times before she climbed into the other side of the bed.

Tomorrow she would yell at her. She wouldn't care if she had a hangover and if the yelling made her head hurt. She would not get away with how scared she made her feel tonight. But thank god that her friend, Trevor, had the audacity to bring her home. He seemed like a decent kid, but she still hardly knew him. Maybe if Rory would clean up her act, she would allow him over, so she could.

She ran her hands over her face before she stared at the ceiling.

How could she go to sleep with her mind not wanting to shut up anytime soon? She closed her eyes and visualized the happy places that her therapist, from several years ago, told her to find and they helped her fall asleep.

Her eyes ended up snapping open when she felt the movement to her right. She turned her head toward Rory to find that she was squirming around. Since she was still half asleep, she just watched because she didn't want to move.

Rory positioned herself halfway on her stomach and halfway on her side. She got herself partly under the body pillow. Her right leg was bent and near her chest while the other one stayed quite straight. Her mouth was open and her breathing was steady. She was out.

Kate turned on her side and observed Rory. In the dim lit room, she looked a lot younger than sixteen. It made her want to go back to the days before the back talking, screaming matches, disobedience, and partying came into play. But she couldn't. She had to stay in the present and try to help get things right… again.

The first time, Rory got into alcohol because she was hanging out with kids that were three years older than her. It was easier to get her away from the depressant because Kate only had to subtract the older kids out of the equation. It took months, but it happened with some of her dad's help.

It had been a little over a year since that took place and it looked like Rory was spiraling down faster than ever. She didn't want her to hit rock bottom. Just because their relationship basically went down the drain within the past two years didn't mean she would just sit here and watch her daughter spin out of control. She may not be the best mother in the city, but at least she was trying.

…..

The light shining in the window and directly on the bed made Rory pull the covers over her head. That simple motion brought on the worst headache she had in a very long time. She didn't drink that much… at least she didn't think so. But who knew? Once she was drunk, she would drink anything in a cup like a fish out of water. It was one of her downfalls of partying with alcohol.

She pulled the other, thinner blanket up to her chin. It wasn't until the blanket was by her nose did she realize that it wasn't hers. She opened her eyes, let them adjust to the dimness from being under the comforter, and looked down at the bed. She relaxed when she saw it was her mom's.

The moment she closed her eyes to fall back to sleep, they shot back open. She was in her mom's bed. That meant she came home trashed and was taken care of by her mom. Oh crap on things.

Forgetting about the light, she pulled the blanket off and slid from the bed to the floor. She had to hold onto the side table because she felt lightheaded and her balance was a little off. Once it subsided, she slowly walked out of her mom's room and into the hall. She was met with the smell of Pledge, which made her want to throw up for some odd reason. Maybe it was because her mom always cleaned when she was waiting for her to walk into the living room. The smell ended up making her feel nauseous, but instead of letting her nausea take over, she tiptoed into her room. Why she tiptoed, she didn't know because she hardly made a sound without shoes on. She walked over to her side table and roughly pulled the drawer open, making her school book fall off the edge. The loud thud made her hold her breath, hoping her mom didn't hear.

When Kate heard the noise coming from down the hall, she looked up at the clock on the wall. 1:37 pm. Maybe Rory was awake. Actually, she was hoping she was because she already showered and prepared herself for the lecture, which she had a feeling would turn into a full blown argument.

She walked down the hall and was about to go into her bedroom when she noticed that Rory's door was halfway shut. She slowly pushed it open to find Rory frantically searching around in her side table. Her eyebrow slightly rose as she cleared her throat.

Rory jumped when she heard her mom behind her. She held her eyes tightly shut, cursed under her breath, and turned to face the door. Her mom's arms were folded across her chest. She was staring. No, she was glaring. She wasn't ready for a lecture. She needed aspirin or something, anything to get rid of this headache.

"What are you doing?" Kate asked.

Rory looked down at her hand. She forgot that she picked up the lighter in her drawer. It probably looked bad to her mom. Might have looked like she was about to light up in her room. That idea made her snort because what kind of idiot would light up when their mom was home?

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing," Rory answered and shook her head. She set the lighter back in her drawer and closed it. The noise of the drawer being shut made her wince. The headache needed to go away.

Kate took this time to sit in Rory's computer chair. The nervous look on Rory's face was pleasing to her. It was also something she hadn't seen in awhile, which made it refreshing to know that her daughter feared her a little bit.

"Sit," Kate demanded as she nodded to Rory's bed.

Rory plopped down on her bed and stared at her lap. She ended up toying with her ring, spinning it while she waited for the yelling.

"What the hell, Mallorie?"

Full name, not a good sign. Rory took a quiet inhale and looked up. "Sorry."

"Sorry? That's all you have to say?" Kate questioned, trying not to get too worked up yet. She saw Rory shrug then spin the ring on her finger again, illustrating that she was nervous.

"Yeah," Rory finally replied.

"You came home completely gone, made me and your little friend think that you had a concussion, scared the living hell out of me when you threw up for hours straight, and all you have to say is sorry?"

"What do you want me to say?" Rory snapped back, her headache starting to get the best of her.

"I want you to know what's going on in your head, Mallorie. Why you drank so much last night, why you've been acting out lately. Just tell me why."

"I was at a party. I had a few to drink. So what? You never drank at a party?"

"That is so not the point." Kate shook her head. "And a few?" She forced a laugh. "A few? I opened the door to find you in your friend's arms. You couldn't even walk let alone talk. And you have the nerve to say you had a few?"

"That's all I remember," Rory mumbled with a slight smirk while looking down at her lap.

"What did you say? I can't hear you."

"That's all I remember," Rory said louder, looking directly at her mom.

"You're telling me that you don't remember how much you had to drink? Are you fucking kidding me?" Kate questioned through gritted teeth.

"I remember what I drank just not how much…"

"I can't believe you right now," Kate growled as she ran her hands through her hair. She held it against the back of her neck while she studied Rory. She wasn't nervous anymore. Now she looked amused which made her anger rise some more.

"I can't believe you're yelling at me when I don't remember anything from last night. You honestly think it will have an affect? Really? Hm. That's stupid." Rory smiled before standing up to go get medicine for her headache. She walked by her mom until her arm was grabbed. "Uh, let go."

"I'm not done with you," Kate snarled. "Sit the hell down."

"Fine." Rory listened because the grip her mom just had on her actually hurt. She sat on her bed, indian style, and rubbed her wrist while she waited for the actual yelling to start.

"Why did you leave the house after I grounded you?"

"You pissed me off. I didn't wanna be near you."

Ouch. Kate wanted to sigh, but she couldn't lose the upper hand right. Instead she bit down on her lip, narrowing her eyes.

"So you drank in spite of me? That is one highly asinine reason to do so. You know how I feel about drinking, Mallorie!"

"Shut up!" Rory screamed back as she covered her ears and brought her head toward her lap.

Kate moved so quickly that Rory didn't have the chance to prepare for what was going to happen. Her hands were pulled away from her ears and down to her sides. They were being held to the bed as she lifted her head and looked straight into her mom's green eyes that were a few inches from her.

"Just because you have a hangover doesn't mean you can cover your ears and think I'll stop," Kate said, holding Rory's stare. "Drinking won't solve your problems and neither will smoking. I thought we went over this, but I guess it didn't stick. And if you think I'm just going to let you walk around here doing whatever you please, you're out of your damned mind," she growled as Rory glanced to the side for a few seconds before she looked back at her. "You're doing all of this on your own. Nobody is telling you to drink, are they?" she asked, but didn't get an answer. "You probably don't even consider how your actions affect people that love you. It's a very selfish thing and I want you to stop and tell me why you're doing this," she said, but didn't get a reply instead just a blank stare. "What's making you drink and do drugs again, Mallorie? Tell me."

Rory closed her eyes, debating whether or not to actually say her answer. The truth hurt, right? She slowly opened her crystal blue eyes and looked directly into her mom's furious green ones.

"You," she whispered with intense hostility.

…..

_"Hold on slow down again from the top now and tell me everything_

_I know I've been gone for what seems like forever_

_But I'm here now waiting_

_To convince you that I'm not a ghost or a stranger_

_But closer than you think_

_She said, 'just go on to what you_

_Pretend is your life but_

_Please don't die on me'"  
><em>

_Rise Against - Ready to Fall_

* * *

><p><em><strong><em><strong>AN: WAHPUSHH, yes that's a whip noise, slap in the face. Thoughts? :D<strong>_**  
><em>


	3. Chapter 3

Firm knocks came from the apartment door. Kate didn't hear them, even though she was in the kitchen right by the entrance. She was too busy thinking about what her daughter said, which wasn't much, but the hatred she saw in those crystal blue eyes when they were looking directly into her own was serious. Seeing that hatred made her want to curl up in bed and stay there forever.

When she was younger she despised her mom's rules, but she never hated her. What did she do differently with Rory? Was it because she was hardly ever home? That couldn't be the only reason her daughter was partying like this again. She can't be the reason. But what if she really was? What if she did something that caused this?

It wasn't until around the fifteenth knock did Kate realize where the distant sound was coming from. She slowly got out of the kitchen chair and looked through the peephole to see who was here.

Castle.

No. He can't be here right now. If Rory found out she would come out here and cause so much damage between their relationship. This was one reason she chose not to introduce him to her daughter. That and because she wasn't sure what her and Castle were. Friends? Well, yeah, but sometimes it felt like more…

She shook her head and opened the door. "Castle, now is not the time."

"You weren't answering your phone and I was in this part of Manhattan anyway," he replied and held up two tickets. "Want to go see my mom's play with me? She'd like you to come."

"I don't know. I'm dealing with a lot right now."

It was then that Castle noticed the puffy, red eyes on his partner. Her hair was up in a messy bun and it didn't look like she had gotten dressed yet. Something bad must have went down this morning with her daughter.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked, half wanting to help and half wanting to know more about her daughter.

Kate did a quick debate in her head before she opened the door, so he could walk in. She motioned to the kitchen table and sat down when he did.

"Just keep your voice down," she said. "Okay?"

"Okay."

…..

Rory was sitting against the bathroom sink when she heard two voices in the living room or kitchen; she couldn't quite tell. Must be her grandpa. He was the one her mom always called to take her for the day, so her mom could recollect her thoughts. It was more like a ritual now. Grandpa coming to rescue the almighty detective from her horrible daughter for a few hours.

She glared at the piece of toilet paper she was holding and lit the bottom with her lighter. She watched the flame travel up to her fingers. Just when the flames began to lick her fingertips, she dropped it in the toilet. The whistle sound it made going into the water was amusing.

This continued on for another ten minutes before she decided to try lighting something else on fire, but what? She was looking through the drawer next to her when the voices in the living room got a little louder.

It wasn't her Grandpa.

She moved across the floor to press her ear against the door, so she could hear better. It was obviously her mom talking and who else? A man? Yeah, it was a man, alright. His voice was way deeper than Lanie's. She got herself on her feet and cracked open the bathroom door. Who was this man?

Then it hit her. It was probably her mom's shadow. The so-called caring one that she remembered Lanie describing to her mom.

Rory flicked her lighter so the flame would come up and stared at it for a few seconds. Eventually, an immoral smile crept across her face and she walked into her room and got on her laptop. Trevor was on Facebook, so she messaged him saying to meet her outside. She had to mention that she might not get out, but if she did that he should be ready. He only lived a few blocks away, so he wouldn't take too long.

She exited her bedroom and headed toward the kitchen. She walked over to the fridge, completely ignoring her mom and the man seated at the table. Once she was done pouring herself a drink, she leaned against the counter, cup in one hand and looked at her mom.

"Who's he?" she nodded her head toward the man.

The moment Castle saw Rory, he had to stop his mouth from dropping open. Her hair was wavy just like Kate's. She was pretty short and naturally thin. The way she dressed made him glad that Alexis didn't dress that way. Not saying it was horrid, but it was the bad girl vibe that he didn't like. When he looked directly in Rory's eyes he found that they were this shade of blue that he had never seen on a person and they were piercing right through him.

Instantly after looking in them, he felt really uneasy.

He opened his mouth to introduce himself, but his shin was kicked. He looked over at Kate who was shaking her head, warning him not to say anything, so he didn't.

"This is Castle," Kate said while looking into her cup of coffee then over at Rory.

"He's mute?" Rory asked, taking a sip of her orange juice and placing it on the counter. When nobody said anything, she walked over to Castle and sat on the corner of the table closest to him. "You're her shadow, aren't you? That guy who has been writing these retarded books based on my mom?" She looked up at the ceiling with a smile then back at him.

"Mallorie…" Kate warned.

Rory looked between her mom and Castle until she drew herself a conclusion. "Are you two fucking?" she asked, waving her finger at them both.

Castle couldn't stop his mouth from going agape this time. He looked over at Kate who seemed to be fusing with anger, but she was staying in control because he was here. And he was warned to stay quiet, so he did.

"Mallorie, I swear to god," Kate said through gritted teeth.

"Why else would you let him follow you around and allow him into Grandma's case? Look at him!" Rory pointed at Castle's jacket. "He's a pretty boy and the papers call him a playboy, right? You're not letting him shadow you on cases because you want him to write a good book. Nobody could help him with that." She leaned in closer to Castle. "Because your books are pure shit. So the only conclusion is that you two are fucking. Ohhh." She looked over at her mom. "That explains why you're in such a good mood lately!"

"That's it," Kate said as she got out of her chair. She rounded the table and grabbed her daughter by her upper arm. She dragged Rory into her bedroom and onto her bed. "I'll be back to talk to you."

"Ay ay, Captain," Rory saluted, getting a furious glare in return.

She watched her mom walk out of her room. She took this time to grab her Vans from under the bed and slip them on. Since her mom and Castle were talking, her mom apologizing for what was said, she tiptoed into the master bedroom. When she reached the window that led to the fire escape, she opened it and climbed out. She looked over the edge of the rail to see Trevor and Tony.

"Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your long hair," Trevor said as he extended him arms out to her.

"Juliet. Juliet. Where art thou Juliet?" Tony joined in with a laugh.

She flipped both of them off and continued to climb down the fire escape. When she got to the bottom, there was a big drop. Both Tony and Trevor helped her down.

"I have a feeling your mom is going to end up hating me," Trevor said when she was on the ground.

"You're the innocent looking one." Tony nudged Trevor's arm. "Since her mom's a cop, I bet she already looked me up on those fancy computers."

"Wouldn't doubt it," Rory said as she looked up at Trevor. She raised her eyebrow at him and got a confused look in return. His hair was neater today, so she went on her tiptoes and ruffled it. "Better," she said and got his sidewards grin in return. "You put your lip ring back in," she stated her observation.

"I had it in the other night, but someone was too drunk to remember."

"I was that bad, huh?"

"I was drunk as hell yet I can still remember how bad you were. We ended up outside because you wanted to chase the fireflies, but we got maybe ten yards until you collapsed. So we just watched the stars instead," Tony answered as he put his hand in his pocket. "Trev told me how bad your mom yelled at you. Thought this might take the edge off." He handed her a tiny plastic baggy.

"Shit," Trevor whispered, taking it out of his friend's hand and examining the powder. "Is this what I think it is?"

"Even better," Tony answered and watched Rory snatch it from Trevor's hand. He watched her open it and take some out. "Whoa whoa." He took the baggy from her. "Let's wait until we get to my place. Mom won't be back 'til way late, so we have a lot of time."

…..

Kate just finished up apologizing and trying to make Castle's normal shade return to his face when more knocking came from the apartment door. She patted Castle's arm when she passed his chair before opening the door.

"Dad." She forced a smile and let him inside.

"Let's talk some sense into this little troublemaker," Jim said as he walked inside. "Castle." He nodded his head toward the table. "Nice to see you again."

"Rory kind of said some things," Kate whispered, so only her dad could hear.

"Ah. Well, then. Where is she?" Jim asked.

"I'll go get her," Kate announced as she walked toward the hall. She opened Rory's bedroom door to find that she was nowhere in sight.

Okay, that was odd. She decided to look in the bathroom and found nothing.

"Can't find her?" Jim questioned from the entrance of the hall.

Kate glanced at her dad before she went into her own bedroom. Empty. She was about to walk back into the hall until she noticed that her window was slightly open.

"She snuck out," Kate said through gritted teeth. "And I still have her phone."

"Who do you think she went with?" Jim asked, looking behind him to see Castle making his way over.

"Maybe that kid that brought her home… Trevor," Kate answered. She grabbed Rory's phone off her dresser and unlocked it. She navigated to her daughter's contacts until she got to Trevor's name.

"Don't call it," Castle said, which made both sets of eyes go on him. "I mean, uh, if she's with him, he will tell her that her phone just called. Can you trace it instead?"

A small smile curved Kate's lips. "Good idea, Castle."

Less than twenty minutes later, they had a trace. They probably wouldn't have gotten one if Ryan wasn't working today. He ended up taking the number, putting it in the tracking system on the computer, and repeating the address on the screen.

Kate quickly got dressed in her room while her dad made himself comfortable in the living room with Rick. She made sure she had her gun and a small amount of makeup on before walking into the hall.

It probably took her about twenty minutes to get ready. And when she walked into the hall, she stopped in her tracks.

Rick was busy looking at all the pictures along the hall walls to notice that his partner was curiously staring at him. He was in awe from one photo the most. It had Kate, Rory, and Johanna in it.

The three of them were outdoors and sitting on a blanket. There were baby toys scattered on it and Kate was holding Rory up, so she was standing. They were both looking at Rory who was smiling up at the camera.

"What're you looking at?" Kate questioned, causing him to jump back. She rolled her eyes and stood next to him.

"You're daughter was one of the cutest babies in this city," Rick complimented in awe.

"Yeah… That was a fun day," Kate said.

…..

_"Kate, watch her," Johanna said as she took the sandwiches out of the picnic basket._

_Kate popped one more grape into her mouth before turning to her right. She smiled before reaching out to grab her daughter from crawling off the blanket. She had to pull her over by her waist until she could slide her hands under her armpits._

_"Where do you think you're going?" Kate asked before kissing her Rory's face. _

_Johanna set two plates on the blanket. She took Rory from her daughter and sat her in her lap. "How about we let you taste a strawberry?"_

_"Isn't she too little?" Kate asked while picking up her plate._

_"If we mash it up a bit, I don't see how it would hurt her. Besides, she's seven months and she has one tooth."_

_"What if I said I ate all the strawberries?"_

_Johanna gently pushed Kate's shoulder, making her fall back a little. "You're mommy is a piggy," she said to Rory who was busy trying to pull her sock off._

_Kate took a strawberry out of the plastic bag that was next to her. Luckily for her mom, there were two left. It wasn't her fault that she really liked fruit. It was basically all she ate besides meals._

_She set the strawberry on the empty part of her plate and used her fork to mash it down. Her mom ended up taking the plate from her and doing it herself._

_"You need to use more force," Johanna said while she pressed the fork down on the strawberry a lot harder than her daughter was. When she was pleased with how soft it was, she set the plate in front of her. "Where's her spoon?"_

_Kate tugged Rory's diaper bag over to her. She pulled a pink spoon out of the front pocket and held it out to her mom._

_"You do it," Johanna said with a smile. "Let her believe that this was your idea."_

_"Okay." Kate smiled back and scooped some of the strawberry onto the small spoon. She watched her mom put Rory in the middle of them. When she brought the spoon to Rory's mouth, she had to yank it back. "I have to do it, silly."_

_Rory continued to reach for the spoon until she eventually gave up. She put her fingers in her mouth and looked up at her mom._

_Kate gently pulled her daughter's hand away and brought the spoon to her lips. "Beep, beep."_

_"She's being stubborn, something you're very good at," Johanna said with a small laugh._

_"Funny." Kate rolled her eyes and brought the spoon up, so Rory had to tilt her head back to see. "Here comes the plane. Zoom." She quickly put it into her daughter's mouth that was open and gently scraped the strawberry on the roof of her mouth._

_Rory put her fingers back in her mouth before she swallowed the strawberry. She looked over up at her grandma and let her fingers fall out of her mouth. _

_"She likes it," Johanna said. "Give her more."_

_Rory started blowing raspberries, making spit and some strawberry fly out of her mouth when her mom brought the spoon by her lips. She patted her hands on her feet until she grabbed onto one._

_"I don't think she wants more," Kate laughed before grabbing a non-scented wipe out of the diaper bag. She wiped her daughter's face, getting whines in return. "That wasn't so bad was it?"_

_"Did you bring your camera?" Johanna asked while she let Rory get on her hands and knees._

_"I did," Kate answered as she retrieved it from her purse._

_"Let's find someone that will take a picture for us."_

_"Mom, wait," Kate called out, but it was too late. Her mom was already stalking off to find someone kind enough to snap a quick photo. "Grandma is crazy," she said to Rory who was crawling away on the grass. "Hey." She got herself on her feet and walked over to Rory. "You're not supposed to escape."_

_Rory was screeching with joy the more she crawled in the grass. She liked feeling the blades on her hands made, but her eyes were on a buzzing bug._

_Kate let her crawl in the grass until she saw where she was heading. She quickly scooped Rory into her arms and carried her back to the blanket. When she sat down, she saw her mom talking to a lady that had a toddler holding her hand. Within a few moments, they were walking over to the picnic blanket._

_"I found someone," Johanna announced before sitting next to her daughter. "Do you realize she has your finger in her mouth?"_

_Kate looked down at her lap. It wasn't until then did she feel the warm slobber on her finger. She gently pulled it out of Rory's mouth, trying not to let her nails scratch her like they did before._

_"You have a beautiful daughter," the lady complimented with a huge smile toward Rory. "Where's your camera?"_

_Johanna picked up the camera and handed it the lady. She scooted closer to Kate and Rory. _

_Kate held Rory up by her waist, so she was standing on her feet. It created lots of squealing and big smiles. Both Johanna and Kate leaned forward to see Rory's smile. When they heard the camera click, they looked up with happy smiles._

_"I took a couple just in case one comes out too blurry," the lady said before handing the camera back. "Have a good day." She smiled before walked away with her son._

_"Can we eat now?" Kate asked when the lady was a good distance away._

_"Do you ever stop eating?" Johanna questioned with a laugh._

…..

"Sounds like you girls had a good time," Castle said with a smile.

"I sometimes wish I could go back to those days. The ones before Rory spun out of control," Kate replied, still looking at the photo.

"I don't think she's out of control," Castle lied.

"Nice try." She patted his shoulder before walking over to her dad. "I'm going to go get her and bring her back here. If you want you can come."

"Only if I get company in the car." Jim nodded toward Castle with a playful grin.

Castle's face got a little hot because Kate's father made him nervous. It wasn't like he was a teen boy trying to ask her out, but still.

"She might not like him being in the car, Dad."

"That's too bad, isn't it?" Jim questioned, rocking on his feet.

"Fine. If she gives me an attitude or starts something, you're to blame." Kate narrowed her eyes at her dad.

"Understood," Jim replied and watched to see what Castle thought.

"You can come if you want," Kate invited before biting down on her lip and walking to the apartment door.

"I think I actually might stay in the car for this one," Castle said when all three of them were in front of the door, putting their shoes on.

"You always say that, but does it happen? No," Kate laughed as she opened the door.

"One of us might wanna go with her," Jim spoke in a loud whisper. "She might murder my granddaughter."

"I doubt that," Rick replied with a shrug. "But then again, when Kate's mad-" he was cut short because Kate spun on her heel and narrowed her eyes at him, glaring with great intensity. "Nothing," he murmured with a smug grin.

"Don't let her intimidate you," Jim said before patting Castle's shoulder.

Kate rolled her eyes before walking out of the door and down the hall. When they reached the elevator, she pressed the button and patiently waited.

"When she does get mad, just ignore her," Jim was saying to Castle before Kate looked in their direction as she got on the elevator.

Having the two most important men in her life, in the same elevator was not a good idea. She felt like they were ganging up on her and that feeling made her mad. She didn't like when small things like that bothered her. It wasn't like they were being completely serious because they were smiling and laughing. Just the fact that they were talking about her was what got her annoyed.

"Will you two just stop?" she questioned, shooting both of them a look. "You're giving me a headache," she growled, pressing the first floor button.

"We're not even loud," Castle defended himself like he just got in a lot of trouble.

"Let's not give her a headache now." Jim smiled at Castle before looking over at his daughter. "She will soon have one from Ms. Rory."

"That's not even funny," Kate said through a clenched jaw.

"I wasn't trying to be," Jim replied, placing his hand on his daughter's arm. "But I told you I would take her for the day and I'm keeping my promise."

"Is she really that bad?" Castle didn't realize he actually asked his question out loud. He thought he was thinking, not speaking.

Kate slowly turned toward her partner. The look on his face made her want to laugh, but she had to torture him a bit, right? She placed her hands on her hips and glared at him.

"I mean, uh, she can't be too, um, bad…" Castle stammered.

"You have no idea," Jim replied before Kate even had the chance to open her mouth. "Rory reminds me a lot of how Katie used to be before she went to college. The whole stay out all night with friends, sneak boys in, party on the weekends, and so on."

Castle stood up straighter with a sidewards smile. "Do tell more."

"Dad." Kate put her hand up to silence him. "Don't feed food to the animals."

"Another time," Jim responded, giving Castle a quick wink.

…..

The three of them pulled up next to the McKibbin Lofts in Brooklyn. They all looked out the window at the run-down building with many square windows. The walls closest to the ground were filled with graffiti and the painted bricks were peeling.

Castle looked at his partner through the rearview mirror and she was just as stunned as he was. He could never see his own daughter at a place like this. But this wasn't his daughter they were after. Hopefully the inside wasn't as bad as the outside.

Kate finally stopped looking at the building and got out of the car. She leaned down, so she could see both her dad and Castle. "I'll be right back."

"Can I come?" Castle questioned, making both sets of eyes go on him. He felt really small in the backseat when everyone was looking at him. "Uh… if you don't mind."

"Come on." Kate waved for him to get out of the car. "We'll be back."

"Leave the keys," Jim said, catching the set of keys that were just tossed at him. He placed them in the ignition, so the radio would turn on and watched his daughter and Castle walk into the building.

"How do you know where to look?" Castle inquired as he looked around. "She could be in anyone of these."

"Way ahead of you, Castle." Kate smiled before taking the lead up the stairs. She stopped at the second floor and had to fight back her laughter when she heard Castle's pants. "It was only two floors."

"I think I need to start going to the gym more."

"Or maybe you should stop eating all the junk food at the precinct."

"Touché."

They both walked down the hallway and toward rooms 206-213. Castle was intrigued by the way his partner was checking out each door. It was like she had the ability to see through walls because they stopped in front of room 211 and she looked at him.

"This one." She nodded toward the door before pulling her gun out.

"A gun on teenagers?"

"It will prevent my daughter from running."

"How do you know they are in here? What if you bust down the wrong door and cause a great deal of trauma in an innocent person?"

Kate turned toward Castle with her eyebrows furrowed. He never really cared much about bystanders in a murder case. Why would he care if she busted down the wrong door?

"I'll tell you how I know this is the right one." She grinned, bringing her hand that was holding the gun to her side. "You hear the music?"

Castle had to listen very closely. He practically brought his ear up to the door and when he did, he heard rock music.

"And do you smell that?"

"Smell what?"

"You will soon find out," Kate said as she brought her gun back up.

Once she was set, she lifted her leg up and kicked the door open. The door handle didn't break as easy as other doors she broke into, but she managed to open it and get inside.

Castle followed her into the loft. The moment he was hit with the smell of marijuana, he placed his hand over his nose. He didn't want to get a contact high.

Kate paused when she saw Rory sitting on the couch with several other kids, laughing. The room was smoky as hell and reeked of something she couldn't quite put her finger on. It wasn't marijuana… or was it? She was too busy debating what the source of the smell was that she didn't notice mostly everyone was looking at her.

Rory had her head on the back of the couch. She was watching her friend, Jay, take a hit off the bong. When he was done, he handed it to her. Just as she got her mouth to the opening and was about to light up, it was taken from her.

"Not cool," she said, looking up to see who took the bong. Her eyes fell on her mom. Shit.

Kate placed her gun in the back of her pants. She got a good hold of Rory's shirt with one hand and purposely dropped the bong on the floor, letting it shatter everywhere.

Dragging Rory out of the loft was quite an easy task, but she purposely used a lot of counter force because she was pissed. She basically threw her into the hall, which made her collide with the wall on the other side.

"God," Rory spoke while she regained her balance.

Castle led the way to the staircase and held the door open. When Kate passed him, he got a little frightened. He had never seen such fury behind those green eyes before. He hoped that he would never be the reason to get them like that again. And the way she was yanking Rory down the stairs made him wonder what it was like to have a troubled daughter.

"Not so rough. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph," Rory said, laughing at her lasts words before being dragged outside. "Fuck," she swore while she tried to cover her eyes from the brightness.

Kate didn't say a word since she got Rory out of that loft. She didn't even care enough to call the cops on Tony. All that mattered was getting Rory into the car, which was proving to be difficult since that they were outside.

"Do you hear that?" Rory silently questioned with her hand over her eyes as a visor. She started to trail off toward the loud sound of music, but was yanked back by her arm.

"Car. Now," Kate managed to say through the rage swirling around in her head while pointing to the parked car.

Jim got out of the passenger's side and walked around the car. He opened the back door and waited while Kate struggled to pull Rory to it.

"I don't wanna," Rory whined when she was by the back seat.

"Too bad," Jim said, causing him to get a weird stare from his granddaughter.

Kate finally got Rory in the back seat, but she was scooting to the other door.

Jim climbed in the back because he didn't want Castle to have to feel uncomfortable. He placed his hand on his granddaughter's shoulder and gently pulled her back, so she was sitting.

"Damn," Rory mumbled, feeling defeated.

Castle got into the passenger seat at the same time Kate got behind the wheel. He glanced over at her and then in the rearview mirror to see Rory looking out the window.

"I'm going to bring you home now, okay?" Kate said to Castle as she started the ignition.

Rory sat up and leaned forward, so her head was between the two front seats. "Where we going?"

Kate ignored her and pulled out from the curb. She kept her eyes on the road and her hands tightly wrapped around the steering wheel.

Since the music wasn't loud enough for Rory's liking, she practically climbed over the center console compartment to reach the radio. She ended up turning the music up so loud that the windows rattled, which caused her mom to slam on the breaks. If she didn't have one of her hands on the driver's seat, she would have flung right into the dashboard.

Kate quickly turned the radio down and turned to look at Rory. "Sit the hell down."

"Okay." Rory smiled before climbing back to her seat.

Castle looked over at Kate, the sound of his heart beat in his ears. Being suddenly jerked forward in a car like that was nerve wracking.

"Warn me next time," he quietly said and got a sly smirk in return.

"Let's drop you off at home, Castle," Kate said, glancing over at him with a slight smile.

…..

After returning to the apartment, Kate had to guide Rory to the elevator. Her dad was following her the entire way, not saying a word. He told her that he would take Rory for the day, but since she was obviously stoned out of her mind, she told him to just stay at her place for awhile.

Upon walking through the apartment door, Rory went directly to the fridge. She opened it and pulled out one of her Arizona Iced Tea cans. She held the can in her hand for a short time because the coldness felt amazing.

"What do we do now?" Jim asked, placing his jacket on the coat rack.

"Let it ride out. She will eventually come down," Kate replied, keeping her eyes locked on her daughter. "Rory, what are you doing?"

"It feels… cold."

"It should. It's been in the fridge for a couple of days." Kate rolled her eyes and walked over to the couch.

Rory ended up putting the tea back and walking into the living room. She planted herself on the couch and grabbed the remote. When she turned the T.V. on, her mouth dropped at the colorful cartoons.

"Is she okay?" Kate asked when her dad sat next to her.

"Do you know what she had?"

"Pot laced with something… Well, I think it was pot."

"I'll ask," Jim replied before clearing his throat. "Rory, what did you do?"

Rory turned her head toward her grandpa. "Forgot." She shrugged and brought her attention back to the cartoon

"Definitely laced," Kate said as she watched her daughter get up and walk down the hall. "Rory." She quickly got up and headed after her.

Rory was already in her room and on the floor. She was pulling everything out of her pockets and throwing it in front of her. When she saw the plastic baggy, she smiled.

Kate placed her foot over what her daughter was reaching for. She bent down to pick it up. "What the hell is this?" she questioned, holding the baggy with yellow-white powder in front of Rory's nose.

"Try some." Rory slowly nodded.

"Is this cocaine?"

The smile that Kate was receiving meant that her guess wasn't correct. If not cocaine then what? Oh god. That meant it was either heroin, morphine, or meth. She had to bite down on her bottom lip to prevent from doing anything stupid like smack that smile off Rory's face.

"Cops shouldn't do drugs." Rory shook her finger at her mom. "I'm telling."

Kate couldn't control it anymore. She grabbed her Rory's finger with an incredibly tight grasp. If she really wanted to, she could break the finger in her hand.

"Mom, stop!"

When Kate released her grip, her ears were met with uncontrollable laughter. She looked at Rory who was covering her face while laughing. Kate glared at her before storming out of the bedroom.

"I'm going for a walk," she said to her dad, who nodded because he understood.

Close to two hours later, Kate walked back through the apartment door, took her shoes off, and headed into the living room to find Rory sitting on the floor with a castle built entirely out of Legos.

"What's going on?" she asked her dad who was coming from the hall.

"Maybe twenty minutes after you left, she came out here and would not stop talking. Pure nonsense. But once she did, she brought her school stuff to the coffee table and probably finished her math homework in record time. Then she built that," Jim answered while motioning toward the lego castle.

Kate squatted down next to Rory who was frantically searching for a lego. She studied her daughter's movements to find that she was actually bouncing in her spot.

"Hey," Kate said, trying to get her attention.

"Almost done. Almost done," Rory spoke as she put a green lego on the top of the castle.

"Did you eat dinner?"

"Not hungry." Rory shook her head incredibly fast before scooting back to check out her masterpiece.

"She's over-stimulated," Kate stated.

"She usually is over-stimulated," Jim replied, sitting on the couch.

"Take her usual and times it by a thousand."

"I'm going to go watch a movie." Rory softly announced, getting onto her feet and walking toward her bedroom. She grabbed her laptop off the desk and sat on her bed with it on her legs.

Kate leaned against the doorframe with her arms crossed. She walked over to the bed and sat on the edge. Rory eyed her a few times, but she was too entranced in her movie to care.

"This ends tomorrow," Kate sternly spoke.

"Off with their head!" Rory yelled at the movie.

Kate closed the laptop and pulled it away from her daughter. That definitely got her full attention.

"No more lies. No more sneaking out. No more drinking. No more drugs. That all starts tomorrow. Got it?"

"You got it, dude." Rory stuck up her thumb.

"I'm not kidding, Mallorie."

"Fine." Rory grabbed her laptop and set it back on her legs.

Kate leaned in closer and used a harsher tone. "You think my rules are bad now, wait until you hear the new ones in the morning."

…..

_"Cause I will bring you down,_

_I don't wanna miss,_

_I don't think you can handle this._

_You've lost what you can't find,_

_Never what you had in mind."_

_Sum 41 - Handle This_

* * *

><p><strong><em><em>AN: W<em>ould love to hear what you guys think. I love writing a troublemaker._**


	4. Chapter 4

The loud noise of cupboards slamming shut woke Kate up with a jolt. She blindly reached for her phone under the other pillow. When she saw that it was 4 am, she decided to go investigate what caused her sleep to be disturbed. It better be something minor because she had about three more hours to sleep and she needed them.

As she walked through the living room to get to the kitchen, she saw Rory sitting on the counter with her legs crossed. The scissors in her left hand were working feverishly with the magazine in her other hand.

"What the hell are you doing up?" Kate asked as she stood by the table.

Rory dropped the scissors when she heard her mom's voice. She looked down at the ground at the sound they created.

"Hello? Are you going to answer my question?" Kate questioned with a glare. "Wait… did you even go to sleep yet?"

Rory raised her head very slowly to look at her mom. A confused expression made its way across her face. "When did you get there?"

Kate ran one of her hands over her face. "Rory, go to bed."

"I can't."

"Why?"

"Dunno."

Kate held Rory's stare until she looked back down at the scissors. Why would Rory still be up this late on a school night?

She tried to think of drugs that would make someone stay awake, but none came to mind. She was about to just dismiss this and let Rory suffer in school tired until she remembered a case from a few months ago. A twenty year old girl took a hard drug - she couldn't remember the exact one - before she was killed by her ex-boyfriend. All of the suspects she questioned said the girl hardly ever slept or ate, but now that she kept thinking about it, a few suspects mentioned they had a hunch the girl might've been on meth or cocaine.

"Did you do meth or cocaine?" Kate inquired, hoping to God that Rory didn't.

"And if I did?" Rory questioned as she hopped off the counter to grab the scissors. Once she grabbed them and looked up, her mom was right in front of her. The scissors were snatched out of her hand. "Why do you keep taking things from me?"

"Stop giving me reasons to and I won't. And I want an answer to my question. Now."

"Meth? Does it look like I use needles?" Rory asked as she held her arms out.

Kate pushed her daughter's arms down, so they would go back to her sides. "You can smoke or sniff either one of them too."

"I just learned something new today." Rory quickly raised her eyebrows with a smile.

"Guess what, kid?" Kate asked as she put her arm around Rory's shoulders. She guided her to the hall and into her bedroom. "We're going to know all the drugs you did when I get the results back from your drug test."

"What drug test? I never peed in a…" Rory's eyes widened and she attempted to walk away from her mom, but was held back.

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing."

Kate spun her daughter around so they were face to face. "What do you mean you never peed in one?"

"Ignore me."

"Nice try. Tell me what the hell you meant."

"I meant the apple juice, but now I remember the other one you made me do after that."

"You're lying."

"Am not."

"You are. Now tell me what you did."

"Don't hit me."

Kate took a few steps back from her daughter. She never laid a hand on her before and never would. Why would she say that?

"Rory, I would never hit you," she replied, using her finger to lift her daughter's chin up. "Do you understand me?"

"Yeah."

"Now that we have that clear, tell me what you meant by never peeing in the cup."

"Well…"

"Spit it out."

"Synthetic pee…"

Kate had to pinch the bridge of her nose to stop herself from getting pissed off so early in the morning. She nodded to herself a few times before looking back at Rory.

"Looks like I'm keeping your phone for more than a couple weeks," Kate said as she crossed her arms.

"That's not fair."

"You just admitted that you're using. Why would I let you have your phone back?"

"Fine. Whatever. I don't care. Keep it."

"Glad you agree," Kate smirked before walking over to the doorway. "Now I'm going back to bed. You will hear my whole new list of rules when I get up."

Rory watched her mom walk out of her room. She fell back on her bed and stared at the tapestry tacked to the ceiling. The psychedelic colors looked like they were swirling together, but that was just her imagination. If only she had been more careful, her mom wouldn't have found anything out. And now she was in deep shit. As long as the reason why she did these things didn't make its way to the surface, she would be fine.

…..

"Rory, let's go," yelled Kate as she stood outside of the bathroom door.

Rory swung the door open and glanced at her mom before walking out. When she made her way into the kitchen, she sat at the table. She prepared herself for the new rules all morning.

Kate walked over to the counter and grabbed the two medicine bottles next to the sink. She took the tops off and one pill out of each. She brought them to the table with her and sat across from Rory.

"I shouldn't have to make sure you take these. You're sixteen," she said as she handed Rory the pills.

"I don't like how they make me feel."

"But they control how you act in school. I'd rather not have to pick you up again for disrupting your class."

"That happened once."

"This month."

"Okay. Whatever." Rory grabbed the cup on the table and tossed the pills in her mouth. After she swallowed the juice, she looked back at her mom.

"Open your mouth."

"What? Why?"

"I know your tricks. I'm not stupid."

"Fine," said Rory before she opened her mouth.

"Tongue up," Kate commanded.

Rory glared at her mom and lifted her tongue to reveal one pill. The one that made her as calm as a person could get.

"Nice try," Kate said as she pushed the cup of orange juice closer to Rory.

This time Rory swallowed it and sat back in the chair with her arms crossed.

"Now for the rules," Kate began as she folded her hands on the table. "No more drinking or smoking. No more paraphernalia in my house. I already threw away what I found while you were in the bathroom. You will be picked up by me or your Grandpa after school. That way I know you're not out with your friends. I think that covers everything. Any questions?"

Rory shook her head and held her mom's stare.

"If you break any of these, you will be at the precinct with me all day. Got it?"

"Why don't you just get a leash?" Rory mumbled while looking down at her lap.

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing. Can I go now? You're going to make me late."

"Oh, I forgot. I'm bringing you to school from now on because I spoke with your principal this morning. He says that you have been absent quite a lot lately and he pulled up your grades. How the hell did you go from Bs straight down to Ds?"

"I get As on my tests, so I don't know," Rory lied with a shrug.

Kate bit down on her lip and observed Rory. The dark circles under her eyes were more noticeable than normal, indicating lack of sleep or drug use. She tried to remember if they have been like that lately. She was about to let that thought go over her head until she recalled watching Rory pile makeup on under her eyes weeks ago. Now she felt like a bad mother for not noticing it any sooner. She really needed to stop staying at work all night.

"See the cupboard behind you?"

Rory turned around and pointed to the one next to the sink. "That one?"

"Yup. Open it and take the yellow tinted cup out."

Rory did as told and checked over the cup in her hands. "What is this?"

"Follow me," Kate commanded as she walked down the hall. She waited outside the bathroom and motioned for Rory to go in. She walked in after her and leaned against the sink. "Fill it."

"I can't pee with you watching me."

"I don't care. Fill it."

"This is so awkward," Rory mumbled as she unhooked her belt. She glanced over at her mom. "Could you at least not look at me?"

"Fine." Kate tried with all her might not to smile. Out of all things to get uncomfortable Rory picked peeing in front of her.

…..

Kate drove the car up to the school and parked by the curb. She watched as Rory took her seat belt off and opened the door.

"Behave," she said right before Rory stepped out.

The door slammed shut, making Kate sigh. Rory was getting harder to handle by the minute.

She looked out the window to make sure Rory actually went to class. She saw her daughter walk up to a group of about seven kids. Trevor welcomed her with a big hug and put his arm around her shoulders. They walked into the school like that.

Kate bit down on her lip, trying to figure out if that was Rory's boyfriend or not. The way he looked at her, like she was the world to him, made it seem like it, but Rory never returned that look. She ended up wondering if Rory was a virgin… Oh dear God. Looked like she would be asking that question tonight.

When she looked back at the school, everyone was already inside, so she took off to the morgue to have Lanie test the pee sample that was in her cup holder.

She bit down on her nails as she was driving. The thought of her sixteen year old not being a virgin bothered her. She lost hers when she was almost seventeen, but this was different. This was her daughter who wasn't even responsible enough to take her own medicine.

She had to stop herself from rolling her eyes as her mother's words replayed in her head.

Her mom was always right.

…..

_It was midday at the Beckett's home. Jim was still off at work, but Johanna, Kate, and Rory were gathered in the living room. A movie was on the TV screen, even though the only person that was paying attention was Kate. _

_Trying to get a one year old to watch a movie wasn't possible. Rory's attention span was the size of a peanut. Most of the time Kate didn't mind, but there have been other instances where it drove her insane._

_Rory watched her mom and grandma talk to each other. Neither one of them were paying attention to her, so she grabbed the glass on the coffee table. She lifted it up and took a few steps back. Her excited squeals was what made them both look at her._

_"Mallorie, no!" Johanna yelled and quickly got off the couch, but it was too late. _

_Rory purposely dropped the cup on the floor to see what it would do. When it shattered, her blue eyes went really wide. The colors shining from the pieces of glass made her squat down and try to take a piece. Her small wrist was grabbed just as she was going to pick one up. She tilted her head so far back that it made her fall on her butt. When she saw her mom standing over her, she gave her a big smile, showing all six of her teeth, and babbled as she tried to stand back up._

_"That's naughty, Mallorie!" Johanna shouted as she put the bigger pieces of glass on the coffee table. "Kate, can you go grab the vacuum?"_

_Rory furrowed her brow and jabbered at her grandma because she was yelled at. She placed her hands on her head and kept babbling until her mom lifted her up._

_"You don't touch Mommy's or Grandma's cups, got it?" Kate asked with her finger pointed at her daughter._

_Rory grabbed onto her mom's finger and shook it, letting more babbling escape from her. She tried to bounce herself on her mom's hip, but was held closer to make it impossible._

_When Kate opened the hall closet to grab the vacuum, Rory's jerky movements made her almost drop her. _

_"Stop," she demanded, but it didn't work. It was Rory's crying that made her remember that she was afraid of the vacuum. "Oh my god. I'm so sorry," she gently spoke, quickly closing the closet door._

_"What are you doing to my granddaughter?" Johanna questioned as she walked out of the living room._

_"I forgot she was afraid of the vacuum," Kate defended herself, even though she felt horrible._

_"Is Mommy a big meanie?" Johanna asked while she put her hands out to see if Rory wanted to go to her. When Rory lifted her arms up, Johanna took her from Kate. "Let's get you some juice while Mommy cleans up your mess."_

_Kate watched them walk toward the kitchen before getting the vacuum out of the closet. Just as she rolled it into the living room, the phone rang. She practically ran over and picked it up._

_"Hello?"_

_"Becks!" Maddie exclaimed from the other end._

_"Jesus," Kate replied, holding the phone a little ways from her ear. "What's up?"_

_"I'm bored. Can I come over? I wanna see Rory again."_

_Kate smiled as she brought the phone back against her ear. She was glad that nobody treated her differently after having a baby at seventeen. It was most likely due to her reputation. Maddie told her that everyone called her the badass that nobody wanted to mess with. Yet all the guys always wanted her… Weird how that worked._

_"You don't wanna see me? How rude."_

_"That's not what I meant."_

_"I'm only kidding. Let me ask my mom if you can come over," Kate said, holding the phone against her chest. "Mom!" she yelled._

_"What?" Johanna asked as she walked back into the living room with Rory on her hip._

_"Can Maddie come over?"_

_"Sure," Johanna answered with a smile. She handed Rory her bottle and walked back to the kitchen._

_"She said you can," Kate happily spoke into the phone._

_"See you in fifteen," Maddie replied with a squeal before hanging up._

_Kate set the phone back on the receiver before rolling the vacuum over to the glass. It took her a good five minutes until all of the small pieces were no longer visible on the carpet. When she was finished, she put the vacuum back in the hall closet and walked into the kitchen._

_"What the…"_

_Rory had a box under her upper right arm and was taking crackers out of it. She was throwing them on the floor and stepping on them. From the look of it, she had been doing that for several minutes. What drew that conclusion was the sight of about ten other crackers smashed against the floor. Rory's squeals of joy made it hard for Kate to stop her. And where was her mom?_

_Just as she asked herself that question, Johanna opened the basement door, carrying a basket of laundry through the doorway. When she saw the mess her granddaughter created, she dropped the basket._

_Rory looked toward the loud sound and smiled when she saw who made it. The box of crackers fell from her arm when she clapped her hands together._

_"Why are you causing so much trouble today?" Kate asked as she lifted Rory into her arms._

_"Ba ba ba," Rory continuously said as she looked at her mom. She put her hands on her nose. "Da da da da."_

_"No. I'm Mama," Kate corrected with a smile at her daughter's small words._

_"Mmm-ah," Rory repeated as she tried to bounce in her mom's arms with a giant smile._

_"Her cuteness makes it hard to be mad at this." Johanna motioned her hand toward the mess on the kitchen floor._

_"I know," Kate agreed as she hugged her daughter nice and tight. "Let's pick up your mess."_

_"I got it," Johanna said, causing Kate to look at her. "You have company coming. I can handle cracker crumbs."_

_"You sure?"_

_"I'm positive. Now go."_

_Kate nodded and kissed Rory's forehead before walking out of the kitchen with her. "Maddie's coming to visit. Do you remember her?"_

_"Dee," Rory said as she grabbed onto her mom's necklace. "Dee deeeee," she chanted, pulling harder on the chain._

_"Let go," Kate lightly demanded as she stopped walking and attempted to uncurl Rory's fingers from around her necklace. Once she got it back, knocking came from the door. "Guess who's here?"_

_Maddie allowed herself in and threw her arms in the air when she saw Rory. "Look at the pretty little girl!" she exclaimed._

_Rory got overly excited and almost flung herself onto the floor. Thankfully, Kate kept a good grip on her as she set her down. _

_Once Rory's feet touched the ground, she was running toward Maddie. She ended up falling since her running skills weren't fully developed, and crawling the rest of the way._

_Maddie lifted Rory into her arms and spun her around, creating squeals and giggles. When she stopped she saw the smile she was receiving from her friend._

_"What?"_

_"It's cute seeing you this way," Kate admitted with a shrug._

_Maddie smiled until she felt her earring being tugged. "Ow!"_

_Rory was blowing raspberries as she tried to get the shiny hoop. When she felt her mom's hand on hers, she looked up. She leaned toward her mom, still holding onto the earring._

_"Ow ow ow ow," Maddie yelped._

_Kate let Rory's hand wrap itself around her shirt as she got the earring free from the other hand. She lifted Rory high up on her hip and pointed her finger at her. _

_"You don't pull earrings. That's bad."_

_"What did she do?" Johanna questioned as she walked into the hall and toward the front door._

_"She pulled my earring," Maddie answered as she rubbed her ear._

_"She's being so bad today," Kate sighed with furrowed eyebrows at Rory._

_"I hope when she's older, she is twice as bad as you were. Payback." Johanna smirked as she walked into the living room._

_"That's not funny, Mom!" Kate yelled out. She looked at her daughter who was staring at her with her big blue eyes. "You won't be bad, will you?"_

…..

Yeah, Kate was definitely getting it way worse with Rory. At least when she was younger she didn't do any hard drugs. The worst she did was smoke marijuana, which was only one time. Then her reckless nights with her one boyfriend ended up getting her pregnant.

Oh god.

If Rory were to get pregnant, she would not be able to handle it as well as her mom did. Her mom told her the options, but she didn't want to get an abortion or put her baby up for adoption. It might have been an accident, but she already loved her unborn child. And the way her mom stayed calm made her feel less afraid.

However, Johanna's calmness was more of a front. Kate remembered walking to her room one night to hear her mom crying to her dad how that wasn't supposed to happen. That Kate's future was supposed to be anything she wanted and now she would have a daughter weighing her down. It hurt knowing her mom was in pain over her being careless.

Kate pulled up to the precinct and parked the car. She leaned her head against the back of the seat. A loud sigh escaped her before she got out.

Once she walked into the bullpen, her eyes fell on Castle. He was busy on his phone, patiently waiting for her appearance.

"Hey," she greeted when she was a few feet away from him.

"Would you like to go see my mom's play?" Castle asked as he finished his round of Angry Birds.

"When is it?"

"Tonight at 6:30 pm. We get third row seats."

"Uh, sure. Why not."

"Good. You need some fun."

Kate glared at him while she sat down in her chair. When he looked up, it was hard not to chuckle at his scared expression.

"I mean, uh, after all those things with your daughter. You deserve a night out."

"I guess you're right. I just need to make sure she stays at home all night."

"Oh.. Right."

"Here. I'll ask my dad," Kate said, picking up her phone to shoot her dad a quick text. Within seconds he replied saying he'd be at her place at 6:15 pm. It was like he wanted her to go out with Castle, which was odd. "He said he would."

"Awesome!" Castle's enthusiasm made her smile and shake her head. He was definitely a big kid. "So, what do you have to do today?"

"Finish all this paperwork," Kate answered as she motioned to the thick folders on her desk.

"I can help. I can write like you, but you will have to sign everything."

Kate eyed him suspiciously. He was trying to get at something, but she couldn't figure out what. "Why are you trying to do this? You never have before."

"So we can get out early. You have to wear something extravagant to the play, says my mother."

"I have things I could wear."

"It has to be new."

"Are you trying to get me to go shopping with you?"

"No… I hate shopping. But if you're going, I'll go."

Kate nodded at his last statement. He just wanted to spend time with her. It was cute.

No.

She shook her head trying to get that out of her mind. She couldn't let anything happen between them. Not yet. Not with Rory spiraling out of control.

"So let's do this." Castle anxiously announced as he took one of the folders. He looked behind his shoulder to see if Montgomery was watching, but he was busy doing his own paperwork.

"I'll warn you if he comes out."

It took a lot longer to finish the paperwork than Castle thought it would. Nearly three hours passed and his hand was cramping up. Typing words was way more simple and faster.

He watched his partner check over the one he completed about five minutes ago. He was about to ask her if she wanted a cup of coffee, but her phone rang.

Kate looked up at the disturbance and grabbed her phone from her desk. She was going to silence it until she saw the name across the screen.

Rory's school.

"Great," she mumbled as she answered it. "Beckett."

"Hello, Ms. Beckett. This is Rory's school. We were wondering if you could swing by and pick her up."

"What's going on?"

"It's best if we discuss this in the office."

"Uh, can you give me ten minutes?"

"Yes. We will see you soon."

Kate kept her phone by her ear as she looked over at Castle.

"What?" he questioned.

"I have to go pick up Rory."

"Oh. Is she okay?"

"They wouldn't tell me what happened. They have to discuss it in the school. It's one of their weird policies."

"I see…"

"I'll be right back," Kate spoke as she got out of her chair and headed to Montgomery's office. She lightly knocked on the door before walking in. "Sir, I have to go pick up my daughter from school. I'll be no more than a half hour."

Montgomery looked up from his desk to see one of his favorite detectives. He then glanced at the clock on the wall. "Use this as your lunch break. It's 11:30 am. I won't tell." He winked.

"Thank you, sir." Kate smiled before walking out of his office. Castle was standing up by her desk, shrugging his leather jacket on, even though it was still nice outside. "You can come, but you're to wait outside of the school."

"Alright."

…..

Walking up to the school brought back memories for Kate. She had to repress them because she needed to focus on Rory and whatever happened.

She pulled one of the doors open and walked in. She made her way down the hall and took a right to enter the principal's office. Rory was in her normal seat, with a small garbage can in front of her. The dark circles under Rory's eyes were a lot darker than this morning. Her skin was a few shades lighter and she was trembling.

Kate ignored the secretary and sat down by Rory. "What the hell happened to you?" she asked, brushing her daughter's hair behind her ear.

"Ms. Beckett," the principal, Mr. Clifton, said.

"What's wrong with her?" Kate inquired as she smoothed some of Rory's hair down.

"Her Math teacher said she was nodding off in class until she asked to go to the bathroom. Her friend Trevor brought her to the nurse's office because she was throwing up," Mr. Clifton said, making his way over to Kate. He spoke at a whisper. "If my education isn't mistaken, she's having withdrawals."

"Are you sure it's not just the flu?"

"It could be. We aren't quite sure since she hasn't spoken since Trevor went back to class."

"Okay. Do I have to sign her out?" Kate asked as she stood up, keeping her eyes locked on Rory.

"If you would, please," Mr. Clifton answered as he headed back to his office. Before he entered, he turned back around. "Have a good day you two."

"Thanks," Kate said as she shakily signed her name to release Rory from the school. When she was finished, she turned back around. "Come on." she helped pull Rory to her feet.

Rory dragged herself out of the office and school. She would have fallen down the stairs if her mom didn't grab onto her arm.

"I would really like to know what you're withdrawing from," Kate sighed as she helped her Rory into the car.

Rory didn't even hear the question. Instead, she laid down in the back seat, completely oblivious to Castle's presence.

The car ride to the apartment was completely silent. Kate wasn't sure if she should be mad or worried. And so far, worry was conquering the anger.

"How about I just buy you a dress or something?" Castle asked when they parked outside the apartment building.

"You don't have to, Castle."

"I want to." He smiled with a lot of happiness. "Besides, it's one of the many things I'm good at."

"Picking out dresses?"

"Yes."

"So many feminine traits in you," Kate joked as she got out of the car. She opened the back door to find that Rory was asleep. "Great."

"What?" Castle asked as he looked back. "Want me to carry her?"

"I think I can handle it."

"Kate, let me." Castle quickly got out of the car and opened the back door.

Both him and Kate got Rory into a sitting position, which didn't disturb her sleep at all. He got his arms under her and slowly pulled her out. She was way lighter than he thought. It was like carrying a feather.

Once they entered the apartment, Kate helped Castle settle Rory on the couch. She sat on the coffee table and attempted to call her dad. It rang a few times and went to voicemail. He must be at work.

"What am I supposed to do? I can't leave her alone..."

"Call Montgomery and tell him she's sick. It's not entirely false. He has a weakness with kids. At least that's what I've noticed."

"It's probably because he's a father himself," Kate replied as she dialed the precinct's number. She spoke to the Captain and he had no issue with her staying home because there wasn't a case. Everything was always different when they were working on a case.

"Want me to go get some coffee before I go shopping for you and me?"

"I can't believe you're going to buy me a dress."

"Believe it because I am."

Kate rolled her eyes. "I don't need coffee. I make my own when I'm at home."

"Alright." Castle grinned and headed for the door.

"Castle."

He turned around to see Kate standing by the kitchen table.

"Thank you," she said with a slight smile.

"No problem," he smiled back before walking out the door.

…..

When Jim arrived at the apartment at a little before 6:30 pm, Kate hugged him before checking on Rory. Since Rory was still asleep, it was highly likely her dad wouldn't have to deal with much.

Her phone started to ring and she quickly answered it.

"Ready?" Castle asked from the other end.

"On my way out," Kate replied while sliding her heels on. She put a light sweater on and turned toward her dad who was making himself a cup of coffee. "I'll be back in a couple hours."

"I can handle it, Katie." Jim warmly smiled. "You look great."

"Thanks," Kate blushed before exiting her apartment.

As she entered the passenger seat of Castle's Mercedes, she could feel his eyes glued on her. But when she looked his way, he quickly brought them to the windshield.

"Smooth," she laughed while putting her seat belt on.

"I see the dress fits."

"It does. I have no clue how you can tell what size I wear by just looking at me."

"It's a gift… well, more like something I learned from Meredith on her weekly shopping sprees."

"I see." Kate bit down on her lip and looked out the window. The talk of his ex-wives always got under her skin and she didn't know why.

"So, how's Rory?"

"Still asleep."

"Crashing?"

"I'm pretty sure she crashed last night. But then again, she didn't sleep."

"Do you know what she does?" Castle asked as he took a sharp right turn.

"Lanie told me that she would have the results at the end of her shift, which doesn't end til about 11 pm."

"How does she work those shifts? I would fall asleep on the dead people."

Kate couldn't help but chuckle at him because she could see Castle doing that. Falling asleep just as he was about to do an autopsy.

"Kate."

"Hm?"

"How do you do it?"

"Do what?"

Castle tapped his thumbs on the steering wheel, trying to think of a good way to ask his question. He glanced over at his partner to find that she was watching his every move, which made it harder for him to ask.

"How do you handle Rory?" he finally asked.

"I don't know, Castle. I really don't know."

Castle could hear the way she choked up with her last sentence. He didn't want to put her on the spot, so he placed his hand on hers and gave it a small squeeze before returning it to the steering wheel.

"If you ever need anything, let me know. I'll help in any way you want."

"Help me figure out what's going through her head. She doesn't talk to me, ever."

Castle let a small laugh escape from him. "I can't do that. I hardly know her."

"She's impossible to read. She acts like I don't know her at all, which is somewhat true. I feel like she puts up a wall with me and I want to know how it even got there."

"I don't know, Kate. Maybe you should have a heart to heart with her. You know?"

Kate nodded. "Let's not worry about this right now. It's my fun night out, remember?"

"Yeah." Castle playfully grinned as he parallel parked in front of the theater. "Ready to see my mother act?"

…..

The play lasted a little over two hours. They stayed after to give Martha the flowers that Castle brought. They talked for a good half hour before leaving.

The drive back to Kate's apartment didn't seem as long as it really was. They were both laughing and talking about random things that came to mind.

When Castle stopped in front of her apartment building, Kate didn't want to get out quite yet. She was having too much fun, which made her make a mental note to do something this weekend with Lanie or Maddie.

"Have a good night," Castle said as she got out of the car.

She peeked in at him and smiled. "Thanks. You too," she spoke before closing the door. She watched him drive off before heading inside.

Upon entering the apartment, she slid her heels off and made her way into the living room. Her dad was fast asleep on the smaller couch and Rory was sitting up on the other.

"Hey," Kate greeted as she sat down beside her. Since Rory's attention was still on the TV, she reached for the remote and once it was in her hand, she turned it off. "Are you okay now?" No reply. She cupped Rory's chin and brought it so they were face to face. "You slept all-" She stared into Rory's eyes to see how bloodshot they were. "No. No!" she yelled and abruptly stood up. "I told you no more drugs!"

Kate's yelling woke her dad up. He slowly got himself in a sitting position and rubbed his eyes to get rid of the sleepiness. He dared not say a word until his daughter was finished.

"I told you not to bring them in my house! I told you! You were right over there." She jabbed her thumb at the kitchen. "Do you not remember?" She was fuming and she had to pace back and forth to calm herself down. "How did you even get any? Your grandpa was here the entire time!"

Rory slowly closed her eyes and opened them to see that her mom was still there and still yelling. "Just leave me alone," she mumbled as she got up and headed toward her room. Before she made it to the entrance of the hall, she was jerked back.

"I will not just leave you alone. I want you to stop this, Mallorie. Do you not know how much I care about you? All of this." Kate waved her hand at the air. "All of your actions are affecting me too."

"No they're not," Rory distantly replied. "Just leave me alone," she said as she yanked her arm out of her mom's grasp. She walked into her room and slammed the door closed.

Kate rested her forehead against the hall wall. She turned herself around and slowly slid down it with her face in her hands. All the fun with Castle was quickly forgotten. Reality hit her harder than a bag of bricks.

…..

After checking to make sure Rory was asleep, Kate finally went to sleep at around 12 am. She climbed into bed and hugged her body pillow. She wished her mom was still alive to help her with all of this. She would know what to do.

Tears began to fill her eyes. She had to blink about a thousand times to make them disappear.

She let her mind wander to the good days before Rory hated her, before they were so distant from each other. Those thoughts were the main reason she fell asleep so easily.

She was having a good dream until the loud ring from her phone filled her ears. She snatched it off the side table and answered it, her eyes never opening.

"Beckett," she yawned.

"M-ms. B-becke-ett," a young boy's voice said on the other line.

"Yeah?"

"Rory told me to meet her in Central Park, so I did. Just as I walked up to the bench we usually meet at, she walked over with some kid I don't know. He ended up leaving and now she won't wake up," the speed the voice on the other line spoke with, made her sit up.

"Who is this?"

"Trevor. I'm so scared. I don't know what to do."

"Wait. Hold on a second. What happened?"

"I met Rory in Central Park. Some kid escorted her to the bench we usually meet up at. We were talking for awhile until I saw that she was nodding off. I'm not sure what her and the kid did, but she won't wake up. I called 911 before I called you." Trevor paused and the sound of sirens made it's way through the phone. "They're here."

"Which hospital?" Kate questioned with a great deal of panic.

"NYU Medical Center," Trevor answered with an intense amount of fear.

"I'm on my way." Kate ended the call and practically dove out of bed. She didn't care what she had on. A t-shirt and sweatpants wouldn't matter in a hospital at… 2 in the morning.

She ran out of her room and toward the door. She grabbed her purse off the counter and slid on her flip flops. Once she was out the door, she ran to the stairs and basically slid down them.

The run to her car took too much time for her liking. And when she got inside, she started the engine and raced to the hospital.

Parking her car took too long. She ended up parking so crooked, that it would be possible for someone to hit her, but she didn't care. Rory was in this hospital somewhere.

When she was out of her car, her legs made her run to the ER doors before her mind could tell her where to go. She rushed past the sliding doors and over to the receptionist.

"Ro-" she stopped herself short when she saw Trevor standing by the waiting room. If she wasn't mistaken, he had tears streaming down his face. She walked over to him with long strides.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry," Trevor kept saying until she placed her hand on his shoulder.

"You did the right thing."

"She told me to meet her, so we could talk. She needed to talk to me, but she wouldn't wake up."

"Sit down and relax. I'm going to go see how she's doing, okay?"

Trevor nodded and slowly sat down. He let his head hang in guilt and it was hard for Kate not to feel sorry for him. He didn't mean for this to happen. Hell, he didn't know it was going to.

She decided to walk back up to the receptionist and ask for Rory's room.

Once she walked in the correct one, she saw Rory in the hospital bed. She had the normal IV in her arm and breathing tubes in her nose. She looked so frail and weak.

"Is she okay?" she asked the nurse who was reading the breathing machine.

"She has a high amount of heroin in her blood. It looks like it was injected into her right arm and the dose she had was lethal. If her friend didn't call when he did, she probably wouldn't have made it," the nurse explained, giving Kate a sympathetic look. "We're going to be transferring her to ICU for the night."

"Okay," Kate whispered.

A good hour passed until Rory was in her new room in the intensive care unit.

Kate had to persuade Trevor to go home, so he could get enough sleep for school in the morning. She was glad that Rory had him as a friend. He was almost at her level of being worried.

Kate stood in the hall and looked at Rory through the room window. All the machines that she was hooked up to scared her. The simple thought of almost losing her daughter terrified her. She brought her hand up to the window and let a small tear escape once she blinked.

After the doctor walked out of the room, she entered. She pulled one of the chairs over to the bed and heavily sat down.

"I just read Lanie's text. Heroin, meth, and pot, Rory. How could you do such things? Are you trying to purposely hurt yourself?" she questioned, even though she had a feeling Rory couldn't hear her. "You're not going out of my sight again. I can't lose you too," she choked on her last words and grabbed onto her daughter's cold hand. "I can't."

...

_"By the time you come home,_

_I'm already stoned._

_You turn off the TV,_

_And you scream at me.  
><em>

_I can hardly wait,_

_Till you get off my case."  
><em>

_Three Days Grace - Home_

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: Thoughts?<strong>_


	5. Chapter 5

The darkness, it was creeping in on her again.

The moments when she thought she was out of its reach were the moments where it smothered her the most. It made it hard for her to breathe, hard for her to scream. Her body became paralyzed. The only part of her that she could move were her eyes, her beautiful green eyes.

And then she blinked.

The scene changed. She was now in a field, sitting on top of a large hill. Her mother was standing beside her, hair blowing freely in the wind.

She tried to call out to her for help only to find that she was mute. Then, she couldn't breathe again. Gasping for air made her mom's attention go on her, but it wasn't her mother, it was someone else.

The man she imagined to be death. The man with only a mouth. He was making his way to her, dragging his feet behind him. When he knelt down, she saw a demonic smile form across his lips.

"I have her. She's mine," he whispered with a rasp.

Kate jolted awake, her whole body shaking with fear. She ran her hands over her face, making sure she was still alive. Her breathing slowly steadied when she realized it was just a dream.

She didn't have any nightmares in a long time. The last one being from the day she shot Dick Coonan.

She eventually peered over her fingers and fixated on Rory.

Death told her that he had Rory, but that wasn't true. She was still breathing, the rise and fall of her chest indicated that.

So what did he mean?

She needed answers now, even if it would confuse Rory.

"Rory," she said, her voice hoarse from her mouth being so dry. She cleared her throat and tried again. "Rory."

This time, the distant sound of her mom's voice was what stirred Rory out of unconsciousness. She didn't want to leave that state just yet. It was too perfect and mellow, just what she needed. But like everything else in her life, it was too good to last.

She slowly opened her eyes to see an unfamiliar ceiling. She must have been in one of her friend's houses.

The beeping noises and smell said other wise. They made it clear that she was in a hospital.

The panic came without a warning. She threw herself into a sitting position, making herself dizzy in the process, but she didn't care. Instead, she threw the blanket onto the floor to find that something was hooked up to her wrist. An IV. Right when she had a good grip on it and was about to pull it out, she was pinned down on the bed.

Then, she screamed.

The sound that pierced Kate's ears, stunned her. It almost made her falter her grip on Rory. Those were screams she had never heard and they scared her to death, but for Rory's sake, she kept her pinned down.

"No," Rory yelled, tears starting to stream down her face as she kept struggling to get free.

"Rory, hey. It's me," Kate calmly said as loosened her hold on the girl's wrists to get a better grip closer to her hands. She quickly regretted it.

Rory brought her knees to her chest and pushed against Kate to get her off. That action got her wrists fully free, making it easier to grab the IV, but once again, she was too slow.

Kate held Rory's wrists by her side this time. She pressed her forehead against hers and whispered, "I know hospitals are the only things you fear. I know you're probably still high and it's making everything worse for you." She paused when she heard footsteps enter the room. "But nothing is going to happen. I won't let anything happen to you," she finished, kissing Rory's forehead and closing her eyes for a moment.

Seeing Rory that vulnerable was new to her. Well, not exactly new, but it had been years since she saw her cry. Years since her guard was let down. Since it had been so long, she didn't know what to do to help fix it.

"We can sedate her if you-"

"-No." Kate glanced over at the nurse that who appeared beside her. "She despises hospitals, but she will okay."

"As you wish." The nurse bowed her head and walked back out of the room.

Kate turned her head back to Rory, who was staring off at the wall next to them. She decided it was okay to let go of her wrists and sit up.

Rory deliberately scanned the room until her eyes fell back on her mom. Her mom was giving her that worried-but-in-control look.

Oh, she was the one holding her down. That would make sense.

But why exactly was she in the hospital? Last thing she remembered was sitting on the park bench with Trevor, letting the high she had travel through her whole body. It was an amazing feeling and it was gone.

Her brows furrowed as she averted her mom's stare. It still didn't make sense as to why she was in here.

"Tell me what you're thinking, kid," Kate gently said, setting her hand on the other side of Rory's legs, so she would be in a comfortable leaning position.

Rory rolled on her side and trailed her fingers on the cold bed rail. "Why am I here?" she whispered.

"You don't remember?"

Rory shook her head.

"You took a lethal dose of heroin."

"Oh."

"Oh? That's all you have to say?"

"I'm tired."

Kate sharply inhaled and bit down on her lip. She decided it was best to let Rory get some rest before badgering her later in the day. Besides, the steady breathing she could hear confirmed Rory was falling asleep.

…..

The shaking of her shoulder was what woke Kate up this time. She shot her eyes open to see a nurse standing over her, a worried look across the young girl's face.

"What?" she questioned with a big yawn.

"We can't find your daughter, Ms. Beckett."

Kate sat up straighter, letting her eyes get a better adjustment to the light. "What?"

"I came in to check over the machines to make sure everything was running correctly and she was nowhere in sight."

"What time is it?" Kate inquired, lifting her wrist up to check her watch to find out that the pulse oximeter was on her finger.

Ugh. Rory…

She took the pulse oximeter off her finger and handed it to the worried nurse. "Do you know if she left the hospital or just her room?"

"Cameras indicate that she didn't leave the hospital."

"Alright. I'll try and find her."

"Since it's 7:30 in the morning, if you bring her back in here, we can discharge her. I just need to do a few tests to be positive everything is running smoothly."

"Okay." Kate nodded and got out of the chair. She stretched a few times to crack her back since sleeping in a chair wasn't the most comfortable thing in the world.

The moment she walked into the hall, she saw random red spots on the floor. They were scattered far apart, which probably made other nurses dismiss it. But seeing that she was a detective, she knew it meant something. Since the spots started near Rory's room, she had a feeling they were her daughter's.

She took a left turn, keeping her eyes on the floor to follow the red marks. They ended up stopping in this hall, so she looked up.

There were bathrooms on one side and a waiting room on the other. She felt like the bathroom would be where Rory was, so she knocked on the door before trying to go in.

It was locked.

"Rory, open up," Kate said, ear pressed against the door.

The sound of light coughing made it's way to Kate's ear. It was definitely Rory.

"Come on, kid. Open up."

Since she figured Rory wasn't going to open the door, she decided to go grab a nurse to ask for keys.

The older lady behind the desk rummaged through one of the top drawers and pulled out a set of three keys. She held the bathroom key in her fingers.

"Please return this when you're done. This is the only set we have on this floor for the bathrooms."

"I will," Kate promised before grabbing the keys and heading back to the bathroom. She inserted the correct key into the lock and turned it.

When she opened the door, she saw Rory curled up in the corner of the bathroom. Her thin arms were wrapped around her bare legs, hands holding onto her wrists. And there was a small amount of blood trailed down her arm from where the IV was located.

"Rory," Kate whispered, dropping next to her and letting the keys clang to the tiled floor.

The closer she got to Rory, the more noticeable the shaking was. "We need to go back to your room, so the nurse can make sure everything is okay before we leave. I promise after the short tests, we can go home."

"Why did you bring me here? Why?" Rory asked with a raspy voice.

"Because you took a lethal dose of heroin. I know you hate hospitals. I know you had a bad experience in here. I was with you, remember?"

Rory slightly nodded her head against her knees.

Kate gently tried to unhook Rory's hand from around her wrist. When she got it free, she stood up and grabbed a paper towel. Once it was wet from warm water, she knelt back down and placed the paper towel where the IV was. Wiping the blood off made Rory wince, but she kept at it until it was completely gone.

"Come on." Kate got her hands under Rory's upper arms and lifted her to a standing position.

"No," Rory whined, pulling away from her mom, so she was against the wall.

Kate pulled her forward and put her arm around her shoulders, guiding her out of the bathroom and back to her room.

It took a little over a half hour until Rory was released.

It was hospital policy to roll the patients out in a wheel chair, so Kate asked to push Rory out because she could still see the anxiety written across her face.

Once they were outside, Jim got out of Kate's car and waved to get their attention.

Kate rolled the wheel chair to the edge of the sidewalk and stopped. Rory got out of the chair and stood in one spot.

"I would keep an eye on her for the time being," the nurse said, causing Kate to turn toward the voice.

"I plan on it." Kate smiled then turned back to Rory. She guided the girl to the car and got her in the backseat. She placed the bag, in her one hand, on the floor before closing the door.

"All set?" Jim asked, patting his hands on the car roof.

"Ready," Kate answered, glancing in the back window one last time.

She didn't have her chance to talk to Rory about her actions. She opted out doing it while at the hospital because Rory completely shutdown after getting out of the bathroom. Silence was her daughter's way of dealing with certain things, just like herself.

…..

Watching the sun set over the tall buildings was one of Kate's favorite pastimes. She could just stand at the kitchen window all day, but she needed to figure out what was going on with Rory. She glanced out the window once more before taking off to the hall.

Usually she would knock before entering Rory's bedroom, but given last night's events, it didn't matter.

Upon entering the bedroom, the smell of lilac incense tickled her nose. She squinted her eyes in the dimly lit room to locate Rory who was sitting on her bed. And every so often there would be a flicker of light from a lighter.

Kate walked over to the bed and snatched the lighter out of Rory's hand. She put it in her pocket before turning the bedside light on.

"Time to talk," she said, taking a seat on the edge of the bed by Rory's feet.

"I have nothing to say."

"You have _so_ much to explain. For example, why are you doing drugs?"

Rory shrugged, picking at the black nail polish on her pinky.

"Pot, heroin, and meth. You really expect me to just let you shrug this one off?"

"Nope," Rory distantly answered.

"And you broke my rules."

"Sorry 'bout that."

Kate rolled then squinted her eyes. Rory's hazy replies were really getting on her nerves.

"You scared me to death, Mallorie, and you just sit there like it's no big deal. Like what other people feel doesn't matter to you."

"I'm selfish, remember?"

"I wasn't completely serious. I know you care about other people. Just because you don't show it as much as most, doesn't mean you don't. You don't fool me, Mallorie."

Rory kept her head down, but used her eyes to look up.

The glare Kate was receiving from Rory made her a little uneasy. And then the smile. The smile that meant you don't really know me and you never will, so stop trying.

She never wanted to believe that smile whenever it crossed her path, but with the recent event, it was impossible not to.

"But besides that, you're not going out of my sight again. And if you do, I'll know where you are at all times," Kate said, getting Rory's full attention. "No more games. No more drugs. It's going to stay that way," she said in a throttled manner before getting off the bed.

"Fuck you," Rory murmured when Kate was just about to walk out the door.

"Excuse me?" Kate questioned in shock, spinning on her heel to face her daughter.

Rory shrugged before slouching more in her bed. She glanced back over at the door to see that her mom was not longer there. A devious smile made its way across her face.

The games were just beginning.

…..

The following day, Kate decided to give Rory her phone for when she was in class. That way, she could know her whereabouts with the tracking application Castle told her about.

And seeing as Rory didn't think anything of it, just that she had her phone back, the plan was working.

Kate drove up to the high school and luckily got a spot in the front. No words were said since they left the house and it looked like it was going to stay that way, so she watched Rory get out of the car and make her way over to her group of friends.

This time when Trevor stepped forward to greet Rory, she completely steered clear of him. The look on the young boy's face made Kate feel sorry for him. She knew what it was like to have a grudge held by Rory.

It was not fun at all.

By the time Kate checked her watch and looked back up, there was another boy standing with Rory's group.

Tony.

She had to bite her tongue and grip the steering wheel in order to keep herself from getting out of the car and personally hurting that kid. He was obviously the main source for Rory's drug use and he needed to be locked up… soon. She would do it herself, but Ryan said Narcotics were waiting for the right moment.

There was nothing she could do when the group of kids walked into the school together. And it was time to go to work. Hopefully Castle wouldn't question her too much when she gots there, but who was she kidding?

…..

When she entered the bullpen, Ryan, Esposito, and Castle were heading her way.

"Body?" she inquired, keeping the elevator doors from closing, so they could all get in.

"33 West 85th Street," Esposito answered.

Kate nodded and stepped to the back of the elevator. Castle entered and stood beside her.

"Everything okay?" he questioned the tired eyes she had.

"Everything's fine and dandy."

"You know you could tell me if you wanted. I won't speak of it to anyone," he whispered, making sure Ryan and Esposito weren't paying attention. They were having their own conversation about baseball.

"Not right now, Castle. I have work to do."

"Okay." Castle smiled.

Kate was shocked that he didn't keep asking questions. Maybe he finally understood the boundaries that she had. Or maybe he wanted to wait until they were alone. Either way, she was glad she didn't have to talk about it just yet.

…..

When the final bell rang, most of the teens ran out to get away from the school as fast as possible. Rory and her friends were the few that took their time because they didn't want to go home yet.

Once they were outside, they all argued on where to go for something to do. Rory stayed quiet and listened to the suggestions that came up. None of them sounded appealing to her and by the sound of it, everyone wanted her to like where they were going.

"How about we just walk along Broadway?" Trevor suggested. "It's so nice out."

"Sound good?" Tony asked.

Rory smiled with a slight shrug. She actually wanted to go to Strand Books on Broadway to find a book for her stupid paper due next week.

By the time all four of them, Rory, Trevor, Tony, and Jordyn, arrived on Broadway, it was 3:30 pm.

They walked along the streets, peering into random shops, but never finding anything interesting enough to make them go inside. When they eventually drew closer to Strand Books, Rory waved for them to cross the street.

"Why are we going in here?" Tony asked, looking at the book store.

"I need a book for my English paper," Rory answered and held the door open for them. "Shouldn't take long."

But it did take long.

Finding a book that actually sounded like a good read was impossible. None of the teen fiction books sounded good enough, so she made her way over to the mystery section.

Trevor followed her most of the way, trying to help with choosing a book. He didn't know many good ones, he was more into comic books than anything. He did, however, suggest a few mystery books he read before.

He scanned the titles to find one named _Thr3e_ by Ted Dekker. When he finally found it, he grabbed the book and turned to Rory.

"Try this one," he said, holding it out to her.

Rory took the used book and read the summary. "Decent enough," she replied.

After paying for the book, the two of them walked outside to find Tony and Jordyn trying to light a cigarette. Since neither one of their lighters worked, Rory pulled out hers and lit it.

"All set?" Tony asked after his exhale.

"Yup." Rory nodded, taking the cigarette from him to take a quick drag.

The four of them didn't know exactly where they were going now, so they just decided to aimlessly walk around. The moment they turned a corner, they came to a halt.

Paige Turner skidded to a stop, making her friend, Alexis, run into her.

Rory snarled and started to march forward, but was held back by Trevor and Tony.

"Having fun stealing other people's boyfriends?" she growled, clenching her fists.

Paige glanced over at Alexis, clearly nervous, then back at Rory.

"What's going on?" Alexis questioned, confused by the hostility being spat at her friend.

"Your little whore of a friend is a boyfriend stealer," Rory answered, keeping her eyes locked on Paige.

"Whoa, wait a second. You shouldn't make accusations like that," Alexis said, putting her hands up to illustrate surrender and that she meant no harm.

"It's not an accusation. It's the truth, right Paige?" Rory tried to get her arms free from Tony and Trevor's grip, but failed. "We were at the same party, remember? You saw Kieran with me. Yet you fucked him right on the spot."

"You need to stop," Alexis defended Paige, even though she already knew that actually happened. She also knew that Paige regretted it afterwards.

"And who are you?" Rory directed her fierce glare to Alexis. It took her a few seconds until she figured it out. That was Alexis Castle. Her mom's shadow's daughter. Oh this was just too good. "You're that fucker's daughter, aren't you?"

"Excuse me?" Alexis questioned, glancing over at Paige who was giving her a confused look.

"My mom's shadow. The one who dragged her back into my Grandma's murder, made her obsessed with it again, and is fucking with her head."

"Whoa, hold on now."

Rory yanked herself away from Tony and Trevor to charge at Alexis, completely forgetting about Paige.

They stood at the same height, which made it easier to look into each other's eyes.

"Tell your dad to fuck off. Got it?" Rory cocked her head to the side with a sly grin.

"He hasn't done anything," Alexis nervously shot back.

"Do you not know about him threatening his and my mom's life more than once?"

Alexis roughly swallowed the knot that formed in the back of her throat.

"You do." Rory smirked and slightly nodded. She brought her eyes back on Paige. "Don't think this is over, you filthy slut," she growled, taking a few steps in her direction.

"Alright. That's enough," Trevor said, grabbing Rory by the shoulders. He had to use a lot of strength to guide her away from Alexis and Paige, but he succeeded.

"What the hell was that about?" Jordyn questioned, looking back at the two girls that were watching them.

"Remember that party like… two months ago?" Rory asked, biting down on her lip as she stomped forward.

"Yup," Jordyn answered.

"I was with Kieran then. We were walking around the party, looking for something to do. I saw that slut checking him out. She knew I was with him."

"Then what happened?" Tony asked, really intrigued after what he witnessed.

"Not sure. Kieran and I for sure got drunk, did some things, and kind of migrated away from each other for a bit. The moment I go searching for him again, I open the fucking guest room door and what is he doing?"

"Ah. He slept with Paige while with you," Trevor said, nodding his head and understanding why Rory wanted to hurt her.

"And she ran away like a little bitch," Rory laughed with an immoral look in her eyes.

"Isn't she a senior?" Jordyn asked, guiding Rory around the corner.

"Yup. And she was afraid of me. Funny how that works."

"Okay," Trevor announced, clapping his hands together. "Let's get something to eat then go home. I have to watch my little brother tonight."

"Party pooper," Tony teased.

"Oh. I should go to the precinct. Forgot my mom said to go there after school," Rory said to herself, pulling her phone out of her pocket to find three missed calls and seven texts from her mom. "Oops."

…..

The sound of Rory's buckles and chains on her leather jacket and boots alerted Kate that her daughter was in her presence.

Castle was still in the break room, making them cups of fresh coffee and she hoped he would stay in there, so she could yell at Rory.

She quickly jotted down the address of their newest lead then looked up. Rory's contemplated look and uncombed, wavy hair that framed her face made Kate wonder what was running through her daughter's mind.

"Sit," Kate commanded, pointing her pen to the empty chair by her desk.

Rory didn't object and heavily sat down in the brown chair. She kept her head straight, still thinking about Paige and Kieran, and the heartbreak they made her feel.

"Where have you been?" Kate questioned, tapping her pen on the desk and observing Rory.

"Nobody was there to pick me up, so I walked around. No big deal," Rory answered, keeping her eyes locked on the elevator. She wanted to leave so bad.

"Broadway is far from your school."

Rory turned her head to her mom. "What the fuck?"

"Excuse me?" Kate growled, gripping onto her pen a lot harder than before.

Rory blinked and then realized she said that out loud. "How'd you know that?"

"I have my sources."

"Oh. Alexis."

That wasn't Kate's actual source, but she agreed anyway. "Yup."

"Cool," Rory responded, scanning the bullpen. Her eyes fell on Castle who was making his way over to them, a cup of coffee in each hand. "I'm leaving."

Kate slid her chair over to place her hand on Rory's shoulder. She pushed her daughter back into the chair, creating a fierce glare.

"You're not going anywhere until your grandpa gets here. He's taking you home and you will stay there."

"What am I supposed to do while I wait?"

"Homework. You will make your grades go back up, understand?"

"I don't have any homework."

Kate studied Rory's bright, crystal blue eyes to try and find any hint of lying. When she spotted it, she smirked a little. "Nice try."

"I thought I wasn't supposed to be here when you're on a case," Rory said, motioning to the murder board on the other side of her.

"I talked to my Captain and given the circumstances, he said you can be here as long as you stay out of the way."

"Whatever." Rory slouched in the set, crossing her arms. "Not like I have my books with me."

"Here you go," Castle said, handing Kate her cup of coffee. The look he was getting from his partner meant that she had something to ask him, but she couldn't do it right here. He pointed to his phone located in his pocket and she understood.

Kate kept her eyes on Rory while she texted Castle her question. She tapped her phone on her chin, waiting for the reply.

"I'll ask tonight," Castle answered aloud instead of texting back.

Kate nodded and pushed her feet off the floor to roll her chair back in front of Rory. "Look at me."

Rory slowly brought her eyes up to be met with her mom's.

"Okay," Kate said, dismissing the possibility of Rory being high. "Your grandpa should be here in about a half hour or so."

"Cool," Rory mumbled, pulling her phone out of her pocket to find something to do.

…..

Castle was pouring himself a glass of water when he heard the loft door close. The sound of footsteps made their way over to him.

Alexis must be home.

"Hey," he said before taking a sip of his water.

"I have a question," Alexis stated, setting her bag on the counter.

"Shoot."

"Have you ever met Beckett's daughter?"

"I have."

"She's really intimidating for only sixteen."

"Tell me about it. When I met her for the first time, she was… let's just say not friendly. I think I made her feel threatened over something. Not sure what, but I'm hoping I'll someday find out."

"If it wasn't for her friends that were with her today, I have a feeling she would have beaten Paige up…"

"Wait, what?" Castle asked, setting his glass down, completely interested in what Alexis had to say.

"Paige, um, went to one of the high school party's a couple months ago. She ended up getting pretty drunk and you know…"

"Sex?"

"Yeah," Alexis nodded, feeling less nervous about the topic she was about to discuss with her dad.

"Okay. Continue," Castle replied, setting his elbows on the counter to lean better.

"She had sex with Rory's boyfriend at the time. Rory walked in on them and if Paige didn't run out when she did, she was pretty sure Rory would have killed her."

"Oh man. She has a pretty big grudge on Paige, doesn't she?"

"Yeah… Paige thought it was forgotten until today. Dad, she is not someone I would want to mess with."

"Why not?"

"She told me to tell you to, excuse my language, fuck off."

Castle's eyes widened at the word his daughter just said, but then again he really didn't care. She was eighteen and it wasn't like she dropped the f-bomb all the time. Once in a while wouldn't bother him, much.

And why would Rory want him to… Oh. She really didn't like him, did she?

"If I were you, I'd listen."

"Alexis, she can't do anything to me. I'm pretty sure Beckett wouldn't let her."

"You must not know much about her."

"Not really." He shrugged with a small grin.

"Just be careful, okay?"

"Okay, Pumpkin. I will," he answered, making his way over to the other side of the island to give her a big hug.

If he were to say that he felt threatened to her, she wouldn't let him out of the house again. During their hug, he remembered that Kate told him to tell her what Alexis said, so he pulled away from Alexis and kissed the top of her head before heading to his office. When he took his phone out of his pocket, he quickly called Kate.

Three rings later and he could hear the sound of the phone being set against her ear.

"Beckett," she said.

"I have some things to tell you."

…..

_Show me how it ends, it's alright._

_Show me how defenseless you really are._

_Satisfied and empty inside._

_Well, that's alright, let's give this another try._

_Breaking Benjamin - So Cold_

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: Introduced Alexis to this with a bang. She will appear in upcoming chapters too (: Thoughts?<strong>_


	6. Chapter 6

Usually staring at the murder board for a given amount of time would help Kate come up with some realistic theory, unlike Castle's go-to CIA one. She has a feeling that one day he will be right and then there will never be the time where he lets it go.

She tapped her mouth with the top of the marker, pacing back and forth in front of the board. There had to be someone or something that didn't like Mrs. Jacobs. But what?

"Hot, hot, hot," Castle said in the distance.

Kate squinted her eyes at the timeline once more before turning toward Castle's whiny voice. "Hot coffee?"

"Extremely," he answered, quickly setting the two cups of fresh coffee on his partner's desk. "I told them I wanted hot coffee and they definitely gave me hot."

"How long until I can drink it?" she questioned, eyeing the coffee. She really, really needed it to help with her concentration, unlike her daughter. If Rory had coffee, she would have to kill her to calm her down. And that was the honest truth.

"Any leads?" Castle asked, standing next to Kate in front of the murder board.

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing."

"I'm telling you-"

"-Hush," Kate said, placing that back of her hand near his mouth. "If you tell me that it was the CIA one more time, I will make sure they actually come after you."

"Could you?"

"What?"

"That would be so cool if the CIA came after me."

Kate rolled her eyes and crossed her arms before studying the murder board again.

"So anything bad happen last night with Rory?"

"Surprisingly, no. You'd think she would be withdrawing right about now."

"Would her ADHD medications make her so calm that she felt high?"

Kate sharply turned toward Castle. "How did you know she has ADHD?"

"Uh, um… Lanie."

"You just can't stay out of my personal life, can you?" Kate asked, glaring into his deep blue eyes.

"I'm sorry. I just wanted to know more, so I can help."

"Okay," she replied, dismissing him so she could focus on the case and find the killer.

"I still think it was the CIA," he murmured with a smirk.

"Castle!"

"Not the CIA, bro," Esposito said while walking over to them. "Could be a man known as, Bradley Pulaski." He held up a piece of paper with an address. "He's been arrested for battery and child abuse before. And get this. He's our victim's ex-ex-ex boyfriend."

Kate reached out and took the paper from her partner. "Told you, not the CIA," she said, glaring at Castle before grabbing her keys off the desk.

"Is Bradley in the CIA?" Castle asked, following Kate with Esposito next to him.

"Yeah right," Esposito answered, standing back as his two partners stepped into the elevator.

"I will make sure you get stuck in this elevator again, Castle," Kate said, pressing the button for the first floor and waving at Esposito.

"With you? That wouldn't be so bad," he replied, raising his eyebrows with a grin.

"By yourself."

"Not cool."

"Then quit the CIA stuff for this case."

"Scout's honor."

"You were never a scout. You even said so the first day we met."

"You remember that?" Castle questioned, turning toward Kate with that curious look on his face.

"I'm a detective, I have an ear and an eye for detail," Kate answered, rolling her eyes in the process to throw him off.

"Oh, right. Okay."

Easily abolished. Just the way she liked it.

They excited the elevator when they stopped at the correct floor and headed toward the outdoors. Once in the car, Kate pulled out into the busy streets. They arrived at Bradley's address to find that nobody was home and since Kate didn't have a warrant, she couldn't exactly break the door down.

"Now what?" Castle asked, looking around the hall.

"We either wait outside or come back later," Kate answered, trying the door handle one last time.

"A stakeout? Cool!"

"You get way too excited over small things," Kate said with a smile, leading the way out of the apartment building.

After getting back in the car, she snatched her coffee out of the cup holder and vigorously took a sip. Okay, it was more like eight sips.

"Geeze," Castle said, watching her the entire time.

"What?" Kate questioned, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

"Nothing," he answered with a smile. "What can we do to make the stakeout go by faster?"

"You can shut up and play on your phone while I read on mine."

"Fine," he sighed, pulling his phone out to see that it was 3:12 pm. "It's already 3 o'clock? Surprised Alexis hasn't texted me or anything."

"Oh crap," Kate said, opening up the tracking application on her phone. She waited until it loaded to see where Rory was. Central Park. "Road trip, Castle. We can stakeout later."

"What? Why?" he asked, upset that he couldn't do a stakeout right now.

"My daughter is in Central Park. And last time she was there-"

"-Bad things happened." Castle nodded and put his seatbelt on.

The drive to Central Park took too long for Kate's liking. She was very tempted to turn the siren on to get through all of these cars. It was like whenever she was in a hurry, traffic was ridiculous.

She used a ton of speed when parking the car on the side of the road that it made Castle's body fling to the side.

"Whoa," he said, holding onto the dashboard to keep himself upright.

"Sorry," Kate replied with a laugh.

"It's fine," he responded, getting out of the car at the same his partner did.

Kate held her phone out in front of her, trying to find the exact spot where Rory was located. She was about to turn down a path until her bicep was grabbed and she was pulled back.

"What?" she questioned, clearly annoyed with the disturbance.

"Look," Castle said, pointing to a clear area that most people brought their pets or kids to run around on.

Rory was running after a dirty-blonde haired little boy who, from this distance, looked like he was around the age of two. The chains on her black capris were hitting her thighs as she was chasing the boy and Kate could see the untied shoelaces from here. Definitely her daughter.

Kate stood with most of her weight on one foot and her arms crossed. She was trying to figure out what was going on until she saw Trevor scoop up the little boy and hold him above his head. Must be his little brother.

Rory's laughter when she took the little boy from Trevor made its way over to Kate. Her daughter was showing so much happiness, something she rarely witnessed herself lately. It was refreshing and made Kate want to get closer to have a better view.

"He likes her," Castle said when he saw the little boy climb onto the now sitting Rory's lap. Rory fell on her back and rolled, so she could get the boy under her. She got herself on her knees and it looked like she was tickling him. "This is cute."

"This is something I've never seen before," Kate muttered, still watching her daughter's natural red highlights and smile radiating in the sun.

"A different side to her?" Castle asked, turning toward his partner to see an expression of astonishment.

"Completely," Kate answered with a whisper, closing her eyes for a moment. When she opened them, the scene of her daughter playing with the little boy was still there. She wasn't imagining it.

She watched Rory take something from Trevor and put it in her mouth. It wasn't until Kate saw the smoke exhaled out of Rory's mouth did she realize it was a cigarette. Trevor took his little brother and ran him away from the smoke, distracting the boy with what Kate guessed was a baseball. He was a good big brother, wasn't he?

Rory laid down in the grass, letting the blades tickle her bare arms as she looked up at the sky. The clouds were more noticeable and in various forms today. She took another long drag of her cigarette, exhaling after several seconds and watching the smoke trail away. She was about to take another until her phone starting going off in her pocket. When she pulled it out and saw it was her mom, she flicked the cigarette away and answered.

"What?"

"Where are you?" Kate asked, even though she knew. She just wanted to see if Rory would lie.

"Laying down."

Not exactly a lie, but Kate needed more details. "Where?" she asked.

"I'll stop by the precinct in a bit, okay?"

"I'll see you then," Kate answered, dismissing her daughter to get back to work. She will find out more about Trevor later. Until then, she ended the call and continued to watch Rory for a few minutes.

Andrew ran over to Rory and landed right on her stomach, causing her to curl up and laugh.

"Ow," she said, wrapping her arms around the boy.

"Tell her what you told me," Trevor said, sitting beside his brother.

"Smoking bad," Andrew said, placing his hands on Rory's cheeks. "No more."

"No more," Rory replied, kissing the boy's forehead before getting him off her.

"Let's go on the playground then go home. Mom wants to see your magic trick you showed me earlier," Trevor said, lifting Andrew over his shoulder and creating loud laughs.

Rory sat up to see two figures in the distance walking away. If she wasn't mistaken that was her mom. No, her mom was working on a case. And how would she know that she was here?

She quickly repressed that thought and got onto her feet. She had to run to catch up with Trevor. "I'll show you a cool monkey bar trick," she said to Andrew, his eyes widening with curiosity. She ran ahead of her friend and his brother to get to the playground first.

When Trevor pulled her back by her shirt, she slowed down. "I don't wanna drop him."

"Okay," Rory said with her exhale. She watched Andrew be put down before taking his hand and walking over to the monkey bars. "You stand here." She guided him over to the short ladder. She climbed up it and grabbed onto the bars.

Andrew clapped his hands together when he saw his friend swing to the middle.

"Cool, huh?" Trevor said, sitting down by his brother to be at his height.

Rory got herself to swing forward a few times, getting her legs to wrap around a bar in front of her. When she was sure her legs were tight enough, so she wouldn't fall, she slowly let her hands slide off the bar she was holding onto. Now she was hanging upside down.

"Me do!" Andrew shouted, tugging on his big brother's hand.

"You're too little, my man," Trevor replied, keeping his eye on Rory. He had a gut feeling something bad was going to happen.

Rory was starting to feel lightheaded, so she grabbed back onto a bar and unwrapped her legs around the other one. But once she let them drop, she lost the grip her hands had. She ended up falling onto the woodchips, her right arm directly under her.

"Fuck!" she screamed, rolling onto her left side to hold her arm. The pain traveling from her wrist up to her elbow made her grit her teeth and close her eyes. She would not cry. No, she would not.

"Come on," Trevor said with a gentle tone. He slid his hands under Rory's upper back and got her into a sitting position. "Keep it cradled to you."

Rory kept her eyes squeezed shut as Trevor helped her stand. When she opened them, she saw a scared Andrew.

"It's okay, buddy. I'm okay," she lied with a forced smile.

"Let's run Andrew home and then go see your mom, okay?"

"Mhm," Rory answered, biting down on her tongue.

…..

Trevor kept his arm around Rory, holding her close because he knew she was in a great amount of pain, but was trying to hide it. He tried to get her to let him check her arm out. Seeing as his dad used to be a doctor, he could usually tell when someone sprained or broke a bone. She wouldn't let him touch her arm, though.

"I would really like to smoke right about now," Rory said through gritted teeth.

"You smoked weed during fourth period. I could smell it on you when you walked by."

"Shut up."

"Shutting up," Trevor smirked, looking up at the floor numbers.

The elevator doors opened to reveal a calm bullpen. Trevor was eager to see what happened in here ever since he learned that Rory's mom was a homicide detective. And now was his chance. Too bad the circumstances were this way, though.

He lead her out of the elevator and slowly scanned the bullpen until his eyes fell on Kate who was looking at a marker board. His stare dropped back onto Rory whose head was now against him. Uh oh.

"Are you alright?" he questioned, trying to hide his panic.

"I'm fine."

"Okay," he replied, guiding her over to Kate.

"Beckett," Castle said, grabbing his partner's attention. When she was looking at him, he pointed behind her.

Kate turned her head to see Rory leaning against her friend Trevor with her right arm cradled to her chest. She set the marker down on the tray and raised an eyebrow in confusion.

Rory tightly shut her eyes and bit down on her lip when she accidentally moved her hurt arm.

"What happened?" Kate questioned, rushing over when she saw the pain across her daughter's face.

"She fell off the monkey bars at the park. Literally right on her arm," Trevor answered, taking his arm off of Rory's waist.

"You alright, kid?" Kate asked, looking Rory in the eyes to find that they weren't staying steadily on her. "Come on." She gently took her daughter by the shoulders and sat her in the chair behind her desk. "Does it hurt?" She cautiously placed her hand on Rory's wrist, slowly pulling it off her bad arm.

"Mom," Rory whispered, squeezing her eyes shut and resting her head on the back of the chair. The pain was way worse without the pressure she had on her arm.

Kate carefully brought Rory's arm so it was straight out. The swelling she was seeing was unbelievable. She couldn't tell if it was broken, but she was definitely bringing Rory to the hospital.

"We have to go to the hospital to get it checked out, okay?"

"No," Rory snapped her eyes open, roughly bringing her arm back to her chest, and regretting it. She stood up and started to walk away, but Trevor blocked her path.

"I have to agree with your mom on this one," he said with a shrug.

"I am not going," Rory growled, glaring at him.

"Yes, you are," Kate said, placing her hands back on her daughter's shoulders. She made her walk into her Captain's office with her.

"Why was she on monkey bars?" Castle asked when the girls walked into the office.

"She wanted to show my little brother something," Trevor answered with a slight shrug. "I had a bad feeling something was going to happen since she's so danger prone."

Castle observed the teen boy in front of him. Trevor cared about Rory, Castle could see it through the boy's green eyes, but he had a feeling Rory didn't know, just like Kate has no clue about his feelings toward her.

"Does she know you like her?" Castle nonchalantly asked while looking at the murder board.

"What?"

"You like her."

"It's that obvious?"

"It is," Castle chuckled to help ease the boy's nerves that he knew were now on end. "I think you should go for it."

"I doubt she feels the same way about me."

"You will never know unless you take that leap. If she doesn't, you shrug it off, or at least try to."

"I think you're right," Trevor agreed, shoving his hands into his pants pockets. He leaned in forward to Castle when he saw the girls coming back toward them. "I think you should take your own advice, though," he whispered, pulling back with a smile.

Castle looked at Trevor with a stunned expression. Was his love for Kate as obvious as this boy's love for Rory? He honestly had no clue if everyone knew it and if he was so obvious that meant Kate knew, right?

"I'm going to take her get this x-rayed," Kate said when she was close enough to Castle and Trevor. "I'm basically carrying her right now. I think the pain is making her dizzy."

"It's possible," Trevor replied. "I could carry her to your car if you want?"

"Sure," Kate answered with a smile. She turned her head toward Castle. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"See you tomorrow," Castle answered.

…..

_"Mom!" Rory screamed, trying to run down the hall after the gurney that held Kate. She was just about to make it through the ER doors until a she was pulled back. "No!" she shrieked, collapsing on the floor to try and stand her ground._

_Lanie rushed over to help Jim get Rory back onto her feet. Rory kept trying to get away from them and run for her mom to make sure she was okay. But she knew she wasn't. All the blood on her clothes indicated that. She eventually let them sit her in one of the chairs.  
><em>

_"Your mom will be okay," Lanie said, trying to calm Rory down, but it was useless. The girl was having trouble breathing. Her chest was rapidly moving up and down as she desperately gasped for air._

_"Relax," Jim whispered into his granddaughter's ear. "It wasn't a crucial stabbing."_

_"Stabbed? She was stabbed?" Rory questioned with a squeak, quickly looking between her grandpa and Lanie._

_Even though Lanie has known Rory for about seven years, it didn't make it any easier to try and calm the ten year old's nerves. If that was her mother that was stabbed and bleeding profusely, she would probably react the exact same way._

_Rory kept glancing at the ER doors, hoping her mom would walk out of them with nothing wrong with her. She knew her mom's job was dangerous - she has seen the bruises, the cuts, and other random marks on her after a case. But never did she think this would happen. Never._

_She slid off the chair, looked down at her feet to find that her Nikes were tied. Her eyes stayed on the ER door for a minute before looking at the exit. She could feel both Lanie and her grandpa's stare on her, wondering what she was doing. And then she ran for the exit._

_"Rory!" Jim yelled, glancing over at Lanie before standing up to run after her. Lanie appeared next to him when he stopped on the sidewalk outside. _

_Rory was already down the road, running blind with fear. Everything in her view was flying by in a blur. This was the only way she knew how to deal with certain things. Run it off._

_She didn't exactly have a destination - she never did. Her normal refuge was out of question because hiding from fear and hiding from trouble, that she caused, was different. _

_The tight feeling in her chest, the muscles in her legs being worked, was what she always aimed for. She needed to feel alive, needed to feel something other than the negativity about her mom being in the hospital, bleeding out._

_She had to stop when her eyes started to fill with warm tears. She was ten years old and running through the streets of NYC by herself. Stupid, yes. But she knew her way around here, knew how to defend herself. Just run. The only thing she was proud of being able to do._

_It was impossible to catch her breath when the tears starting to heavily flow out of her eyes. The idea of losing her mom and not having a dad in the picture made her balance disappear for a second. She had to steady herself against the wall of the building next to her to stay on her feet._

_How could she lose her mom? Yeah, she was yelled at often, but it wasn't too bad. It was out of care, right? And if she was gone, who would care for her like her mom does?  
><em>

_Her breathing finally evened and she squeezed her eyes shut before looking around. She didn't know how far she got or how long she was running. And honestly, she didn't know where she was._

_Time to head back. That's the only idea she could come up with. Walk back in the same direction she thought she came from.  
><em>

_The second she walked back through the sliding doors, she saw Lanie stand up in front of the waiting room chair. Her grandpa was nowhere in sight. Lanie didn't head over right away, she knew when to wait, knew to not rush the girl's thinking strategies._

_"She's in ICU," Lanie said, holding her hand out for Rory to take for some sort of safety. "Come on."_

_Rory pushed her wavy hair behind her ears, blinked away the freshly formed tears that filled her crystal blue eyes, and walked over to Lanie. She took her hand, using a loose hold._

_Lanie was the main reason Rory even made it to her mom's room. And when she walked it, she wanted to run right back out._

_Seeing her mom hooked up to various machines, machines she didn't know the purpose of, which made her even more scared. She hesitantly took a few steps closer to the bed, holding her breath the entire time._

_Then it happened._

_The heart monitor, the only machine she could identify, flatlined. The chaos - the loud noise she heard, the nurses rushing in, making her go out in the hall - paralyzed her. Her heartbeat was in her ears, drumming obnoxiously. Her body wouldn't move - she just stood there, dumbstruck._

_Her mom was dead. And now she was on the floor, curled in a ball, unsure of how she got here. People were speaking to her, she couldn't hear them, she didn't want to. So she shut herself down, didn't let anything make its way to her thoughts. She stayed this way for what felt like hours, holding her legs to her chest and keeping her face in her knees. Hiding._

_Jim knelt down in front of Rory, kissing her forehead. "Your mom is okay," he whispered, smoothing her hair from the crown of her head to her neck. No response, so he said it again. "Your mom is okay, sweetheart. She went into cardiac arrest, but she's okay."_

_Rory could feel another presence next to her, so she turned toward it. Lanie._

_"She's awake. She's asking for you," Lanie said, placing her hand on Rory's arm._

_Rory lifted her head, wiped her wet cheeks, and looked at her mom's room door ahead of her. Before she knew it, she was on her feet and walking through that door._

_Upon seeing Rory, Kate attempted to sit up straighter, but the pain under her right breast held her down. And the tiredness she had didn't exactly help. She kept her eyes on Rory, patiently waiting for her to come forward. But she wasn't._

_"Hey," Kate said, forcing a smile and hoping that would help._

_Rory clenched her fists at her sides, biting down on her bottom lip to stop from crying. Seeing her mom like this hurt. She was only ten, but she wanted to be able to protect the only person that made her feel safe._

_"Rory," Kate whispered. "It's okay."_

_Now Rory was rushing for her mom, carefully wrapping her arms around her neck, fresh tears falling onto the hospital gown. _

_The staggered breathing and crying that came from Rory caused Kate to tightly wrap her arms around her daughter's body. She didn't care about the sharp pain from where she was stabbed. Her little girl needed her._

_"I told you, I will never leave you without putting up a fight," Kate murmured into Rory's ear, placing her hand on the back of her head to hold her daughter closer._

_The two of them stayed like this for quite some time. Rory letting her arms stay wrapped around her mom's neck, holding on for dear life and Kate keeping her daughter there, afraid to let go._

_After awhile, Kate eventually pried Rory off her and helped her onto the bed. She scooted over, letting her small daughter take the extra space. Rory's head nestled against her side just below her armpit. Kate ran her fingers through her daughter's tangled hair._

_"I love you, Mallorie," Kate murmured._

_Rory nodded in agreement, unable to find her words. She lifted her right hand up to find that it was dirty. Confusion swept over her, but quickly retreated when she remembered touching the building while regaining her breath. That's right. She ran out of here earlier._

_"You ran, didn't you?" Kate asked, sliding her fingers under Rory's chin and lifting it up to her. She got a small nod in return. "I really wish you would stop doing that. It scares me knowing that my little girl is in the dangerous streets of the city."_

_"I know," Rory whispered, new tears escaping her eyes. She quickly wiped them away, hoping her mom didn't see._

_Kate rested her cheek on Rory's head. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm here to stay."_

…..

On their way out of the hospital, after the x-rays and talking to the doctor, Rory stopped in her path. She looked up at the sky, closed her eyes, and deeply inhaled. When she opened her eyes back up, her mom was watching her.

"You good?" Kate asked, a little bit of worry behind her question.

Rory remembered her mom telling her that she was not going anywhere. But the memory of almost losing her, in this very hospital, made her never want to return again. It was mainly fear of possibly dying in here that scared her so much. Or the simple fact that her mom _did _die in here. Whatever it was, she was okay now. The fresh air, that didn't smell like disinfectant, assisted with that.

Kate knew what Rory was thinking about, so she patiently waited until her daughter was back at her side. "Does your wrist hurt?" she asked, hoping to make Rory think about something else while leading the way to the car.

"How much morphine did they give me?" Rory questioned as she checked out her black brace.

"Too much," Kate replied, rolling her eyes and placing her hands on Rory's shoulders to get her to move faster. The doctor's made a huge mistake giving Rory morphine, making her feel high. She was trying to get her daughter away from drugs and that intense feeling of euphoria, but nope. Didn't work out that way.

By the time Kate pulled up outside the apartment building, Rory was half asleep against the car window.

"Kid, wake up," Kate said, lightly shaking Rory's body.

"I'm up," Rory replied, opening the car door and trying to get out, but was held down by the seat belt.

Kate chuckled and shook her head. She leaned over and unclipped the seat belt, so her daughter could get out of the car.

Once in the apartment building, Rory headed right to her room, over to her bed, and plopped down on her back to sprawl out. Kate set her keys in the bowl by the door before following her.

"I need to ask you a serious question," she stated, leaning against the door frame of her daughter's room.

"Mkay."

"Are you sexually active?"

Rory put her left hand over her eyes, peering through her fingers at the ceiling. "What does that even _mean_?"

"Don't pull those Juno lines on me. I'm being serious. Are you having sex?"

"I don't have a boyfriend."

"Okay, have you ever had sex?"

"Where is this coming from?"

"Just answer my question."

Rory bit down on her bottom lip, trying to think of a way to avoid this uncomfortable conversation, but nothing came to mind.

"I guess so," she finally answered.

"You _guess_ so?" Kate asked, stepping more into the room, arms folded across her chest.

"What? Do you just want me to tell you that I'm not a virgin?" Rory's eyes widened and she regretted saying that out loud faster than lightning strikes metal. _Shit_.

Kate's mouth went agape and her eyes even wider. Her sixteen year old wasn't a virgin and probably hasn't been for awhile. Just what she wanted to find out right now.

...

_Should it all come crashing down around me?_

_Would you be there?_

_Should I stumble or fall and pick up the pieces?  
><em>

_Bullet For My Valentine - Forever and Always_

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: A little more into Rory's head we go. Thoughts?<strong>  
><em>


	7. Chapter 7

"You're going on the pill," Kate calmly said.

"Seriously? It's not like I'm whoring around!" Rory shot back. That was sort of a lie since she has hooked up with a few guys, but that was only once. Okay, maybe she did it on several occasions with more than a few guys. But it's not like she wasn't careful. Except that one time when she thought she was pregnant…

"Spill," Kate demanded for Rory's thoughts as she tightly folded her arms across her chest.

"I'm tired."

"You can sleep once I end this conversation."

"Or I can fall asleep on you." Rory smiled at the ceiling.

Kate bit down on her bottom lip so hard that she was surprised it didn't bleed. She hated how Rory was always the one to dismiss their talks with silence or something like sleep and school. But since it was obvious her daughter was exhausted, given the amount of morphine she had, she would let this one slide… for now.

"Fine. You can sleep, but when you wake up, we're talking. You're not getting out of this one, kid."

Rory huffed, sitting up against her headboard. "Okay, fine. Talk. Get it over with now, so I can forget it ever happened."

The way her mom walked over to her bed, ready to hurt someone, made her nervous. And to hide this feeling, she fixed her eyes on the Blink 182 poster that was straight ahead.

"Forget it ever happened? Are you kidding me right now?" Kate hissed, narrowing her eyes at her daughter who slightly shrugged. "Do you _want _to end up pregnant in high school?"

"You did."

"That is _so_ not the point, Mallorie. You just turned sixteen a few months ago. You can't remember to take your medications let alone feed yourself. How would you take care of a baby?"

"Mom! You act like I'm gonna get preggo. It's not like I sleep around. It was like a few times. Big freakin' deal."

"Recently?"

Rory slightly tilted her head to the side, trying to figure out if this was a trick question. She hated getting questions that involved a trap. And her mom was really good at planting them. Looked like silence was going to be her reply.

After a few moments, Kate spoke up again. "How many times did this happen while you were high?"

"Never."

Kate glared into Rory's bright blue eyes. She was lying.

"This is why you're going on the pill. You party behind my back, get high, get drunk, and probably have sex with someone while under the influence." She paused, waiting for a response, but didn't get one. "You would be unaware of what's going on around you. For Christ's sake, Mallorie, how do you know if whoever you had sex with was wearing a condom while under the influence?"

"I'm not preggo," Rory answered with a laugh and quickly regretted it when she got her mom's death glare. She pursed her lips and looked up at the ceiling.

"You think you're funny?" Kate questioned through gritted teeth.

"You gotta admit that was pretty funny."

Kate put her clenched fist in front of her mouth, holding her lips with her thumb and pointer finger. Every single time she had a serious conversation with Rory, it felt as if everything was going in one ear and right out the other. The carelessness that Rory expressed was incredibly frightening. She's afraid that one-day something horrible is going to happen, worse than the sprained wrist.

"I'm going to call the doctor to set up an appointment for you to get checked and go on the pill." Kate held up her hand as Rory's mouth opened. "I will make sure you take it everyday."

"I'm gonna get fatter."

Kate's eyes widened. "Rory, you are not fat!"

"Well, yeah. I will be when I go on the pill, though."

"No, you won't gain a too much weight. And the way you eat and never sit still, I doubt you will even gain a pound. You're just thinking about the shot. But anyway-" Kate got off the bed and walked over to the door. "-you should sleep the morphine off. Come find me if your wrist starts to hurt."

Rory threw her hands over her face. She really needed to learn how to keep her mouth shut.

…..

After two hours of sleep, Rory finally woke up to find herself at the opposite end of her bed. Taking a nap, or sleeping in general, while under the influence of drugs always made her do strange things. A couple months ago she actually woke up under her bed, which made her insanely confused. But when she figured it out, she felt more like an idiot than anything. This was also the night that her mom thought she snuck out and when she walked into the living room, it looked like her mom saw a ghost. Pretty funny stuff.

She rolled onto her stomach and pushed herself onto her knees. This action caused her wrist to hurt so much that it could have made her cry. She lifted her right arm up to find a brace on it. No wonder it felt weird. Without thinking twice about it, she pulled the Velcro apart and took it off. And now it hurt even more, but she didn't want that stupid thing on. It was way too tight, making her arm feel like it would explode.

_Come find me if your wrist starts to hurt._

Must mean that her mom had strong painkillers. Score.

When Rory walked into the hallway, she was met with the smell of her mom's homemade mac and cheese.

This evening was just getting better and better, wasn't it?

She walked to the kitchen, involuntarily swinging her arm in the process. She had to hold it to her chest with a lot of pressure to decrease the pain.

"You're up," Kate said after seeing her daughter out of the corner of her eye.

"Wrist hurts," Rory replied, holding her arm up and biting her tongue.

Kate glanced at the timer on the stove to see she still had a minute before having to take the mac and cheese out. She slowly turned toward Rory. When she saw that her daughter didn't have the brace on her wrist, she sighed.

"You have to keep the brace on."

"My hand was turning blue, though."

"It needs to heal right. Go get the brace."

"I want the food first," Rory said with a big smile.

"Go. Get. The. Brace."

"Okay, okay."

Rory walked back into her room and grabbed the brace off her bed. She put it back on, but not as tight as it was before. Just as she was about to walk back to the kitchen, she heard her ringtone.

It took her a few minutes to locate her phone that was under her pillow. Once she did, she quickly accepted the call it when she saw it was Trevor.

"Hey," she answered.

"You good?"

"It hurts like a bitch."

Trevor laughed. "I bet."

"So what's up?"

"Can you hang tonight?"

"Doubt it. But I can ask or leave when she goes to sleep or something. What will we be doing?"

"Just hangin'. Maybe see a movie?"

Rory stopped walking around her room. Was he asking her on a date?

"I mean if you want," Trevor spit out as fast as possible.

"Is this a date?"

A pause.

"Would you want it to be?" Trevor nervously asked.

Rory liked Trevor, maybe more than she liked Kieran before. But given her ability to never stay with someone without messing things up, she didn't want to ruin their friendship. Then again… he was the most attractive boy in school that cared about her and he knew where to get premium dope.

"You don't care if I was with other guys before?" she asked, sitting on her bed to get more comfortable.

"It's not like I haven't been with other girls. They never meant anything, just a fun time. But I really like you, Rory. Probably have for a long time now."

Rory bit down on her bottom lip. Relationships weren't her thing. Hell, she couldn't even maintain a good one with her own mom. How does Trevor expect her to with him?

"It was a stupid idea," Trevor mumbled on the other line.

"No, it wasn't. I like you too. I'll go to the movies if I can."

"Really?"

"What time?"

"8ish sound good?"

"I'll text you if I can or not."

"I'll be looking forward to that," Trevor said, his smile noticeable through the phone.

"Bye," Rory said, pulling the phone away from her ear. She had a feeling her mom was _not_ going to let her go out tonight.

Kate walked down the hall and into Rory's bedroom to find her sitting on the bed, phone in one hand.

"Dinner's done," she announced, watching her daughter slide off the bed. She could see how loose the brace was on her arm. "Really?"

"What?"

"Come here," Kate said. When Rory was in front of her, she gently held onto her wrist and pulled the straps tighter than they were. "It has to stay tight."

Rory winced when her mom let go of her wrist and it fell to her side.

"The doctor gave me painkillers for you. You can take one now and one before bed."

"Cool." Rory followed her mom into the hall. "Can I go to the movies with Trevor?"

Kate sighed, turning on her heel. "You can, but you have until 10:30 to get back home. It's a school night."

Rory smiled and held her phone up to text Trevor.

"No funny business either, Rory."

"Got it."

Or did she?

…..

Castle just walked out of Starbucks on West 42nd Street to see Rory with that Trevor kid. He watched them walk a bit and before he knew it, he was following them. He didn't know if it was out of morbid curiosity or the fact that something was off by the way the two teens were walking.

He had to hide behind a lamppost when they stopped closest to the buildings on their right. Rory flicked a lighter and lit up a cigarette. How does Kate let her smoke? Then again, she probably tried to get Rory to stop and failed in the process.

Once Rory and Trevor started to walk again, Castle had to rush forward because he wasn't paying attention. And now he was close enough to hear their conversation.

"I'm totally fucked," Rory said with a laugh, falling into Trevor's side. His arm wrapped around her as he laughed too.

"How are we supposed to be quiet in the theater or not buy every piece of candy?" Trevor questioned while looking behind him. His eyebrows rose when he saw Castle. He quickly turned back around. "Your mom's shadow is behind us."

"You've got to be fucking kidding me." Rory sighed, but then grinned. "Wanna mess with him?" she questioned in a whisper.

"Mess with him how?"

"Follow my lead," Rory said, bringing the cigarette back to her mouth. She spoke with her exhale of smoke. "Wanna skip the movie? Go back to your place?"

Castle's eyes widened at the way Rory spoke to Trevor. It was almost a deep, seductive tone that she used, kind of like the ones Kate would tease him with. And she was only sixteen! He had to text Kate and let her know now.

Trevor slid the tips of his fingers under the bottom of Rory's shirt on her side. "As much as I'd like that, my mom is home. Can't go there stoned out my mind."

"My mom is home too, so that's out of the question…"

"Let's just watch the movie. We can hang this weekend. My mom and brother are going out of town to visit one of my aunts. She told me I didn't have to go if I didn't want to," Trevor excitedly said, trying not to laugh at the same time.

"Looks like I'm telling my mom that I'm sleeping at Hayley's this weekend. Oh, and you should throw a small party," Rory said with a smile.

"Maybe. As long as Tony doesn't invite a shit ton of people, I don't see why not," Trevor replied with a simple shrug. "But it's a maybe."

"Fine," Rory huffed. "Let's watch this movie."

Castle watched the two teens enter the AMC movie theater. He looked back down at his phone and sent the text he was typing.

_I think your daughter is high and I think she's dating her friend Trevor now._

Within seconds he got a reply.

_Castle why are you following my kid?_

As he was about to start typing his response, Kate's name came on the screen. He answered the call and held his phone to his ear.

"Are you stalking my daughter?"

"No! I walked out of Starbucks the moment she walked by with her friend," he nervously answered.

"Mm. Okay. Explain your text."

"I decided to follow them out of pure curiosity. Did you know your daughter smokes cigarettes?"

Kate sighed and rolled her eyes even though he couldn't see. "Sadly, I do know that. I've never _seen _her do it, but I know she does. But keep explaining."

"Okay. I think they're high because they mentioned feeling, uh, fucked. And the way Trevor had his arm around her, hand slightly up her shirt on the side… This is just a guess though."

"He what?"

"Uh, hand sort of up the side of her shirt. Kind of?"

"And you think that's her boyfriend?"

"Well, I'm not sure, but the way they were walking together and the way… Excuse me," Castle said to a stranger that he almost ran into. "Can I come to your place and explain? I can't talk on the phone and walk around without running into people."

Kate let out a loud laugh. She could see him running into everyone, causing them to get annoyed. "Sure, you can come over. But just for a little while. I want to take a warm bath while she's out."

"On my way," Castle replied, walking in the direction of her apartment.

Once he arrived, the doorman let him in and he walked over to the elevator. He pushed the up button and patiently waited. The elevator doors slid open and he stepped inside, automatically hitting Kate's floor.

How could Rory talk like that to a boy when she was only sixteen? For all he knew, Alexis didn't even do that with Ashley, but he didn't know everything. And he definitely didn't want to know. Sometimes ignorance was bliss.

He watched the floor numbers increase and stood closer to the elevator doors when Kate's was nearing. When they opened, he walked out and down the hall.

He only had to knock twice before the door swung open. Kate greeted him with a warm smile. At times, he was tempted to just pull her in and kiss her and admit all his love, but that would be overstepping and he didn't know if she felt the same.

"So tell me everything," Kate said, stepping out of the way to let Castle inside the apartment.

"Should I start with what they were talking about or how they were acting?"

"What they were talking about."

…..

Entering the elevator took a long time for Rory. She was beyond high right now that she felt like she was walking extremely slow.

Once she looked at the numbers for the building's floors, she had to fight the urge to run her hands down all of them. It took a lot of willpower, but she hit the correct floor.

The elevator doors slid open at the correct floor and she stepped out. She headed toward her apartment and took her key out of her back pocket. Unlocking the door proved to be difficult because her eyes couldn't focus on the handle.

"Fuckin' piece of-" she stopped herself short when the door opened. She looked up to see her mom. Oh crap.

"Where the hell have you been? I said 10:30, not 12:30," Kate said, making it obvious that she was enraged.

Rory shrugged because she had a feeling that any attempt to form a coherent sentence would end in failure. At least not while she was blazed.

She walked past her mom and headed to her room. The sound of the door slamming shut made her come to a standstill. For some strange reason, her heart started to quicken when she heard her mom's angry steps making their way after her. She wanted to run, but she couldn't find the ability to do so.

"You're high off heroin, aren't you?" Kate growled from behind Rory, arms tightly folded across her chest.

"No," Rory monotonously answered. She narrowed her eyes at the hallway and finally started walking toward it. It was her mom's grasp on her shoulder that stopped her.

"You think I don't know what the smell you're carrying is? Do you really think I'm that stupid?"

"I smell like my perfume."

Kate spun Rory around to face her. "The hell you do! You smell like vinegar or something sour. And I'm almost certain that it's heroin."

Rory made popping noises with her mouth, looking up at her mom with a smirk.

Kate raised her hand then quickly clenched it into a fist. She hesitantly dropped it back to her side. As much as she wanted to smack that smile off her daughter's face, she wouldn't and couldn't.

"Go ahead. Hit me," Rory murmured with an uncanny tone.

Kate held her daughter's chin with her fingers and glared down at her. "I will not hit you, ever. But I'm thinking about making you go back to see a psychiatrist."

The way Rory pulled back from her mom almost made her fall over. She was not going to talk to a shrink. If the way she thought ever surfaced, she would probably be locked up for sure. And that won't happen, not on her watch.

"Since you won't tell me what's going through your head on a daily basis, maybe a psychiatrist can get it out of you," Kate said with a frown. "I know something's up, Mallorie. I may not be around you at every second of everyday, but I know that you're acting strangely."

"Acting strangely?" Rory couldn't help but laugh.

"Mhm. You're not that normal, energetic, happy girl I'm used to seeing."

"Yeah, okay." Rory rolled her eyes and turned around, heading for her room. She was so ready to sleep. But the sound of her mom following her, told her that sleep wasn't going to happen too soon.

"Is Trevor your boyfriend?"

"Psh, no." Rory squeaked, trying to hold in her laughter. It was a lie. Trevor actually asked her to be his girlfriend before he walked her home. And he kissed her, which was probably the most spark she has ever had in a kiss. Quite addicting.

"My gut says otherwise." No reply. "He seems like a decent kid besides you getting high with him."

"He is decent," Rory responded with a smile, crawling into her bed.

"I want to meet him without you being drunk or hiding him in your room."

Rory held her pillow over her face. "Fine."

"Tomorrow after I get out of work."

"_Okay._"

Kate started to head out of Rory's bedroom. She stopped in the doorway and leaned against the frame. "You think you had little freedom now, wait until tomorrow and the days after that. You shouldn't have taken it for granted."

…..

After school the next day, Rory waited on the curb for Trevor to come out. She was flipping her lighter with her fingers, thinking. Could she trust him with her inner thoughts that she has never voiced before? Probably not. He'd most likely run to her mom and spill her secrets.

She sighed and looked up at the sky. The buildings were, of course, in the way to see it fully. Sometimes she really hated living in the city and wanted to go to the country and see more than twenty stars in the night sky.

"Don't think too hard, you might explode," Trevor said as he sat down on the curb. He put his arm around Rory's waist and pulled her closer.

"Do you know anyone that lives in the outskirts of the city… away from all these lights and buildings?"

"Uh, my cool uncle lives about two hours from here. Why?"

"Can we go there? I want to look at the clouds without buildings blocking my view."

"Sure. We can go," Trevor replied with a smile. He pulled Rory closer and kissed the top of her head. "You okay?"

"I'm good."

"My mom will let me borrow the car since I haven't asked for it in… weeks."

"Sweet."

Trevor stood up and pulled Rory onto her feet. They walked hand in hand down the sidewalk, Rory lighting up one of his cigarettes. He could sense something was wrong, but he didn't want to push. Prying with Rory always ended up bad – he learned that the hard way.

It didn't take them long to arrive to his apartment building in lower Manhattan. The doorman smiled when he saw Trevor.

"My favorite man," the older guy named Stan said.

"How's it going, Stan?" Trevor asked as he waited for Rory to put out the cigarette.

"Not too bad. Interesting topics in the newspaper today."

"Like what?"

"Something about Detective… What was her name? Oh, Detective Beckett. She caught the man that killed one of the best lawyers in the city."

"Detective Beckett, huh?" Trevor asked with a snort, turning toward Rory to see her glare. He placed his arm around her shoulders. "This is Detective Beckett's daughter. Beautiful, ain't she?"

"Indeed, young Trevor," Stan replied, opening the door for the two teens. "I'm betting you're a handful," he said to Rory.

"You have no idea," Rory said with a deep tone.

Trevor raised his eyebrows with a big smile. "See you, Stan."

By the time Trevor got the car keys and spent a few minutes with his little brother, it was a little past 3 o'clock.

They were in the car when Rory decided to turn her phone off because she really didn't want to talk to her mom right now or ever. But that wasn't possible, was it?

…..

The gang was sitting in the break room, eating lunch even though it was well past 3 pm. Better late than never was always their motto.

Kate was busy eating her fries when Castle opened an app on his phone. The music indicated that he was playing Cut the Rope, a game he got her addicted to. It was seriously frustrating just like Angry Birds, but getting through the challenges were always worth it when you succeeded.

Watching him play made her want to play a game on her phone, so she unlocked it without looking and just as she was about to choose a game, she saw the time.

Her dad said he couldn't pick up Rory today and here she was sitting in the break room, eating when she should have picked her daughter up. But she did mention to Rory that she had to come here after school if nobody picked her up, but it was way over an hour after the high school is normally dismissed.

Instead of opening up a game, she selected the tracking app. When it loaded, nothing appeared on the map. Rory's phone must be off.

"Ryan, is it possible to track a phone that's turned off?" Kate asked, dialing Rory's number to find that it was indeed off.

"No. Why?" Ryan questioned, taking a sip of his soda.

"You can always try tracking her by her last tweet, or maybe status update," Castle said without taking his eyes off of his phone.

"Her phone is off and she's supposed to come here after school," Kate answered Ryan with a frown. "I can't win with her. And you can do that?" she asked, looking over at Castle and getting a nod.

"Is she with that Trevor kid?" Castle asked, exiting out of Cut the Rope to pay more attention.

"Probably," Kate answered, going through her contacts since she added Trevor's number when they last traced his phone.

"I can track his if it's on. I'll need the number, though." Ryan slid the chair back to get up. He grabbed his soda and waited for Kate to write down Trevor's number. He took the piece of paper and headed out of the break room.

"I think he should just become a tracker. He finds it way too exciting," Esposito teased with his mouth full of fries.

"He's fast," Castle said, siding with Ryan.

Fifteen minutes later, Ryan had a trace. "He's in Bristol."

"Makes Rory's last tweet make sense," Kate said, leaning down to view the computer screen. "Wait. Bristol? Isn't that two hours away?"

"Something like that," Esposito said, sitting down in his chair.

Kate closed her eyes and bit down on her bottom lip. She has to travel two hours to grab her daughter? This is getting ridiculously out of control.

She let out a desperate sigh. "Let me go talk to the Captain."

When she walked out of the Captain's office, Castle was standing by the door.

"All clear?" he asked.

"I just have to come in Saturday morning to finish the paperwork. Shouldn't take me more than a few hours," Kate answered, already in front of her desk. She grabbed her keys and headed for the elevator.

"Want company?" Castle questioned, rushing to walk next to her.

"I really don't care."

The hostility in Kate's answer almost made Castle not want to go, but Rory really intrigued him because he has never seen a teenager act like her before.

Kate stepped into the elevator and turned back towards Castle. "You coming?"

…..

Two hours later, Kate was parking the car across the house from the address Ryan gave her. She leaned forward and turned off the annoying GPS since it kept telling her that she was at her location.

The house was medium size with two stories. It had a nice yard, everything looked trimmed and there were flowers along the sides of the house. She couldn't quite tell if the color was brown or green, so she just went with brown.

"I'll be right back," she announced, unbuckling herself to get out of the car.

As she walked up the sidewalk to the front door, she heard Rory's voice. It sounded like she was outside, so Kate decided to head around back.

She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Rory and Trevor jumping on a trampoline together. This was too amusing to interrupt, so she silently watched for a second.

Trevor picked up Rory by her stomach and gently tackled her. He stood up on his knees, grinning down at the now smiling Rory. Since she wasn't sitting up anytime soon, he climbed over her. His hands held onto hers, which were situated near her head, as he leaned down to kiss her.

Rory's legs wrapped around his waist as she pulled her hands out from below Trevor's. She ran the hand, that didn't have the annoying brace on it, through his hair.

Kate has seen enough now. "Mallorie, what the hell are you doing?" she furiously asked, walking over to the trampoline. She had to fight the urge to laugh when Trevor basically flew off Rory at the sound of her voice. She made him nervous and that was good.

"Jesus fucking Christ," Rory mumbled with her good hand over her eyes.

"Let's go," Kate demanded full of rage.

Rory slowly sat up and looked down at her hands placed in her lap. She glanced over at Trevor then at her mom. She did not want to leave yet, but it looked like she was going to have to.

She sighed, stood up, and walked over to the edge of the trampoline. She hopped down to grab her shoes off the grass. Putting them on took too long since the laces were tangled and she could tell this annoyed her mom. Good.

Kate put her hand on Rory's shoulder to guide her to the front of the house. It didn't last long because Rory ducked out of her grasp, creating a small distance between them.

When Rory saw who was in the car, she turned around, and started to walk back.

"I don't think so," Kate said, grabbing Rory's bicep. She literally had to drag her daughter to the car. She didn't understand why she hated Castle when she didn't even know him.

Rory flung the back door open and slid in, staying on the passenger's side, so she wouldn't have to see her mom's shadow. She slammed the door shut and noticed that Castle jumped a little. An immoral smile crept its away across her face, but when her mom got in the car, it disappeared.

"All set?" Kate asked aloud.

"All set," Castle replied with a smile.

Kate turned around to see why Rory was so quiet since it was definitely not normal. "Rory, are you alright?"

Rory kept her head against the cool glass. Thank god her mom had the audacity to turn the air conditioner on since it was starting to get hot out, but then again it was probably Castle that turned it on.

Castle looked over at his partner with a questionable look. He smiled when Kate placed her hand up to silence him even though he didn't exactly speak.

"Rory, are you okay?" Kate tried again.

If she were to answer no, she would get bombarded with questions. Then the way her mind worked or at least thought would be out. She couldn't let that happen because these were the kinds of thoughts that got you locked in a loony bin – or at least she thought so.

Kate unbuckled her seat belt and reached back to turn Rory's head toward her. "What's up?"

Rory pushed her mom's arm away from her and continued to look out the window. She was not showing her cards, ever, and definitely not with Castle around. Instead, she would just stared out the window and acted like nothing was bothering her.

She didn't know why these thoughts came back now. It's not like anything has changed… except dating Trevor. He couldn't really be the reason, could he? They were only together for less than a day and her wall has already started to crumble down.

She needed to build that wall back up before anything else happened.

...

_"Can't you see that you're smothering me,_

_Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control?_

_'Cause everything that you thought I would be,_

_Has fallen apart right in front of you._

_Every step that I take is another mistake to you._

_And every second I waste is more than I can take."_

_Linkin Park - Numb  
><em>

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: Thoughts?<strong>_


	8. Chapter 8

They've been home for a couple hours and Rory has been in the shower for one of them. She couldn't bear to talk to her mom or even look at her. Instead, she stayed curled in a ball under the water. Thankfully the sound of the shower muted her cries.

She was slowly breaking and she didn't like it.

She smoothed the hair that has fallen in her face back and held it on her neck. She hated living in the city. Yeah, it had many places to go, but she wanted wide open space, a backyard, the ability to view a million stars in the night sky. And it probably won't happen until she moves out because of her mom's job.

When she sniffed to try and get rid of the stuffiness she now had, she got a burning sensation like she inhaled water. She rubbed her nose and eyes then held her hand out in front of her. Looked like most of her eyeliner and mascara was off. And since the water was starting to get cold, she stood up, and turned it off. Her forehead rested against the wall, the air made her wet body cold.

Why did she always feel useless? She honestly wasn't good at anything except running.

Kate knocked on the bathroom door for the eighth time. Rory being in the shower for this long made her worried. Definitely since the moment they walked in the apartment, she went into her bedroom then directly to the bathroom, not saying a word.

As much as she liked silence, she really wanted Rory to talk to her, tell her what's going on. It's not like Kate was a mind reader. Yeah, she could make educated guesses, but her daughter's odd behavior made it difficult.

Kate leaned against the wall next to the bathroom door to wait.

When Rory walked out, she was dressed in the same clothes she was wearing earlier. She also had lines of mascara down her face like she has been crying, but it was most likely from the shower.

Kate watched how Rory kept drying the ends of her now curly hair as she walked into her bedroom. She followed her and leaned against the door frame.

"You okay?"

"Yeah," Rory murmured, looking in the mirror to see that there was still makeup on her face. She quickly used the towel to get rid of it. Once she looked back in the mirror, she had to squeeze her eyes shut and press her fingers in them. The image she just saw scared her to death.

"Are you sure that you're okay?" Kate asked, walking up behind Rory who still had her eyes closed.

"I have a headache," Rory lied, slowly removing her fingers from over her eyes.

Kate ran her fingers through Rory's wet hair. "Do you want anything to eat?"

Rory shook her head then looked back down at the floor.

"If anything is bothering you, you can tell me. You know that, right?" Kate got a nod in return. She wrapped her arms around Rory and pulled her in for a backwards hug. "I love you, kid."

"Yeah," Rory whispered, pulling away from her mom to climb into bed.

"You should probably change before you sleep."

"Okay."

Kate watched her daughter stare at the ceiling. Something was going through her head, but she didn't know what it was. Hopefully it wasn't anything too bad.

Before Kate walked out of Rory's bedroom, she made sure the alarm clock was set since it hasn't been going off for the past few days. Waking her daughter up on her own was really hard.

She turned the light off before stepping into the hall and heading to her own room. As she was taking her necklace off, she looked down at her mother's wedding ring.

Johanna would know what's going on with Rory. She would only need five minutes with the girl to come up with some sort of conclusion. Reading people was one of the many things she was good at. Kate inherited this from her, but when it came to Rory, the girl was impossible to read.

Kate slowly changed into shorts and a large t-shirt before crawling into bed. She wanted to read first, but she was exhausted, so she laid down and came up with random reasons why Rory would be acting the way she was.

Since the appointment she set up for the psychiatrist wasn't for a couple of weeks, it looked like she would have to hold the fort until that day came. Maybe Rory would be able to talk to someone that knew nothing about her lifestyle, therefore they wouldn't judge. But knowing how her daughter is super secretive it was highly unlikely that would happen.

Kate let out a small sigh. She was worried about her daughter more than she was frustrated. And since Rory won't tell her what's going on, she had to bear with her until she found out.

…..

The next day after Rory's second final, she walked to Central Park with Hayley. They wandered down random paths in silence until they were both sweating extremely bad from the summer heat. When they found a bench under some shade, they sat down.

Rory threw her pencil into the grass and leaned against the bench. She pulled a plastic bag out of her front pocket, clutching onto it for dear life.

Hayley looked down at her friend. "You really should stop."

"I can't," Rory whispered, opening the bag for it to be snatched out of her hand.

"I did. I believe you can too."

Rory clenched her hands into fists, fighting the mumbling she now heard. She didn't want to hit Hayley and show her how weak she was.

"This is different," she finally said through gritted teeth.

"How?"

"I need them to shut everything up!" Rory brought her fingers to her temples, vigorously rubbing them.

"Just one then," Hayley gave in, handing her friend a pill.

Rory eyed the pill in her friend's hand. One wouldn't do much except silence her thoughts for about fifteen minutes. She needed three or four.

"Do you still drink?" she asked.

"Sometimes," Hayley answered, confused.

"Want some now?"

"Uh, sure. Not a lot to get drunk, though."

Rory quickly pulled her phone out and texted Tony. Within seconds, she got a reply saying that he was already in Central Park with two bottles and weed in his bag. He just had to make sure to save one bottle for his small party tonight.

"I really don't like Tony," Hayley said when she saw who Rory texted.

"He's annoying, but helpful," Rory replied, looking around for any sign of Tony. When she saw him searching from them, she stood up and waved her arms. He ran over as soon as he spotted them.

"Vodka or Rum?" he asked, taking his backpack off his shoulder.

Rory looked over at Hayley who was staring in her lap then back at Tony. "Vodka."

Tony set the bag on the ground and unzipped it. He pulled out three plastic cups and handed them to his friends. Next, he nervously looked around to make sure nobody was watching before he opened the liquor bottle. He poured more in his and Rory's cup since he knew Hayley wasn't into this stuff anymore.

"Cheers," he held up his cup.

"We're drinking it straight?" Hayley asked, looking in her own.

"Why not?" Tony questioned, still holding his cup in the air.

Rory tapped hers with his and quickly drank the vodka. She got the normal shiver people usually get when taking a shot, before holding the cup out to him again.

Hayley took her small shot and handed Tony the cup back. "I'm good."

"More for me and Rory," Tony said with a smile, pouring more into Rory's cup.

By the time they were halfway through the bottle, Tony and Rory were pretty drunk. They both ended up laying under the tree to watch the weird shaped clouds float through the leaves.

Hayley stayed the entire time to keep an eye on Rory because she didn't trust her lately. There was something off about how her friend acted. It was almost like she was antisocial since she was so quiet all the time, which was not at all normal.

She sat down by Rory who looked up at her with a smile. "Why do you do these things?" she asked only loud enough for her to hear.

Rory slowly closed her eyes and opened them back up. She couldn't tell the truth, so she came up with a lie that would actually make sense. "'Cause my mom is never around. I get worried she might get shot or something. And I don't know who my dad is, which makes everything so sucky."

"Why don't you ask? I mean, it can't be that bad," Hayley responded, pulling at the blades of grass to avoid eye contact with her friend.

"I never thought about that…" Rory slowly sat up at looked over at Hayley. "I should ask."

"I don't see why not."

"Ask what?" Tony questioned, sitting up only to lay back down.

"Who my dad is," Rory answered, biting down on her fingernails from her nerves being a little on end.

"Maybe he's some rich guy who can give you loads of money for weed," Tony said with a laugh.

Rory playfully slapped him upside the head. "Only you would wish that."

"Or maybe he died like Trevor's dad."

This time Rory actually slapped Tony across the face.

"What was that for?" Tony yelled, sitting up to look Rory in the eye.

"That's not even funny," Rory growled.

"No, it's not," Hayley agreed, getting a death glare from Tony.

"Do you guys remember how depressed he was when his dad passed?" Tony asked, looking up at the sky to avoid any kind of stares he would be receiving.

"Wouldn't you be?" Hayley shot back.

"Nah. I stopped caring about my dad when he started to hit me."

Rory shook her head and stood up. She's heard enough. She hated when Tony lied about stuff like this. And most of the time it was for attention.

"I'm going to go ask my mom who my dad is," Rory announced, heading toward the 12th precinct. "I'll see you guys later," she waved without turning around.

"You're such an ass," Hayley shoved Tony, so he would fall on the ground. She got herself on her feet before running after Rory. "Call me after, okay?" she spoke when next to her friend.

"Yeah, sure," Rory distantly replied, trying to figure out what to say in her question for her mom.

…..

Walking into the precinct felt really eerie to Rory. She didn't know why she had this feeling because it has never happened before and when she was waiting in the elevator it felt like someone or something was after her. How did the alcohol not block this thought out like normal?

She exited the elevator to find Alexis Castle standing near her mom's desk with her dad. Ugh. That annoying goody goody was here. Just what she wanted when she was about to ask her mom who her dad was.

While she waited next to the elevator for her heart rate to calm down from being anxious, she watched Castle walk to the break room. From here, she could see her mom making a cup of coffee. Her eyes traveled back to Alexis who patiently stood a few feet from her mom's desk.

She decided to walk over to Alexis and ask why she was here, out of curiosity, not to be rude or anything. Besides, it wasn't Alexis who messed with her and Kieran's relationship. She knew that.

"Hey," Rory said, putting her hand on her mom's desk to steady herself. Maybe she had too much to drink at the park. It was a little too late now.

Alexis slowly turned toward Rory. "Hey."

"What's goin' on?"

"I felt like visiting my dad," Alexis answered with a slight shrug. "I haven't seen him in awhile."

"He lives with you…"

"Yeah, but he's been coming home late, when I'm already asleep."

"Oh." Rory looked over at the break room. She wished she had a dad that didn't have a life threatening job. She wanted to be close with her mom, but it was impossible. Maybe if she found out who her dad was, she could track him down.

Just as she got into further thought about who her dad was, that stupid, scary, mumbling voice she had, came. Normally it was hard to understand, but right now, it was telling her to march in the break room and demand for answers. Usually it told her to do bad things like smoke, drink, and in middle school it told her to fight.

For years she buried it. It has been years since it spoke up again. Why was it doing it now?

"Are you okay?" Alexis asked, concerned over the fact that Rory seemed to be in another world. Alexis didn't get a reply, so she gently placed her hand on Rory's wrist for comfort.

Rory's heart started to race again. The commands she was getting were hard to shut up and the only way to get rid of them was to listen.

Before she knew it, her left fist connected with Alexis' nose, knocking the eighteen year old on the ground. But it didn't stop the words that nobody else could hear except her. She needed to silence them, make them shut the fuck up. So she obeyed. She kept hitting Alexis even when she heard some man, probably Ryan or Esposito, yelling and Alexis' arms blocked her punches.

Seconds after the man yelled, she could hear her mom screaming at her to stop, but she couldn't. The voice wasn't gone yet. Just a few more…

Getting Rory off Alexis proved to be a hard task. Never has Kate seen Rory do this, never. She had to curl her arms under Rory's armpits and literally pick her up, but Rory fought against her. Luckily Kate had a much greater strength than her daughter, so she dragged her many feet from Alexis.

Once Rory stopped trying to escape Kate's hold, she let the girl free, standing between the space from her and Alexis.

"What the fuck, Mallorie?" Kate questioned in a deep, throttled voice. She leaned her head down to her daughter, smelling the alcohol. "You're drunk." She pinched the bridge of her nose before squeezing her eyes shut.

When she opened them, Rory was busy staring ahead at Alexis, a blank look throughout her stare. This made Kate more uneasy than the fact her daughter just lost control and was drunk it at her work place.

She lifted Rory's chin with her finger to look her in the eyes. Her daughter was looking at her, but Kate wasn't sure that she was exactly seeing.

"Mallorie?"

No response.

"Beckett, I think she broke her nose, but I can't tell. Do you know how to?" Castle ask nervously, kneeling by Alexis with a huge handful of tissues.

Kate glanced over at Castle, giving him a quick nod before she turned back towards Rory.

"Stay," Kate commanded as she walked backwards, making sure Rory wouldn't take off. When she was positive her daughter would still be there, she turned around completely.

Rory watched her mom kneel down by Alexis. She watched as she gently turned Alexis' head toward her. And she could have sworn Alexis gave her a slight smirk.

_She's taking her away from you!_

Rory hit the side of her head, which didn't help make the voice go away. Instead she slowly walked forward, not getting anyone's attention since it was all on Alexis and her mom. She pushed everything off her mom's desk and grabbed the chair beside it, throwing it into one of the windows nearby.

Everything was silent now. Rory kept her hands over her ears, afraid that if she took them off, that the voice would come back.

It was her mom's heels, making their way over to her, which snapped her out of her thoughts. She stared at the glass on the ground. She did that?

Rory turned her head toward her mom who was now several feet away. Before her mind could tell her what to do, she ran. And since her mind was still not completely back in reality, she wasn't going as fast as she knew she could. Just as she was about to go through the door to the stairs, she was grabbed.

Now she was crying for some strange reason. Everything she has been doing lately made no sense or was caused by anything.

Her body collapsed, but her mom's arms stayed around her, giving her some sort of support. She didn't want her mom to hold her, she wanted to run – no, needed to run.

"Let me go," Rory said through her cries, struggling to get out of her mom's hold.

"I can't do that, Mallorie, not when you're like this. Something's going on with you, and I can't let you run from me," Kate whispered into her daughter's ear. She kissed the side of her head and kept holding her close.

"Please," Rory pleaded, arching her back in hope that this would help her escape, but it didn't work. Her mom was a thousand times stronger than her.

Kate kept her cheek against the top of Rory's head. She looked up to see Castle and Alexis watching them. Both of the Castles had a worried look on their faces, even Alexis who was just punched in the face several times.

After what seemed like forever, Rory finally relaxed. Kate loosened her arms around her daughter's body, but kept them in place her just in case.

"I'm calling the psychiatrist right when we go home to make an appointment this week," Kate murmured, only loud enough for Rory to hear.

…..

"Rory, come out of the bathroom," Kate commanded, trying to hide the panic she now had. Her daughter has been in there for twenty minutes. The toilet was already flushed once, yet she was still in there. Yeah, she yelled at her for hitting Alexis, but she didn't need to hide in the bathroom.

Just as she was about to pound on the door again, it flung open.

"What were you doing in there?"

Rory's stare stayed toward the ground.

Kate tilted her head to the side, bending down to look into her daughter's eyes. They had the same blank appearance like she saw in the precinct earlier, which she still couldn't believe what happened there. She didn't know why it happened either. And since Rory wasn't speaking, it looked like she wasn't going to find out.

"Are you alright?" Kate questioned, pushing the hair away from Rory's forehead to place her hand there. "You're not warm, but you are sweating." She was about to ask why until she had a feeling it was withdrawals. "Is that why you punched Alexis? You were agitated?"

No response. Rory slowly lifted her eyes up to her mom. She didn't know why, but her eyes started to tear up.

"Oh, Rory," Kate whispered, pulling her daughter into her arms. "What's going on with you?"

"Make it stop," Rory mumbled into her mom's shirt.

"Make what stop?" Kate held her daughter by her biceps at arms length.

Rory slowly shook her head. She didn't mean to say that out loud.

"Okay, I won't press. Do you want something to eat before you go to sleep?" Kate asked, using her thumb to wipe the tears under Rory's eyes.

"No."

"Why don't you get ready for bed then come watch TV with me, okay?" Kate got a nod in return, which made her smile. She planted a reassuring kiss on Rory's forehead before walking away.

Kate sat down on the couch and pulled her phone out from her pocket to see that she had a few texts from Castle. She quickly read them over. She was so lucky that he didn't press charges. He even asked if everything was okay with Rory. She honestly didn't know the answer.

She tapped the phone on her chin a few times, trying to think of a response. She ended up just telling him that Rory has barely spoke since they got home and how she was acting so out of touch with reality.

When she got his response, she heard soft footsteps making their way over to her. She looked in the direction of the noise to see Rory.

"Hey," Kate said with a gentle smile. A confused look went across her face when she noticed that her daughter only changed her shirt. That was odd. "You're still in your capris."

Rory looked down at her legs. "Oh." She slowly turned around and headed back toward her room to change again.

Kate watched her daughter disappear into the hall. It was like she forgot that she had capris on, which was really weird.

Before she let herself overanalyze everything, she picked up her phone to read Castle's reply.

_Don't mind me asking, but is she depressed?_

Now Kate really did start to analyze certain things like Rory's silence, the way she recently slept so much, hardly ate, just overall lethargic demeanor. Maybe her daughter was depressed, but she wouldn't be sure until the appointment she managed to set up for her on Friday.

She sighed as she quickly sent Castle a text.

_I'll look into it._

When she looked up from her phone, Rory was right in front of her. Her daughter's presence made her jump.

"Jesus, you scared me," Kate said with her hand over her heart. She saw Rory's eyes squint at her like she didn't understand. "Sit." She patted the spot closest to her.

Rory slowly sat down to get her leg under her bottom. She let her mom pull her closer. For some strange reason, this didn't bother her. Instead it made her feel more secure and safe from everything going on in her mind. She let her head rest below her mom's shoulder.

"Let's watch the new episode of Temptation Lane," Kate said, turning her head to see the remote next to her. She got a hold of it and turned to look at Rory who was so still. Her daughter's bright blue eyes were intently watching her. "What's up?"

"Nothing," Rory murmured, shifting her gaze on the TV that was now turned on.

Kate rested the side of her face on the top of Rory's head. She navigated to the DVR menu and scrolled down to the most recent episode. After she hit play, she could hear slower, steadier breathing that was coming from Rory.

"Rory?" Kate questioned, leaning her head down to see Rory's face. Her daughter was asleep. How was she tired at only 9:30 pm? That was a rarity.

But before she started to question everything, the TV caught her attention. She would question herself tomorrow. Right now she wanted to watch this episode and enjoy the moment with Rory cuddled up to her, definitely since this hasn't happened in _years. _And she missed it.

After the episode ended, Kate had to wake Rory to go to her bed. It took a few tries, but she succeeded.

"Time for bed," she said as her daughter sat upright.

Rory slowly made her way over to the kitchen for a drink. She paused when her hand was on the cupboard handle.

"Mom," she said, turning around to look in the living room. Her mom just turned off the TV and set the remote on the coffee table when she faced her.

"Yeah?"

Rory bit down on her bottom lip, trying to think of the best way to ask her question. Since she had a feeling there wasn't a simple way, she just let it roll out.

"Who's my dad?"

...

_"I can hear the voice, but I don't want to listen._

_Strap me down and tell me I'll be alright._

_I can feel the subliminal need to be one with the voice,_

_And making everything alright."  
><em>

_Disturbed - Voices_

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><p><em><strong>AN: Oh the question Kate never wants to hear~<strong>  
><em>


	9. Chapter 9

"What?" Kate questioned with a squeak, completely caught off guard.

"You know. The guy that helped make me. That knocked you up."

Now the normal Rory attitude came out and Kate didn't know how to react to it. Definitely since the question that brought it on was one she never wished to answer, or talk about. She honestly thought Rory was okay not knowing, even though that was only an assumption. An assumption that was obviously incorrect.

"Uh, well." Kate crossed her arms and bit down on her bottom lip, trying to figure out an answer that wouldn't hurt.

"Come on. Just spit it out. What's his name?"

"Rory, you've got to under-"

"For fucks sake, Mom. What's his name?"

"Watch your mouth," Kate snarled, narrowing her eyes at her daughter.

Rory subconsciously walked closer to the apartment door. "One night stand?"

Kate closed her eyes and ran her hand down her face. She didn't know how to explain how she got pregnant. Well, Rory understood the whole sex part, obviously, but putting everything into words proved to be a very difficult task.

"You're not gonna tell me," Rory said after reading her mom's body language.

"You need to understand."

"Understand what? That you were probably a whore, sleeping around, and now you have no clue who my dad is?"

"Mallorie, you are way out of-"

Rory lifted her hand to silence her mom. She was not allowed to get the upper hand on this. "You're not going to tell me who helped bring on my pointless existence?"

"Will you just hear me out?"

"No. Just say his name!" Rory yelled, balling her hands into tight fists, even when her right wrist started to hurt.

Kate rounded the couch, trying to buy herself more time to think of the right thing to say. She wasn't stupid, she knew Rory would probably go looking for her dad and she couldn't let that happen because it would end terribly.

"I can't believe you," Rory said after a long pause, looking up at the ceiling. "You're trying to keep him from me."

"That's not even-"

"Then what is it, Mom? It's been sixteen long years without a dad. I fucking deserve to know who he is!"

"Yes, you do deserve to know, but that doesn't make this any easier. This is a very tricky situation, Mallorie. You need to understand that!" Kate yelled, hoping it would bring some sense to her daughter's outbursts.

"I've been in tricky situations. I can handle it." Rory watched as her mom shook her head. She bit down on her tongue and glared ahead. "Stop being so fucking selfish and tell me who my damn father is!"

"Just lose the language and calm down, so we can talk about this."

"Admit you were a rich snob who slept around and don't know who he is."

Ouch. That stung a bit and before Kate knew which words were making their way out her mouth, she spoke. "He didn't want you."

Four words. Four simple words made it feel like a knife was stabbed in Rory's chest. She stumbled back a few paces closer to the door. What her mom just said, what she just heard, it really hurt. Her eyes were now filled with tears and everything felt like it was moving very sluggishly. When she saw her mom start to take small steps toward her, she turned around and darted for the door.

"Rory!" Kate yelled, bolting forward to grab the apartment door just as it was about to close. She yanked it back open and ran into the hall to see her daughter already inches from the stairway. "Rory, wait!"

Sometimes Kate wished that Rory wasn't so quick, or that she was faster. It didn't matter if she was a trained detective; her daughter knew how to run.

She pushed the door open to the staircase and leaned over the rail to see Rory a few flights down. Thankfully, she didn't have heels on or else she probably would have fallen because she was skipping every other step. She continued to do this until she could see Rory pull the door open for the lobby.

"Rory, stop!" Kate insisted, knowing that it was useless. She hopped down the last few steps and dove for the door. Once she was through it, she saw Rory running toward the outdoors.

No! Kate couldn't lose her in the city. With what was just said, she had a feeling she would end up not seeing Rory for a few days and just that thought was nerve-wracking.

She ran outside and chased after Rory, who was already a far ways down the street. She followed Rory around the corner, but when she rounded it, there was no sign of her daughter.

"Rory!" Kate anxiously yelled as she speed walked, trying to look over some of the people's heads. She got a few rude stares, but that didn't matter to her right now. What really mattered was finding her upset daughter.

…..

It has been two hours since Rory ran out of the apartment. Two hours of those four words playing throughout her mind, stuck on repeat and one hour since she stopped running.

Sitting on the rooftop of one of the few buildings she had access to wasn't something new to her. This was her usually place of refuge whenever she got in trouble as a kid. Nobody knew about it, well that was before she met Trevor years ago.

He followed her up here one day when she ran from her mom and sat down next to her, the same spot she was sitting at right now. They both daringly swung their feet over the ledge in silence and watched the cars go by. It was when his hand held onto hers, did they actually look at each other.

She missed those days when everything seemed so easy. All she had to do was run and hide for a little while then return home. Her mom or grandpa would be there, worried out of their minds, and the yelling would be held off until the next day.

But tonight was different. Tonight she found out that she wasn't even wanted in the first place. After all the things her mom used to say to make her feel cared about, even without a dad was now so meaningless.

They were all a bunch of lies, weren't they?

The sound of footsteps from behind made her turn around. Even in the dark, she could make out his pretty face. Trevor.

Trevor slowly sat down on the ledge, making sure he wouldn't fall or anything. He turned his head toward Rory to see that she had been crying.

"What happened?" he questioned as he slid his arm around her waist for support.

"Found out I was never wanted," Rory answered, biting down on her lip in hope it would stop fresh tears from forming.

"Never wanted by who?" He pushed her hair behind her ear, silently admiring how beautiful she really was.

"My mom, my dad, and probably my grandparents."

"If it's any consolation, I want you."

Rory let her tired head fall onto his shoulder. "How did you know I was here?"

"Your mom called and asked if I knew where you would run off to. I lied and said I wouldn't know. When I hung up, I came here." He felt a nod against his shoulder. "You're cold," he stated his observation when his hand touched her arm.

"Not really. I'm pretty numb right now."

"Do you plan on going back home?"

"No."

"Okay… then where?"

"Out of the city. Somewhere far," Rory distantly answered, envisioning someplace that she could possibly travel to.

"You know I'm not letting you go alone, right?"

"Had a feelin'."

"And besides, you have one more final tomorrow then summer vacation. Why don't you just take the test then we can go on a road trip?"

"My mom will end up staking out the school. I need to get away and I have good grades in English. If I don't do the final I'll still manage like a B or C."

"So where do you wanna go?" Trevor asked, watching the few stars in the sky shine through the city lights.

"No clue. Know anyone far from here?"

"There's my cousin in Auburn or Syracuse. One of those, but that's five hours away."

"Your cousin Derek? The well known partier?"

"That's him."

"How would we get there?"

"Steal a car?" Trevor joked with a warm laugh to lighten the mood.

"Might work."

"I wasn't being serious!"

Rory slowly stood up on the ledge and looked down, wondering what it would be like to just jump. Before she got any ideas to, she hopped off backwards and started to make her way to the stairs. "Well, I am."

"If we get money we can take a train or even a bus. Rory, I am not stealing a car," Trevor said, rushing to her side to try and reason with her.

"Can you steal your mom's?"

"Actually… I could steal my stepdad's. Not like he ever drives it. Sometimes I wonder why some people actually have cars here." Rory's smile lit up even in the dark. He grabbed her hand, sliding his fingers between hers and looked down at her with an affectionate grin. "Come on, let's go on a road trip."

…..

It was close to midnight and Kate was standing outside of Castle's loft. She didn't know exactly why she was here, just that she needed help finding her daughter and he was the first person that came to mind.

She reluctantly brought her fist up and lightly knocked on the door. It was open within the minute, which surprised her, but then again, Castle was one to stay up late every night.

"Beckett?" Castle questioned with a baffled tone. "What are you doing here?"

Kate slowly nodded her head, trying to fight back tears. "I need your help."

"Of course. Come in." Castle moved out of the way, so she could walk past him. He could sense that she was distraught, but he knew better than to pry for information. Instead, he led her to the living room and motioned for her to sit. "What's this about?"

Kate gradually rubbed her hands together, staring straight ahead. She didn't know why she was asking Castle for help. Her daughter didn't even like him, but he did care.

"I can't find Rory," she finally said after a few long pauses.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean-" She took a sharp inhale. "-she ran from me and I can't find her."

Castle sat down across from Kate, observing her body language and facial expression to find that she was more distressed than he realized.

"We had an argument. A bad one." Kate looked down at her hands in her lap. "The look on her face before she bolted out the door…"

"What were you two arguing about?"

"About her father."

"Ah." Castle sat up, illustrating that he was more attentive. He was curious to know who Rory's father was, but he had a feeling that he probably would never find out.

"I didn't mean to say what I said. It's just… she wouldn't stop making crazy assumptions and she kept implying that I was a, uh, whore."

"You weren't a whore," Castle said with a warm grin.

"No, not really."

"Have you tried contacting some of her friends?" Castle questioned to take Kate's mind away from the messy argument she just had with her daughter. "Maybe they know where she would be."

"I tried Trevor. He said he wouldn't know, but for some odd reason, I feel like he lied."

"It's possible."

"And it's late, so I can't call everyone. I could go file a missing person's report, but who knows how long it will be for it to go through. How am I supposed to find her?" Kate nervously ran her fingers through her hair by her temples. She let her head rest in her hands while her elbows stayed on her knees.

"I bet she'll come around, Kate," Castle said, delicately placing his hand on Kate's arm.

"No." Kate shook her head before letting her eyes rest on him. "She won't. I know she won't."

"How?"

Kate narrowed her eyes at the man in front of her. She didn't know if he was trying to get as much information out of her as possible or if he was just trying to help. Either way she knew that she could trust him; that he wouldn't speak of this to no one.

"I told her that her dad never wanted her," she muttered, avoiding his eyes.

Castle could understand why Rory would run after those words were said to her. He would have done the exact same thing if his mother ever mentioned that to him. But she didn't because she knew not to and he never really pried because his mother never budged. It took him years to put it behind him and think that it was his dad's loss. He had everyone he wanted and needed and that was all that mattered.

"Castle?"

Kate's concerned voice took him out of his thoughts. He put his full attention back on her.

"Where would you run to if you were my daughter?"

"Uh, I don't really know her that well. Since she's been hours away before, probably somewhere far? And I don't think she would go alone unless she isn't afraid to travel by herself."

"So you think someone would be with her?"

"But who?" They both said at the same time, causing smiles to be cast.

"Trevor?" Castle questioned.

"He is her boyfriend and the way he looks at her… Oh my god. He lied to me."

"Maybe he didn't lie, but it's possible she eventually went to him, right?"

Kate swiftly pulled her phone out and looked at the time. Since she overheard Rory talking to Trevor the other night, she knew he was now on summer vacation. Before she thought twice about calling, she hit his name and held the phone to her ear. It rang a few times until the other line was picked up.

"Uh, hello?"

"Trevor, hi, this is Rory's mom," Kate said, looking over at Castle for some sort of encouragement.

"Hi. What's up?" Trevor questioned as the noise in the background became more noticeable.

"I was wondering if Rory has contacted you at all."

"No."

The feeling of defeat hit Kate harder than it normally would. She was about to end the call until she heard faint whispers. She put her phone on speaker and held it flat in her hand, so Castle could help decipher what was being said.

The sound of cars passing each other made Castle almost yell out his idea. "He's in a car," he managed to whisper.

"Trevor, are you absolutely positive you don't know where Rory is?" Kate asked again, impatiently waiting for an answer. Sounds of the phone being passed around made its way to her and Castle. She shot him a confused look.

"Take a left," someone said in the distance.

"Rory?" Kate asked, completely bewildered by what was going on with the phone call.

"Fuck off," Rory murmured in the receiver, ending the call right after she spoke.

Kate looked down at her phone, mouth agape. Trevor lied to her, her daughter was in a car somewhere, and Castle just witnessed everything. She quickly dialed Trevor's number again to find that his phone was turned off. Rory was too smart for her liking.

"I think you should talk to his mom tomorrow," Castle said, cautiously watching worry rise in his partner.

"Okay," Kate whispered, abruptly standing up and walking over to the loft door.

"If you need anything, don't hesitate to call," Castle said as Kate opened the door and stepped into the hall. "Kate?" She turned toward him. "We'll find her. I promise."

…..

"And we're here," Trevor announced as he pulled into his cousin's driveway. He set the car in park and turned the lights off before facing Rory. "You're tired," he stated while unbuckling himself. "We can sleep when we go in."

"Does he know we're coming?" Rory sleepily asked, pulling her head off the car window to rest it on the back of the seat. Even though they stopped a few times on the way to stretch, nap, and light up to stay awake while driving, she was exhausted.

"I sent him a private message on Facebook. He won't care. He calls me his favorite cousin," Trevor chuckled as he opened the door. "Let's go inside before you fall asleep on me."

Rory sluggishly got out of the car and made her way to Trevor. She smiled when he pulled her to him, his arm around her waist. He really made her feel safe and wanted, something she desperately needed right now.

They walked up the pathway to the small house. From the dawn light, it didn't look too rundown like Rory thought it would since Derek was a junkie. At least she knew she wouldn't be sleeping in a disgusting home, then again she hasn't been inside yet.

"I feel like an idiot with just a tank top and shorts on," she mumbled to herself as Trevor knocked on the door.

"You look fine. Besides, we can go to the Walmart we passed or some other store in this small city. You have money and I have money."

"I didn't bring money, dumbass," Rory replied with a deep laugh.

"I'll buy you things, don't you worry."

"With what?"

"My debit card. What else?"

"And have my mom track us? I don't think so."

Right as Trevor was about to respond, the door in front of him opened.

Derek looked like he hasn't slept in days given the redness around his gray eyes. His dark brown hair was sticking up every which way, making him look like the partier he really was. Since he was shirtless, his tattoos along his arms were very visible, which intrigued Rory. He took the cigarette out of his mouth and exhaled the smoke.

"Alright, bruv?" Derek questioned Trevor with a smile, making his British/Italian accent apparent.

"All good. Tired, though." Trevor looked down at Rory who was resting her head against his side.

"I cleaned up the room for you guys. Don't mind the mess." Derek walked back into the house, letting Trevor and Rory follow.

The living room was directly to their left and the stairs to their right. There were beer bottles scattered across the carpet and some random clothes. A couple of people were passed out on the decent looking furniture in the living room, making it obvious that Derek let people stay whenever they needed to.

"The extra room is upstairs right next to mine. I'll show you," Derek said before running up the stairs. He walked down the short hall and pushed open a slightly closed door. "Just lock it whenever you sleep. People tend to use this room."

"God, did you at least clean the sheets?" Trevor asked far more disgusted with this room than the downstairs.

Rory moved away from Trevor's side and ran her finger across one of the glass bongs on the worn down dresser. "What do you have?"

"Most everything," Derek replied with a smile. "What do you want?"

"Rory, how about we sleep? We can party in the days to come," Trevor interjected with his suggestion.

"Just weed," Rory answered Derek's question, ignoring Trevor for the time being. "Preferably headies if you have them."

"I'll be back." Derek passed Trevor and pulled him in for a quick hug. "Glad to see you."

"Missed you too," Trevor responded with a grin before turning his head toward Rory who was checking over the room.

Once Derek returned and the three of them took turns off the bong with two bubblers in it, they were all stoned out of their minds. Nobody had to say anything to cause a laughing fit that would last for what seemed like hours. And by the time Derek left the room to go get a drink and lock the front door to sleep, it was seven in the morning.

Rory walked around the room, unable to sit still. She pushed the bedroom door completely shut and locked it. She slowly turned toward the bed to see Trevor sitting on it, observing the ceiling that looked like it had splatter paint over it.

When she climbed next to him, not getting his attention, she playfully pounced on him with a slight giggle. The shocked expression he gave her made her let out a deep, seductive laugh. And that was all she had to do before they were kissing.

Chills ran up her spine when his cold fingertips made their way along her sides, dragging her tank top up as they did. She smiled with her lips against his before she pulled away. After she lifted her tank top off, his wide green eyes scanned her body, causing a deep, throaty laugh to escape from her

"I have been dreaming about this for a long time," he murmured, running his hands along her soft skin.

"Have you?" she questioned as her hands went behind her back. Her bra straps fell a little ways past her shoulders. Once she completely took it off, she dropped it off the side of the bed. "This too?"

Trevor sat up, placing his hands on Rory's back to roll them over, so he would be in control. The sexy giggles he received… He needed her and now. But before he could get what he wanted, he needed a condom.

He dug his hands in his pants pockets to come up empty. He looked down at Rory who was grinning up at him.

"Lookin' for this?" she questioned, holding the Trojan condom packet between her fingers.

Rory loved being able to have the freedom to smoke and have sex whenever she wanted. She was also glad that it was with Trevor. It wasn't long until he got her toes to curl and back to arch. Yeah, he was a year or so older than her, but how did he know exactly what to do?

When they were both finished and satisfied, Rory laid her head on Trevor's chest. She closed her eyes and listened to his fast heartbeat loud in her ears.

"We're gonna have adventures, you and me," Trevor said with a smile.

"And more of that," Rory said, lifting the sheet from his waist to peak under.

"I'd like more of that."

"Party every night, sleep all day. I could get used to this."

"Can we somehow get money to… not sleep in all this?" Trevor motioned his hand in a circle.

"How does Derek pay for this house?"

"His dad left it for him before moving out of state. The mortgage is paid off and everything. Lucky bastard, ain't he?"

"I'd say, but what about the bills?"

"We can ask later. Right now I'd like to sleep with my beautiful girlfriend and replay everything that happened within the last hour."

"Okay," Rory smiled, snuggling closer to him.

This was the most silent her mind has been in awhile and it was all due to Trevor… and the drugs they did. Hopefully it would stay this way.

...

_"Are you stuck inside a world you hate?  
><em>

_Are you sick of everyone around?  
><em>

_With their big fake smiles and stupid lies,  
><em>

_While deep inside your bleeding."_

_Simple Plan - Welcome To My Life_

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><p><em><strong>AN: :D<strong>  
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	10. Chapter 10

It has been a little over a week since Rory and Trevor ran off. Nine days of being together and partying every night while trying to stay away from social networks, which seemed to be easier for Rory than Trevor. Rory couldn't have her mom trace her or find out what she's been doing because if she did, she would definitely end up in rehab and away from everyone she loved, mainly Trevor.

If Trevor's mom found out where he was, it wouldn't really matter. His family members were all close with each other and Derek wasn't the only one in this small city. If she did find out, he said that she'd ask him to come back and not force anything. The only way she would make him come back or drive up here to get him was if she found out what he's been up to.

He usually never drank, but being high off the drugs they have been doing, it made it impossible to not. Besides, Derek told him it wouldn't hurt and he wouldn't let him leave the house drunk. His cousin cared about him, probably would die for him, and he felt safe enough to drink. Yeah, his dad was killed in a car accident caused by a drunk driver, but that didn't mean he would drink and drive. It's just a scary liquid that he would rather avoid, but now? Now he liked it. Liked feeling buzzed and high at the same time.

The drive from Wal-Mart back to his cousin's house seemed like it took a long time because he kept getting stuck behind old, slow people. But in reality, it only took about fifteen minutes.

He had to buy edible food for him and Rory since Derek preferred ordering or going out to eat. That and condoms. He definitely needed more of those since Rory has been all over him lately. Of course he didn't mind, but he wanted to know what was causing her to be so aroused.

After he pulled into the driveway and put the car in park, he unbuckled his seat belt and let it fling to the side. He reached over to grab all four bags off the passenger seat before opening the door and stepping out.

The closer he drew to the house, the louder the music was. At least it wasn't that dubstep crap one of Derek's friends was playing earlier. This sounded more like Rory's music, which was a mix of hip-hop and all forms of rock.

He opened the door to be hit with the overwhelming smell of dope. Damn. Everyone was smoking without him.

When he entered the kitchen and set the bags on the counter, he felt a presence behind him.

"What'd you buy?" Derek questioned, shuffling over to the bags. He peered in them. "Fruit? Who eats fruit?"

"I do and so does Rory. I swear that's the only thing I've ever seen her eat," Trevor answered, pulling the fridge open to set the fruit in it. He had to rearrange the beer cans and bottles, but he managed to make it all fit.

Derek stopped the fridge from being closed with his hand. He grabbed one of his orange juice bottles before letting the door close by itself.

"Where's Rory?" Trevor inquired, watching his cousin down the orange juice.

"She went upstairs."

Trevor finished putting the food away before handing Derek the left over money. He walked out of the kitchen and up the stairs, his cousin behind him the whole way.

When he entered the bedroom, his eyes fell on Rory who was sitting on the bed with her head against the wall. She was observing the ceiling before her gaze fell on him.

"Hey, beautiful," Trevor said with a smile, climbing onto the bed to sit in front of her.

"Have you ever wondered what it was like to just end it… forever?" Rory insinuated while looking into his green eyes that were rimmed with the color red.

"What?" Trevor questioned, his voice hoarse since his mouth immediately went dry.

"You know." Rory brought her eyes back up. "See the end," she murmured while her eyes deliberately traveled across the ceiling.

Trevor glanced over at Derek who shrugged because he didn't understand. He didn't like the way she was speaking. It was very dark and negative, but he needed to know what she was talking about.

"What end?" he questioned as he swallowed the large lump in the back of his throat.

"Mine," Rory blatantly answered with her exhale, which was followed by a slight smile.

Trevor narrowed his eyes at his girlfriend to find that hers were bloodshot. He abruptly got off the bed and charged at Derek, slamming him into the wall.

"What did you give her?" Trevor yelled as his arm held Derek down right below his throat.

"I didn't give her nofin'," Derek nervously replied, staring into Trevor's furious green eyes.

"What the fuck did you give her, Derek?" Trevor's tight fist rested against his cousin's face. He was ready to punch him if he had to.

"Meth."

Trevor inhaled and exhaled deeply, trying to regain his cool. He hasn't snapped like this since the days after his dad passed away. Rory was important to him, like his dad was. He loved her and if something happened to her, he wouldn't know what to do.

He eventually let Derek go and watched him dart out of the room. He slammed the door shut, locking it in the process before taking a seat by Rory again.

"Are you okay?"

"They're after me," Rory whispered, tightly squeezing her eyes shut.

"Who is?"

"They've been after me for awhile." She shook her head.

"Jesus, Rory. How much did you take?"

"Not much."

Trevor leaned in and planted a soft kiss on her forehead. "Stop with this dark shit, yeah?" he hummed with his lips still against her skin. "I won't let anything happen to you and that's the honest truth." He observed her slow nod and pulled away to see her fully. "Let's go for a walk or something. Get you out of this house for once."

"Okay."

…..

Kate vigorously slid her fingers through her hair while her elbows rested on her desk. She hasn't gotten a full night's sleep since the night Rory ran off. She didn't know where her daughter or Trevor were and she has searched almost every place she could think of. Even Trevor's mom gave her ideas, but they all led to dead ends.

She was tempted to give up and let Rory come home on her own, but she knew that wouldn't happen. The way her daughter was acting and behaving before she ran off made it clear that if she got away, Kate would never see her again or so she thought.

"How come you're not going with Ryan and Esposito to question the new lead?" Castle questioned while he sat down in his usual chair.

"I let Esposito take lead investigator on the case," Kate answered with her face in her hands.

"Seriously? Why?"

"Because I can't focus."

"Oh, right," Castle murmured. He honestly didn't like Rory ever since she attacked Alexis the way she did. He was only helping Kate track her down because she's the daughter of the woman he loves. Some day if Kate let him in, he would have to make peace with Rory or at least try to. The girl really despised him and he didn't know why.

"I sent out so many APBs. How can she hide? Where the hell is she?" Kate whispered, leaning back in her chair to look over at Castle. He looked irritated, but she wasn't quite sure.

"Did you ask Trevor's mom if there were family members that he would go to?"

"I did. She called all the ones she could think of and she didn't get anything."

"Maybe if you try to solve the case at hand, something will fall in to place."

"I can't wait for something to fall into place. For all I know, Rory is dead in a ditch somewhere," Kate spoke, choking on her last words.

"She's not dead, Kate," Castle gently replied, placing his on her knee for support. When he saw her blink away the tears that formed behind her exhausted eyes, his heart broke.

"I'm sorry she hit Alexis."

"It's not your fault," Castle replied through a clenched jaw.

"Yeah, but I didn't keep an eye on her like I wanted to. Maybe if I picked her up after she took her final, that wouldn't have happened. Maybe if I threw her in rehab, she wouldn't have ran and I would have never said what I did."

"She's fine. She knows how to take care of herself."

"Not really. If I didn't make her dinner or bring home food for her to eat, she probably wouldn't. If I don't tell her to take her medications, that help her, she wouldn't."

"Oh."

"You're still furious that she hit Alexis, I know. You don't have to hide it from me, Castle."

Castle roughly swallowed the lump in the back of his throat and rubbed his hands together. He forgot that he couldn't hide how he felt with Kate. For Christ's sake she was one of the best detectives in New York.

"You could have pressed charges."

"No, I couldn't have. You're my partner and partners don't do that to each other."

"You could have yelled or screamed at her or me…"

"You know that's not in my nature."

Kate let the corners of her mouth lift up a little. He was trying to make her feel better while she was attempting to lift his mood.

"What?" Castle questioned her slight smirk.

"You're a good partner, Castle. I couldn't have asked for a better one."

If it wasn't for the simple fact that he didn't know if Kate felt the same way about him, Castle would have pulled her in for a kiss, even in front of the entire bullpen. She has said meaningful things to him before, most of the time to make him feel better, but he knew she was sincere, that she meant every word. He felt better that she figured out he was mad over Rory punching Alexis, like a huge weight was lifted off his shoulders. But now, now he needed to help Kate find her daughter before something tragic happened to the troubled teen.

…..

Seconds after walking back into the house, Rory went up the stairs and into the bedroom. Trevor followed her because she didn't say anything the entire time they were outside. They laid in the grass at a park and she even touched him, but no words were said. Two hours of silence!

He watched her curl up on the bed and close her eyes. She slept way too much lately and never ate anything he brought her. He didn't know if she was sleeping off the comedowns, or because she was actually tired. And the whole not eating thing was starting to get to him.

Once he was positive that she was asleep, he walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. He walked into Derek's room to see him drawing in one of his many sketchbooks. Sometimes he wondered why his cousin never tried to become a famous comic book illustrator because he had insane talent.

"O'rite?" Derek questioned without looking up from his drawing.

"Can I borrow your computer?"

"Yeah. Code's qwerty420."

"That's such a simple password," Trevor laughed as he sat down in front of the computer. He hit the spacebar to wake up the screen and typed in the password.

He got on Google and searched: symptoms of depression. A ton of results came up, but he hit the WebMD link and began to read. Since he never knew that there were so many different kinds, he opened new tabs of the ones he thought would be most helpful - major, atypical, bipolar and psychotic depression. They all kind of described Rory, but the last one…

Trevor slid the chair back and hurried out of the room to go to the one where Rory was located. She was still fast asleep, completely dead to the world, so he picked up the clothes off the floor and searched for his phone. Rory told him not to turn it on, even for a few seconds, but he needed to ask someone that knew more about the things he just read. He needed to speak with his mom who was a critical care nurse.

He paced the room while he listened to the dial tone. His hand ran through his dark, greasy hair as he eyes fell on Rory. When the ringing stopped, he stood in one spot.

"Trevor?" his mom, Grace, questioned in an almost whisper.

"Mom, I have a serious question for you."

"Where the hell have you been?" she screamed into the phone, causing him to pull it away from his ear.

"I'll explain in a second, but I need your help," he anxiously replied, his panic quite clear.

"With what?"

"How do you know if someone is suffering from psychotic depression?"

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Mom. But how do you know?"

"Well, whoever has it might have hallucinations and delusions, kind of like seeing and hearing things that aren't really there. They are out of touch with reality and may think irrationally. They might sleep during the day, stay to themselves, and hardly talk. Um, they might also neglect their physical appearance."

"What do you mean by that?"

"They might not bathe or change their clothes."

"So it's like schizophrenia?"

"Yes, but the difference is that people with psychotic depression are usually aware that their thoughts aren't true."

"Oh man," Trevor let out a loud sigh as he rubbed his face.

"Now you have a lot to explain," Grace spoke with a serious mixed with worry tone.

"I'm with family."

"Who?"

"Derek…"

"Trevor Nicholas-"

"I know, I know, but I'm fine. Derek's actually been looking out for me."

"You stole Dave's car."

"I did…"

"You better be coming home right when you end this call," Grace threatened, hoping it would work.

"I can't yet. I will soon, though."

"This week and I mean it, Trevor."

"Okay… this week."

"Now, who do you think has psychotic depression?"

"Nobody," Trevor lied while he looked down at Rory. It was true that she hasn't exactly showered or changed her clothes in most of the days that they've been here. He didn't really think it meant anything until now.

"You best be straight with me," Grace snarled into the phone.

"I think… I think Rory has it," Trevor whispered into the receiver, afraid his girlfriend might wake up at the sound of her name. "But it's just an assumption," he quickly added, so his mom wouldn't tell Ms. Beckett.

"Mhm. You do know that I'm going to call her mom and tell her where she is, right?"

"Mom, you can't do that!"

"I have to. She is highly distressed because Rory ran off with you."

"I can't make her leave, Mom."

A pause.

"What's really going on up there?" Grace inquired, not ready to give this up quite yet.

"Nothing. I have to go now," Trevor blatantly replied, ending the call before his mom could say anything. He quickly turned his phone off, knowing that when he did go home he would regret his actions. Right now he needed to get Rory to answer some things for him, even if that meant waking her.

…..

The team just parked in front of the their newest suspect's home. Ryan and Esposito were the first out of the car and to the trunk. They took their vests out and began to strap them on.

Kate slowly stepped out of the door and sluggishly headed toward her partners with Castle right beside her. She took the vest that was handed to her and gradually slipped it on. She made sure the straps were as tight as possible because she has gone after a suspect with a loose vest before; it did not end well.

She pulled her gun out, making sure it was loaded before taking the safety off. When she looked up, all eyes were on her, which made her confused. She easily dismissed it when Esposito took the lead to the building.

Before they went in the back door, she sharply turned on her heel to face Castle. She placed her hand on his chest, which created a bewildered expression across his face.

"You stay back, okay?" she harshly questioned, not in the mood for any of his games. It was probably the lack of sleep that made her crabby, but she couldn't control it nor did she want to.

"Okay," Castle nervously answered, trying to make his mouth less dry. His partner knew how to get him on edge, but that was okay. She was seriously afflicted with the whole Rory thing. He had to snap out of his thoughts when he felt everyone glaring at him. "Sorry."

Ryan held the door open, so everyone could go in before him. He glanced side to side before closing it and letting it shut behind him. Once he caught up with his team, he nodded for Castle to take the caboose.

This was one of many things Castle liked to do, chase down suspects. The adrenaline that pumped throughout his blood was addicting and he wanted more. That was one of the main reasons why he got a specialized vest, so he could assist on things like this. Even though he couldn't carry a gun, he was pretty helpful when they had to use flashlights, but this, sadly, wasn't one of those times.

The halls were brightly lit, making it easier to maneuver around. Esposito stopped in front of the correct apartment. All crouching and stacking behind one another, they positioned their guns toward the door, ready to bulldoze their way into the suspect's home.

Esposito lifted his fist and pounded on the door. "NYPD, open up!"

They all heard movement in the apartment, but nobody answered the door. Esposito checked with his partners, getting a nod from Ryan and Kate before he lifted his foot and kicked the spot near the door handle.

When the door burst open, they forcefully entered the apartment to find their suspect lifting the window to the fire escape. Ryan and Esposito hurried over to grab and cuff him.

Kate decided to clear all the other rooms while her partners handled their suspect. She slowly moved down the small hall and placed her hand on one of the room doors. When she pushed it open, she quickly brought herself back just in case someone was inside, but nobody was. She then tried the room across from this one. Since the door was slightly ajar, she used her shoulder to get it fully opened. The sight before her eyes made her gun come down to her side. She turned the light switch on to get a better view.

The room reminded her so much of Rory from the posters on the wall to the colorful blankets on the bed.

She had to bite down on her bottom lip hard because tears started to form in her eyes. All of the guilt and regret she had from the night she said those words to Rory made her feel like the worst mother in the world. She took one of her hands off her gun and brought it up to her eyes to wipe away her now wet eyes.

It was Castle calling her name that got her out of the scene that she was playing over in her head. The look on Rory's face… the hurt she caused. Before she made herself vulnerable around her team, she turned around. Her eyes widened when she saw a man in front of her. She raised her gun to shoot him in an area that would only paralyze his movements, but she was too slow.

The sensation of something sharp being inserted and twisted in her lower abdomen made her crouch over, bringing her hands to the pain she now had. Her gun ended up slipping out of her grasp as she fell forward. The hand that wasn't clutching onto her agonizing wound was placed on the floor to hold her up. She didn't understand how she was stabbed because of her vest until she realized her hand was directly under it.

When she looked up to see the man fiddling with her gun, she tried to call out for one of her partners, but she couldn't find her voice because she was staring into the barrel.

The lightheadedness she now felt made it hard to focus on what was going on around her. Her body sluggishly collapsed onto the ground, creating a semi-loud thump. Before she went unconscious due to blood loss, she heard a gun shot and felt more pain in her upper arm. Then there was loud yelling.

She was just stabbed and shot in her bicep before everything went black.

…..

Trevor just finished gathering all the clothes on the floor and sorting them before washing. Most of the clothing was his and one outfit was Rory's. He set the basket, Derek let him borrow, back on the ground and placed the cigarette he had, between his lips. His hand delicately rested on Rory's shoulder before he lightly shook her. Since she didn't budge, he walked over to the window and pulled back the shades. The bright light entering the glass made him squint, but he quickly adjusted to it.

When he turned back around, Rory's eyes were on him. "Hey," he said with a smile, taking the cigarette from his mouth to put it out.

Rory sluggishly sat up and brought her hand under her pillow, pulling out a bottle of liquor. She untwisted the cap and desperately swallowed the liquid, feeling the burn in the back of her throat. As she was taking it away from her lips to get a breath in before she drank more, the bottle was taken from her.

"Let's chill out on the alcohol for awhile, okay?" Trevor questioned, picking up the cap and twisting it back on the bottle. The wrathful stare he was receiving made him uneasy to no end.

Rory's eyes traveled to the white phone on the bed. She picked it up, turning it over to see the Batman symbol on it. She then brought her gaze back on Trevor.

"What the fuck's this?" she fiercely questioned, holding it out to him.

"My phone," Trevor answered, anxiously licking his dry lips.

"Who did you call?"

"Nobody."

"Then why is it up here?"

"Because I'm going to clean our clothes and it was in one of my pockets," Trevor lied, hoping to God it would work on Rory. Seconds later she seemed to relax and he knew he was in the clear.

"Okay," Rory whispered, lying back down in bed.

"Come on," Trevor said, getting a gentle hold on her wrists as he pulled her back into a sitting position.

Since he didn't receive any objections, he got her out of the bed. Her full weight went into the side of him, so he wrapped his arm around her side as support. They walked out of the bedroom and to the bathroom like this.

He already had a change of clothes for Rory on the floor of the bathroom because he planned on getting her to bathe since he didn't want to believe that she had any form of depression. The hope of assisting her out of her thoughts and behaviors by doing this simple act wasn't too strong, but it was powerful enough for him to follow through.

Once he got her to sit on the toilet, he planted a soft, warm kiss on her forehead before turning toward the tub. He twisted the warm and cold knobs at the same time. It took awhile to get the correct temperature of water to stream out, but he managed. He was about to turn the shower on until he noticed that this was the kind that you could detach from the holder, which made this seem easier. And before he actually turned the shower on, he turned back to Rory who was watching him with a blank, dead stare.

Considering that he didn't know what to exactly say to make it disappear, he decided to let his actions speak for him. He closed the door and locked it before bending down to her height. His hands took a gentle, but firm hold on her shirt as he lifted it above her head. He let it drop on the ground until he acknowledged how she was biting down on her bottom lip and staring ahead with a wearied presence in her eyes.

"You okay?" he questioned with a high level of concern, but didn't acquire an answer.

He decided to just maintain what he desired and help her stand before unbuttoning her shorts. The contact of her hands on his shoulders, to balance herself, made him feel some sort of relief that she was aware to what was going on around her.

After he had her fully undressed, he assisted her into the tub. He made her sit down, so he could use the detachable showerhead. Once he unhooked it, he placed his hand under the water to make sure it wasn't too hot. He positioned the showerhead behind her back, letting the warm water gently come in contact with her skin.

By the time he was done, it was close to 2:30 pm. He turned the water off and put the showerhead back in it's original home. Since Rory wasn't standing up on her own, he pulled her onto her feet. He wrapped a towel around her before lifting her out.

She instinctively sat on the toilet and watched him care for her. He brought another towel to her hair and wrung it out until it wasn't dripping anymore. Next, he moved the towel down her arms and legs, so she was pretty much dry. After he set the pretty soaked towel down, he unwrapped the one around her body and let it fall in her lap. He helped her into her bra followed by a clean camisole.

"Can you stand?" he said in a soft whisper.

When she was standing in front of him, he waited until the towel fell to the floor before guiding her into her clean underwear, red shirt and jean shorts. He directed her to the toilet to sit back down before picking up the brush on the sink. Once he finished combing her hair, he knelt down in front of her.

"All good," he murmured with a smile.

They both walked down the stairs, Rory leaning into Trevor for aid in moving. Once they were outside and seated on the porch steps, they watched little kids play in the yard across the street.

This made Trevor miss his little brother really bad. He now wanted to go back home, but he couldn't or wouldn't without Rory. Leaving her here would be ludicrous, even though if he asked, Derek would keep an eye out for her. The one problem would be that Derek is a pushover and whatever Rory asked for, he would give her.

"Rory," he finally spoke. "We should go back."

No response.

"Can you allow me to at least contact my mom for Andrew's sake?"

"Okay," Rory mumbled, letting her head fall into his chest, taking in the fresh scent of the sweet cologne. Her eyes closed as she listened to his steady heart beat.

Trevor pulled out his phone from his pant's pocket and turned it on. He had to wait a few minutes because one notification after another kept popping up, indicating that he had over fifty voicemails.

Earlier today, he ignored them, but now? Now he needed to know what they said. He hit the green square with a phone on it and navigated to the voicemail section. He decided to listen to the most recent, which was only from an hour ago, and then go down the list.

He had to listen to it twice because the man, who he guessed to be Castle, was speaking incredibly fast. Immediately after the words translated into a coherent form, his heart plummeted to the bottom of his stomach.

"Rory, we have to go back, now," he managed to say through the consternation swirling around in his mind.

"No."

"Rory… your mom's in the hospital."

Those five simple words were what made Rory sit up and gawk at Trevor. She didn't hear correctly, he was tampering with her emotions. He had to be.

"Yes, she is. Here. Listen," Trevor held his iPhone in the palm of his hand and put it on speaker before playing the voicemail.

_I know your phones are off, both of yours, but you need to let Rory know that K-Beckett is in the hospital. She's in the OR as I speak and it's not looking too good. Please, please, get this message to Rory._

Rory looked up at Trevor with a bewildered expression. Her brows were furrowed because her mind was trying to wrap itself around Castle's message. She didn't understand what was going on, but the panic written across her boyfriend's face made her heart pick up speed.

This was real.

"I'll go get our stuff." Trevor helped Rory up the few steps and over to one of the chairs on the porch. He sat her down before kissing the area near her temple. He could tell she was highly distressed because of the scared look in her eyes. "You stay here. We will go see your mom," he whispered into her ear before walking away.

Once Trevor had everything gathered into a few bags of Derek's, he rushed outside and to the car. He placed the bags in the back seat before heading to the front to turn the air conditioner on. It was hot as hell out and he didn't want to be sweating while driving. And since him and Rory couldn't take turns driving this time, given her current state of mind, he needed to be as comfortable as possible. After he finished turning the air on, he closed the door and turned toward the porch.

Derek was sitting next to Rory, showing her something in his sketchbook.

Trevor ascended the stairs and walked over to them. He peered over his cousin's shoulder to see a highly detailed drawing of Rory and himself, cuddled up on the couch.

"Wow," he said in awe.

"For you," Derek replied, carefully ripping the page out of his book. He handed it to Rory who was wide-eyed in amazement. "Have this too." He fished for his wallet in his back pocket and pulled it out. He handed Trevor a $100 bill. "For gas."

"Are you sure?"

"Go. I'll come visit you and your mom soon."

Trevor tightly hugged his cousin and pulled away. He lifted Rory onto her feet and guided her to the car, Derek behind them the whole way.

"Love you, bruv," Derek said with a smile. "Be good to her."

"Love you too and I will." Trevor nodded as he helped Rory into the passenger's seat.

…..

A little over five and a half hours later of driving, they finally arrived at the hospital Grace told them to go to. She sounded excited when she heard the news that Trevor was coming home. Hopefully, he didn't look like a junkie or anything because he didn't want to get in trouble. He wanted to make sure Rory and Ms. Beckett were going to be okay before he worried about himself.

Rory kept her head on the cold window even when Trevor got out of the car and made his way over to her. She couldn't think straight let alone go in the hospital like this. She knew how she appeared, exhausted, red-rimmed eyes that illustrated her lack of sleep and drug use, probably a lot of weight loss, overall like an addict. But when the door opened, she had to lift her heavy head up and look at Trevor.

He unhooked her seat belt and directed it to the side of the car. He then carefully guided her out of the car.

They walked to the hospital's doors together. Trevor with his arm around Rory, holding her to his side because he had a feeling she might try and run. It didn't matter if she was so calm and quiet lately, he knew how and why she ran.

Upon walking through the swinging doors to the ICU wing, everyone's eyes, that were waiting in the hall, fell on them. Nobody dared to move because they didn't know if they were seeing correctly.

Castle turned his head when he saw where everyone's gaze shifted. He lifted his back off the wall and daringly stepped in Rory's view.

Trevor noticed that his mom was sitting on the ground with everyone. He glanced down at Rory, figuring that she needed some space to come to terms with the situation at hand, so he dashed over to his mom and was welcomed with a love filled hug.

Rory kept her stare situated on the tiled floor. She counted twenty-seven tiles between her and the feet blocking the other ones. Her eyes slowly traveled up to the figure to find that it wasn't her grandpa or Esposito. It was Castle.

Everyone was watching her, she could feel all of their stares, but Castle's… his held her attention the most.

The fear behind his eyes, the way his body language spoke volumes, she knew this was serious, but she couldn't believe it. She didn't want to.

Castle hesitantly took a few steps forward, attempting to close the large gap between him and Rory. He couldn't believe how much of a mess she looked right now. He could tell she hasn't slept much, lost a significant amount of weight and just hasn't been taking care of herself like Kate said she wouldn't. As much as he wanted to dismiss her since she hit Alexis, this was Kate's daughter who didn't look too good right now.

"She's asking for you," Castle finally spoke with as much calmness he could conjure, even though his anxiety was at its peak. "She only wants to see _you_."

...

_"They're watching you, you know they're counting down.  
><em>

_Every step is sinking through the ground._

_Don't they know I'm never going back,  
><em>

_To a world I never fit into anyway?"_

_Set Your Goals - Cure For Apathy  
><em>

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><p><em><strong>AN: Awwwwwww Trevor (: <strong>_


	11. Chapter 11

Rory slowly blinked her tired eyes as she kept staring at Castle. His lips moved and continued to, but she didn't hear what came out of them. Instead of paying attention, she tilted her head back and watched the markings on the ceiling.

By the time she brought her gaze back on Castle, two other people were next to him, her grandpa and Lanie. She still couldn't understand what they were saying to each other. Her thoughts were uncontrollably swirling around in her head, which made it hard to focus and understand anything.

"What should I do?" Castle murmured to Jim and Lanie as he kept his eyes glued on Rory. It seemed like she was trying to make sense of her surroundings, which frightened him.

"Don't do anything. Let her act on her own," Jim mumbled his answer as he observed how his granddaughter was standing in one spot. It was a rarity for her to be still this long and he was afraid she was high, but Trevor didn't seem to be, so she probably wasn't either.

"I don't think she's capable of doing so," Lanie added in, taking courageous steps toward her best friend's daughter. "Rory?"

The sound of her name made Rory look for the source. She faltered back a few paces because the new presence directly in front of her caused her to be alarmed.

"Can you hear me?"

Rory narrowed her eyes at Lanie, attempting to remember the words that were just said. She ended up bringing her hands to her temples and vigorously rubbing them. Her eyes closed until the current mumbling finally subsided. When they opened back up, she saw a worried expression across Lanie's face.

"Rory, your mom doesn't want anyone in that room besides you," Jim calmly announced, bringing his granddaughter's gaze upon himself.

"Go," Lanie whispered, lifting her hand to place it on Rory's shoulder only to retreat it when she remembered that the teen hated being touched when in situations like this.

Rory eyed her feet before they were placed one in front of the other. She dragged them across the tiled floor until she was in front of her mom's room. Her stare fell on Trevor who was watching her. He gave her an encouraging smile and nodded his head toward the door. She gradually placed her left hand on the cold handle and shut her eyes as she twisted it and pushed the door open.

The hospital room was dimly lit, which took a few seconds to adjust to. She scanned the whole area while still gripping onto the door handle like a lifeline. The shades were closed, even though it was nighttime, and it made her want to open them to feel less claustrophobic. Once she took in that side of the room, her eyes fixed on the machines that her mom was hooked up to. The simple sight of these made her mouth dry and she wanted to run out, but she couldn't find the ability to do so. Instead, her grasp on the door handle tightened and she focused on the bed and her mom, whose eyes seemed to be closed. Before they snapped open, she began to back out.

"Where do you think you're going?" Kate hoarsely asked her question. She sluggishly opened her eyes more to get a better view. When she saw Rory's appearance, she wished she hadn't because the lights from the hall made it abundantly clear that Rory heavily used while away. "Come here," she said above a whisper.

Rory gawked at her mom for what felt like hours until she let go of the door handle and receded. When she collided with someone, she turned around to find Trevor in her path.

"You have to talk to her," he whispered, so Kate couldn't hear. The bewildered stare he received made him delicately place his hands on Rory's shoulders. He slowly spun her around to face Kate and leaned down, so his mouth was beside her ear. "I can sense that you're scared as hell right now, but so is she. She needs you just as much as you need her, so talk to her or at least listen to what she has to say."

When he didn't get a reply, he lightly pushed her forward and watched her hesitantly walk over to the hospital bed. Once he was sure that she wasn't going to retreat, he stepped out of the room and closed the door.

Rory's breathing quickened the closer she got to her mom. She instantly became lightheaded either from lack of eating or her anxiety, she wasn't certain, but she forced herself to sit before she fell over. Her hand tightly held the other as she glared down at them.

"Look at me," Kate quietly said as she managed to press the button to lift the bed up. After being in a higher sitting position and she could see her daughter better, she noticed the weight loss. "Have you eaten at all?"

No response.

Kate leaned forward, causing the pain in her lower stomach to increase, but she bared it for the sake of getting through to Rory. She let her fingers rest under Rory's chin as she slowly lifted it, so they were looking at each other. The pink circling her daughter's dead eyes made her uneasy and more worried than before.

"I'm sorry," Kate hummed, keeping her stare locked with Rory's. "I'm incredibly sorry that I said that to you. There was no reason for me to." Since there was silence, she continued. "I love you so much, Rory, and there's nothing from the past, the present, or the future that will stop me." She watched her daughter's eyes sparkle, which indicated that they were filling with tears. "I care about you so much and if I didn't, I wouldn't have been searching for you the second you went out of my sight that night until my accident earlier," she sincerely spoke, getting no response again. "Please say something. Anything."

"Why?" Rory questioned, confusion apparent in her voice.

"Why what?"

"Nothing."

"No, tell me."

"It says that you don't."

Kate forced herself to sit up on her own at Rory's statement. She gritted her teeth when she felt intense sensations of pain in her lower abdomen. "What tells you? Rory, you're not making any sense," she managed to say with an exhale.

Rory gaped at her mom before standing up. She was about to speed away from the chair until her good wrist was grabbed.

"I'm sorry, but you're not leaving. You ran away, Rory. I'm not letting that happen again and if I have to keep you with me 24/7, then so be it," Kate spoke through a clenched jaw as she spun her daughter around to face her.

"Please. Please don't make me," Rory choked as more tears brimmed her eyes, making the others fall down her cheeks. She bit down hard on her bottom lip and fixated on the floor.

Kate pulled Rory closer until her arms were able to snake around her. She held her lovingly and tight until she felt her daughter's head on her shoulder, which made her loosen her hold.

"Mom, please," Rory pleaded through her cries.

"What happened in Central New York? What's going on with you, Mallorie?" Kate inquired as tears filled her own eyes.

She felt like her daughter was slipping through her fingers, even though she was physically here, but that didn't mean mentally. She had a gut feeling that Trevor knew more than she did and she wanted to speak with him. First, she needed to calm Rory down and get her to relax, though it was probably not going to happen since they were in a hospital.

"Here," Kate whispered as she got herself to be in the position she was before Rory came in the room. She made sure to scoot over, so there was enough space for Rory to sit beside her. It took a few attempts, but she managed to get her on the bed.

Ten minutes passed by in silence, but Kate didn't mind too much. Yes, she was worried, not so much with the quiet, more so with how distant Rory felt. She lightly ran the backs of her fingers down her daughter's face, realizing that she was asleep with furrowed brows. It seemed like Rory was having battles in her own head, which frightened Kate because she didn't know how to help or if it was even true.

When the door to the room opened, Kate shifted her gaze onto the figure stepping inside. "Hey, Castle," she murmured with a forced smile.

"Is everything okay?" Castle nervously questioned.

"With me, yes. Pretty painful, but I can handle it. With my daughter… I honestly have no clue."

"Want me to get a nurse for the pain?"

"It's fine, but could you do something for me?"

"Of course. Anything you ask."

"Ask Trevor to come in here."

"On it," Castle said as he turned around. "Beckett wants to talk to you," he spoke to Trevor who glanced over at his mom.

"Uh, alright," Trevor confusedly replied. He got up from sitting on the hall floor and walked into the hospital room. When he saw Rory asleep on the bed next to Ms. Beckett, he looked down at his feet. He felt like he caused Rory's problems, though it couldn't be true.

"You can sit," Kate nearly whispered, tilting her head to the chair beside her bed.

Trevor walked over to the chair and plopped down, his eyes staying on Rory the entire time.

"Can you tell me what happened where you guys went?"

"Nothing much," Trevor shrugged, turning his head toward Kate.

"I'd like the truth."

"We partied a lot, nothing too bad. Well, at least nothing bad when I was there. It seemed that whenever I left to go get something or do something outside and returned, she would be so… off."

"Off how?"

"Distant. Dark. Negative. Um… aroused."

Kate tightly shut her eyes and tried not to get angry over the fact that Rory and Trevor were having sex while away and probably under the influence. When she opened them back up, she saw a nervous expression over the teen boy's face.

"How was she acting?" she questioned, keeping her stare held with his.

"Like I just said and other ways. She slept sporadically throughout the day and was up all night." He wanted to tell Kate how Rory has talked about her life ending and people being after her, but she was already worried as could be. He didn't want to add to it.

"That's it?"

"Um," He scratched the back of his head, racking his brain for other details. "She never really showered or changed her clothes or ate. I tried to get her to eat all the time, but she wouldn't. Just alcohol…"

"What?"

"Yeah…"

Kate brought her hand up and pinched the bridge of her nose as her eyes closed. "How often?" she inquired with an exasperated sigh.

"Am I in trouble here?"

"No. You did nothing wrong. She was the one that got you to runaway with her and to stay away for a long period of time. Am I correct?"

"Yeah… I could've said no, though."

"You knew that she would have left on her own, so you went with her. It was the smart thing to do."

"Okay…"

"So how often did she drink?"

"From when she woke up to when she fell asleep. Well, maybe not that drastic, but she would drink like a fish out of water after waking up. It was impossible to stop her because… she can get intimidating."

"I know. I'm glad you brought her back. I'm guessing she fought it?"

"Not really," Trevor shook his head. "She was confused more than anything."

"Hm… Okay. Thank you."

"For what?"

"Bringing her here."

"After Castle's message, I had too, but you're welcome," he said with a crooked smile.

"If you remember anything else, please let me know. I need to figure out what's going on with her."

Trevor really wanted to tell Kate about his psychotic depression findings, but he didn't want to stress her out given her condition. She needed to heal up a bit more before he felt it was okay and he didn't even know if it was true.

"I will," he said with a nod. He got out of the chair and hesitantly kissed Rory's forehead since her mom was right next to her. "Can you tell her to call me tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I can do that," Kate murmured her answer. She watched Trevor slowly walk out of the room. She honestly wasn't going to allow Rory to see him for a while, even though he was good to her. Running away and returning home resulted in immediate grounding. She was also going to look into rehabilitation centers and maybe send Rory off to one, but she didn't know. She wanted to be the one to help her daughter out of the hole she dug herself into.

When the door opened again, Castle and Jim stepped into the room.

"I'm going to head out. Do you need anything?" Jim questioned.

"I'm good and tired, but could you run to my place and get clothes for her?" Kate tilted her head toward Rory who was now as close to the bed rail as could be.

"No problem. I plan on being here bright and early anyway," Jim answered with a smile. "With better food."

Kate shook her head with a slight laugh, creating pain where her stitches were located. She watched her dad exit the room before her eyes fell on Castle. He looked worried, but relieved at the same time. He saw her when she was shot and stabbed; he was probably going to have nightmares for a while.

"You okay?" she questioned.

"I should be asking you that," Castle said with a small, warm smile.

"I'm fine now."

"How's… um, Rory?"

"Who knows," Kate whispered while turning her head to look at her daughter.

"I shouldn't pester you with questions," Castle stated while looking down at his feet.

"You can pry tomorrow," Kate replied with a gentle, but tired grin.

"I'll see you then."

As Castle was headed out the door, Kate spoke up again. "Thank you for contacting Trevor and telling him about my condition."

"Always," Castle responded with a smile and nod.

…..

The next day, Rory woke up to voices and not the normal ones in her head. She opened her eyes a sliver to see two nurses looking at the machines. Her heart picked up speed until she remembered it was her mom that was hooked up to them, not her.

Then why was she in this bed?

Once the nurses checked Kate's IV and left, Rory sluggishly pulled herself into a sitting position with the bed rail. She glanced over at her mom to find her still asleep before scooting down, so she could get off the bed easier.

As she was sliding off the most uncomfortable mattress in the world, she heard her mom let out a sigh. The noise made her freeze and since nothing else followed it, she stood on the floor.

She glanced back at her mom before speeding toward the door. Right when she placed her hand on the door handle, her mom spoke.

"Nice try, kid," Kate exhaustively said, which was followed by a yawn. "You may be light and move quietly, but I could sense your weight moving off the bed. Oh, and by the way, you're on lock down now."

Rory rested her forehead against the door, feeling defeated, but then again, it wasn't like her mom could stop her…

She yanked the door open and darted forward to end up colliding into someone, which resulted in her falling back and onto the floor.

Castle's blue eyes went as wide as possible. "I'm sorry," he apologized, reaching down to help Rory back onto her feet, but she scooted away from him.

"Perfect timing," Kate said aloud with her head still against the pillow.

Rory looked between her mom and Castle before her eyes fell on the bathroom. She quickly managed to get herself on her feet before running into the small room and shutting the door. After locking it, she turned toward the mirror and stumbled back when she saw her reflection. She ended up collapsing on the floor and curling into a ball because of it.

That wasn't her that she saw. It was someone else that was dark and had a demonic grin.

"Mallorie Ann, come out here right now!" Kate yelled, which resulted in her coughing and making her stomach hurt. She was about to get off the bed until Castle placed his hand on her shoulder.

"You're not supposed to walk around yet. The doc-"

"-I don't care what the doctor said. She could be in there doing god knows what because I didn't think to check her pockets when she came in here last night. Now if you don't mind." Kate attempted to push Castle's hand off her shoulder, but it wouldn't budge. She gave him a furious glare.

"You shouldn't work yourself up."

"I stayed calm last night. I think that's long enough."

"You're pissed, I get that, but for Christ's sake, Kate, you were shot and stabbed. You can't just get up and walk away."

Kate looked up at her partner to find such a high amount of care behind his eyes. She softened up a bit and let out a long sigh. She opened her mouth to say something, but the bathroom door opened. Rory stepped out and kept her head toward the floor.

"Mallorie, come here," Kate demanded, trying to keep back her hostility. Since her daughter wasn't moving, she spoke again. "Can you even hear me?"

No response.

Kate placed her hand on Castle's arm and used to it lift herself onto her feet. She winced at the pain from wound, but she forced herself to walk over to her daughter, with Castle's help.

Once in front of Rory, Kate cupped her chin and lifted it up. "Are you okay?" she questioned with a lot of concern.

Rory closed her eyes for a long moment before opening them back up. She looked into her mom's green ones for a few seconds before averting the stare.

"When's the last time you ate or showered?"

"I don't know," Rory mumbled, making it hard to understand.

"Come again?"

"She said that she doesn't know," Castle answered since he could read lips pretty well. Rory's stare ended up falling on him, but it didn't make him feel uneasy like the other times. Instead, he became concerned because there wasn't hatred in her eyes. It was more along the lines of emptiness.

"Do you know what day it is today?" Kate questioned, causing her daughter's head to turn toward her.

"Monday," Rory distantly answered, shifting her eyes to her feet.

"Um, it's Friday." Kate bit down on the corner of her bottom lip. Rory was in a bad state of mind, worse than she thought. And it wasn't because Rory was high or anything since her eyes lacked the glossy and blood shot appearance.

"Okay," Rory whispered before walking past her mom. Her arm ended up getting snatched, making her come to a halt.

"Rory, will you please talk to me," Kate pleaded as she spun her daughter to face her. The confused glare she received caught her off guard.

There was something going on with Rory and she wanted to know what. It didn't look like today was going to be that day to find out either.

She placed her finger under her daughter's chin to lift it back up. "I'm going to get you the help that I know you need, even if you don't want it. There's something going on with you besides the drug and alcohol abuse. I feel like that is just a front from the real problem."

"I'm willing to help too," Castle added in, getting a happy smile from his partner.

...

_"So tear me open, pour me out.  
><em>

_There's things inside that scream and shout._

_And the pain still hates me._

_So hold me, until it sleeps."_

_Metallica - Until It Sleeps  
><em>

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: Tiny story: I really hate college. I can't write as often as I want. The end.<br>**_

_**Thoughts on the chapter? :D  
><strong>_


	12. Chapter 12

The next seven days went by exceedingly slow for Kate. She was always home because Captain Montgomery made her take time off, and she needed it. Not for her sake, but for Rory's. She honestly didn't trust the girl alone by herself, even though she mainly stayed in her room all day. Music was normally played at a medium volume, which made her check in every half hour or so. She was paranoid that something bad would happen and the music would cover it.

The psychiatrist – Cheryl – that Kate literally had to force Rory to see, hadn't gotten anything out of her yet. Kate knew that would happen, that Rory would just clam up, but she really hoped for some sort of eventual breakthrough. Anything to find out what was going on in her daughter's head.

It felt like that time Kate had to take Rory to a child psychiatrist to see why she was misbehaving so badly. Around four years old, Rory was bouncing off the walls with no sugary foods in her system. She was getting so frustrated with nothing and acting out with anger. Kate couldn't handle it on her own, though she tried, so she asked her dad what she should do and he called around to see what it could be. Her little girl had, and still has, ADHD. Of course she didn't want to believe it. Didn't want to think that her daughter had an attention disorder, but once she had medications, it made a huge impact.

But this was different. Rory's ADHD wasn't even apparent in her behaviors lately, which was really strange. Even with medication, if anyone knew Rory, they could still notice the symptoms. Maybe not as much without the stimulants, but enough.

Kate just closed the book she bought thirteen years ago when she was told Rory had the disorder. She drummed her thumbs on the cover because she just read that teens with ADHD tend to abuse alcohol and drugs. This was completely true with Rory. She never would have guessed that Rory was self-medicating, she honestly thought she was just acting out. And there was the possibility that the alcoholism her father had carried on to Rory. She really hoped not because she could not go through that again, never.

Since Kate had an itch on her wrist, she looked down to carefully scratch under her watch. When she noticed the time, she sat upright on the couch and stood up. Almost an hour passed from reading and she hadn't checked on Rory since then.

Once in front of Rory's bedroom, she placed her hand over the handle and twisted it to find that it was locked. Panic hit her faster than any other time, which caused her to pound her fist on the door.

"Mallorie, open the door," she nervously demanded, attempting to turn the handle again. She was about to yell some more until she heard a click. Once she pushed the door open a little and saw Rory sitting back on the bed with three sketchbooks, her eyebrow quirked up. "What are you doing?"

Rory shook her head and closed the sketchbook in front of her. She placed it on top of the others before climbing back under the blanket to lay down.

"Why don't you come out of your room for a little while?" Kate questioned as she sat on the foot of the bed.

No reply.

"We could go for a walk in Central Park."

Rory slowly inhaled, trying to manage a coherent sentence. "Doctor said you can't do that."

"I feel good enough to go to Central Park," Kate blatantly lied. "I've been walking around the house perfectly fine." This was the first time Rory actually spoke today and she wanted to keep it up. Maybe she'd get something out of her, a hint about why she had been so off and distant.

"No," Rory said with an exhausted sigh.

"Rory, it's fine. I think I'm healed enough to walk around for a little while." She watched Rory turn onto her side and place her hand over the ear that wasn't on the pillow. Rory's eyes were squeezed shut, causing her to become incredibly confused. What was her daughter hearing that she couldn't? "Come on," she eventually said, placing her hand on Rory's arm to pull her into a sitting position. She noticed how messy her hair was. "How long has it been since you showered?" She touched her daughter's hair to find it incredibly greasy. "Jesus, Rory."

"What?" Rory questioned, confusion apparent in her voice.

"Go shower, okay?"

"Okay." Rory slid off the bed and sluggishly headed out the door.

"Aren't you going to bring a change of clothes with you?" Kate asked, even though it was too late since Rory was already in the bathroom.

She got off the bed and slowly moved to the closet. When she opened it, she found that there were no dirty clothes in the hamper. Before overanalyzing what she just saw, she grabbed a shirt off a hanger and walked over to the dresser. She pulled open the top drawer for her daughter's clean underwear and the third drawer for a pair of shorts. Then, she carefully headed to the bathroom and opened the door to find Rory sitting cross-legged on the toilet.

"Aren't you going to shower?" Kate questioned as she set the clothes on the sink.

"Right," Rory replied, getting onto her feet and over to the shower.

Kate watched her daughter turn the water on before stepping out of the bathroom. She walked as fast as she could to her room, not wanting to pull on her newest wound like she did a few times. She picked up her laptop and opened it up. Once on Google, she searched mood disorders. She read through most of them until her eyes couldn't focus on the letters anymore and she heard the shower turn off. After shutting her laptop, she dragged her feet to the bathroom and leaned against the wall next to the doorway, patiently waiting.

Within the next few minutes, Rory walked out of the bathroom and directly to her room, ignoring her mom the whole time.

Kate followed her and watched her climb into bed. "I really wish you would trust and talk to me."

"I can't," Rory whispered as she looked up at her tapestry tacked to the ceiling. "I can't."

Kate hurried over to the bed and sat down by her daughter. "Why can't you, Rory?" She took a large and deep inhale. "Do you want to see Trevor?" Rory's head immediately turned toward her. "I'll let him come over. I want to go get a few things from the store since we are running out of stuff to eat and drink. I'll let you two be alone for a very short amount of time."

Rory slowly sat up against her headboard, keeping her eyes glued onto her mom's. She hadn't seen Trevor in days. She couldn't find the right state of mind to say something to him. There honestly was nothing to talk about and she knew he would question her actions.

"Call him," Kate murmured as she ran her hand down Rory's hair. "I'll wait to leave until he's here. And since you're more alert, I might visit a friend, giving you guys even more time. That's a maybe, though."

…..

Trevor finished putting his wallet and phone back in his pocket when the apartment door closed. He understood why Ms. Beckett asked him to empty his pockets because she didn't want Rory using drugs and honestly, neither did he. At least not when she was in her recent state of mind. He thought the drugs and alcohol made it worse, though Rory thought it helped block something…

He picked up the piece of paper on the table and looked at the number Ms. Beckett wrote down. It was her cell phone and the address that she would most likely be at if she wasn't home in an hour. He smiled when he saw Castle's name in parentheses. It was obvious Rory didn't want her mom with anyone and given her condition, he could comprehend her feelings. With his mom and stepdad, he didn't want anyone else in the picture for a while, he needed more time to heal, but Dave was a good man. He cared and so did Castle.

After placing the piece of paper in his back pocket, he headed to Rory's room. Upon pushing the door completely open, he noticed her cutting pictures out of magazines.

"Hey, beautiful," he said just above a whisper. "What are you doing?"

Rory frantically put all the cut out magazine pictures into one of her sketchbooks and closed it. She pushed the books to the edge of her bed before turning her head toward Trevor.

"Alright?" he questioned as he took a seat by her legs. When he got a small smile from Rory, he leaned in and gently kissed her, sensing her need for closeness. "How come you haven't been answering my texts?"

"Busy," she answered with a continuous nod. She stopped moving her head when she noticed his worried stare. "Making something."

"What have you been making? Can I see?"

"Not yet," she whispered and shook her head. She slammed her hand on one of her sketchbooks when he attempted to open it.

"I promise I won't judge."

"No."

"_Okay_. Do you want to watch a movie or something?"

"Want to get something for me?"

"Sure, what?"

Her fingers slowly trailed up his arm and onto his shoulder. His eyes followed her fingers until they were no longer in his view. She lightly played with the hairs at the nape of his neck. She leaned toward his ear and breathlessly spoke. "Booze."

He carefully grabbed her wrist and pulled the hand that was giving him chills to her side. "No, Rory. That stuff only made you worse."

"No, it fucking didn't," she furiously growled.

"Yes, it did. And I'm sorry, but I can't just get that for you."

"Fuck off, then."

He paused, trying to make sense of her sudden anger. "Don't say that," he spoke in a sorrowful manner.

"Fuck off." She intensely glared at him, anger and disappointment apparent in her eyes and voice.

Trevor hesitantly got off the bed and slowly receded to the door. "I love you, Rory and I can't let you drink when you're in this mental state of mind."

"Get out," Rory hostilely screamed, pointing to the door. When Trevor was out of her room, she threw herself onto her pillow and pulled the covers over her head.

Nobody understood her.

Trevor stayed next to Rory's bedroom door for a few minutes. He knew she was only angry because something was going on in her head that she wouldn't voice aloud. He knew she loved him, but it was really hard to believe it after she yelled at him like that. But he knew it was something that would pass, at least he hoped.

As he walked out of the apartment and down the stairs, he opened his phone to the picture of him and Rory on the trampoline at his uncle's. She was so lively and positive then.

What the hell happened in such a short amount of time?

Once he was outside and had been walking around for a while, he made a random right turn and his phone started to vibrate in his pocket. He quickly pulled it out to see that he had a new text from Rory and it was a video. He glanced around to find that he was kind of surrounded by people, so he stepped off to the side to watch the video.

Rory's phone looked like it was set on her computer desk while she recorded it. He had to turn the volume up and pay close attention since her voice was so quiet and low. When her words finally registered, he almost dropped the phone.

He just listened to her goodbye forever message.

At an immense speed, he pulled out the crumpled up paper out of his back pocket. He was about to dial the number until he saw that he was close to the address. Without any thought as to the crowd, he ran.

It took him quite a while to find the correct address and when he did, he ran up to the doorman. "Does a Richard Castle live here?"

"Yes. May I ask who's wishing to visit him?"

"Please, this is a life or death situation. I need to speak with the woman that arrived here not too long ago. She came to visit him. Please," Trevor spoke so fast that he wasn't sure as to what he just said. His eyes were already filled with tears that illustrated his fear and he need to get to Ms. Beckett.

"Alright, alright." The doorman held the door open for Trevor and he ran inside.

Instead of waiting for an elevator, he sprinted up the stairs, taking two at a time. When he was on the correct floor that the piece of paper had, he opened the door and stepped into an empty hall. It took too long for his liking to find the correct apartment number and when he did, he basically pounded on the door until it opened.

"Trevor?" Castle questioned with a slightly raised eyebrow. He could see the boy's tears in his eyes, so he attempted to usher him inside.

"I need to show Ms. Beckett this video," Trevor replied, unlocking his phone to the video and hovering his thumb over the play button.

"Beckett," Castle said over his shoulder.

Within seconds, Kate was at the door. She took a quick glimpse of Castle before stepping closer to Trevor.

"What's wrong?" she asked since she could sense his distress.

"I was closer to here then your place. Just watch it," Trevor nervously whispered. He pressed the play button and held his phone out to Ms. Beckett and Castle. Once it ended, he looked up to see panicked expressions on both of them.

"Let's go," Castle said because he could tell Kate was still trying to wrap her mind around what she just saw and he knew she couldn't find her voice.

…..

Kate roughly pushed the apartment door open and dropped her purse on the floor. Her abdominal wound was really hurting, but she would worry about it after she got to Rory.

Once in front of her Rory's room, she quickly opened the door to find nobody in sight. She spun around to see Castle and Trevor directly behind her. Then, she stepped further into the room and noticed cut out magazine photos scattered on the floor and the sketchbooks Rory had earlier opened.

"I'll go look in the other rooms," Trevor anxiously announced before taking off.

"What are these?" Kate questioned herself aloud as she turned the sketchbook pages. All the photographs didn't make any sense to her. It was Castle's slight gasp that made her attention go on him. "What?"

"Every single one of these," Castle speedily murmured, turning the pages in one of the sketchbooks. "Every picture and word has to do with death."

Just like that, Kate's heart plummeted to the bottom of her stomach. Her breathing quickly picked up speed until her eyes fell on a liquor bottle. She reached for it and grabbed onto it, regretting the motion because of her scar. It was a half empty bottle of vodka.

"Mallorie!" she yelled with a lot of terror in her voice. She was about to stand back on her feet until Castle's arm was on her shoulder.

"I think she's under the bed," Castle spoke at a small whisper, afraid he might frighten Rory if she was where he thought her to be.

Kate glanced back at him before bending down on all fours. She slowly lowered herself, so she could look under the foot of the bed. When Rory was in her view, a huge wave of relief washed over her.

"Mallorie, what's going on?"

"I didn't-" Trevor silenced himself when he saw Castle's hand up in his direction. He nodded his head, showing that he understood to be silent.

"They're out there," Rory distantly stated, curling herself more into a ball than she already was.

"Who's out here?" Kate questioned with a lot of confusion.

"They're after me."

"Who?"

"Them. Something bad will happen."

Kate watched as Rory brought her hands to her ears and squeezed her eyes shut. If only her daughter was a little closer, she would attempt to pull her out. Looked like words were her only tool. "Nothing bad is going to happen. I promise."

"You don't know that!" Rory screamed, causing Kate to be startled. "They don't talk to you! They are after _me._ They always have been," she stammered as tears started to slide out of her eyes. "It's almost time," she mumbled to herself, but loud enough for Kate to hear.

"Almost time for what?" Kate nervously asked as she bit down on her bottom lip. Her daughter was scaring the living hell out of her, but she needed to keep her talking. She needed to know what was going on.

"The end," Rory nonchalantly answered, bringing her eyes onto her mom.

"Whose?"

"Mine."

Words were swarming around in Kate's mind, but she couldn't find the ability to form a coherent statement with them. Her daughter just admitted that her death was coming soon. How was she supposed to respond to that?

"Your end is not coming," Castle replied when he saw the look on Kate's face. He leaned down, so he could see Rory. "None of us will let that happen. Your mom, Trevor, your grandpa, and me, we won't let anything bad happen to you."

"I can't fight them," Rory cried, looking into her mom's eyes. "I can't."

"We will help you," Castle protectively replied. "Where is this all happening, Rory?" He noticed Kate's quick glance and a thank smile.

When there was no reply, Trevor finally decided to speak up.

"It's happening inside her head." All eyes, except Rory's were on him, which made it harder for him to explain. "This sort of conversation, um, happened at my cousin's when we ran off together. It wasn't this scary, though."

"You neglected to tell me?" Kate questioned with a snarl as she sat up to look at the boy.

"You were under a lot of stress in the hospital. I didn't want to add to that."

"That is _not_ something to keep from me. If she talked about her life ending, I think that is a hell of a lot more important than what my condition was."

"I know and I'm sorry, but when were at my cousin's I, uh, searched stuff about depression."

Castle turned his head over at Kate and saw that she was fuming with anger, but her concern over Rory was keeping it under control. His eyes fell back on Trevor who was nervously trying to find the right thing to say.

"What did you find?" Castle questioned to make the boy's mind get back on track.

"There are a lot of kinds of depression. Lots. And… psychotic depression stuck out the most," Trevor answered with a low tone, staring at his lap. "I asked my mom about it and she said people with psychotic depression have all the other depression symptoms like hopelessness and then some."

"Like?" Kate asked, peeking back under the bed to find Rory apprehensively biting her fingernails.

"Hallucinations, delusions, out of touch with reality, anger for no reason, umm, sleeping during the day, staying to themselves, and neglecting physical appearance."

Kate's eyes widened. Most of them described Rory. She honestly had no clue if her daughter was hallucinating or having delusions, but it all made sense.

"How is it treated?" Castle inquired.

"I think in a hospital setting, something like that, but I'm not sure," Trevor answered with a slight shrug.

"I'll call her psychiatrist, but after I get her out from under here," Kate announced as she laid down on her stomach to look at Rory. "Come on, kid. Let's get out of here."

"I can't. I can't," Rory shook her head and scooted back a bit when her mom's hand reached for her.

"I will protect you, Mallorie. Nothing will happen to you when I'm here. Do you understand?"

"Nobody will let anything bad happen, Rory. We promise," Castle interjected with a soothing tone.

Kate got herself onto her knees and looked over at Castle and Trevor. She stood up on her feet and walked away from the bed. "Can you two lift it, so I can get to her?"

"Do you think that's a good idea? What if she… freaks out?" Trevor anxiously inquired, keeping his eyes glued on the bed.

"I don't like that she's under there, obviously drunk because half of that booze in gone, and alone. If she does have a form of depression, I don't want her to feel alone," Kate murmured, so Rory couldn't hear.

"Okay," Trevor obliged and walked over to the bed. He nodded at Castle and they both lifted it, so it would lie on its side. They kept it in the position as Kate rushed down to Rory who curled into a ball immediately after the bed was no longer over her.

"Stop!" Rory screamed.

Kate gently slid her arms, one under Rory's head and the other under her legs to lift her up. She sharply bit down on her lip when her scar hurt, but she had to move Rory away from this spot and she did.

Once she situated Rory against the wall, she sat down beside her and pulled her into her arms. "I won't let anything bad happen to you. None of us will. Do you understand me?" she questioned as the side of her face rested on top of Rory's head.

"I can't," Rory managed to say through her foggy mind.

"You're not alone in this. I won't let you be. None of us will." Kate tightened her arms around her daughter's body that was heavily rested on her. "I have a feeling you don't really sleep while you're in here all day, so let's go lay you down and you can, okay?"

"No," Rory answered as she shook her head.

"I'll stay with you," Trevor added in, getting Rory's stare to fall on him. "You should really sleep." He helped Castle set the bed back how it was before walking over to Rory and bending down to her level. "Come on," he said with a slight smile as he held his hands out to her. When she hesitantly took them, he pulled her onto her feet and guided her out of the room.

They entered the living room and he sat down on the couch with her. Since her head instantly rested on his chest, his arm snaked around her waist. He securely held her, afraid that her thoughts would take over again. He didn't want anything to happen to her, and if he could prevent it, then he would do whatever it took to.

"He's really good to her," Castle stated his observation when the two teens were out of the room for a few moments.

"You're really good with Rory too. You care so much, Castle, and I could never thank you enough."

Castle took a deep inhale, debating on whether or not to say what he wanted to. He decided he should given what just happened. "I care about you, Kate, and she's your daughter. She's who you would die for right away if need be. I can't just not be concerned over my… uh, partner's daughter. You would be the same way if the roles were reversed."

Kate gently placed her hand on his cheek. "Thank you, Castle."

"Always."

...

_"A falling star,  
><em>

_Least I fall alone._

_I can't explain what you can't explain._

_You're finding things that you didn't know.  
><em>

_I look at you with such disdain.  
><em>

_The All-American Rejects - It Ends Tonight  
><em>

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: Always.<strong>  
><em>


	13. Chapter 13

"Alright, Rory, we have fifteen minutes left. Is there anything you wish to talk about?" Cheryl questioned as she fiddled with her pen, observing the troubled teen in front of her.

The girl continued to spin the ring on her thumb and stare at her lap. Most of their sessions were like this. Quiet.

This was the first time Cheryl had ever come across a challenge. All of her other clients were open, they wanted help, but Rory was different. It was as if someone or something was telling her not to speak, not to gain control over her own thoughts. It was quite frightening to witness the facial expressions after asking a question, like Rory wanted to speak up, but there were battles being shot back and forth in her mind.

Cheryl lightly tapped her pen on her notebook. "Your mom told me that you feel as if someone is after you. Can you describe that feeling for me?"

She watched as Rory gradually lifted her head and looked at the clock on the wall. Poor girl looked like she hadn't slept or ate in months given the dark circles under her eyes and pink surrounding them. It was still too soon to draw a conclusion as to what was causing Rory distress, but Cheryl knew. Her specialty was mood disorders, mainly depression, and she knew Rory had a form of it, but she couldn't distinguish the fine line as to which.

Cheryl pursed her lips together, debating whether or not to let Rory out a few minutes early. They did get some progress within the first twenty minutes, but once she asked about the commands Rory would receive, the girl shut down.

"Hm, how about we stop there for today?"

Rory slightly nodded her head and slid off the chair. She kept her head toward the floor as she placed her hand on the door handle.

"Very good progress today, Rory. Let's try to keep it up for next week," Cheryl said with a gentle smile as she stood up. She watched Rory walk out of the room and into the waiting area.

Kate had to grab onto Rory's arm to keep her from leaving without her. "Hold on a second, okay?" she questioned, slowly releasing her hold on Rory. She turned toward Cheryl. "Anything?"

"She opened up a little, but I can't discuss what she said because it's confidential. However, I can let you know that I haven't come up with a diagnosis yet."

Kate anxiously ran her fingers through her hair and held it behind her ear. "How long until you do?" she quietly asked.

"Possibly within the next couple sessions. I'm waiting for her to get comfortable. Every client has a different pace," Cheryl said with an encouraging grin.

"Alright. Thank you," Kate nodded, watching Cheryl step back into her office and close the door. She spun around to find Rory nowhere in sight, which made her start to have a panic attack.

Once she stepped into the hall that led out of the building, she saw Rory opening the door to the staircase. Since she couldn't run yet, because of her annoying wound, she walked as fast as she could to get to the stairs. Just as she was about push through the door, she pressed the down button next to the elevator to see if it would open right away. Luckily, it did and she rushed inside instead of using the stairs. Then, she hit the first floor as fast as possible.

She impatiently waited with her head against the wall to get to the bottom floor. When the doors finally slid open, she darted out, gritting her teeth in the process because she pulled at the wound.

Her eyes deliberately scanned the area until they fell on the entrance to the stairway. As she was walking over, Rory stepped out from behind the door.

Kate let out a loud sigh of relief. She didn't want Rory to run off because she was worried something might happen. Ever since Rory spoke about her life ending, she couldn't stand to be away for more than ten minutes. She would not lose her daughter, ever.

Rory casually walked by without even looking up. She came to a standstill when she felt someone's hand on her shoulder. Her heart picked up speed because she thought they finally had her, but when she turned her head to see her mom, she relaxed a little.

"Where do you think you're going?" Kate asked with a slightly raised eyebrow.

Rory sluggishly shook her head, bringing her gaze back toward her feet. "Nowhere," she mumbled to herself.

"Right." Kate placed her arm around Rory's shoulders to guide her outdoors. Once they stepped into the sun, the heat hit them hard. "Let's hail a cab and go home where it's cool," Kate announced, even though she was certain she wouldn't get a reply.

While Kate stood by the curb to try and track down a cab, Rory began to mindlessly trail off. It wasn't until she was several yards away from her mom that she saw Trevor in the middle of the road. Her mouth opened to yell for him to get out of the way because a car was coming, but it was too late.

"No!" Rory screamed, bolting into the middle of the street only for arms to wrap around her torso. The arms felt like lead weighing her down and she couldn't get out of them, even though she tried her hardest. "Let me go!" she cried as tears poured out of her eyes. She kept attempting to squirm free and get to the spot she saw Trevor at.

"Rory, relax," Kate whispered into her daughter's ear as she pulled her toward the sidewalk.

"He's dead," Rory whimpered as her body collapsed, but her mom's grasp held her up. "He's dead."

"Nobody's dead," Kate replied with a lot of confusion. Her eyes widened when she figured Rory witnessed something unreal. "What did you see?" she calmly murmured into her ear.

"Mom, he got hit!"

"No, Rory, nobody was hit. I don't see anyone in the street. Do you?"

After her mom's arms loosened and let her free, Rory stepped beside a parked car and peered down the street. The sight of Trevor's dead body on the cement made her dart forward without thinking about the oncoming cars.

Kate just grabbed Rory's arms and pulled her back before she was hit. Her heart was drumming loudly in her ears as she held her crying daughter tight.

"We need to go home," she managed to say through her anxiety.

"He's dead," Rory blubbered as her head rested below her mom's chin.

"Who?"

"Trev."

"He's not dead. He's very much alive and probably waiting for you back at home," Kate slowly whispered with her hand against the side of Rory's head, holding her close. She almost saw her daughter get hit by a car twice in under five minutes. How was she supposed to calm her heart rate down after that?

Kate attempted, and succeeded with getting Rory's phone out of her back pocket. She held it in one of her hands, keeping an arm still wrapped around Rory's small frame. It took her a couple minutes, but she got to Trevor's name and hit his number. She put it on speakerphone and held it by Rory's ear.

"Hey," Trevor happily greeted on the other end.

"See, he's not dead," Kate murmured to Rory.

"What?" Trevor blurted out his question.

"Can you meet us at the apartment? I'll explain there," Kate answered into the receiver.

"Yeah, give me a few minutes," Trevor replied. "See you then."

After ending the call, Kate tightly hugged Rory. "Let's go home." She used her hands on Rory's shoulders to guide her onto the sidewalk. After, she spun Rory around to notice furrowed brows and a bewildered expression on her face. "What are you thinking about?"

"H-he's not dead?" Rory sounded like she was asking herself the question while staring at the sidewalk.

"No, he's not," Kate answered as tilted Rory's chin up, so she could see into her eyes. "Whatever you saw wasn't real."

"Wasn't real," Rory whispered to herself, rubbing her temple with the palm of her left hand. The voices were fighting against her words, trying to convince her that what she saw was real, but her mom said it wasn't. She needed to believe her.

"That's right. Everything's going to be okay. We can go home and Trevor will be there for you. I promise."

…..

Upon seeing Trevor standing by the apartment door, Rory dashed forward. He welcomed her with a tight, warm hug as she went on her tiptoes to wrap her arms around his neck. She closed her eyes and took in the smell of his cologne. Her mind was at ease since he was in her presence.

After seeing what she saw, it was hard to believe what was real or not. She knew most things she saw weren't actually real, well the ones that were tremendously trippy. But what she witnessed earlier looked too realistic and terrifying to distinguish if it actually happened or not.

"What happened, Rory?" Trevor whispered his question into her ear. He let his chin rest on her shoulder, looking up to see Ms. Beckett by them.

"I think she saw you die," Kate murmured, making sure Rory couldn't hear since she was afraid it would trigger something else.

"Oh man." Trevor held Rory as close to him as possible, trying to take away the pain that her hallucination caused. "I love you," he gently hummed into her ear.

"I love you too," Rory breathlessly responded, only loud enough for him to hear.

Kate smiled to herself as she unlocked the apartment door and stepped inside. She slipped off her flats and dropped her keys in the bowl. She walked over to the fridge and pulled out the ice water, giving Rory and Trevor a few minutes to get inside.

She loved the way he knew how to treat Rory while she was in her current state of mind. He didn't press for information and try too hard to help. Instead, he just made himself available to be at the house whenever Rory needed him. He loved her and Kate couldn't ask for anyone better for Rory to be with, well, maybe someone that didn't party as much, but she could get past that… or try to.

When she turned around after taking a sip of her water, she noticed that they weren't inside yet. She found this odd, so she pulled the apartment door open enough to find Rory and Trevor in the same spot she left them, but they were sitting on the floor.

"What are you two doing?" Kate inquired with a raised brow.

"She refuses to go in," Trevor answered with a slight shrug.

Kate slowly squatted down in front of Rory and turned her head toward her. "Why don't you want to come inside?" she asked.

"I can't," Rory distantly answered, averting her mom's stare.

"Why?"

Rory turned her head, so her eyes would fall on Trevor. When he looked down at her, she sluggishly shook her head, hoping he would comprehend like he always seemed to. A few seconds later and his eyes widened because he understood.

"'They' are in there," Trevor stammered like he was still trying to figure out if that was what Rory meant. When he saw her slight nod, he repeated himself to Ms. Beckett. "The people or whatever she thinks are after her, are in there."

"I don't like the idea of you guys being out here all day," Kate responded as she gently pushed some of Rory's hair behind her left ear.

"I can take her to the park or something," Trevor suggested with a warm smile. He shifted his gaze down the hall when he saw Castle making his way over with two coffees. He let out a stifled laugh as his head shook. How people still drank coffee when it was hot out was beyond him.

Kate turned her head when she noticed Trevor looking to the side. She smiled when she saw her partner with coffee. He told her that he would be there for her and Rory and he definitely was.

"Hey, Castle," she greeted before setting her gaze back onto Rory. She let out a loud sigh. "Go out with Trevor for a little while." She shifted her eyes to fall on the teen boy. "Don't be gone for longer than two hours, okay?"

"Got it," Trevor nodded as he slid his arm out from behind Rory. He got himself onto his feet before helping her onto hers. After checking the time on his phone to see when they would have to be back, he took hold of Rory's hand and led her toward the elevator.

"You're letting her go out?" Castle questioned as he followed Kate into her apartment.

"She's with Trevor and I know he won't let anything bad happen. As much as I hate that she's out of my sight for longer than five minutes, I can handle it."

"Are you sure?"

"Castle…"

"Sorry," Castle apologized as he set the coffee onto the kitchen table. He decided to change the topic. "When do you get to return to work?"

"Not for another few weeks. As much as I'd like to go back, I can't because of Rory. I'd be worried out of my mind and killers would probably end up getting away. I definitely cannot let that happen."

"Understandable," Castle nodded to himself as he pulled out one of the coffees.

He wouldn't know what to do if Alexis claimed that her life was ending soon. He would probably lock her in the bedroom until she was okay and make a psychiatrist see her every other day. The thought of his partner losing her daughter when she already lost her mother broke his heart. Of course he would be there for her, but he knew that whatever he tried to do to cheer her up wouldn't matter or work.

"What are you thinking about?" Kate questioned as she cautiously took a sip of her coffee.

"Nothing much."

Kate narrowed her eyes at her partner and he averted her stare. Since he wasn't going to speak up, she let it go.

"So… how was Rory's session today?" Castle inquired to get away from his dark thoughts.

"Cheryl said that there was a breakthrough, but she can't really tell me what was said, which I hate, but understand."

"Client confidentiality," Castle nodded, illustrating that he knew what she was speaking of.

"Exactly. It's annoying, but whatever."

"Did she come to a conclusion as to what's going on with her?"

"Not yet," Kate answered with a frown while looking down at her coffee cup. She hated not knowing what disorder her daughter was carrying. If everyone knew, it would be so much easier to help and treat it.

"Bummer," Castle mumbled, tapping his fingers on the lid to his cup.

"Tell me about it. I mean, she seemed okay for a few days, but after getting outside today, she saw something."

"What did she see?" Castle leaned against the kitchen counter and observed his partner.

She was tired, he could tell she hadn't slept in awhile and it was most likely due to the worry over her daughter. Though she looked exhausted, she was still beautiful to him. He wished he could speak it out loud and confess his feelings toward her, but now was not the time. It would probably be awhile for his chance to come around since there was so much going on with Rory. Three years had passed from the day they first met, and he could wait five more if he had to. He wouldn't run off with someone again, like he did with Gina last summer.

When Kate eventually spoke, he brought his full attention back onto her.

"I'm not exactly sure what she saw, but it revolved around seeing Trevor dead. Castle, she almost got hit by a car twice because she was trying to run into the street," Kate anxiously said while biting down on the corner of her lip. "It was so scary," she admitted.

"She's okay, though. You stopped her, right?"

"I almost wasn't fast enough. I really need to heal, now."

"Give it some more time and you will be able to run around and workout," Castle said with a grin to try and lighten the mood.

Kate playfully hit his shoulder. "Stop imagining me doing that." She watched him sluggishly nod to himself. "Castle, I said stop," she threatened this time.

"Sorry," he let out a stifled laugh.

"Right."

"Uh, back to what Rory saw, did you tell her psychiatrist?"

"Not yet because we just got home not too long ago."

"Want to watch a movie?" he nonchalantly shifted the conversation, hoping she would say yes to get rid of the recent memory of Rory almost getting hit by a car.

Kate looked down at her feet, debating whether or not to sit down and watch a movie with her partner. She wanted to be fully alert just in case her phone rang and something happened with Rory. But a movie did sound good, it might help get her mind off reality for a little while, which would be great.

"Okay," she finally agreed and led the way to the living room.

…..

Trevor didn't exactly take Rory to the park like he wanted to. Instead, he took her back to his place since his mom wasn't home. Besides, it was extremely hot out and he knew how easily Rory would burn in the sun.

He guided her into his room and sat her on the bed. Even with the central air circulating, it still wasn't cool enough for him, so he turned his fan on and pointed it toward the bed. A smile made its way across his lips when he saw Rory's wavy hair blowing freely.

"What?" Rory questioned his smile with a great deal of confusion.

"You're beautiful. That's all," he answered with a slight grin that made her smile. "I wrote you a song."

Rory's head slightly tilted to the side. She deliberately scanned the five guitars on her boyfriend's wall. Two were acoustic and the rest were electric. She knew one of these was his dad's before he passed away, but she never found out which and didn't want to ask in fear it would hurt him.

She watched him take the darker acoustic guitar down and hold it in his lap. He sat down in his desk chair and rolled it, so he was directly in front of her. The happiness that was radiating off him was hard not to absorb. And when he began to play a very beautiful chord progression, the joy that came over her was overpowering her inner thoughts.

His fingers switched between chords and notes so fast that it was mesmerizing for her. He was also humming, probably to keep himself in time or because he had a lyric melody laid out in his head, but no words quite yet.

Rory slowly closed her eyes and rested against his blankets, taking in the amazing music she was hearing. She knew that he could play the guitar extremely well, but never did she think he could play like that. Yeah, Tony told her that Trevor started when he was seven years old when his dad taught him, but she couldn't always believe Tony; he loved to tell lies. And she also knew that he was in a punk band that he wouldn't let her listen to yet because they "sucked." Hopefully after today, he would let her listen to a few songs they wrote because she could go for something new.

After five minutes of letting the music travel throughout her whole body, it stopped. She kept her eyes shut even when she sensed movement on the bed. When she felt Trevor's lips against her own, she smiled against them. This was the first time in months that she felt happy and it was all due to him.

Trevor's hand gently held the side of Rory's face. His thumb softly ran over her cheek as he pulled away from their kiss to look into her captivating blue eyes.

"I love you, Rory," he sincerely said, holding her stare. He saw her eyes get watery and lost within seconds. Worry struck him fast and he didn't know what to do. "Rory?"

"I can't," Rory murmured as she slowly shook her head.

"We don't have to do anything," he attempted to reassure her.

"I'm so weak."

"No, you're not. You're one of the strongest girls I know. You've been through a lot when you were younger. You told me, remember?" He searched for the happiness she had in her eyes seconds ago while waiting for a reply. When he didn't get one, he continued to talk to calm his own nerves. "Everything that is going on in your head isn't real. I know it might be hard to distinguish the differences, but it's not. I love you so much and you should tell those fuckers that are making you think other wise to fuck off." He observed a tear fall down Rory's face before he wiped it away with his thumb.

"You've made me weak."

"What?" he squeaked since he was caught off guard. "No, I didn't. Whatever made you think that is wrong."

"Love… it made me weak."

"Says who?"

"In here," Rory tapped her temple with her middle finger.

Trevor waited for her finger to move away before he kissed the spot. "This didn't happen to you when you were in love with Kieran. And I know you were because you told me. That hurt to hear, but as long as you were happy, Rory, I didn't care. I can't be the reason…"

"No," she shouted to herself, propping herself onto her elbows. "It's not you," she said while looking down at her lap.

"Exactly," he replied with a side grin.

Rory trailed her finger down his jawline, taking in the texture of his scruff. She wasn't normally one to like facial hair, but a little on Trevor made him look sexier. She let the corners of her lips lift up a little.

"I'll be right back," she slid off the bed and walked to the door.

Before she stepped into large hall since his loft was huge, at least to her, she spun around to look at him. She loved him and her mom, she really did, but it was an overwhelming feeling and hard to handle.

"I love you," she announced as she receded into the hall.

"I love you too." She heard Trevor happily say back.

She entered the bathroom and shut the door, locking it in the process. She didn't really have to relieve herself, but she did come in here with a purpose. The purpose to get rid of everything she felt, including the voices.

…..

"_Rory!" Kate screamed from down the path in Central Park. She just witnessed her seven year old flip over the handle bars on her bike. She didn't want to let go of the seat and allow Rory to go on her own without training wheels, but Rory pleaded, so she obliged._

_She ran as fast as she could to her little girl and moved the bike into the grass. She lifted Rory onto her feet and knelt down in front of her._

_Rory wasn't crying or anything. Instead, she looked frightened and paralyzed._

"_Rory?" Kate questioned as she held her daughter's hands. There were cuts all down her arms and a great amount of blood, which didn't really make her queasy like it would have years ago. _

_Since she wasn't getting an answer, she unbuckled Rory's helmet and pulled it off her head. Her fingers ran through her daughter's wavy hair to make sure her head didn't crack open. Helmet or not, it was still possible, definitely since she saw Rory's head hit the pathway._

"_Hey, you're okay," Kate whispered with her lips against Rory's forehead and hand at the back of her neck._

_This was the first time she saw Rory get hurt. Yeah, she'd see small scratches and bruises on her after school, but nothing like this. Her daughter had large cuts on her arms and some scattered across her face, but she wasn't crying, which scared her more than witnessing and hearing the fall._

_She held Rory at arms length and checked her over. Since there were little rocks stuck to her daughter's sweaty arms and legs, she gently wiped them off, afraid she would cause more pain._

_Remembering that she had a small bottle of peroxide, Band-Aids, and two cotton balls in her purse, made her roughly pull it off her shoulder. She dropped it by her feet and scavenged for the items. When she got them all, she set them so they would be on top of all her stuff. She opened the peroxide first and soaked the cotton ball with it. Once she was sure she had enough, she looked back up at Rory to find a bewildered expression across her small face._

"_What, sweetheart?"_

_She knew Rory was fighting every urge in her to not cry. It wasn't hard to see that was what her daughter was doing because she was trembling in her spot. _

"_It's okay to cry, Rory. If I were you, I'd be bawling my eyes out," she said in a gentle, soothing manner._

_She observed Rory's face turn a few shades redder than it already was from being sunburned. Her daughter hated crying in front of people, even herself. She knew this because whenever Rory did cry, she would get extremely frustrated and throw things around the house._

"_Hey," she murmured, locking her eyes with Rory's clear blue ones. "You don't need to pretend to be okay to make me feel less horrible for letting go of the seat." She let her eyes shift to her daughter's hands that were clenched into tight, round fists, making the skin near her knuckles white. "You don't have to pretend." She gently ran her fingers over her daughter's hands._

_Within seconds of saying her last sentence, tears began to run down Rory's cheeks. She pulled Rory's small body into her arms and gently held her close. Hearing her daughter's painful cries broke her heart, but she managed to keep her arms wrapped around her._

"_It's okay," she whispered into Rory's ear, kissing the side of her head shortly after. "You don't have to pretend with me, Rory. I love you no matter what."_

_After what felt like hours, Rory pulled out of her arms and wiped her wet eyes. She kept her stare toward her feet, which made Kate lift her chin up, so they were looking into each other's eyes._

"_Did you hear what I just said to you?" she inquired with an encouraging smile to help Rory speak up after feeling disappointed in herself._

_Rory wiped her nose with the back of her left hand, the one that didn't hurt as bad. She gradually nodded her head._

"_What did I say?" Kate questioned as Rory's blue, but red eyes from crying glued back onto hers._

_Rory hesitated to repeat her mother's words, but she knew she meant them._

"_Don't pretend," Rory slowly said._

"_That's right," Kate replied with a soft smile. "You don't have to pretend to be okay with anyone that loves you. That includes me, Grandpa, Maddie, Lanie, Esposito, and Ryan. You don't need to pretend."_

_Rory sluggishly nodded her head as new tears poured out of her eyes. _

"_You're okay, kid," Kate whispered as she placed her hand on the back of Rory's neck and kissed her forehead. _

...

_"I'm going crazy,  
><em>

_'Cause there are things in the streets I don't believe.  
><em>

_So we'll pretend it's alright,  
><em>

_And stay in for the night.  
><em>

_Oh what a world.  
><em>

_I'll keep you safe here with me."  
><em>

_A Day to Remember - Have Faith In Me  
><em>

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: Mini writer's block for the beginning. Hope you enjoyed it. :)<strong>  
><em>


	14. Chapter 14

**_AN: Trigger Warning - Self-Harm_**

* * *

><p>It was getting to the end of the movie when Kate couldn't keep her eyes open anymore. Missing the last part of any movie always frustrated her and she needed to stay awake, but she was so tired. If she just closed her heavy eyes for a few seconds…<p>

Castle reached for his glass of water on the coffee table while catching a glimpse of Kate. He took a sip of his drink as he turned his head toward her. A small smile formed across his lips when he saw that she was asleep, her head slightly drooped to the side.

As he was setting his glass back on the coffee table, he grabbed the remote and turned the volume down. He had seen _Ghostbusters_ a million times, so he knew how it ended. Besides, he knew that she needed sleep and he didn't want to disturb her, but he also didn't know what to do while she was asleep.

Since he could tell that the couch was about to eat her iPhone, he grabbed it and set it on the coffee table. He turned his head back toward her and smiled at how peaceful she looked. Seeing how she was curled up to the pillow, he got off the couch and walked over to the other one. Once he got hold of the blanket, he brought it back to her and gracefully draped it over her.

He was very tempted to gently push back the little hairs sticking behind her ear, but he didn't want to wake her. He also didn't want to come off as creepy while she was asleep because that would make things a little awkward.

He gradually sat back down on the couch, trying not to disrupt her because she needed sleep. Given the events with Rory, he couldn't find the heart to wake her to say that he was leaving. The again, he didn't want to leave quite yet. He liked being here, in her home with her. Plus, if he went back to his place, there really wouldn't be anything to do since Alexis was hanging with friends and his mother was out of town.

At least he had his phone and the movie on the TV to pass time until Kate woke up. Before he let himself get engrossed in _Ghostbusters_ again, he let his eyes fall on her once more. She was beautiful, she really was. She was definitely Rory's source of good looks, though they didn't look exactly alike. He wondered what else they had in common besides looks and their deeper toned voices…

He hesitantly got off the couch and made his way to the hall to look over the photographs hanging on the walls. Most of them were of Rory when she was younger. He smiled at the one Kate told him the story behind before he let his eyes travel across the other pictures.

Just as he was about to stop, since he felt like he was standing here for a long time, he noticed a photo where Rory looked about thirteen years old. It seemed like Kate was forcing her to stay seated on her lap on a couch. Maddie and Jim were sitting next to them and everyone was laughing. This must have been the year before Rory started to act up. She still dressed the same, maybe not as dark, but similar nonetheless.

He really wished he could ask questions to Kate, to learn more about Rory, but he didn't want to overstep. Definitely not, considering the situation.

…..

_You don't have to pretend to be okay with anyone that loves you._

But Rory couldn't believe her mom's words. She couldn't. If she didn't pretend then everyone would smother her with attention and that, surprisingly, wasn't what she wanted. She wanted to not be a burden on anyone anymore, especially her mom. She also wanted the voices to be gone and the only way to get rid of them was to listen to their request.

It was always the same thing they told her to do. No matter how often she tried to bury it, it always came back. So maybe if she finally followed through with what they commanded – no, demanded - then everything would be okay. Everything would go back to normal and she wouldn't be a bother to anyone.

She sluggishly slid down the bathroom cabinet that held towels and whatnot. The room was so white and clean. And here she was about to ruin it.

Before she followed through with her intention, she pulled out her phone and unlocked it. She navigated to her photos and slowly went through them.

It was hard not to smile at all the ones of her and Trevor. She was so happy in them, but not anymore. The smile she had in the photos was no longer available to wear, at least that was what her thoughts made her believe. They made her think that she couldn't be happy ever again. How could she not believe them?

The only way to contain such high hopes and joy was to listen to them. Go through with what they wanted and forget everything else because that was the only way out. A one ride ticket to the bliss of nothingness.

As she was sliding through her pictures, she came across one of her and her mom. It was taken at least six months ago, before her drug use got out of hand. She was obviously disturbing her mom in the photo because they were located at the precinct. She had her head placed by her mom's shoulder, holding the phone out so they could both be in it. The frustrated look on her mom's face and the ridiculous pursed lips she had made her smile.

If only she could go back to times like those. Where everything was so fun and she felt invincible. When it was she against the world and nobody could get in the way of what she desired. Her mom would try to stop her, but that was only a small detour until she found a different way to get what she wanted.

She placed her head against the cabinet and closed her eyes, trying to see if the mumbling would subside before she did what she came in here for.

Five minutes passed and the mumbling was still there, only louder. She finally pulled out what she had on her for the past couple of weeks. A small, sharp pocket knife.

She extended the blade and examined it close to her face, seeing a little bit of her reflection. From what she could tell, she looked like a horrible mess. She already knew that her eyelids were rimmed pink and the skin underneath was black, but she didn't know her hair was so messy. Yeah, it was naturally wavy, but she imitated a lion.

Before she got too caught up about her appearance, she lifted her right arm up. The commands she was receiving were way louder than they ever were.

So this was what they wanted?

Looked like she was going to please them for the last time.

Then a hallucination began.

It wasn't like the ones she had before. No, this one was strictly from the voices and not her messed up brain. They made it seem like the vein in her right wrist was lighting up. Must be where they wanted her to slit.

She held her wrist closer to her eyes before holding it a little ways from her nose. Right as she placed the blade against her wrist, she noticed that a vein on her left hand was lighting up too.

They wanted her to slit both?

She didn't mind, as long as she didn't pass out before it was too late.

Just when she was about to follow through, she caught a glimpse of her phone. The idea to say goodbye to everyone made this seem a lot easier, so she quickly picked it up and navigated to Twitter. She speedily typed "goodbye 3" in the text box before sending.

Her phone was placed by her left side, the knife was in her left hand, and her right wrist was against her raised knees.

It was time.

...

Right when Trevor was about to switch the song on his iPod to play his guitar along to, his bedroom door slowly swung open. He turned his head with a smile to find his mom there and not who he thought it was.

She was home already? Looked like he was in here for…

He grabbed his phone out of his pocket to see that it had been thirty minutes since he started playing random songs until Rory would return.

Rory…

"I saw Rory's shoes by the door. Is she here?" Grace questioned in a whisper since Andrew was asleep against her shoulder.

"Yeah, she went to the bathroom," Trevor answered with a nod while he opened his inbox since he had five texts and his mom walked away.

One text was from Tony asking if he wanted to paint the town tonight. Trevor shook his head with a smile. Tony always wanted to cause loads of trouble, but nothing to get arrested for, except the drug dealing. But that wasn't Trevor's problem because he was never with Tony when he sold unless he was buying, which hadn't been recently. He exited Tony's messages without sending a reply.

As he opened the text from Hayley, he became confused.

_did u see rory's last tweet?_

Since he hadn't checked his Twitter messages yet, he quickly went to them. He followed Rory and a few other close friends to his phone and when he saw her tweet, his heart plummeted to the bottom of his stomach.

He abruptly got off his chair, finding out that his sweater was caught in it. He swore under his breath as he untangled the few pieces of string. Once it was loose, he ran out of his door.

"Mom!" he yelled while running to the living room to find his mom sitting on the couch.

"What's wrong?" Grace asked while getting onto her feet.

He nervously ran one of his hands through his messy hair. "You said that Rory's shoes were still here?"

"Yeah, they are by the door. Why?"

"No, no, no," he continued to anxiously say while running to the bathroom.

He left her alone for way too long.

He stopped in front of the door and tried to open it. Since the handle was locked and Rory was in here far longer than he thought, he lifted his foot and kicked near the handle until it gave in. When he roughly shoved the door open, he saw Rory slouching against the cabinet, medium sized pools of blood gathered by her wrists that were placed on the tiled floor.

"No," he cried out as stepped over her legs and collapsed beside her. He grabbed onto her right wrist and brought a lot of pressure on it since he knew she was left handed and the cut would be deeper in this one. "Help! Help!" he faltered a high-pitch scream while placing a hand on the back of her neck and pulling her close to him.

Within seconds his mom was in the doorway, shock written all across her face.

"I'm so sorry," Trevor whispered into Rory's ear.

He was so lucky that she was still conscious and aware of everything that was going on, but he didn't know how long it would last. He could hear her staggered cries and the only thing he could do was hold her bleeding wrists to try and stop the blood.

He lifted his head toward his mom to find her on the phone.

"I just called 911. Now I'm calling her mom."

Oh god. Ms. Beckett.

She was definitely not going to let him near Rory anymore. This was all his fault. He didn't think about how long she was out of his room and he didn't follow her.

He was so stupid!

Instead of letting his guilt take over, he planted his lips against Rory's forehead to find that her eyes were closed and her body was more limp than before.

"Mom!" he shrieked with a lot of panic.

His mom dropped down on the other side of Rory and held two of her fingers on her neck to feel for a pulse.

"She most likely passed out due to a lot of blood loss, but the ambulance is almost here," Grace calmly said while getting onto her feet. She walked over to sink and soaked the two washcloths draped on it with warm water. When she returned by her son's side, she handed him one. "Tightly hold it over her wrist."

Trevor nodded to illustrate that he understood.

As he was holding the washcloth against Rory's left wrist, he used his other hand to wipe his wet eyes.

It was his fault that this happened. He didn't protect her like he wanted.

…..

Castle returned to the couch with a glass of lemonade to hear Kate's phone vibrating on the coffee table. Without thinking twice about it, he picked it up and saw Grace's name.

Oh no.

He rushed onto his feet and stood in front of Kate. He didn't want to wake her, but he had a feeling something terrible happened with Rory.

He gently grasped onto her shoulders and shook her until her eyes sleepily opened.

"What?" Kate yawned while holding her hand over her mouth.

"You fell asleep for a little over an hour, but you have a phone call." He handed her the phone and watched her rapidly become awake as possible.

Kate hit accept and held the phone against her ear. "Hello?"

Castle watched his partner's face turn a few shades lighter. He quickly ran over to the door and put his shoes on. When they were on his feet, he turned around to find Kate slipping her flats on by the couch.

She practically ran over to him and took the keys out of the bowl. She kept the phone to her ear as he held the door open and she dashed out.

They were by the elevator when she decided to take the stairs and he followed. It wasn't until they entered the lobby did she take her phone away from her ear and end the call.

"What happened?" Castle questioned as he held the building door open for her.

"What I feared the most," Kate quietly replied while she attempted to locate her car. When she did, she felt a hand on her shoulder, which made her stop. "Castle, now is not the time!" she furiously screamed while spinning on her heel to face him.

"Let me drive. You're in a bad mindset to be behind the wheel of a car."

"Okay." She basically threw the keys at him and ran to her car. When he unlocked it, she jerked the passenger door open and climbed in.

Once Castle was in the driver's seat, he put the keys in the ignition and started the engine. Just as he was about to look over his shoulder to see if he could pull away from the curb, he saw Kate lean across him and turn the police siren on.

"You can do that?"

"I don't care if I can't. Just go to the hospital I was at not too long ago!"

Castle nodded to himself before pulling out into the street. He had never drove this fast in the city and it was absolutely thrilling. The siren blaring in his ears and the feeling of the gas pedal close to the floor made it even better. He really felt like a cop.

But he couldn't get carried away because Rory was in the hospital and he had to focus on getting there safely.

It took them awhile, even with the siren, to pull up to hospital. He let Kate out by the ER doors and watched her sprint inside before taking off to park the car.

Shoot, he didn't know how to turn the siren off. Looked like he was going to waste time trying to figure it out.

Kate entered the hospital and completely ignored the receptionist to run over to Grace since she knew that she was a nurse… or something like that. She wasn't exactly sure right now because panic made her thought process a little off.

"What happened?" she eventually questioned.

"Suicide attempt," Grace monotonously answered, trying to keep emotion out of her voice, so she wouldn't add to Kate's distress.

"What?" Kate practically screamed, turning her head toward Trevor to see that he had tears down his face. "No."

"She went to the bathroom. Then she tweeted 'goodbye' and I went to the bathroom to find the door locked. I had to kick it down and I found her… I found…"

Without thinking twice about it, Kate pulled the boy in for a tight hug. He was crying hysterically and was probably putting all the blame on himself, but it wasn't his fault. She wasn't following Rory into the bathroom and she didn't expect him to either.

Tears started to run down her face when she could feel his staggered breathing against her.

When they pulled away, she placed a hand on his cheek. "It's not your fault, Trevor, okay?"

Trevor slowly nodded his head.

Kate spun on her heel and sped over to the receptionist. Her scar was sending agonizing pains throughout her stomach, but that didn't matter. What mattered was getting information on Rory's condition and going into the room.

She didn't even have to speak until the lady nodded her head and gave her the room number.

Kate hurried through the next set of swinging doors until she was in the hall that she felt Rory would be at. She scanned the room numbers as she flew by them. When she was close to the right one, she slowed down and closed her eyes before opening the door.

Rory had oxygen tubes in her nose and thick bandages wrapped around her wrists. Her skin tone was way more pale than normal and she was asleep or unconscious, Kate didn't know for sure.

She harshly swallowed the large knot in the back of her throat before plopping down on the bed by Rory's legs. Her eyes were filled with tears, making everything seem blurry, so she blinked and let them roll down her cheeks.

When she realized that the bandages on Rory's wrists meant that she cut them, she sharply bit down on her lip. She carefully placed her hand on the one closest to her to find that it was stained with blood.

"Rory… why?"

She couldn't control it anymore. She was uncontrollably crying and trying to catch her breath, which only made her gasp for air.

"I can't lose you."

She leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on Rory's forehead. As she closed her eyes, taking in the texture of her daughter's skin against her lips, tears slid down her cheeks.

"I can't."

...

_"There's blood on my hands,  
><em>

_Like the blood in you.  
><em>

_Some things can't be treated,  
><em>

_So don't make me,  
><em>

_Don't make me be myself around you."  
><em>

_The Used - Blood On My Hands_

* * *

><p><strong><em>AN: :'(<em>**


	15. Chapter 15

Since Kate was still in the room with Rory and there wasn't much Castle could do to help, he called everyone in Kate's contact list on her phone to let them know what happened. He ended up only calling four people: Jim, Maddie, Lanie, and Esposito – who would tell Ryan. He didn't exactly tell them what Rory did, he honestly didn't know himself, but he mentioned that she was in the hospital and it didn't look too good.

While he waited for more people to arrive, including his daughter (seeing as he called her to let her know where he was), he decided to play games on his phone. He made sure to keep Kate's ringtone volume at a high level just in case someone called. Normally he wouldn't have her phone in his possession, ever, but she left it in the cup holder in the car, so he held on to it. Besides, he had a feeling that she wouldn't care at the moment.

As he was playing Munch Time, he felt a presence next to him, so he exited the app as fast as possible and turned toward the person.

Maddie.

He had only met Maddie a couple of times, during one of the cases he assisted on. He even went out on a small date with her, but that was out of spite since Kate was with Demming. The urge to twitch in disgust was powerful, but he held it down. Instead of letting his mind go back to when he was an idiot with Kate, he spoke to Maddie.

"Hey," he said with a forced half smile.

"How is she?" Maddie questioned, eyeing the swinging doors that led to the patient rooms.

"I'm not sure. Kate hasn't come out of the room since she went in there over an hour ago."

"And you have her phone."

"That I do." He picked it up and waved it before he set it back down.

Maddie's eyes fell on the receptionist before she made her way over. Her best friend, even though they didn't see each other as often as they talked on the phone, needed her right now. She had a feeling Kate would be a mess, like she was when her mother died.

"Uh, Mallorie Beckett," she said to the receptionist.

"Are you a relative?"

A lie wouldn't hurt, right? She could always say that she was Rory's aunt, which wasn't too much a lie because she had been in the girl's life since she was born.

"I'm her aunt," Maddie answered with a slight nod.

"Room 216."

Maddie turned her head toward Castle since she could feel his eyes on her. She gradually walked over to him since she had a feeling he wanted to say something.

"Can you tell me how everything is going?" Castle asked with a lot of concern.

"Of course," she answered with a small grin. Before she headed to Rory's room, she grabbed her friend's phone off the arm of the chair. "I'll text you what's going on, okay?"

"Thank you."

Maddie grinned at the man seated in front of her. He loved Kate so much, even though she had a feeling he was trying to hide it. If only Kate would open herself up to people outside of her and Rory's little universe, she would be happy. Then again, it was probably Rory's doing that Kate didn't date as much, and of course her job. Whatever the reason, after Rory was okay, she needed to tell her friend to go for it with Castle.

As she was walking away, she could feel Castle's eyes still on her. He really cared about Rory. She wished Kate found someone like him when she needed help getting through her mother's murder. Though his books did help, it wasn't exactly the same.

While scanning the room numbers, she had to prepare herself for what she was about to walk in to. She didn't know what Rory did or how much of a wreck Kate would be. Hopefully it wouldn't be like when her mom died, but she didn't know.

…..

"_Becks?" Maddie questioned aloud while opening the upstairs bathroom door in Kate's house to find nobody behind it._

_She practically looked through every room where she thought her friend would be. Even Jim said that she was home with Rory and there wasn't any sign of either one of them._

_As she opened Kate's bedroom door, her ears were met with very soft lullabies, which made her enter the dim lit room. _

_Kate was laying on her bed while on her side. Her head was rested in her hand and her elbow was propped up. She was running the fingers on her free hand down Rory's cheek._

"_Becks?" Maddie whispered, so she wouldn't disturb Rory if she was trying to fall asleep for her nap._

"_I can't do it, Maddie," Kate croaked as fresh tears escaped her eyes, making her view on Rory's face blurry._

_Maddie gradually plopped down on the bed near the pillows. "Can't do what?"_

"_Be a mom."_

"_You have been being a mom. You're one of the best young moms that I know."_

"_How can I be a good mom when I don't even have one anymore?" Kate cried out, but placed her hand over her mouth to silence herself. She didn't want to wake Rory up and have her witness her like this._

"_Because she needs you," Maddie soothingly spoke, lightly running one of her hands down Kate's hair._

"_I can't."_

"_What else are you supposed to do?"_

_Just as Kate opened her mouth to answer the question, she noticed Rory rubbing her face in the blankets, meaning that she was waking up._

_Kate quickly wiped the tears under her eyes as Rory's head turned toward her._

"_Hey, sleepy girl," she said in a staggered voice, still attempting to fight the urge to cry. She couldn't be upset near her daughter or else she would transfer the emotion like she did before._

_Rory rubbed her ear, finding her earring, which made her mess with it a few times before she got on her hands and knees. She turned her head to see Maddie and her mom beside her. A smile began to form across her lips until she sensed her mom's distress._

"_How's it going, Ms. Rory?" Maddie greeted with a large, playful grin._

_Rory crawled closer to her mom and sat back on her knees, observing her. She looked happy, but she could sense something else. She placed her hand on her mom's face and smiled._

"_Mine," she said before her mom fully sat up. She was instantly pulled into her mom's loving arms, being held close and tight._

_Kate held placed her hand over the back of Rory's head and held her near. Her daughter's cute, little voice and simple touch made her want to break down and cry again. Since she couldn't just get up and run like she wanted, she let the tears stream down her face._

_Rory eventually pulled her head back and looked up at her, confusion apparent in her facial expression._

"_Mommy will be okay, Rory," Maddie said, which made Kate's head turn toward her. She gently grasped onto Kate's shoulder furthest from her and pulled her in for a hug. "I promise you will be okay, Becks. I promise."_

"_It's so hard," Kate said through her hysterical cries._

"_I know, but look at this little one right here." Maddie motioned her hand toward Rory who was staring at them with her wide, stunning blue eyes. "You can't just run away, Becks, because she needs you, she needs you to be strong. I know it must be really tough to deal with, but you're her mom and you're all she has."_

"_What if I can't do it? What if I can't be a good mom?"_

"_You act like you're alone in this," Maddie playfully bopped her friend's head to try and lighten the mood. "I'm not going anywhere and neither is your dad."_

"_Yeah," Kate slowly nodded to herself, letting the last set of tears fall out of her tired eyes. She brought her gaze back on Rory whose eyes were watery. "Oh no, baby, it's okay."_

_Within seconds of her words, Rory was wailing, which made her feel horrible for letting herself be upset in front of her._

"_I'm so sorry," Kate whispered into her ear and held her close while sliding off the bed. She rubbed Rory's back when her small head rested against her shoulder. "I've got you. I'm not going anywhere." _

_She planted a soft kiss on Rory's head, since it lifted off her shoulder, and held her lips there. A small tear ran down her cheek at the sound of her little girl's loud cries. _

"_I'm not leaving you," she whispered into Rory's ear before her head slowly rested against her shoulder again. She felt Rory's small breaths against her neck, which made her eyes close, taking in her daughter's sweet scent and touch._

_She would eventually get through her mom's death, mainly because of the little girl that needed her. Her little girl needed her to be strong, and she would try. She would try with everything she had in her._

_When she felt Maddie's presence closer than before, she turned around to see her friend smiling._

"_What?" Kate murmured since Rory finally calmed down and she didn't want to work her up again._

"_You're a good mom, Becks. Never doubt that."_

…_.._

Maddie hesitantly opened the door to the correct room and peeked her head in. She found Kate in a chair, her back toward the door. Her eyes ended up falling onto Rory to find that she was asleep or unconscious.

As she stepped further into the room, Kate's head turned toward her. Within seconds she was out of the chair and in her arms.

"What's going on?" Maddie questioned as she heard Kate's silent cries in her ear.

"She tried to kill herself, Maddie," Kate blubbered as she let her chin rest on her Maddie's shoulder. Normally a hug with her friend would feel awkward since they had a big height difference, but given the circumstances, she didn't even notice it.

"She's okay now, right?"

"I don't know," Kate said in a low whisper. "She hasn't moved or woken up since I got here."

"Is she asleep or unconscious?"

"The nurse said unconscious."

Maddie held Kate's shoulders at arms length. "What did she do?"

Kate slowly turned around, making Maddie's hands slide off her shoulders. She stepped closer to Rory and waited until her friend was beside her.

"She slit her wrists," Kate faltered, closing her eyes to try and stop fresh tears from forming.

Without hesitation, Maddie leaned forward and moved a strand of Rory's hair behind the girl's ear. "Wherever you are, Rory, come back so we know that you're okay."

Kate let her stare fall on her friend. She managed a soft smile before she was being hugged again.

"I'm such a bad mom," she admitted her feelings.

"No, no you're not."

"I let this happen."

"Nobody could have known that she would do this. Nobody."

"She did mention her life ending soon, but I kept a close eye on her until earlier today when she went to Trevor's. And I'm pretty sure he kept an eye on her as well." She pulled out of the hug and sluggishly sat back down in the chair, keeping her eyes glued on her daughter. "He's probably a complete mess."

"Who?"

"Trevor, her boyfriend. He's the one that busted down the bathroom door to get to her." Kate ran one of her hands through her hair. "I should allow him in here. Since she hasn't been responding to my voice, maybe she will respond to his."

"That's totally up to you, but you're not a bad mom," Maddie replied, sitting on the arm of the chair. She gently played with Kate's hair, something she remembered doing whenever they slept at each other's house. "What happens now, though?"

"When she wakes up, she will have to talk to a psychiatrist, hopefully Cheryl will be the one. Cheryl will assess her, I think that was what Trevor's mom told me. And while she's healing, she will be talked to, to analyze her mental state. After that, it's up to Cheryl and myself if she goes home or to a psychiatric hospital…"

"What do _you_ want to do before Cheryl even comes to an answer?"

Kate locked her gaze on Rory, biting down on her bottom lip while thinking. "As much as I'd hate it and she'd hate me, I'll probably end up sending her away. I have this gut feeling that when we get home, she will try it again."

"Do what you think is best. You know her the most," Maddie said with an encouraging smile when her friend's head turned toward her.

"But that's the thing, Maddie. I don't know her at all. She hasn't been the normal Rory in a long time."

"Can you explain or did you already tell me on the phone last week?"

"I told you, I think." Kate sharply inhaled and spoke with her exhale. "She's not happy. She doesn't ever eat, shower, or talk anymore. When she does talk, it's like she's confused as to what she's even saying and what's being said to her. And the look in her eyes… it's so… dead and blank."

"She'll get the help she needs. We will make sure."

"Yeah." Kate nodded in agreement.

"How about we get out of the room for a little bit and get a drink? Maybe by the time we return, she will be up and your dad will be here."

"Oh crap, I never called him. Wait, how did you know about this?"

"Castle called me and everyone else." Maddie handed Kate her iPhone that she seemed to have momentarily forgotten about.

"I left it in the car," Kate murmured.

"He's a good guy."

"Yeah, he is," Kate replied as she got out of the chair and followed Maddie to the door. She spun around to face Rory, hoping her eyes would be open, but they weren't. "I'll be back, Rory."

…..

Rory got into a sitting position and let her legs hang over the edge of the bed. She looked up to see the indigo sky above her. As she smiled and looked toward her feet, she noticed that she was floating in water.

Without thinking twice about it, she quickly curled up and scooted to the middle of the bed. Her arms wrapped around her raised knees as she noticed that she was in a hospital gown and there were bandages wrapped around her wrists.

Was this her afterlife?

If it was, it was trippy as hell because the sky turned into a pink color, which caught her attention. She continued to stare at it until the colors started to swirl and it turned into turquoise.

"Hello?" she eventually called out and waited for a reply.

When nothing spoke back, she gradually moved to the edge of the bed and peered over. The water had rainbow colored fish, swimming at exceedingly fast speeds. Since this was way more amusing than the sky, she laid on her stomach and continued to watch them.

Before she knew it, the bed crashed into something, which made her almost tip into the water. She clutched onto the rail, so she wouldn't fall because she didn't exactly know how to swim.

As she turned her head to see what made her body jerk like it did, her eyes fell on a small island that had tie dye colored leaves.

Carefully, she stood on the bed and walked to the part closest to the island. She hopped off, her feet touching the cool, shallow water. While walking to the island, she felt fish swimming on her feet, so she looked down.

The sight of the bright, small fish made her bend down and tried to catch one, but they were too quick. Oh well.

She finally made it onto the island and stood in the sand. Her toes curled under the texture while her eyes shut, taking in the warm feeling. When she opened her eyes, they fell on a little girl's back.

The little girl was standing at the entrance to the forest, looking up at the leaves. She had to be at least five, maybe a little older.

"Hello?" Rory called out, which ended up making the little girl run forward.

Without thinking twice about it, Rory chased her, the rainbow colors flashing past her eyes. It ended up making her a little dizzy, but she wanted to catch the little girl she saw. Luckily for her, she still had her running skill, which made her appear behind the little girl within five minutes.

Rory skidded to a stop several feet behind her. Within seconds, her eyes widened when she realized that this wasn't a random little girl. This was her younger self.

Instead of calling out a question, she tried something else that came to mind.

"Mallorie," she said with her exhale, still trying to catch her breath from sprinting.

The little girl turned toward her, making it obvious that she was the younger version of herself.

"Where are we?"

The little girl pointed up, which made Rory look.

This time when she viewed the sky, it held the people's faces that she was closest to. Trevor, Hayley, her mom, her grandpa, Maddie, and Lanie.

Since she was confused, she glanced down at the younger version of herself. Her own captivating blue eyes locked onto hers.

"I don't understand," Rory spoke to end up hearing an echo. "I know you can speak. I was you once and I couldn't shut up. So where are we?"

The little girl tapped her temple with two of her fingers.

Rory mimicked her until she understood.

"I'm dreaming?" She got a small nod in return. "I thought I offed myself."

"Savior," the little girl spoke and tilted her head toward the sky.

Rory followed and backed up a few paces when she saw Trevor's face in front of hers in his bathroom. What she was viewing, what she saw in the sky, was a memory.

"I don't want to be saved," Rory whispered to herself and collapsed on the ground, her head in her hands. When she felt a small pressure on her shoulders, she looked up to see what caused it.

"Love," the little girl said and folded her hands open in front of her.

In the palms of the small hands were memories of Rory and her mom, some as far back as ten years. They made her smile until some were showed from days ago. Her mom's terrified expression at her being under the bed and speaking… She felt so horrible because she didn't contain everything up inside like normal.

"I don't understand why you're showing me this," Rory spoke, holding her eyes with the small version of her own.

"Come."

Rory got back on her feet and followed the little girl, but as they were walking, she felt that eerie presence that was stalking her before her suicidal act. She swallowed the huge knot that formed in the back of her throat and kept walking. It wasn't until they were in a darker area did she turn around to find that she was surrounded by the people that were always after her.

"No!" she screamed, which made the little girl turn around and sprint off. She followed the entire way until she no longer had the eerie feeling.

She heavily breathed as she noticed the little girl sitting in front of a fire pit. She sat down beside her and watched the start of the flames. No images played in the dancing, colorful flames, but voices did.

The one speaking was Trevor's.

"Rory, I'm so sorry that I didn't protect you," he whispered, making it apparent that he had been crying. "I love you so much and I want to see your beautiful eyes. Please wake up."

Her body started to feel weak, which made her panic, but the smile the little girl had - her smile - made her confused.

"What's happening to me?" Rory anxiously questioned.

"You're going back."

"I don't want to!"

"I know."

"Then help me stop it!"

"I can't. They won't let me."

Rory turned her stare to where the little girl was looking. The black hooded, terrifying figures that have been after her for _years_ stepped out from behind the trees. The demonic smiles they were giving her made her eyes snap tightly shut. She roughly hit the side of her head with both hands.

"Wake up, wake up," she continuously said, even when she could hear their heavy footsteps. She opened her eyes when she felt little hands on her wrists.

"Follow his voice," the little girl said and pointed away from them.

Rory rushed onto her feet and listened for Trevor's voice. When she heard him repeatedly say I love you, she ran toward it. She ended up coming to a halt when she noticed the younger version of herself wasn't beside her.

"Go!" the little girl screamed, which made her run faster.

She kept running toward Trevor's voice and her mom's since she just heard her in the background. It felt she was going to be running for days until she fell forward and blacked out.

…..

"It's useless," Trevor mumbled to himself, sitting more into the back of the chair beside Rory's bed.

Ever since they moved her to ICU, he had been talking to her, trying to wake her up, but nothing worked. And he had been at it for almost an hour.

As he was sliding forward to get off the chair, he noticed Rory's brows become furrowed.

"Rory?" he questioned, turning his head toward Ms. Beckett then back at Rory.

The heart monitor made it clear that Rory's breathing was picking up pace. Trevor was so close to the bed that he was practically on it.

"It's okay, Rory. Everyone that loves you is here, nobody else," he spoke in a soothing manner while lifting his head to see Ms. Beckett at the foot of the bed.

"Keep talking," she whispered to him and he nodded in comprehension.

"I'm right here, Rory. Me and your mom are the only ones in the room, nobody else. It will stay that way if you want."

He paid close attention to Rory's eyes and when they began flicker open, he sat back from the bed, so she wouldn't feel smothered.

Rory slowly opened her exhausted eyes and let them stay pointed at the ceiling as they traveled across it. They started to fill with tears when she heard the mumbling she had before she went out.

"Rory, what's the matter?" Trevor questioned before her mom could.

"S'all the same," Rory slurred, shaking her head and keeping her watery eyes glued on the ceiling.

"What's the same?"

"In here," Rory answered in a whisper, tapping her right temple with her pointer finger.

"What do you mean?" Kate inquired as she sat on the bed by Rory's legs. She delicately placed her hand on her daughter's thigh, making her watery blue eyes fall on her.

"I can hear the voices," Rory answered, tightly closing her eyes to try and mute out the mumbling, but not succeeding.

"Hey, I'm here. Nothing is going to happen to you when I'm here," Trevor managed to say through his cloudy mind, making Rory's eyes open and move to look at him.

Rory didn't reply and instead deliberately scanned the room she was in. When she realized that she was in a hospital, she slowly started to sit up, her head wanting to weight her down. She didn't want to set it back on the pillow, she wanted to get out of here.

"Hey," Kate calmly whispered, lightly placing her hands on Rory's shoulders. "You need to lay down."

Rory shrugged out of her mom's hands and looked down at her wrists since they had an annoying pain. When she saw the bandages the memory of slitting them and seeing the blood came to her. And when she noticed the IV in her arm, she grasped onto it.

"Mallorie, no," Kate said, grabbing onto Rory's hand and unfolding the fingers that were wrapped around the IV.

Trevor slid the chair closer to the side of the bed, making Rory's head turn toward him really fast.

"I won't leave you," he reassured, noticing how those four simple words made the tense composure she had disappear. He saw the smile he was receiving from Ms. Beckett before he leaned forward and gently managed to get Rory to lay down. Her eyes stayed glue on him the entire time.

"I love you," Rory silently mouthed to him.

"I love you too," Trevor replied, cautiously taking Rory's left hand into his own. Tears escaped behind his eyes when he saw Rory continuously mouthing I love you to him as her own eyes shut.

"Thank you," Kate whispered into his ear, her hand holding the side of his head against her cheek.

"I'm not leaving her," Trevor admitted.

"You don't have to, but I'm going to tell everyone that she's awake, okay?"

"Okay," he nodded and listened to her footsteps trail out of the room.

Kate leaned against the wall beside the door to Rory's room. Her daughter was awake and admitted that she still could hear voices.

She ran her hands through her tangled hair and held them against her head.

It was Trevor that woke Rory up and calmed her down enough to fall back asleep. They really loved each other. She found comfort in knowing that Rory trusted and loved him as much as he loved her.

...

_"Listen to me one more time, how can I get through?  
><em>

_Can't you try to see that I'm trying to get to you?  
><em>

_Open up your eyes now, tell me what you see._

_It is no surprise now, what you see is me.  
><em>

_Tell me what you see."  
><em>

_The Beatles - Tell Me What You See  
><em>

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: Thanks to Cyn for the usual help. (:<strong>  
><em>


	16. Chapter 16

Three long, dreadful days have passed since Rory was sent to this place. She didn't like it at all and the voices hated it even more. They would demand her to leave, but she didn't have the strength to listen, so they would yell. They would really fucking yell at her until she was on the ground, holding her head and screaming. The only way they would shut up was when she was sedated.

As she was sitting on her bed, running her fingers over the new bandages on her wrists, she could sense someone looking into her room.

"You have a visitor," the young guy, Aaron, calmly spoke.

He was one of her favorites because he would actually talk to her. He was the only worker that she could recall that wanted to help the people and not sedate them every time they acted out.

She lifted her eyes and looked over at her door. Talking was hard to do lately, but she managed to speak.

"Who?" she eventually questioned while looking past Aaron.

"Your mom."

Instantly, her blood began to boil. The demands she was receiving were fast and loud. She didn't need them to feel beyond furious with her mom, but it sure did add the hatred.

She slid off her bed and mindlessly walked out of her door. Aaron was walking ahead of her, so she followed him until they were beside the visiting room.

"I'll be right here when you're done," Aaron promised her with a slight grin.

The doorway was right next to her, only two steps away, but she couldn't get herself to go through it. Instead, she stood in the opening and glared inside to see her mom sitting at one of the tables and on her phone. She didn't want to confront her. It was her fault that she was even in this loony bin.

When her mom placed her phone back in her pocket, she looked in her direction. The welcoming smile she was receiving made her tightly ball up her fists and breathe heavily, trying to regain her cool.

Without thinking twice about it, she spun on her heel and headed back to her room, Aaron behind her the entire way.

"You should really speak with her. She comes here three times a day, but you shut her down," Aaron said.

"She sent me here," Rory angrily mumbled as she entered her room.

"No, Rory, you sent yourself here. You should not blame her."

"I could have gone home! I could be in my bed! She chose to send me here! I had no say in any of it!" she furiously screamed at him, illustrating her words with her hands.

"If she never sent you here, would you be getting the help you need?"

"I don't need help. I had it under control," she lowly growled.

Aaron noticed some of the other workers making their way down to the room. He held his hand in their direction to stop them because Rory was only yelling, nothing else.

"I've only known you a few days and I don't think you did. I think you only put small walls up and they crumbled down. Those walls you built are not repairable."

Rory tightly held the palms of her hands to the sides of her head. She began to pace the room in a small circle while squeezing her eyes shut.

"You have a way higher chance to leave than a lot of kids here. And the only way out is if you accept that there's something wrong and get help for it."

"I am better!" she shouted above her thoughts.

"You're getting there," he gently spoke.

"This place is making me worse!"

Aaron took this moment to lean his head out of the room. "Go get Cheryl if she hasn't left yet. Now," he forcefully demanded one of his fellow associates.

Within two minutes, Cheryl was in the room. She nodded her head at Aaron to speak up.

"Can you repeat that?" he questioned Rory.

"This place is making everything worse! My head constantly hurts. They won't shut the fuck up. They keep telling me to leave, but I can't! They don't understand and it hurts so fucking much. I just want it to stop," Rory struggled to keep speaking and collapsed on the floor, wrapping her arms around her raised knees.

"It will stop," Cheryl spoke in a soothing manner as she squatted beside Rory. "You just need to let me help you by not being quiet. Your silence is what gives your thoughts their strength. If you break through that and we get rid of them, together, you can go home."

"I just want to go home now," Rory cried into her legs.

…..

A month and a few days after sending Rory off, it was finally the day Kate could bring her home. She couldn't believe how much she missed Rory while she was away. Usually Rory would get on her nerves or anger her and she surprisingly missed it. She most likely missed it because she didn't speak to her the whole time she was gone. Rory wouldn't walk through the room for her visits and there was nothing she could do.

However, Rory did allow Trevor's visits, which caused Kate to be jealous when she shouldn't have been. She could understand why Rory didn't want to see her because she sent her there, but what else was she supposed to do? Let her come home and end up in the hospital again?

Besides, she knew that Rory was okay, at least that was what Cheryl said. She would just have to make sure to have Rory take the medicine she was prescribed and bring her to weekly therapy sessions.

As she parked the car in the parking lot, her phone began to ring. She picked it up to see Castle's name on the screen.

"Beckett," she answered into the receiver.

"All settled in?"

"I haven't even picked her up yet."

"Oh." A pause. "You said 11 o'clock and it's a quarter to."

"Yes, I can tell time." She rolled her eyes as she opened the car door, getting hit hard with the summer heat. She grabbed her purse off the center console and draped it on her shoulder. "So why did you call?"

"Just wondering when you return to work since I know you asked Montgomery for time off to get Rory settled in again."

Kate couldn't help but smile to herself.

During the whole period of Rory being gone, Castle was at her house everyday with coffee and things to talk about. They always ended up telling stories from their pasts and most of hers were about Rory. Sitting at the kitchen table with him was probably the happiest she had felt since Rory's incident and talking about her daughter from years ago was refreshing. It also helped bring her and Castle closer. There was even a moment when she thought he was going to kiss her, but he didn't. He knew she wasn't ready, but as she was thinking about it, she should have let him.

Then again, Rory just got better and telling her the news that she was in a relationship with Castle could make things worse.

"So?" Castle spoke, taking her away from her thoughts.

"Two weeks. I wish it could be a year, but I need to have a house and food," she playfully laughed while walking up to the doors.

"Become a writer like me."

"Yeah, right."

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?"

"I like to work for my money."

"I work!"

"More like watch me work." She could tell that his mouth went agape, so she chuckled softly. "But I have to let you go."

"Tell me how it went when you have the time."

"Bye, Castle," she said before ending the call.

She shoved her phone into her back pocket and took a deep breath before walking past the entrance. She didn't have to go anywhere because Rory was several yards past the set of doors that were normally closed and locked.

It had been a month since she saw Rory and she looked the exact same except without the dark circles under her eyes. She noticed the large sweater Rory was wearing and guessed that it was Trevor's. The thought of Trevor leaving his sweater with her was cute and it made her smile.

When Rory was only a few feet from her, she looked down. The bright, glacial blue eyes locked with hers made her really uneasy and she didn't know why.

"Ready?" she questioned, ignoring the feeling she had.

Rory turned toward the young boy on her left.

"If you ever want to talk, you know where to find me," Aaron kindly said.

Rory nodded before hesitantly stepping toward her mom. She didn't want to go home with her, she wanted to go to Trevor's and stay there. Since that probably wouldn't happen, she forced herself to stand by her mom's side.

Without warning, she was pulled into her mom's arms. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to bury her anger for a few moments. It felt like she was being hugged for _hours_ until she was finally released.

"I missed you so much," Kate murmured as she pushed some of Rory's waves behind her ear.

"I know," Rory managed to say through the fury swirling in her mind.

"Let's go home, kid," Kate announced and put her arm around Rory's shoulders to guide her out. She glanced behind her to see cheerful smiles from the workers.

Once outside, Rory ducked out of her mom's arm and speedily walked forward. She stood in the middle of the parking lot and looked up at the clear blue sky. Her eyes shut and she deeply inhaled the sweet scent of freedom. Seconds before she was about to open her eyes, she was jerked back a few feet.

"Jesus, Rory, are you trying to get hit?" Kate nervously asked as she slowly turned Rory to face her.

"What?"

"You were standing behind the truck." Kate pointed in the direction the vehicle was. "He was backing out and didn't see you."

Rory turned her head to the yellow truck then back at her mom. "Okay."

Kate pursed her lips together and tried to figure out why Rory was being so distant because Cheryl said the voices were gone. Well, it didn't look like she was going to find out any answers to her questions in the parking lot since Rory wasn't by her side anymore.

_Rory wasn't by her side._

Within two seconds, she went from calm to panicked. She spun around to end up almost colliding with Rory.

"What?" Rory questioned with a lot of confusion and furrowed brows.

"Nothing," Kate lied and decided it was best to get to the car and go home.

Once in the car and on the street, Kate glanced to her right to see Rory with her nose against the window.

"What are you doing?" she questioned out of curiosity.

"You don't see buildings or cars while in there," Rory monotonously answered, trying to keep her rage out of her words.

"Oh, right."

The rest of the ride went by in silence until Kate parked the car in front of the apartment building. She unbuckled herself and got out after Rory did.

The moment Rory was away from the car and on the sidewalk, she turned around to see if her mom was near her and she sadly was. She wanted to go see Trevor, but it didn't look like she could get away just yet.

"Let's go inside, it's really hot and I still don't understand how you're wearing a sweater and jeans," Kate said as she directed Rory up the stairs.

Once in front of the apartment door, Kate pulled her key out and unlocked it.

"Welcome home, kid," she announced with a warm smile and waited for Rory to enter first.

Rory walked through the door and hesitantly toward her room. She eyed the photos along the hall walls before entering through the door.

It was way neater than how she left it and half of her posters weren't on the walls. Instead, there was a large chart and only a few scattered photos.

"Hope you don't mind that I removed triggering things," Kate said from behind her.

"Okay," Rory dismissed her mom as she walked in further.

Kate bit down on the bottom of her lip, trying to understand what was going on with Rory. She hoped to God that it wasn't something related to her psychotic depression that Cheryl diagnosed her with.

"Um, do you want anything to eat?" she decided to ask, thinking that eating at the table would be a good time to ask her questions.

"Sure." Rory nodded as she sluggishly sat down at her desk.

She looked toward the door to see that her mom was no longer in view. Just as she was about to log into Facebook to see if Trevor was online, she noticed her phone on her side table. She practically dove to it and when she saw all the texts she received in the past month, she deleted them without even reading. After, she shoved her phone into her pocket and stood up.

Trevor's sweater was a tad bit hot, so she pulled it off and set it on her bed. She walked out of her door and into the living room. Since her mom wasn't in the kitchen, she guessed she was in the bathroom or something. Without thinking twice about the consequences or the new limitations she had, she headed out of the apartment.

Upon hearing the front door slam shut, Kate ran out of her room. She finished putting her hair up as she bolted for the door. After she stepped through, she saw Rory several feet from the stairs.

"Where the hell are you going?"

Rory sharply spun around and glared down at her mom. "For a walk."

"Not by yourself, I don't think so." Kate smoothed back the small hairs on her head and took large strides to place herself in front of Rory. "After we eat, we can go for a walk."

"I want to go by myself."

Kate took in a deep inhale. "I'm sorry, but no."

Rory faltered backwards and gawked at her mom. She sent her away and thought she had the power to keep her at home than at Trevor's? That was not how it worked for her.

"I'm going for a walk by myself. I'm sick of never being alone," she spoke through a clenched jaw, seeing the stunned expression across her mom's face.

"Sorry, Mallorie, you're staying home."

"I'd like to see you try to make me," Rory angrily spat. She turned toward the stairway and opened the door only for it to be pulled shut.

"If I have to, I will. I haven't seen you in a month, Mallorie. Do you really think I'm going to let you wander by yourself when I haven't talked to you in so long?" Kate questioned as Rory turned to her.

"Fine," Rory mumbled, making it hard to hear.

"I know you're mad at me, but at least try to understand my rules."

"Okay." Rory shrugged and headed back to the apartment.

Kate ran her hand down her face and stared ahead. She didn't know how she was going to handle Rory being home. Yeah, she missed her, but she felt like she was going to be on edge 24/7 because she didn't know if her daughter would stay in the house the entire time.

…..

"Are you sure it's okay to be here now? What if she forgot?" Castle nervously questioned Lanie.

"I shot her a text before we arrived. She said it was okay to visit since her dad left about a half hour ago," Lanie replied and knocked on the door.

Castle anxiously moved the bouquet of flowers from hand to hand. He didn't understand why he was so nervous because he had been coming here everyday for the past month.

Maybe it was because Rory was home and she didn't like him, but she could have changed while away. He didn't know for sure and he was almost positive Kate didn't know because she told him how secretive Rory was, even before being a teenager.

"Why are you sweating?" Lanie questioned with a laugh.

"It's hot out and I'm nervous."

"You have nothing to be nervous about," she reassured with a slight smile.

Just as he opened his mouth to respond, the apartment door in front of him was opened. He was greeted with a happy smile by the woman he loved. She held her arm out and stepped away from the door, so he and Lanie could enter.

Lanie was the first past the door and she pulled Kate into her arms.

"How is everything so far?" she murmured, afraid that Rory was somewhere nearby.

"It's okay. She's quiet," Kate answered with a tired shrug. She let Lanie walk away from the door and put her stare on Castle. "Flowers?"

"For Rory," he said with a large grin. He held them out to her and when she took them, he stepped further into the apartment and slid his shoes off.

"Thanks. Let me go get her," Kate announced as she set the vase on the kitchen table.

She headed past the living room and came to a halt when she saw Rory standing against the wall to the entrance of the hall.

"You have some visitors," Kate happily said with a smile.

Rory used her shoulder to push herself off the wall and walked into the living room. She saw Lanie making herself at home as she usually did. Then, her eyes traveled onto Castle.

She held his stare for a few seconds until he moved over to the couch. At that time, she turned around and sped to the bathroom. She slammed the door shut just as her mom appeared in front of it. After locking the handle, she turned the sink on at full blast to drown out her mom's voice.

While she gripped onto the sides of the sink, she glared into the mirror at herself. Without the mumbling, she didn't know how to react to certain things because she had it since she was little.

She also didn't understand why her mom would allow Castle here when she didn't like him in the first place. It was as if…

Quickly, she turned the faucet off and unlocked the door. When she yanked it open, her mom was leaning against the hall wall, observing her.

"What's wrong?" Kate apprehensively questioned.

Rory narrowed her eyes. "You're dating him," she irritably accused.

Kate's eyes went as wide as possible as did her mouth. She lifted herself off of the wall and stood closer to her daughter.

"No, Mallorie, I'm not dating him."

"Then…" Rory glared toward the ground and roughly brought her fingers through her hair. She harshly gripped onto it to keep herself calm. "Then why is he here?"

"Because he cares about you and I thought you would be okay with it."

Rory's mouth dropped open. "Does it look like I'm okay?" she yelled her question as she looked directly into her mom's frightened eyes.

"Relax," Kate calmly spoke, delicately placing her hand on Rory's shoulder.

"Don't touch me!" Rory ducked out of her mom's hold. "You have no right!" she wrathfully shouted.

Before Kate could even speak, Rory went into her bedroom and slammed the door shut.

Kate didn't know what she did to cause Rory to have an outburst like that. All she did was allow Castle into her home. And when Rory pulled out of her loving touch…

Kate anxiously ran her hands through her hair and held it against the back of her neck. She turned her head to the side to see Lanie and Castle standing at the entrance to the hall, worried expressions across their faces.

"Want me to talk to her?" Castle inquired.

"I think that is the worst idea you have ever had," Lanie answered before Kate had a chance to open her mouth.

"I mean, she can't dislike me forever, right?"

"Now isn't the best time to talk to her, Castle," Kate nearly whispered. "She won't even talk to me. I doubt she will talk to you."

"Maybe you should wait a bit," Lanie spoke to Castle, placing her hand on his arm for reassurance. "Rory isn't the type to remain calm when someone she doesn't like is talking to her."

"I just don't get it…" Castle murmured while sadly looking down at his feet.

"I don't either," Kate agreed with a loud sigh. "She has always been like this with guys that I invite into the house since she was younger. I don't know why because she has never told me."

"I bet I know someone that knows," Lanie announced as she leaned her side against the wall.

"Who?" Castle and Kate asked at the same time, causing them both to smile at each other.

"Who else?" Lanie questioned.

Kate shrugged. "I don't know?"

"Trevor," Lanie spoke with a nod.

"You're right," Kate mumbled to herself. She was about to begin walking out of the hall, but Rory's bedroom door opened.

Rory kept her stare toward her feet as she made her way down the hall. She roughly pushed past Lanie and Castle until she was in the living room. As she drew closer to the apartment door, she could feel all eyes on her. While she ignored them, she plopped down on the ground and slid her Converse on.

"Mallorie, what are you doing?" Kate inquired as she hesitantly walked into the kitchen.

Rory tied her shoes in silence. After getting back on her feet, she turned toward her mom who was standing beside the table. She lightly placed her hand on the door handle and twisted it.

"Out," she vaguely replied, pulling the door open and stepping through. She slammed it shut before bolting for the stairs.

"Mallorie Ann!" Kate yelled from the hall until she saw Rory push past the door to the stairway. She dashed back into the apartment and noticed Lanie and Castle in front of her.

"We'll help search for her," Lanie calmly announced with a nod.

"Yeah," Castle agreed with a nod.

"Thanks," Kate responded with a forced smile.

…..

Thirty minutes passed since Rory ran out of the apartment. She ran most of the way to Central Park, but the heat made her walk less than half of the way.

She was sitting on a bench in front of one of the ponds as she closed her eyes.

She wasn't in the psychiatric hospital anymore. She wasn't considered crazy, just depressed. At least that was what she told herself. She never used both words to describe her mood disorder because she didn't want to believe that she was psychotic.

Who would even want to?

As she steadily breathed in the beautiful summer air, letting the smell of freedom make it to her bloodstream, she slowly opened her eyes. She let them travel across the bright blue sky and clouds in it.

She was finally free, but she still felt like she was being held down by her mom. Before she got further into thought, she felt a presence beside her, so she turned her head.

Tony.

"I didn't believe it was you for a second," Tony spoke without looking at her. Instead, he kept his gaze toward the small pond.

"Yeah," she said with a whisper, bringing her stare back toward the sky.

"Want one?" He held a cigarette out until she took it. He lit it and leaned his elbows against his knees. "We missed you."

"We?"

"Trevor, Hayley, Jordyn, Jay, Max, everybody."

At the mention of Trevor's name, Rory set the cigarette between her lips and slid off the bench. She took a deep drag, getting surprised that she didn't cough, before she faced Tony.

He looked different. It was almost as if he cleaned up his act, which she had a feeling he didn't. But who knew? She was gone for a month and a lot could happen in that amount of time.

"Still deal?" she curiously questioned.

"Yeah, but not to you anymore."

"What?" she angrily yelled, even though she wasn't thinking about partying yet, but after that she was.

"I feel like the drugs fucked you up. I mean, I want to party with you, we all do because you're the most fun to be with when fucked up. But you were in a loony bin and what if it fucks you up again?"

"That wasn't what fucked me up."

"How do you know?"

"Because what was and still is wrong with me has been going on since I was little. The drugs helped mute everything out, which I don't need anymore, so if I party, it will be for fun."

Tony had a giant, bright smile on.

She sat down beside him, observing how he went from concerned to ready to fuck shit up within seconds.

He held his hand out to her while placing his own cigarette in his mouth, which confused her, but she took hold of it.

"Nice to know you're back, Rory," he spoke with such sincerity that she couldn't believe that it was Tony speaking. He wasn't the type to show how much he cared and it was nice to see. It really was. "We can light up tonight. Nothing big, though."

"Nice to know you care, Tony."

"Always have."

She nodded to herself with a grin before getting onto her feet.

"Where you goin'?" he curiously asked.

"Guess."

…..

Rory stood below Trevor's bedroom window in the alley. She was nervous to see him and she had no clue as to why because she saw him everyday while she was gone. Before she let her nerves gain control over her thoughts, she navigated to his name in her phone and sent him a message to look out of his window.

As she waited, she finished the cigarette Tony gave her. She threw it at the ground and rubbed it in the cement with her foot. When she looked up, she saw Trevor at the front of the alley.

His chest was rapidly rising and falling, indicating that he ran out of his place. He looked like he was seeing things, which made him stay still. It was the smile she gave him that got him to run for her.

As he wrapped his arms around her body and spun her around in a giant hug, their height difference made her feet slightly lift off the ground. She couldn't help but laugh when he kept hugging her.

"I missed you so much," he gently hummed into her ear as his face buried into her neck.

"I missed you more."

Her four simple words were what made him give her the most desperate kiss that she had ever gotten. Moments after, it turned into passion and it was making it hard for her to keep it up.

"What's wrong?" he inquired, slowly pulling away to look down at her.

"Took my breath away," she breathlessly answered, which made him begin to kiss her again.

"Let's go inside," he suggested.

They laced their fingers together and walked into his apartment building.

Once in the elevator, she wrapped her arms around him, laying her head against his chest. The sound of his rapid heartbeat made her smile and place her chin against his chest to look up.

"What?" he questioned, delicately pushing some of her hair behind her ear.

"This." She placed her hand over his heart. "Was what made the hospital bearable."

"Knowing that you were getting help made it easier for me to handle you being gone."

She smiled up at him before their lips connected again.

When the elevator doors opened, they stepped out. And without warning, she was lifted into his arms and he ran to the loft door.

"Put me down," she playfully laughed and kicked her feet.

He managed to open the door and carry her to his room. He set her on his bed and plopped down beside her.

"What was that for?" she questioned, propping herself onto her elbows to see his beautiful smile.

"Didn't want my mom to know that you were here because Andrew would steal my attention."

"I love him more," she teased with a smirk.

Before she knew it, she was being tickled along her sides.

"No, stop!" she shrieked and tried to squirm away.

"Who do you love more?"

"You!"

He stopped tickling her and smoothed back the hair that was dangling across her forehead. As he was gazing into her captivating blue eyes, he felt hands on his cheeks and was pulled down.

Their kiss this time was tremendously arousing for the both of them. It was a matter of minutes for Rory to pull his shirt off and for her bra and shirt to be on the floor.

"I love you so much," she whispered with her lips still against his.

That was all she had to say until she was pinned against the mattress, which made her seductively giggle. She couldn't keep up her slight laughs when his lips began to trail down her skin. They stopped at her waist, which made her look down.

Oh, she still had pants on.

Just as she was about to unbutton them, he did. She laid her head back and tilted it, so she could view how hungry he was for her. She felt the exact same way, but she couldn't find the ability to be the dominate one - definitely when he pulled her jeans off and used his tongue in ways she couldn't believe.

Even after being satisfied with just that, she wanted more, way more. She sat up and pushed him onto his back. As she straddled him, she felt his fingertips trail up her sides, creating goosebumps along her bare skin.

She gave him a delicious kiss before sliding onto his legs to pull his shorts and boxers off. She brought her eyes back to his face to see his wide, green eyes. Never did she do what she was about to with him because she never had to, but she wanted. She wanted to please him just as much as he did her.

After she was done and she put the condom on him, she kissed up his stomach, which resulted in her being flipped onto her back. As her eyes widened, he placed himself between her legs.

The gasp she let out made his lips find hers. She ran her fingers through his hair and gripped onto it as he eyes tightly closed and her breathing picked up speed.

She didn't have sex in so long that it was unbelievable how much pleasure she got out of it. While she cuddled up to his side under the sheets, knocking came from his door.

"Who is it?" he questioned while slowly sitting up.

"Rory's mom is here," Grace said from the other side of the door.

"Uh, hold on a second."

"Shit," Rory harshly swore under her breath while sliding off the bed.

"What?" Trevor questioned as he searched the floor for their clothes. He found most of them under the bed, which didn't make sense, but he didn't question it.

"I kind of left without approval." She shrugged with an innocent stare.

He slapped his hand against his forehead. "You're in deep shit then."

"Nah."

"Wanna bet?" He tossed her, her clothes as he slipped his boxers and shorts back on.

"She can't do anything. She has no power over me and never will."

"What?"

Rory quickly put her bra on and hooked the front. She slid her shirt on before seeing the worried look in his eyes.

"I'm not listening to her. I never did before. Why should I now?"

"Because… I hate when you ask me questions that I can't answer," he huffed, getting a loud laugh in return.

"Besides, I'm not staying away from you after that." She tilted her head toward the bed while putting her underwear back on.

"Oh really?"

"Yup," she answered with a playful smirk as she pulled her pants to her waist.

They were both about to walk out of his room until she spun around.

"What's up?" he questioned with a raised eyebrow before pulling his shirt over his stomach.

"She's going to know that we had sex and I like that."

"I don't!" he nervously squeaked.

"It'll make her pissed."

"Rory, please don't get her mad at me."

"Then stay in here."

Rory pulled open his bedroom door and walked out, Trevor not too far behind. She ended up grabbing hold of his hand and looking up at him with a smile.

They entered the living room to notice Grace and Kate sitting on the couch.

Upon seeing Rory, Kate had to control her urge to hurt Trevor because she could tell they just had sex. She could see it in the boy's eyes and the way her daughter's hair was. She gripped onto the glass of water Grace got her and fixed her eyes on her daughter.

"Welcome back," Grace cheerfully greeted Rory.

"Thanks." Rory nodded with a slight grin.

She let her eyes fall on her mom, noticing the fury behind them. When their eyes met, she gave a deceitful smile before leaning into Trevor's side.

Kate's eyes widened after seeing the way Rory smiled at her. "We're going to head out," she announced, getting off the couch and following Grace to the door.

"I'm not leaving," Rory said without moving from her spot. She glanced up at Trevor to see a scared look.

"Excuse me?" Kate inquired, caught off guard by her daughter's statement.

"I'll leave when _I_ want to, not when you want."

Kate ran her hand down her face and held her lips together. She turned her head toward Grace, trying to think of something to say that wouldn't show her mood to their small audience.

"You can come here tomorrow," she eventually lied.

"Mm. Doesn't work for me," Rory snapped back.

"We will be leaving soon anyway," Grace interjected with a fib. "You can spend the day here tomorrow if you want."

Kate gave Grace a thankful smile. "Come on, kid."

Rory balled her hands into tight fists before stepping in front of Trevor. She went on her tiptoes to kiss him and when they pulled away, she was met with his bright smile.

"Call me," she whispered with a pleased grin.

She spun on her heel and walked toward her mom. She stepped through the door when it was open and made her way to the elevator.

Before Rory went through the elevator doors, Kate placed her hands on the girl's shoulders and spun her around.

"What the hell was that?" she angrily questioned.

"What was what?"

"You disrespected me in front of his mom _and_ I know you just had sex."

"You have no proof."

Kate rolled her eyes and pulled out her phone. She turned the camera on and made it so Rory could view herself in it.

"Oh," Rory said, trying with all her might not to laugh.

"Lipgloss smeared, mascara and hair not so neat, your pants are unbuttoned, and your shirt is on backwards. All signs that you just had sex," Kate stated her observations while glaring down. She noticed how Rory went from relaxed to kind of nervous.

"Busted." Rory shrugged and tried to turn around, but was stopped.

"What the hell is going on with you right now? If you're mad at me, just say it."

"I'm fine. I'm just tired and I want to left alone."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive," Rory lied and faced the elevator before her mom could tell.

Kate tightly closed her eyes and steadily breathed in. She honestly forgot about Rory's attitude since it had been so long since she came across it. Since her daughter was obviously not completely stable, she didn't know how to handle her attitude in a way that wouldn't bring on bad thoughts.

She was in for a crazy rollercoaster ride, she knew that, but she wasn't completely prepared. It made her feel like a horrible mom because she didn't know what to do to gain some control on her daughter and make her go down the right paths.

She was not ready for what was ahead, not at all.

...

_"If you can't stand the pressure,  
><em>

_Stay the fuck out of my way._

_I know my place._

_This one goes out to everyone who's lied to my face._

_My heart is filled with hate."  
><em>

_A Day to Remember - Sticks And Bricks  
><em>

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: Can't write Caskett sex yet, so have some of that. XD<strong>_


	17. Chapter 17

It was late - really late. Way past the time Rory planned on leaving her welcome home party. Then again, it wasn't like her mom would be awake, since it was almost three in the morning. She smiled to herself as she struggled to get her key into the keyhole, thinking she was going to get away with sneaking out. Besides, it wasn't like her mom was going to let her go anywhere after Trevor's earlier.

She gradually pushed the apartment door open; afraid even the slightest creak would send her mom into the kitchen. Since it didn't make any sort of noise, she stepped through the doorway and spun around to close it. As she locked the handle and deadbolt, she bit down on her lip really hard to concentrate on being quiet.

Next, she plopped down on the ground to untie her Converse and pull them off. As she was yanking her right shoe off, it flew out of her hand and onto the floor. Her eyes went as wide as possible from the noise. She counted to ten while holding her breath and since her mom didn't come from the hall, she exhaled.

She rested her head against the wall, the liquor she consumed finally hit her since she hadn't sat down the entire time she was out. Before it took control and she couldn't move, she managed to get onto her feet and walk into the kitchen. Just as she pulled the fridge open to get a drink, the kitchen light turned on and panic hit her fast.

Her mom was behind her, but why was she being silent?

She swallowed the large knot in the back of her throat and grabbed onto the Arizona Iced Tea can for it to only fall out of her grasp.

"You're going to have to turn around at some point, kid," Kate lowly spoke.

Rory narrowed her eyes at the can in the fridge before latching onto it for the tenth time. After it was in her hand, she backed up to close the door and sidestepped to the counter.

"I can wait all night," Kate irritably announced.

Opening the can proved to be a difficult task for Rory. She couldn't focus her eyes on it and her mom waiting for her to turn around really, really made her nervous. She didn't understand why because she was so mad, but for some reason she couldn't channel her anger.

"You know, coming home drunk on your first night back was probably the dumbest thing you could do."

Rory gripped onto the can as hard as she could and opened the pop-top. She then turned around, keeping her head toward the floor, and walked forward. Her forehead collided with something and almost made her fall backwards, she looked up to see that it was her mom's arm.

"This whole silence thing works for you," Kate growled while observing Rory. Since she didn't get a reply, she frustratingly shook her head. "I thought you were done with the drinking."

"I'm not drunk," Rory managed to say.

"Do you really think that I can't notice? Do you think that I'm that dumb?"

"But I'm not."

"Okay." Kate moved out of Rory's way and extended her arm to her side. "Walk."

"What?"

"If you're not drunk then you won't have any problem walking to your room."

"You… you're telling me to just go to my room?"

"That's right. Oh, wait." Kate moved to the light switch and flipped it up, so she could see clearly into the living room. "Now, walk."

Rory looked toward the hall then at her mom. She could sense one of the biggest traps, so she shook her head and took a sip of her tea.

"No?" Kate questioned while constricting her arms across her chest. "Fine." She headed toward her own room without saying another word.

Once Rory could see that her mom was out of view, she loudly exhaled the breath she was holding the entire time. She was about to step forward and go to bed until she saw her mom angrily stomping back to her.

"Surprised the batteries aren't dead. And I'm glad I never got rid of this," Kate spoke while she waved the breathalyzer in her hand. She held it in front of Rory's mouth. "Blow."

Rory faltered back a couple paces and gawked at her mom.

"I'm not kidding, Mallorie."

"I'm drunk, okay? You caught me. I'm drunk," Rory nervously said at such speed that she would be surprised if her mom could even understand.

"What I want to know is how drunk. So-" Kate held the breathalyzer in front of Rory's mouth again. "-listen to me."

"I don't have to," Rory whispered while backing up.

"You're a minor and my daughter. You know I could arrest you, so just blow into this."

That was all Kate had to say to make Rory's fury become apparent. She threw her full can of iced tea onto the ground and roughly ran her fingers through her messy hair.

"You send me away and now you're going to arrest me?" she screamed her question. "You're always being a cop with me!"

"How else am I supposed to get you to listen to me? I never wanted to arrest you, but you're honestly giving me no choice. You're a minor and you know that it's illegal for you to consume alcohol just like all of the drugs you've done."

"I know that!"

"Then stop doing it."

"No." Rory shook her head. "You're not telling me what to do."

"Excuse me?" Kate questioned through a clenched jaw.

"For fuck's sake Mom, you're so stupid," Rory yelled while holding her hands over her eyes since her drunkenness was making her see doubles.

"I'm stupid?"

"You picked me up earlier and acted like nothing happened. A lot fucking happened in that time."

"I'm aware," Kate replied with a lot of confusion.

"You don't know that! You probably just sent me off without thinking about what goes on in there!" Rory shouted as tears began to fill her eyes.

"No, I don't know what takes place in a hospital like that, but I was assured that you'd be fine. I wouldn't ship you off to some horrible place, Mallorie," Kate calmly spoke as she stepped forward, placing her hand on Rory's arm.

"Don't touch me!" Rory shrieked, yanking out of her mom's hold only to trip over the leg of one of the kitchen chairs.

Kate hesitantly squatted down in front of her and took a deep inhale. "I know that you're mad. You can lie and try to make it seem like you're not, but you are. Everyone can tell. You're very hostile and curt with me, you won't let me even attempt to hug you except at the hospital, and you're acting like you run this house."

"I don't have to listen to you." Rory shook her head and scooted as far away from her mom as she could before hitting the cupboard.

"You do, Mallorie. I'm your mom and that isn't going to change no matter how furious you are with me. Just like you will always be my daughter, even if you scare and frustrate me to no end." Kate kept her eyes locked on Rory. "I love you so much and that was the only way I could make sure nothing would happen to you."

"You're such a liar," Rory slurred while attempting to stand herself back up.

"I'm a liar? How am I lying to you?"

"'You love me so much… No." Rory grasped onto one of the chairs and used it to assist with her standing.

"No?"

"I'm not telling you anything," Rory growled. "And if you're going to arrest me, do it. I'd rather be in jail than here with you."

"You obviously know that you're grounded, so get used to being here with me because I'm not leaving and neither are you." Kate pushed her hands onto her thighs to get onto her feet easier.

"You can't make me stay here."

"I can and I will."

"Fu-" Rory placed her hands on the table to steady herself before she toppled over. "You can't."

"Why?"

"'Cause."

"Because why?"

"I can't do this."

"Can't do what, Mallorie?"

Rory sluggishly shook her head before wobbling toward her room. She stepped in and over to her bed before collapsing onto it.

Kate leaned against the door frame to Rory's room with her arms crossed. She was so close with getting the answers she needed, but of course Rory shut down. Looked like the only way to know what was happening with her daughter was to ask for Cheryl's assistance in the morning and to keep her at home.

…..

"Castle, what are you doing here?" Kate shockingly questioned when she opened the apartment door.

"You sent me a text at almost four in the morning, so I thought that I'd come to make sure that you're okay," Castle sincerely answered with a grin.

"She's still asleep anyway," Kate replied as she stepped out of his way, allowing him to walk in.

"So what happened?" he inquired while closing the door.

"She came home drunk, tried to deny it, ended up admitting it, and I almost found out why she keeps doing everything she does. I mean, I can understand partying with your friends is fun, sure, but given her past and my dad's, I can't trust her."

"I know that Lanie said it'd be stupid for me to talk to her and you agree, but can I try?"

"Did you not hear what I just said?"

"I heard it, I digested it, and I came up with that question."

"Castle, she's not completely stable yet. Yeah, she's way more than she was, but you trying to talk to her might… trigger something," Kate anxiously protested.

"But… I could possibly get you some answers you want." He held her stare with his. "I've been near gun shots and terrifying murderers, I think I can handle a teenage girl."

"Are you sure?" Kate inquired while biting down on her bottom lip.

"I'm sure."

"Absolutely positive?"

"You act like she's going to kill me or something," he chortled, which was followed with a smile.

"No, she wouldn't do that, but I wouldn't put violence past her."

"She's violent?" he uneasily squeaked.

"Used to be… Well, she could still be, but I wouldn't know," Kate admitted with a shrug.

Before Castle lost the courage to speak with Rory, he began to make his way to her bedroom. He ended up stopping beside her door because he remembered Kate saying that she was still asleep, even though it was 3 o'clock in the afternoon.

He turned his head to see Kate observing him. She rolled her eyes and gave him a stifled laugh before stepping into Rory's room. Seconds after, she walked back out.

"She's awake," she whispered to him. "Are you sweating?" She raised an eyebrow with a smile.

"No," Castle lied as he took in a large breath, pacing into Rory's bedroom. He came to a standstill when he felt Rory's glacial blue eyes on him. "Hey," he croaked.

"Are you lost?" Rory asked in a hostile manner.

Castle licked his dry lips and headed over to the computer chair. He could feel her stare burning into him, but he sat down anyway.

"You have five seconds to leave my room," she viciously growled.

"Why do you hate me?" he asked while holding the furious stare that was being shot at him.

"Seriously?" She forced a laugh. "What, pretty boy can't handle knowing that someone doesn't like him?"

"No. I mean, why do you dislike me so much when you hardly know me?"

"Are you fucking dumb?" She slid off her bed and stood closer to her window to look out it.

"I wouldn't say dumb…"

"I'd like to try and like you, but I can't."

"Were you always this way with… your mom's friends?"

"Guy friends slash boyfriends? Oh, sure, but I dislike you for two reasons," she uttered while tapping the windowsill.

He anxiously rubbed his hands together. "What are the reasons?"

"One reason, I'm selfish."

"I doubt that."

"You have a better relationship with my mom than I ever will," Rory mumbled while pressing her forehead against the window.

"That's not possible."

She ignored him and sharply turned on her heel, letting all the anger she had travel through her bloodstream.

"Reason number two," she spat. "You fucking dragged her back into my grandma's case."

"I didn-"

"Who the fuck went looking into the case when I'm sure my mom said not to? Who made her obsessed with it again? You did," she snarled while walking toward him. "You have this sick fantasy that you can help solve the case, but you can't!"

"But it's possible."

"You're not fucking listening, you dumb fuck. Every time my mom gets pulled into my grandma's case, the closer I get to losing her."

"I never thought about it like that…"

"Of course you didn't because you only think about yourself! You know how my mom runs blindly when it's about that case!" Rory bellowed while balling her hands into tight fists. "I just don't want to be parentless," she stammered in a near whisper. She stepped toward the window again just as her eyes began to fill with warm tears.

"Hey, Rory, I'm honestly and completely sorry."

"I'm better, but everything is just so fucked up," she wavered as a few tears shed down her cheeks.

Castle turned the chair toward the door to see Kate leaning against the door frame. She tilted her head toward the hall, making him stand and head out of the room. Once in the hall, he faced her.

"What?" he mouthed, but got her hand raised at him before she walked in Rory's room.

"Your appointment with Cheryl is in an hour," Kate gently announced.

Rory quickly wiped at her eyes with her hand. "Okay," she replied with a nod.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Rory murmured as new tears formed behind her eyes.

Kate shook her head and moved closer to Rory. She didn't care if she was highly disliked, she gently spun Rory around and pulled her into her arms.

"Why didn't you tell me you felt like that?" she questioned while holding her weeping daughter as close as possible.

"Leave me alone," Rory blubbered and struggled to break free.

Kate didn't oblige and instead looked toward the door to see Castle's sympathetic stare. He pointed toward the kitchen with a questionable smile and shrug.

She gave him a slight nod and watched him walk away from Rory's room. Her hand made it's way down the back of Rory's head to hold her still.

"I'm so sorry that I made you feel like that. You matter so much more than solving Grandma's case, so much more," she softly whispered into Rory's ear. She let her eyes fall on the small table by her daughter's bed. "Thank you for taking the medicine I set down for you."

Since Rory stopped crying and trembling, Kate loosened her arms around her body and took a step back. She leaned down to kiss Rory's forehead only to see her daughter back away.

She let out an upset sigh. "You have twenty minutes to get ready for your appointment."

Rory's eyes fixated on her marker board, which had her schedule on it.

"It's not today," she bewilderedly stated while drying her eyes with her fingers.

"I know," Kate replied with her exhale. "I called this morning."

"Okay," Rory agreed as she sped for the marker board to change the schedule.

Kate observed Rory from the doorway. She had a feeling the schedule was the only thing Rory could control without getting in trouble. That thought made her feel like a horrible mom because her daughter only found comfort at home with a simple marker board.

Before she put herself in a bad mood, she headed toward the kitchen to see Castle sitting at the table. She gave him a small smile before sitting beside him.

"You were right," he muttered while looking at his hands.

"Can you repeat that? I'm not sure I heard correctly."

He shook his head with a large grin. "You were right."

"I know, but you did get an answer as to why she dislikes all the guys I bring home."

"But I triggered something to make her upset…"

"She's not completely stable, I told you that. I was more surprised that she didn't hit you or charge at you when she yelled. I'd rather not have a body in my house."

They held each other's glance for longer than normal until Kate looked toward the footsteps coming toward them.

"All set?" she questioned her daughter with a warm smile.

"Can Trev come over later?" Rory asked while keeping her stare toward her feet.

"You're grounded, remember?"

"No?" Rory looked up with watery eyes. "Please, Mom."

After hearing innocence in Rory's voice, how could Kate say no? Besides, it wasn't like Trevor would bring anything into this house. She could trust him.

"Only for a little while," Kate said with a sigh.

"Thank you," Rory sincerely replied.

Kate gradually turned her head toward Castle. He was smiling at her because of her wide eyes and she knew it. But he didn't understand that Rory saying thank you or sorry, and actually meaning it, was a rarity.

"Again, Rory, I'm sorry," Castle spoke up as he migrated to the apartment door.

"I know," Rory whispered while looking at her feet. "I'm sorry I hit Alexis."

"That wasn't you. I understand," Castle gave a pleasing grin from her apology while he slipped his shoes on.

"Kid, you're killing me here," Kate admitted with a joyous laugh.

"What?" Rory furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.

"Nothing. Let's go," Kate beckoned toward the door. "I'll see you some other day, Castle."

"Have fun… Sorry, I don't know what to say to where you're going…" Castle nervously stammered.

Rory sucked her lips in, trying to hide her smile because it seemed like he was really trying to be uplifting.

"Bye, Castle," Kate announced while opening the door and watching him walk out.

…..

Rory walked into Cheryl's office and quickly spun around when she noticed her mom behind her.

"We're having a session together," Kate explained since she saw the confused stare she was receiving.

"No." Rory shook her head fast.

"I think it would be a good idea," Cheryl admitted from behind, making Rory face her. "I hear that you're being hostile with your mom and she would like to know why. We can help fix that only if you allow it."

"She already knows," Rory spat while walking to her usual seat and plopping down.

Since Rory didn't protest, Cheryl tilted her head toward the seat for Kate to sit at. Once Kate shut the door and was seated, Cheryl set her notebook on her lap and fiddled with her pen.

"Why are you angry, Rory?" Cheryl gently questioned.

"You already know."

"I do know, but I can tell there's something else."

Rory glanced over at her mom, noticing the caring expression across her face. She wanted to speak, but only if her mom wasn't in here, so she looked down at her lap and stayed silent.

"Kate, why do think she's angry?" Cheryl inquired, keeping her eyes on Rory.

"Because I put her in the hospital," Kate easily answered.

"Why did you send her there?"

Kate anxiously ran one of her hands throughout her hair. "I was terrified that if I brought her home, she would attempt to off herself again and succeed. I knew she would be on suicide watch and she would get the help she needed, so I did what I thought was best. I did what I thought wouldn't end up with my daughter leaving this world."

"Rory, do you know how much it affected your mom?" Cheryl gave Kate a slight smile as Rory lifted her head.

"No, I don't and I don't want to know. I'm not sorry." Rory abruptly got on her feet and stood by the window to look out.

Kate's mouth went agape, so she turned her head toward Cheryl who looked calmer than she could ever be.

"Why did you behave the way you did?" Cheryl asked while quickly writing how Rory reacted down in her notebook.

"We already went over this," Rory growled while watching the cars drive by.

"Refresh me," Cheryl monotonously said.

"I was finally happy and I guess my thoughts didn't like that. So I went into Trevor's bathroom and sat down on the floor. I was so tired of getting demands, so I pulled out a pocketknife. I… I went through the photos on my phone before. My thoughts made me believe that I could never be a happy person, so my veins glowed where they wanted me to do it. That's it," Rory whispered her last words.

"You were never happy?" Kate inquired before Cheryl could open her mouth.

"Not really, no."

"You always seemed to be…"

Rory's eyes quickly filled with tears, making her more mad than her mom being in the room with her. She spun around and fiercely glared at her.

"You only believe that because you were never around!"

Kate nervously looked at Cheryl who nodded her head to keep the conversation going.

"What do you mean?" Kate murmured.

"Are you seriously that stupid? Do you only remember the very few times that you were actually home with me? There's a handful of those moments. A very small fucking handful," Rory hesitated since tears were making their way down her face.

"This isn't just about me sending you away, is it?"

"You didn't even try to take me home. It felt like you gave up on me and that really hurts. It really fucking hurts."

"No, Mallorie, that's not why I did it. I felt like I wouldn't have been able to keep you safe." Kate tried with all her might not to cry after seeing Rory's teary eyes.

"That's a lie," Rory angrily accused. "You just wanted me gone, so I wouldn't be a burden anymore."

"Wait a second. You are _not _a burden and never will be. Yes, you frustrate me sometimes, but that doesn't mean I want to get rid of you. That is the last thing I'd ever do."

"I've been a burden since Grandma died."

Kate's eyes went as wide as possible because she was not expecting that statement to be said.

"No, you haven't," she managed to respond.

"Yes, Mom, I have. My earliest memory is of you dropping me off at Grandpa's and not returning until really late. You carried me to the car and I woke up when we got home. I wanted to play, but you would never allow it. Instead, you'd put me to bed and leave the room. But that night, I climbed out and ran into the living room to see you at the kitchen table, hunched over the same case file. This happened every week until you became a detective and even then you would be out late, making me fall asleep at Grandpa's or whoever's house I was at. I hardly ever fell asleep in my own bed when I was little, but you obviously never realized it," Rory explained while looking at her feet.

Kate didn't know what to say because in her view, she was doing what she thought was right.

"How does that make you feel?" Cheryl asked Rory since she could witness this distress Kate had.

"Like a worthless piece of shit. I wasn't worth your extra time until I started to party and get in more trouble than normal. And it really fucking sucks when the only parent you have is hardly there for you and then you see them in the hospital, almost dying," Rory blubbered while she plopped down in her seat.

Without thinking twice about it, Kate stood up and pushed her chair in front of Rory. She then sat down and placed her hand on the back of her daughter's neck, pressing her forehead against hers.

"Listen to me," she gently began. "I'm so sorry that I made you feel neglected, but you are not worthless or a burden. I love you unconditionally and that will never change." Since she didn't get a reply, she continued. "This is why I wish you would talk to me. Let me know that I'm being a terrible mom and I will fix it."

"I don't want to be parentless," Rory whispered as she closed her eyes and fresh tears escaped.

"And I don't want to be Roryless because that, kid, would devastate me. Probably more than when Grandma died," Kate sincerely spoke, making Rory's arms wrap tightly around her neck, which made hers go around her body.

"I'm so sorry," Rory cried as she tried to regain her breath.

"I should be the one that's sorry. I let Grandma's case take over my life when you needed me most," Kate murmured as tears filled her own eyes.

"I was selfish," Rory stammered as she bit down on her lip.

"No, Mallorie, you weren't. You're here now and that's all that matters to me."

"But I almost made you lose someone else."

"Guess what," Kate said as she cautiously pulled Rory off her. She wiped her daughter's wet eyes with her thumb as she spoke. "You didn't. You scared me, yes, but you're right here and I'm not letting you go anytime soon. I bet my badge on it," she said with a force grin.

"I'm not mad at you." Rory shook her head, avoiding eye contact.

Kate placed her hand under Rory's chin and lifted it to her, making it easier to see into her pretty blue eyes.

"No, you aren't. You're upset with me and you have every right to be, definitely when you were growing up. I just wish I knew how you felt back then, so I could have fixed it," Kate sadly hummed with a frown.

Rory quickly snaked her arms around her mom's neck again, laying the side of her face on her shoulder.

"I love you so much, Mom, and I'm so scared," she sniffled.

"I know you are, but just know that I won't let anything bad happen to you, okay?"

"Okay," Rory uncertainly whispered.

Kate turned her head when she noticed that Cheryl was standing beside them. She was receiving a victorious smile, which she of course returned. They both got Rory to let out what was really bothering her, though Kate felt like there was more, but that was for another time.

"I love you so much, Mallorie. I'll never stop," she gently hummed into her daughter's ear.

...

_"I'm sorry.  
><em>

_It's all that I can say._

_You mean so much and I'd fix all that I've done,  
><em>

_If I could start again._

_I'd throw it all away to the shadows of regrets,  
><em>

_And you would have the best of me."  
><em>

_Sum 41 - Best Of Me  
><em>


	18. Chapter 18

Kate exited the bathroom and started toward her room until she realized that the house was surprisingly quiet. She tightened her belt around her waist and headed down the hall to find that nobody was in the living room or kitchen. She then rushed to Rory's door and pushed it open, so it slammed against the wall.

"What was that for?" Rory irritably questioned as she closed the notebook in her lap.

"I thought you left when Trevor did," Kate calmly answered, although her anxiety was close to its peak.

"He wouldn't let me," Rory mumbled while keeping her stare toward her wall.

"What are you writing?" Kate curiously inquired as she stepped forward to sit on the corner of the bed.

"Nothing concerning you," Rory bluntly replied with a grin. "Why do you look scared?" she questioned her observation.

"I thought you left. That's all."

"Alright." Rory tapped her pen on her notebook, noticing the awkward silence.

Kate folded her arms across her chest. "Let me see what's in the notebook."

"Just doodles. Private doodles," Rory lied with a smile to make it seem like nothing bad was between the pages.

"You've been home for two days. You have a lot of limitations and you're not going to be secretive. I won't be able to handle it," Kate openly admitted, hoping it would work on her stubborn daughter.

"They are just… like poems," Rory said with an annoyed sigh. "Stuff I'd like to keep away from anyone's eyes beside mine."

"If they are dark poems, I don't want them in your possession."

"Why?"

"So they are dark."

"No, not all of them. A few maybe. It's just like a journal, okay? A place that holds my thoughts and makes me feel better."

"Talk to me." Kate sat more on the bed than before. "What's bothering you right now?"

"You trying to get my notebook."

Kate shook her head with a slight smile. "Besides that. What's making you write in it at this moment?"

Rory anxiously picked at the corner of her notebook cover, even though it was already pretty damaged since it was so old.

"You can speak to me. You know that now," Kate spoke in a soothing manner, hoping it would make it easier for Rory to talk with her.

"I was writing about one of my dreams."

"Was it a nightmare?"

Rory kept her head down and sluggishly nodded. "Yeah," she whispered, the somewhat recent memory of her dream still apparent in her mind.

"What about?" Kate inquired while she got herself in a more comfortable position.

"You trying to take my notebook," Rory jokingly laughed, which was followed by a sly smirk.

"Oh, you are not funny." Kate playfully hit her shoulder, causing more smiles to be cast.

"No, but really. It's no big deal. I know the nightmare wasn't real."

"But what was it about?" Kate pressed for more information.

Rory itched the side of her head, looking over at her window. "Losing you."

Without thinking twice about it, Kate pulled Rory into her loving arms and held her close.

"I'm not going anywhere. Understand?" she gently murmured into her daughter's ear.

"I do," Rory frustratingly answered, wanting to get out of her mom's hold.

Kate pulled away and noticed the anger behind Rory's eyes. She raised one of her brows at the sight.

"You still have a lot of anger in you," she stated as she tilted Rory's chin with her finger.

"Not really," Rory mumbled with a slight shrug.

"Oh yeah, you do. I would be the first to see it because I was the same way for years after Grandma's death. And you have a short fuse. You've always had one. So, tell me. What are you mad about?"

"I'm not _mad_," Rory lowly growled, trying to get her mom off her case for once.

"Lying to me is not one of your best ideas."

"But I'm not!"

"Come on. You really think you can hide it from me, out of all people?"

"I am not mad."

"If you're not mad, let me see your notebook."

Rory narrowed her eyes at her mom, trying to figure out if she was setting up a trap or not. Since she felt like it was one, she loudly exhaled and looked toward her lap.

"I'm mad because I'm grounded when I should be outside. I was stuck in a hospital for a little over a month. Even though they would let us into the yard, it's not the same as wandering on your own. And you still check on me every ten minutes, which is driving me insane," Rory explained part of her anger.

"It's going to be awhile before I can even think about letting you out of the house by yourself. You know I don't want to lose you and not knowing where you are will make me really, really nervous," Kate sincerely said with a slight smile to lighten the mood.

"But nothing's going to happen!"

"I don't know that. I'm not in here." Kate lightly tapped her daughter's head.

"I'm okay. The medication helps."

"When you're no longer grounded, I will maybe let you go out."

"This is unfair!"

"No, it's not unfair. It's fairly reasonable given the circumstances. You're my kid, my only kid, and if anything happens to you, I don't know what I'd do."

"Nothing will happen. I promise."

"I know you promise, but that doesn't make it any easier for me to just let you roam the city by yourself. How do I know you won't be partying again? Can you promise that you won't party anymore?"

Rory thought about it for a moment. "Yes," she blatantly lied.

Kate slowly narrowed her stare at Rory. When she noticed the pretty blue eyes, shifting around, she knew her daughter was lying.

"You're still going to party." Kate nodded her head while clenching her jaw shut.

"Maybe. I don't know."

"I can't run off an 'I don't know.' If you plan to party and I find out, I will seriously lock you in your room forever. How does that sound?" Kate playfully smirked when she saw the wrathful stare she was receiving. "You're sixteen. You do not need to be out partying."

"It's summer vacation. No school. No rules."

"No rules?" Kate forced a laugh. "You still have to follow mine."

"Possibly." Rory heavily shrugged before sliding off her bed. As she tried to walk away from her bed, her arm was latched onto.

"You will follow my rules," Kate deeply spoke, showing that she was serious.

"Okay, okay," Rory gave in and sighed, which got her arm free from her mom's hold. "Just kidding." She smiled ear to ear before speeding out of her room.

"I'll go ahead and read your notebook then," Kate announced loud enough for Rory to hear.

Within seconds, Rory was back in her room and near her bed. Her eyes widened when she noticed her notebook in her mom's hand.

"Drop. It," she furiously growled.

"That won't happen until you promise not to party behind my back," Kate nonchalantly replied, blindly flipping through a few pages.

Without thinking, Rory lunged for her mom and roughly grasped onto her notebook.

"You can't win with me, kid," Kate laughed hard as her back hit the bed. She kept her free hand on Rory's chest to keep her at a distance. Her other arm was stretched as far away from the bed as possible, taking the notebook out of Rory's reach.

"Mom, give it!" Rory practically screamed.

"Promise me."

Rory placed her left hand on her mom's face and attempted to climb to her notebook. The second she thought she would be able to grab it, her mom dropped it on the floor. She couldn't have prepared herself for what came next because it happened so fast. Her mom grasped onto her arms and held them to her sides as she sat up.

"Calm down," Kate soothingly spoke when she noticed Rory's heavy breathing. "You're getting worked up over nothing." She kept her hold on her daughter's arms.

"Give it back!" Rory shouted while she tried to wiggle free.

"Relax," Kate calmly whispered. "Take a deep breath." When she witnessed Rory closing her eyes and breathing steadier, she loosened her grip.

Seconds after Rory's arms were free, she dove over her mom's lap and was hanging over the edge of her bed for the notebook. Again, right when she was about to have it in her hand, it was taken away.

"What is in here that's making you act like this?" Kate questioned while getting off the bed. Rory followed her, so she held the notebook above her head, way out of her daughter's reach. "Is there some sort of government secret in here?"

"No." Rory tightly balled up her fists while glaring up at the notebook.

"Then why are you panicking every time I get a hold of it?"

"Because it's mine! You would never let me go through your things. Why should I let you go through mine?"

"Okay. Relax. I was only kidding until I realized how serious you were. Here." Kate handed Rory the notebook and quickly pulled her in for a hug. "Glad the deep breaths still work when you can't relax. Just like when you were little."

"They didn't _always_ work," Rory annoyingly replied.

…..

"_I'll be back in a few hours," Kate announced as she slipped her shoes on by the door. She quickly spun around when she heard light footsteps running toward her._

"_Don't go," Rory unhappily whined while tears filled her light blue eyes._

"_I have to, baby," Kate softly spoke while squatting down, so she'd be closer to her five year old's height. "Come here." She outstretched her arms and patiently waited._

_Rory hesitantly wiped her wet eyes with the back of her hand before dashing into her mom's welcoming arms._

"_Grandpa said that if you behave, he will bring you somewhere to go swimming," Kate murmured into Rory's ear as her arms gently snaked around her small body. _

"_I want to go with you," Rory sniffled before she wrapped her arms around her mom's neck, so she could hold her hands together._

"_I know you do, but you have to stay here, so the bad guys can't get you. And since Grandpa hasn't seen you in months because he was sick, I bet he's _dying_ to play one of your silly games."_

"_You play," Rory cried into her hands, trying to muffle her sounds._

"_Hey." Kate carefully unhooked Rory's arms from around her neck and held her by the shoulders at arms length. "Why are you so upset?" she questioned with a frown. "Is someone tired?"_

"_I'm not taking a nap!" Rory angrily yelled while she rubbed her nose._

"_Hmm." Kate deliberately observed her little girl. She could see the exhaustion behind the watery blue eyes and how the summer heat affected her. "Hey, Dad," she called out to get an answer she needed._

_While she waited for her dad to appear by the door, she gently wiped the tears off of her daughter's cheek with her thumb and pulled her in for another hug._

"_What's up?" Jim inquired when he was a little ways from them._

"_What did you guys do before I came for lunch?" Kate quietly asked._

"_We went to the park and a few stores on the way back. Then, we played a game that involved running around the house, kind of like tag."_

"_How long were you guys out?"_

"_A couple hours, three at the most," he answered with a smile. "Why do you ask?"_

"_N-A-P," she silently mouthed._

"_Ohh." He knelt down beside Rory. "Do you want to watch a movie with me?"_

_Rory roughly pulled out of her mom's hold and faced her grandpa. "No!"_

"_Hey." Kate quickly grabbed onto Rory's wrists and turned her away from her dad. "That was not necessary. Tell him you're sorry."_

"_I don't want to!" Rory shouted while she yanked her wrists out of her mom's grasp. _

_She sped away from the front door to go hide. Just as she was about to reach the cupboard she normally hid in, her mom's arm appeared in front of her stomach and she was stopped._

"_Let me go!" she screamed._

"_I don't think so, Mallorie. You need to learn to listen," Kate calmly spoke. "And you're going to relax on the couch for a movie, not hide." She speedily moved her hands onto Rory's shoulders and slowly spun her around._

"_I don't have to!"_

"_Oh really?"_

"_Let me go!" Rory shrieked while she attempted to get away from her mom._

"_Mallorie, relax," Kate sternly said, which didn't have any affect. _

_She closed her eyes and tried to remember what the child psychologist said to do when Rory behaved that way. Right when she remembered, she snapped her eyes open to realize Rory got away while she was deep in thought. Great._

"_She sped upstairs and locked herself in your guys' old room," Jim breathlessly announced, making it clear he ran to her._

_Kate frustratedly ran her fingers through her hair before turning around. She passed her dad, ran toward the stairs, and practically flew up them. Once in front of her and Rory's old room, she attempted to open the door._

"_Mallorie, this is not funny," she angrily growled. _

_She pushed her hands in her pockets to see if she had anything to pick the lock with. When she came up empty handed, she bolted to the bathroom, hoping she might find a bobby pin in it. Just as she was about to give up after several long seconds, she heard her dad clear his throat from behind her._

"_Would a card of some sort work?" he curiously inquired._

"_Genius!" she exclaimed before speeding to him and taking the card out of his hand. "Thanks."_

_After five minutes of attempting to unlock the door, she finally had it. She immediately pushed it open and stood up to be met with Rory's wide eyes._

"_Now, let's try this again," Kate managed speak in a nonthreatening manner._

"_No!" Rory loudly screamed as she covered her ears with her hands._

"_Mallorie, listen," Kate deeply spoke as she bent down in front of Rory. She didn't want to hurt her, but she had to seriously yank her daughter's hands away from her ears. "You're mad. I understand."_

"_I'm not!"_

"_You are. Just take a deep breath," Kate encouragingly murmured._

_Rory tightly squeezed her eyes shut and gave in to what her mom said. She took several deep breaths, ones that made her chest lift up incredibly high. They weren't working like they did before and she was still furious, so she slowly opened her eyes to glare at her mom._

"_Better?" Kate softly asked with a slight smile._

_Since Rory's anger was still running wild throughout her bloodstream and she couldn't figure out how to control it, so she mindlessly lifted her fist and gave her mom a fierce left hook._

_Kate's eyes went as wide as possible when Rory's fist collided with her cheek. She placed her hand over the area that was punched before letting her eyes fall on her daughter who looked unbelievably scared. And she damn right should be._

"_You punched me," she furiously said the only thing that came to mind. _

_Rory kept her eyes glued on her mom before they wandered to the bedroom door. Without thinking twice about it, she darted toward it only to end up with her back against her mom's side and her mom's arm wrapped around her torso._

"_And you think you're going to run and hide," Kate exasperatedly stated. "What made you punch me?" she questioned as she brought Rory to be in front of her again._

_Rory slowly shook her head while biting down on her inner bottom lip. She was beyond terrified as to what her mom was going to do. Then again, she didn't realize what _she_ did before it was too late._

"_Why did you punch me?" Kate tried a second time._

"_I'm sorry," Rory stammered as her bottom lip began to quiver and tears filled her eyes._

"_You're to stay inside until I come get you later."_

"_I didn't mean it!"_

"_I know it's hard for you to control your emotions because they come so much faster for you than others, but for Christ's sake, Mallorie, you did not need to hit me."_

"_I'm sorry," Rory cried out before running into her mom to hide in her shirt._

"_And you're tired. So-" Kate sluggishly stood straighter as she lifted Rory into her arms, seeing as she was still very small and light "-let's go lay you down and when you get up, Grandpa won't be taking you swimming or anywhere else, understand?"_

"_I'm sorry, Mommy," Rory innocently whispered with her chin on her mom's shoulder._

"_I know, baby, but you still hit me. You can't get out of timeout after that."_

…..

"Wow, I completely forgot that you hit me before." Kate shook her head at the distant memory.

"I bet if I tried now, I could do it," Rory mocked with a large smirk.

Kate gradually slid off the bed and faced her daughter. "You're too short."

"I'm not short! You're just ridiculously tall!"

"I'm kidding. I like that you're shorter than me. Kind of gives me an advantage."

"I could still beat you up," Rory mumbled when her mom was just about to walk out of the room.

Kate sharply spun on her heel and narrowed her eyes at Rory. "Are you saying that you want to fight me?"

"Not _fight_."

"I am not sparring or anything with you. It won't happen." Kate slowly shook her head before walking into the hall.

Her phone began to vibrate in her pocket, so she quickly pulled it out and read the text. Seconds after, she peeked her head into Rory's room to see a cigarette between her daughter's lips. Instinctively, she charged toward the bed and pulled it away.

"What the hell, Mallorie?" she viciously questioned.

"I wanted to see what you would do. And since you-" Rory reached forward and snatched the cigarette out of her mom's hand. "-reacted that way, I won't do it near you."

"You won't do it ever." Kate grabbed it again and broke it in half. She saw the disbelief on Rory's face, which made her feel better. But before she walked out of the room again, she yanked open the side table drawer. "You've got to be kidding me."

"What?" Rory curiously asked because she forgot what was in her drawer. When she leaned over and saw, she wanted to run out of the room, but knowing her mom, she would be grabbed.

"You're not eighteen, so I'd really, really love to know how you get this stuff," Kate spoke through a clenched jaw as she held out the water pipe in her hand.

"Well, you see that is a bowl. It's not used. It was just… sitting in there."

"Waiting to be used."

"No, no. Not waiting. It was a present from my welcome home party," Rory attempted to lie and reassure her mom that she had no future plans for her new piece.

"Then you won't mind me throwing it out," Kate irritably replied as she held it up to the light. "Not used, eh?" She wiped her finger in the bowl before holding it close to her eyes. "You've been smoking in my house."

Rory had no idea how her mom figured that out within such a small amount of time and she didn't know what to say. So, she did what she thought would be a good idea; she stayed silent.

Kate roughly set the water pipe on the table before rummaging through the rest of the drawer. When her hand found a sandwich baggy, she pulled it out to see dryer sheets in it. She set it on the table and pulled out an empty toilet paper roll. The only thing left to find were the drugs, but she had a feeling Rory wouldn't keep them in an easy spot. No, her daughter was too smart for that.

She sluggishly let her eyes travel across the bedroom for a hiding place. The closet would be a good idea, but that was not where she found it after cleaning the room when Rory was sent away. So where would it be?

She let her stare fall on Rory who was going through her phone. Without thinking, she seized it out of her daughter's hands, receiving a wrathful glare in return.

"Where is it?" Kate furiously questioned.

"Where's what?"

"Don't play dumb with me. You know what I'm looking for. And if you don't want to be grounded for another full week, you best tell me."

"Honestly, Mom, I don't have anything besides the bowl in here."

"You have cigarettes too," Kate stated as she took them out of the drawer and slammed them on the table. She leaned toward Rory and held her eye contact. "Stop lying and tell me where it is," she hostilely demanded.

"It's not in here! That's the only stuff I have!" Rory motioned toward her table.

Kate sharply spun around and let her eyes fall on the book resting on the computer desk. She slowly walked over to it and picked it up.

"Mom, I wouldn't…"

The moment Kate began to flip through a few pages, they instantly opened to the middle where there was a square hole and marijuana in it.

"Oh yeah. You're definitely grounded for another week. I should make it two more because you lied to my face," she fiercely stated while she faced Rory.

"I… totally forgot I had that."

Kate rolled her eyes and walked back over to the bed. "All of this is going in the trash and you're going to Walmart with me in fifteen minutes."

"What? No. I don't want to go."

"Too fucking bad."

Rory harshly swallowed the large knot in the back of her throat. Her mom swearing made her realize how pissed she got her. And her mom being so mad was not fun, definitely when the yelling would start.

"I'm keeping a very, very close eye on you for now. As much as I'd like to have relief in not finding heroin or something else in your room, you're still in huge trouble."

"I'm such an idiot," Rory mumbled to herself while looking at her lap.

"Trying to hide stuff like this from a trained detective does make you an idiot. Now, get ready. You have ten minutes." Kate gathered all the items off the side table and carried them out of the room.

Rory flung herself onto her bed and held her hands over her eyes. Why did she think she'd get away with having weed in her room? And why did she think her mom would never notice? Sometimes she wished her mom was a lawyer or something, not a detective. That way she could get away with things a lot easier, but then again… her mom was incredibly smart and knew how to read people, definitely when they were lying.

Oh well. She would have to abide to her mom's rules at home, but anywhere else? They would not exist for her.

…..

"Are you out of-" Kate turned her head to notice that Rory was no longer by the cart. She bit down on her bottom lip in frustration and just as she was about to go in pursuit of Rory, she appeared back in the isle. "Where did you go?"

"I need mascara, eye liner, and all this," Rory answered as she let the items drop in the cart.

"I don't think so. You can get two things."

"But I need them all!"

"Two," Kate said as she brought her gaze back onto the shampoo. When she located her usual kind, she could feel Rory's stare on her. "Two, Rory."

"This is unfair," Rory huffed and picked everything besides the eyeliner and mascara up. She headed back toward the makeup isle to realize she was alone. Without thinking about the consequences, she slid the blue and green eye shadows in her back pockets.

"Do you seriously want me to arrest you?" Kate angrily whispered into Rory's ear, making her daughter jump from being scared.

"I didn't do anything wrong," Rory lied and attempted to walk away until her upper arm was grabbed.

"Put them back," Kate annoyingly demanded. "Now."

Rory rolled her eyes and pulled the eye shadows out of her pockets. She set them on a random shelf before facing her mom.

"Now let's go to electronics and see if they have any new movies," Kate spoke as she pointed forward, so Rory would be in front of her.

After they arrived in the department and they were searching for good movies, Kate heard a familiar greeting, so she spun around to see Castle with a large smile on his face.

"Oh brother," Rory mumbled when she noticed who her mom was looking at.

"Hey, Castle," Kate happily greeted, completely forgetting that Rory just tried to steal.

"Hey, girls. How's it going?" Castle cheerfully questioned.

"This one-" Kate delicately placed her hand on Rory's hand. "-likes to cause trouble."

"I see," Castle let out a stifled laugh. "What are you buying?" he curiously questioned when he saw the DVDs in Kate's hand.

"Movies for her," Kate answered before letting him take them and read the titles.

"The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo I heard was good," Castle said as he let his eyes fall on Rory who was busy on her phone.

Kate nudged her daughter's arm.

"What?" Rory inquired without looking up. When her phone was snatched out her hands, she turned her head toward Castle and her mom. "What?"

"He was talking to you," Kate said while shaking her head.

"Yeah. My boyfriend said he liked that movie, so I'm gonna try it," Rory forced a smile before she took her phone back. She wandered further down the isle, so she wouldn't have to listen to her mom's conversation.

"So how's everything going?" Castle curiously questioned.

"Good up until when I found marijuana in her room and she tried to steal here," Kate answered in a whisper.

"Wow…"

"Tell me about it. I can't win with her."

"At least you're trying. And she isn't as bad as she was, right?"

"Right."

Castle nodded to himself with a slight smile. His eyes traveled along the movies until he felt Kate's stare on him.

"We should have a movie night," he mindlessly said. He turned toward her and noticed the pleasing smile she was giving.

"It'd have to be at my place because Rory's not going out of my sight for awhile."

"That's fine, but only if it's okay with her. I don't want her to get mad or anything," he anxiously replied.

"Rory," Kate said loud enough for her daughter to hear.

"What now?" Rory replied, making her frustration apparent.

"Do you mind if Castle comes over tonight for a few movies?"

"Whatever." Rory shrugged and continued to talk to people on her phone.

"Tonight at seven?" Kate asked and had to try hard not to laugh when she saw Castle's stunned expression. It was like he was waiting to be turned down.

"Yeah. Yeah. Tonight at seven," he eventually answered with a happier smile than before.

Since Rory could tell her mom was going to be talking _forever_, she started to aimlessly wander around. It wasn't until she got a text from Trevor did she stop.

_You look really pretty today_.

She lifted her head and looked down one of the main isles to see him standing by the toys. A big smile made its way across her mouth before she took off running to him.

"Hey, you," Trevor murmured when Rory collided into him. He wrapped his arms around her and swayed a few times.

"Stalking me now?" she joked as she inhaled his cologne.

"Nah. Me and Derek are looking for stuff for him to buy."

"Derek's here?"

"Hell yeah," Derek answered from the superhero isle.

Rory took Trevor's hand and went toward the accent. When she saw Derek with a Batman mask on and Captain America's shield, she couldn't help but laugh because he looked too tall for them.

"Oh, I want one." Trevor childishly darted forward and found a Spider-Man mask. He put it on and faced Rory.

"Okay. Looks like I have to join," Rory spoke while she pulled the Lizard mask, from below Spider-Man's, off the hook. She strapped it on and noticed the devilish stares she was receiving. "I thought Batman worked alone!"

"Oh, that's true," Derek agreed and tapped his chin. "Free for all!" he shouted and departed ways.

"Wait, how do we know who wins?" Trevor loudly asked.

"Whoever gets hit last wins!" Derek yelled from another isle.

"You're first!" Trevor laughed and began to chase Rory, but quickly lost her down another isle.

Rory passed the ball pit and grabbed two of them before squatting down. She patiently waited until someone ran by. And when Derek did, she chucked the balls at him, which made him trip over his own feet.

"Batman has fallen!" she shouted, which was followed by a loud laugh. She got back on her feet and ran toward the baby toys.

"I got you now," Trevor deeply spoke from behind her. He sprayed the silly string that he found on her and instantly became frightened when he saw her angry glare. "You will not get me!" he yelled before dashing away. He looked over his shoulder to notice that she wasn't there anymore, so he stopped.

Rory rushed down the isle she saw soft bats in. Then, she tiptoed back to where Trevor was and snuck up behind him. She swung the bat into his ass as hard as she could.

"Ow!" he shrieked and quickly spun around.

She couldn't help but laugh so hard and fall into him for a hug while taking her mask off. "Okay, amazing Spider-Man. Let's see your true identity." She gradually lifted his mask and went on her toes to kiss his lips.

"Oh god. Get a room," Derek playfully teased from the other end of the isle.

"I'm surprised we didn't get in trouble," Trevor stated as he played with Rory's hair by her ear since the side of her face was against his chest.

"Rory, let's go," Kate said from the distance.

"Spoke too soon," Rory frowned as she lifted herself off Trevor. "Can I do one last thing?"

"Sure?" Trevor replied with a lot of confusion.

Rory gave him a devious smirk before running back to the isle where she made Derek fall. She grabbed three of the Sky Balls and ran to the Lego isle, waiting for her mom. Once she saw the cart and the things her mom chose, she ran forward and threw the balls at her.

"Tornado!" she shouted and bolted the opposite way. She ended up near the bikes and hid behind Trevor because she could hear her mom's angry footsteps stomping their way to her.

"Hi, Ms. Beckett," Trevor pleasantly greeted when she was in his view.

"Hi," Kate replied with a slight grin. "Rory, do I need to put you in the cart or something?"

"Can I?" Rory inquired while peering over Trevor's side.

"I'll help you," Trevor said as he turned toward her.

"No, I can do it." Rory darted for the cart and began to put her leg over the side. She struggled, but ended up in it. She sat down with her legs crossed and grinned at her mom.

Kate rolled her eyes and let them fall on Trevor. "Nice seeing you," she said before she placed her hands on the cart.

"See you tonight?" he asked Rory whose eyes went extremely wide.

"Tonight?" Kate inquired as she narrowed her stare at her daughter. "What's tonight?"

"We were going to have a picnic," Trevor explained. "In the park, but I forgot she was grounded and she persuaded me…"

"I hate you all," Rory huffed and messed with her shoelaces.

"I love you, too," Trevor said with a smile and wave.

Once they were away from the toys, Kate stopped the cart. "Where does your energy and impulsiveness come from?"

"Well," Rory began with a smile. "There's this little, square vault where it's all stored. I unleash the energy when I feel it's necessary and let it take over. Thus, the impulsions come into play."

"Pretend I never asked," Kate irritably spoke. "And why do you have silly string in your hair?"

"Oh, you know. That whole impulsive shit."

"Mallorie… language."

"I didn't swear. This is swearing." Rory got herself on her knees and faced the front. "What the fuck are you looking at you dumb piece of shit?" she questioned a guy that was watching her.

Kate grabbed onto the back of her daughter's shirt and yanked her down. "You're so lucky that you're already grounded."

"Not really. I can't go to the park later."

"No, you can't. Instead you will be home watching movies with Castle and I."

"Or I will stay in my room."

"That works too," Kate responded with a shrug.

She watched Rory lean against one side of the cart and dangle her legs over the other. She still couldn't believe that she found marijuana in her room earlier, but at least she got rid of it when she did. And the whole park thing… she had a feeling it was a lie, but then again, Trevor seemed to always be telling the truth with her.

Either way, Rory would be at home with her and she would not be letting her leave the house. She was usually bad at the whole grounding thing, but not anymore. Rory would not be getting away with as much as she did before her incident.

...

_"It's just the way I feel.  
><em>

_I wanna break things, I wanna break rules._

_I don't do this to fit in or feel cool._

_I do this because it's what I love._

_I always want to feel this young!"  
><em>

_Set Your Goals - Start the Reactor  
><em>


	19. Chapter 19

Kate and Castle just settled down on the couch to watch their first movie when Kate heard light footsteps from behind her. She counted to ten, waiting to see if they would stop, but since they didn't, she turned around to find Rory tiptoeing to the apartment door.

"And where do you think you're going?" she questioned as she handed Castle the remote and bowl of popcorn.

"To get a drink," Rory nonchalantly answered and detoured to the fridge.

"You either watch the movie with us, stay in your room, or find something else to occupy yourself with. You are _not_ leaving."

"How about you let me go to the park with Trev while you guys watch a movie?" Rory asked while she closed the fridge without taking anything out.

"Mm, no." Kate shook her head and pointed toward the hall. "You're grounded and it's staying that way until I go back to work."

"Which is when again?"

"A couple weeks."

"Can I just hang outside with Trev? Technically I'd still be home just not in here." Rory pointed both fingers toward the floor with a grin.

"No."

"There's nothing to do!"

"Watch one of the movies with us."

"I'm sick of watching movies. I'm sick of staring at screens. I want to go outside!"

"Tough," Kate sternly replied while she folded her arms across her chest.

"Ugh. This is so unfair," Rory mumbled as she stomped back to her room. She stopped before entering and glared through her mom's door.

"Don't even think about it," Kate lowly spoke, making Rory roll her eyes and step inside her own room before slamming the door shut.

Rory walked over to her window and peered down for a few minutes, trying to see if there would be any safe way out of it. Since she couldn't find one, she quietly exited her bedroom and tiptoed to her mom's. Right when she began to slide the window to the fire escape open, she heard her mom clear her throat.

"I knew you were going to try to sneak out, so I waited in the bathroom. And I'm glad I did," Kate spoke as she flipped the switch, so the light would turn on.

"I was… getting fresh air." Rory let the window shut on its own before heading toward the door. "Excuse me," she monotonously said as she attempted to duck under her mom's arm.

"Alexis might be coming later, maybe you can hang with her." Kate grasped onto Rory's shoulders and guided her into the hall.

Rory let out a devious laugh. "Like I have lots in common with her."

"You never know. Are you going to stay in your room or do I have to make you watch the movie with us?"

"I'll stay in my room," Rory mumbled as she ducked out of her mom's hold and entered her room. She was about to shut the door until her mom's foot appeared to stop it. "What?"

"Door remains open."

"Why?" Rory squeaked and furrowed her brows in confusion.

"Just because I busted you earlier with the drugs and paraphernalia doesn't mean there's nothing else in here." Kate leaned against the doorframe. "That's why you've been lighting incense so often lately, isn't it?"

"I know my rights." Rory smirked before trying to shut her door, but when her mom's hand stopped it, she glared up at her.

"Answer my question," Kate angrily demanded.

"Not really. The smell of them helps relax me. And if you didn't notice after all these years, relaxing isn't something I can do like you."

"That's half the truth, but okay." Kate began to walk away and turned around before exiting the hall. "Door remains open," she said one last time.

Kate gradually sat down on the couch with one of her feet under her bottom. She took the bowl of popcorn off Castle's lap and flicked a few pieces into her mouth. His curious stare was on her, so she faced him with a questionable look.

"She's not one to give up, is she?" he asked with a smile.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, she's the type to find a million other ways to get what she wants when something blocks her," he stated with a slight shrug.

"I guess you could say that. She does want to leave, but it won't happen because I'm out here and if I have to, I'll check on her every so often." She pointed the remote at the DVD player and hovered her finger over the play button. "Ready?"

He gave her a strict nod followed by a grin before his eyes fell on the screen.

Fifteen minutes went by and Rory couldn't handle her boredom any longer. She walked out of her bedroom and into the living room to find that the movie was way louder than she thought, which meant she could get out of the house easier…

Before she went through with her plan, she headed into the kitchen and opened the fridge. She grabbed the gallon of Gatorade to pour herself a drink. She felt eyes on her, so she turned around to find her mom by the table and a smile plastered on her face. A million questions suddenly ran through her thought process, so she spit one out.

"Are you two dating?" she questioned as she pulled a glass out of the cupboard.

"What?" Kate was completely caught off guard and she didn't know what else to say.

Rory quickly poured the Gatorade into her glass before facing her mom. "I asked if you two are dating," she repeated while she tried not to show any emotion.

"No, we aren't. We are just friends," Kate speedily and nervously assured.

"Okay." Rory shrugged and began to walk to her room with her drink. She slowed down at the entrance to the hall and spun around.

Her mom said she wasn't dating Castle, yet the way he looked at her… She decided to lean against the wall for a few moments to observe the two of them.

She was gone for a month and she told her mom a lot happened in that amount of time, and it looked like stuff happened at home too. Her mom was definitely closer with Castle and not in just a friendship way, more so as a couple.

She didn't like that idea. She just got better and had a more decent relationship with her mom than the whole sixteen years she had been alive. Yeah, she was getting annoyed with all the new attention, but she wasn't ready to share it.

As her anger started to heavily flow, she charged into her room and plopped down in front of her computer. She noticed her phone resting on her desk, so she picked it up and told Trevor to meet her in the alley. She needed to get outside and do anything to get rid of how furious she felt.

…..

By the end of _Captain America_, the movie Castle brought, knocking came from the apartment door. Kate slid off the couch and headed to the door with Castle behind her. She opened it to be greeted with a smiling Alexis.

"Come in," Kate welcomingly beckoned for the girl to enter.

"Thanks for inviting me," Alexis pleasantly said. "Hey, Dad."

"Hey, Pumpkin. We are going to be watching _Bridesmaids_ next, one that Kate thought you two would like. I heard it's hilarious," Castle happily told his daughter the plan.

"Paige told me to watch it, but I've never had the time." Alexis slipped out of her shoes while Kate closed the door.

"Do you want a drink before we start?" Kate inquired while she leaned against the kitchen table.

"What do you have?" Alexis followed her over to the fridge and peered inside when it was open. "The red Gatorade is good." She watched Kate pull it out of the fridge and get a glass out of the cupboard.

"Should we invite Rory for this movie?" Castle curiously asked as he headed toward the living room, Alexis not too far behind.

He sat down on the couch and motioned for his daughter to sit beside him. He could tell she was apprehensive about being near Rory, but he reassured her that Rory wouldn't do anything like she did before.

"She made it clear that she didn't want to watch any," Kate loudly answered as she poured the Gatorade into Alexis' glass. After, she put the Gatorade back in the fridge and walked into the living room.

The moment she sat down, the apartment door flung open and roughly slammed against the wall. She turned her head to see Rory walking in with her left hand cupped under her nose and Trevor behind her.

Kate was tremendously confused as to what was going on and if she was imagining things. To get rid of her bewilderment, she got off the couch and sluggishly made her way to the kitchen since Rory was in front of the sink.

"You snuck out?" she questioned through her foggy mind.

"You snuck out?" Trevor squeaked his question. He thought Rory was told she could leave the house and be with him for a while. "She said she could hang."

"Mm, nope. She's still grounded. Rory, are you going to answer my question?" Kate annoyingly asked as she placed her hand on Rory's shoulder to spin her around. Her eyes went extremely wide when she saw the blood dripping out of her daughter's nose. "What the hell happened?"

Rory glanced into the living room to see Castle and Alexis watching. She let out a stifled laugh, which was followed by an amused smirk.

"Well?" Kate pressed for more information.

"Karma," Rory eventually answered with a devious grin.

"Trevor." Kate faced the young boy with her arms folded across her chest. "What happened?"

Rory's eyes widened and since she was a little ways behind her mom, she shook her head at Trevor and continuously mouthed 'no' to him.

"Uh…" Trevor nervously glanced between Rory and Kate. "I don't know."

Kate rolled her eyes and brought her stare back onto Rory. "Tell me what happened, now," she hostilely demanded.

"I ran into a door?" Rory laughed to herself, but ended up biting down on her bottom lip when she noticed her mom's fierce glare.

It wasn't until Rory held a wad of paper towels over her nose did Kate notice the swollen, red knuckles on Rory's left hand.

"You've got to be kidding me," she wrathfully spoke through a clenched jaw.

"What?" Rory asked as she glanced over at Trevor who was smiling at her, so she returned it.

"Who did you get in a fight with?"

"Nobody." Rory roughly pulled out one of the kitchen chairs and was about to sit down until the back of her shirt was grabbed and she was being yanked to the hall. "Jesus, you could've asked to talk here."

Kate sharply spun on her heel, making her anger about Rory sneaking out and getting in a fight apparent.

"Who did you fight, Mallorie?"

"Some bitch," Rory blatantly answered as she pulled the paper towels away from her nose to see if the bleeding stopped. Since it didn't, she folded them up a bit before pressing them back against her nostrils.

"Why did you?"

"Because she was talking crap about how… nothing." Rory shook her head and headed back toward the kitchen until her upper right arm was grabbed.

"If I'm not mistaken, I just saw your eyes glimmer from tears. So, please, tell me why you got in a fight," Kate calmly said, even though she was pissed. She cautiously turned Rory, so she would be facing her again.

"She started a rumor about me and called me a crazy whore that should have died when I attempted and I don't deserve Trevor and he should just leave me," Rory hesitantly mumbled while staring at her feet. "I had to shut her up."

"With violence?" Kate carefully pulled Rory's hand away from her nose and used two fingers to tilt her head up. She gently pressed her thumb and pointer on each side of her daughter's nose. "Does that hurt?"

"Kind of," Rory winced and tightly shut her eyes.

"It's not broken. Do I have to worry about getting charges pressed against you?"

Rory decided to stay silent.

"Trevor, come here," Kate called from the hall, getting an enraged glare from Rory. Once Trevor was beside her daughter, she gave him a slight grin to help ease his nerves. "Do I have to worry about charges being pressed?"

"Probably," Trevor truthfully answered and heard the exasperated sigh Rory let out.

"Can't you talk your anger out?" Kate questioned Rory who shrugged as an answer. "How much damage did you give?"

"I don't know. He pulled me off and basically carried me away." Rory tilted her head toward Trevor.

Kate frustratingly ran her hand down her face. "How much, Trevor?"

"Most definitely a black eye, bloody nose, and probably slight head trauma,…" he uneasily answered.

"Did you know she was going fight?" Kate inquired as her eyes stayed glued on Rory.

"No. She said she wanted to meet someone in the park. I honestly had no clue." Trevor leaned against the hall wall and shrugged. "Before I knew it, she was yelling and hitting the girl."

"What makes you think she gave her head trauma?"

"You see… when Rory fights, she doesn't hit and pull hair like most girls. She gets scary."

"Scary how?"

"Well, in this one she held the girl by her throat and slammed her head onto the grass a few times before it finally struck me that she was actually doing that," Trevor explained, even as he felt the infuriated glare he was receiving from Rory.

"I can't believe you right now," Kate growled as she closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Go to your room, _now_," she furiously demanded.

Rory grabbed Trevor's hand with her free one and began to head to her room with him.

"He's not staying. You're still grounded," Kate said, which made them stop.

"Please?" Rory innocently begged.

"Five minutes and that's it." Kate rolled her eyes while she shook her head.

"What can we do in five minutes?" Rory deeply asked Trevor. When she saw the wide eyes her mom had, she laughed really hard. "I'm kidding!"

"Okay. Sure. I'll be back in five minutes." Kate watched them walk into Rory's room. She let her head rest against the hall wall as her eyes closed. She really needed to help Rory get a better handle on her anger or something worse than the newest fight would happen, and she could sense it.

"So what happened?" Castle curiously inquired when Kate was closer to the couch.

"A fight," Kate sighed and began to tell him everything she knew.

…..

"What's this?" Trevor interestedly questioned the red notebook he picked up from Rory's bed.

"Stuff I write," Rory answered as she leaned against her headboard and checked to see if her nose stopped bleeding. Since it did, she set the paper towels on her side table and raised an eyebrow at her boyfriend. "Nosey much?"

"These are _really_ good," he said in awe as he flipped through the pages. He quickly turned his head toward her with his mouth agape.

"What?"

"Could I use these as lyrics?"

"Uh, knock yourself out."

"Sweet." He nodded to himself as he read the current, opened page. An idea struck him, so he faced her again with a sly grin.

"Okay, I'm taking these from you." She snatched the notebook out of his hand, but his grin didn't disappear. "What?"

"We all know how you can't handle your emotions extremely well."

"No really? What gave you that idea?"

"Just hear me out," he spoke with his hand raised to make her be silent. "My band needs a drummer and since Derek is here to stay, he became our bassist/screamo vocalist. Now, we need a drummer."

"That should be easy to find." She slightly shrugged, trying to figure out what he was getting at.

"You should be our drummer."

"I don't know how to play. The closest things to drums I've ever done was Rock Band."

"Which you are badass at. You can keep a beat. I think you can handle real drums. I can help you out and so can Derek because he knows more, since he plays bass. Those two go hand in hand. Just give it thought." He gave her his charming smile before propping himself on his elbows. He looked down at his thighs when her legs draped across them.

"That would be fun, but I can't exactly bring drums into my room and be allowed to play them."

"That's why we would have them at the warehouse my dad kept for me. It's actually where a lot of striving bands go. The room is always locked unless we are in it," he excitedly explained.

"What made you want me to be your drummer?"

"Your anger and reading what you wrote as lyrics. I bet if you focused everything you felt into playing, it would help. That way you wouldn't get into fights anymore. One day I feel like you're going to turn on me when I pull you away." He frowned, which made her sit up and scoot forward, so she would be sitting on his lap. When her lips met his, he happily smiled against them before his arm went on her lower back for support. "Sound good?"

"I have no way to even try them. I'm sort of grounded." She toyed with the collar of his shirt while staring at his lips.

"You snuck out earlier…"

"Yeah, but now I feel like she's going to put up alarms that go off when I open the door or something."

"I'm patient."

"And this whole not being able to spend time with you is starting to bum me out," she sorrowfully murmured as she slowly lifted her eyes to meet his. "A lot." When she saw his green eyes widen from understanding, she gave him a half smile.

"I feel like you should get off my lap," he stammered and gently pushed her off.

"Oh, by the way, do you have anymore cigs? My mom kind of threw them away."

"I have two on me. Does that work?"

"Two? You expect me to last two weeks on two of them?" She slid off her bed and when she looked toward the door, her mom was leaning against the door frame.

"Two of what?" Kate calmly questioned as she looked between her daughter and Trevor.

"Nothing," Rory distantly replied as she faced the bed. "I guess this means you have to leave," she gloomily muttered.

"I'll see you soon." Trevor stood up in front of her and leaned down to give a passionate kiss. "I love you," he sincerely hummed with his lips against her forehead. "Have a good one." He smiled at Kate before exiting the bedroom.

"You suck," Rory angrily growled at her mom before grabbing her phone off her bed.

"You're the one that made me ground you."

"Just because you don't trust me, doesn't mean you have to ground me." Rory collapsed onto her bed and sprawled out while staring at her ceiling.

"I never said that I don't trust you," Kate uneasily spoke as she stepped further into the room.

"You don't have to. I can tell by how often you check on me and talk to me."

"Okay, so maybe I don't have as must trust with you as I did before everything went down the drain, but I'm working on it. You have to prove to me that I can trust you again," Kate openly admitted as she sat on the edge of the bed. "Okay?"

"It doesn't bother me. I have nothing to prove to you." Rory held her arm over her eyes to hide her ruthless glare.

"Excuse me? You don't want me to trust you?"

"Why should I care? I'm not going to change how I am just to please you, Mom. You used to always tell me to be myself. Well, this is me and I'm happy with who I am."

Kate vigorously slid her fingers through her hair as Rory sat up against her headboard. She held her lips together as she observed her daughter to find that she was completely serious.

"I changed a lot to keep you off my case, but you still don't think it's enough." Rory spun her ring on her finger. "You're always looking for something to disapprove of."

"No, I'm not."

"But you are! If I were to say that I was going to the movies, you'd think that I'm going to light up and party because you never believe anything I say."

"You make it hard, Rory. You've been spitting out lies since before you were a teenager. Yeah, you're the troublemaking type, but that doesn't mean I'm going to let you be."

"Why can't you just leave me alone?" Rory hesitantly murmured while staring into her lap.

Kate used two of her fingers to tilt her daughter's chin up, so she could look into her eyes. "Because every single time I let you be, something bad happens. You never know when to stop unless I put my foot down." She waited for a response, but didn't get one. "I don't want to almost lose you again, Rory."

"You won't," Rory annoyingly growled as she pulled her head away from her mom and slid off her bed.

"I don't know that."

"Trust me when I say that you won't."

"I'm trying, but it's not easy."

Rory defeatedly plopped down in her computer chair and opened her laptop, ignoring her mom's worried look. Her mom's arm surprisingly wrapped around her torso, which made her eyes shut.

"You can try to push me away, but it won't work. I'm not giving up on you, kid." Kate planted a loving kiss on top of Rory's head before heading to the door. "Come watch the movie with us."

Rory hesitantly slid out of her chair and unhooked her laptop from the power source. She carried it under her arm and followed her mom into the living room. She kept her eyes toward her feet until she sat down in the chair diagonal the couch.

"Ever see _Bridesmaids_, Rory?" Castle curiously questioned with a smile.

"When it came out, yeah," Rory mindlessly answered as she opened her laptop.

Alexis glanced at her dad then at Rory, attempting to figure out how much Rory changed since she was sent away. To her, it didn't seem like much, but her dad said she was more civil and she had to believe him.

"Is it as funny as everyone says?" she anxiously asked Rory.

Rory finished logging into Facebook before she lifted her head at Alexis. "It's like _The Hangover_, it keeps you laughing from the beginning." She brought her stare back onto her laptop screen to see that she was tagged in a few new photos. When she opened them, she laughed out loud. "Definitely when you're spun," she lowly mumbled.

"What did you say?" Kate inquired from behind her, making Rory slam her laptop shut. "Oh, no. You're not hiding stuff from me." She sat down on the couch closest to her daughter. "Hand it over."

Rory gradually opened her laptop again and quickly untagged herself from the photos Tony uploaded, ones that showed her drinking and smoking from her welcome home party. She got to the last one and started to laugh because she forgot that her and Trevor used a hookah and the memory of him having a cough attack came back. Just as she was about to untag herself, her laptop was taken from her.

"No, no, no," she speedily said as she dove for it, but since her mom stood up, it was out of her reach.

Kate's eyes widened as she began to fume with fury. She slammed the laptop shut before heavily sitting beside Castle again. "I'm keeping this until you're no longer grounded."

"_Fine_," Rory opted out with having an argument in front of their guests. Instead, she brought her eyes onto Alexis. "Have _you_ ever seen the movie?"

"Not yet, no," Alexis answered with a slight shrug.

"I think you'd like it. There'd be something wrong with all of you if you didn't." Right after her last words, she was bopped upside the head by her mom. "Hey."

"Watch it," Kate silently mouthed to her.

…..

It was late and Rory was sitting in the middle of her bed, trying to find something to keep her boredom at ease. Since she couldn't think of anything, definitely since her laptop was taken away, she got on her floor and searched for her Vans under her bed. Once she located them, she slipped them on and headed into the hall.

Her mom's door was slightly shut, and the lights were off, indicating that she was asleep. Score.

As she made her way to the apartment door, she came to a halt. If she were to get caught, her phone would most likely be taken away. Then again… if she only walked around the block and came in as fast as possible, her mom would never know.

Just as she began to unlock the door, she felt like her mom was behind her, so she spun around. Nobody was in her sight, so she rushed with the handle and stepping into the hall. Once she entered the elevator, she noticed she had a photo message from Trevor. She opened it to see a photo of a red drum set with about four cymbals, not counting the hi-hat.

_Derek got this Tama set for pretty cheap. Double bass and everything._

Looked like she would actually be trying them out soon. Well, hopefully soon, depending on if she could get away from her mom during the day.

The elevator doors opened before she could send a text back, so she stepped out and sluggishly walked toward the outdoors. Immediately when she was about to step through the doors, she heard her name.

"Mallorie Ann, where the hell do you think you're going?" Kate tiredly, but furiously questioned from the stairway.

Rory inhaled deeply before bolting outside. She did want to run, but she knew if she did, her mom would ground her for even longer and she couldn't have that. So, she took a right and slowly walked, making it easier for her mom to catch up.

She became terrified when a hand grasped onto her shoulder, but she knew it was her mom.

"Seriously, Mallorie?" Kate roughly turned her daughter to be facing her.

"I'm _sleepwalking_," Rory answered in a ghostlike manner.

"Cut the crap. Where are you going?"

"A walk around the block…"

Even in the dark, Kate could still make out her daughter's pretty blue eyes and she couldn't find a hint of lying, which confused her.

"By yourself?"

"Why not?"

"Not this late at night, no. I've caught many serial killers that strike at night." She lifted her hand to quiet her daughter since she saw her mouth open. "You might be able to take care of yourself, but I doubt you would against a full grown man, looking to harm." Rory gave her a crushed sigh, which actually made her feel a little bad for keeping her daughter cooped up inside.

"How did you know that I left?"

"I wasn't fully asleep yet because I was worried you'd try to leave. And I was right."

Rory spun around and started to head down the sidewalk. "You're welcome to come," she irritably said.

"Looks like I have to." Kate appeared by her daughter's side and pulled her into her. "Do you do this a lot?"

"What?"

"Late night walks by yourself."

"When I can't sleep, yeah."

"Why couldn't you sleep?"

"I don't know." Rory sleepily shrugged.

They continued their walk in silence since Kate had a feeling Rory didn't want to talk and that a late night stroll would help ease her mind, so she could sleep. She kept her arm around Rory, which she surprisingly didn't mind.

It was moments like these that she wished would never end. Just spending time with Rory without yelling of any sort, just calmness between the both of them. Although she was still pretty pissed about the picture she saw on her daughter's Facebook, she could repress it for the time being and enjoy their walk together.

...

_"This is me.  
><em>

_You can take it or leave._

_Right or wrong._

_I'll stand on my own two feet.  
><em>

_Just breathe."  
><em>

_A Day to Remember - I'm Made Of Wax Larry, What Are You Made Of?  
><em>


	20. Chapter 20

It had been a couple nights since Rory last had a nightmare, and she was hoping they would stay away because they really messed with her head; they made her believe that the events taking place in them were real.

Sleep felt like it just overcame her until she was stuck inside a nightmare that she didn't know how to get out of. She ended up screaming for it to stop, which caused her wake up with a scream. Her hands frantically went over her body as she abruptly sat up. She kept telling herself that it was only a nightmare, but that didn't stop the tears from heavily flowing down her face. She held her hands over her eyes as her body began to tremble and she desperately gasped for air.

The bedroom door seemed so far away, but she needed to get out of her room. She needed to be anywhere besides this very spot. So, she basically flew off her bed and bolted for the door. She had to hold herself up against the wall as she roughly twisted the handle and yanked it, so she could see into the dark hall.

Her crying didn't seem like it was going to end and she really, really needed to stop. But she couldn't figure out how to calm down, so she stumbled into the hall. Just as she was about to fall over and hit the floor, her mom's hands caught her from under her armpits.

"Mallorie, hey," Kate soothingly spoke, although she was tremendously worried after hearing Rory scream out in her sleep.

She bit down on her bottom lip as she pulled Rory onto her feet, which took a lot of effort since she just woke up and most of Rory's weight was in her fall. After, her arms immediately wrapped around her daughter's shuddering body because she could tell she was about to collapse.

"I'm right here," Kate murmured as she held the side of Rory's head against her chest. Her chin carefully rested on the top of her daughter's head. "I'm right here."

As much as she wanted to ask Rory what she dreamt about, she knew not to question anything yet. Rory needed to calm down enough before she could say something that involved more than a few words.

While she patiently waited, she closed her eyes and took in the feeling of her crying daughter's body against hers. It was as if Rory was a missing puzzle piece for her because they fit perfectly together, though it was most likely due to the height difference. Then again, her arms would probably still hold her the same way if there wasn't a large difference.

"It's okay. I'm right here," Kate gently hummed the only words that came to mind. This was the first time in years since she had to calm Rory down after a nightmare, and she honestly forgot how she used to do it.

…..

"_Mommy!" Rory shrieked as she tightly held onto her blankets by her face in fear._

_Kate practically threw herself onto her bedroom floor when she heard Rory calling out for her. Although it was winter and cold, she didn't care to locate her slippers. Her little girl needed her, so she sped out of her room and into the hall. _

_The second she opened the bedroom door; she could hear her little girl's frightened cries, which made her heart clench. She quickly turned the light on before she rushed to the bed._

"_It's okay," she softly spoke as she sat on the mattress, so it would be easier for Rory to climb into her arms. "I've got you." She snaked her arms around Rory's small body._

_Rory curled in as close to her mom as much she could. She couldn't stop crying, so she continuously rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand to hide her face._

_Kate gently kissed Rory's forehead and rocked side to side in hope it would help calm her down. As she rocked, she hummed a short tune she remembered her mom using whenever she had a nightmare._

_She carefully rested her chin against Rory's head until she coughed extremely hard. Mindlessly, she began to rub Rory's back to try and soothe the coughing fit she was having._

"_Come on," she comfortingly spoke as she adjusted Rory, so she would be easier to carry into the kitchen. Once her arms were placed in the right position, she slid off the bed and carried Rory into the hall. _

_She came to a halt when they were beside the fridge and gradually set her daughter onto her feet. _

"_I'm right here," she assured before opening the fridge._

_She kept one arm securely draped over Rory's shoulders, so she would still feel safe. She pulled out the orange juice and let the fridge door close on its own. After, she set the juice on the counter and located two cups out of the dish strainer. As she was pouring the juice into the cups, she could feel Rory's grasp on her shirt and she felt horrible for not being able to protect her little girl from nightmares._

_While she grabbed onto the cups with one hand, she slowly turned around with Rory still against her side. She kept her freehand on Rory's upper back and guided her to the living room and in front of the couch until she climbed up._

_Immediately after sitting down, Rory was against her side, which made her arm wrap around her waist._

"_Are you okay?" she gently murmured into Rory's ear. Since she didn't get a response, she cautiously handed her daughter the smaller cup of orange juice, hoping she wouldn't spill it this time around. _

_Rory sluggishly took a few sips of her drink as her mom turned the TV on, making the living room dimly lit instead of being in the complete darkness. She bit down on the cup for a minute before she lifted it to her mom who took it and set it on the coffee table._

_Kate lightly ran her fingers through Rory's hair as she cuddled up to her. Since the crying stopped, she felt it was okay to ask questions._

"_What did you dream about?" she hesitantly asked, which made Rory shake her head against her. "It'd be better if you talked about it," she encouraged as she pushed some of Rory's hair behind her ear._

"_Grandpa dropped me off at your work and Ryan and Esposito were waiting," Rory began, but couldn't keep it up when her tears appeared in her eyes._

"_It's okay. Keep going," Kate soothed as she kissed the top of Rory's head._

"_Th-they said you were asking someone questions, so I went to the little room to watch. You were yelling at the guy who was looking at me because the glass melted away." Rory wiped her eyes with the back of her arm. "You turned around and told me to go, but I couldn't move 'cause the guy was pointing a gun at you. He pulled the trigger fast and I screamed just when you were hit. Then I woke up."_

"_That won't happen, okay?" Kate pulled Rory closer to her. "I'm not going anywhere."_

"_It felt real," Rory blubbered since she was uncontrollably crying again._

"_I know, baby, but it wasn't. I'm right here, aren't I?" She felt a nod against her side, so she carefully pried Rory from her and got off the couch. "Come on." She held her hand out, which instantly received Rory's small one. "Let's go lay you back down."_

_Kate led Rory into the hall as she looked down at her. She honestly had no clue where her daughter's imagination came from when it came to her nightmares. She hadn't been shot yet, and she hoped to keep it that way. _

_When she stopped in front of Rory's room, she noticed that Rory was no longer holding her hand, so she looked down at her side._

"_What's up?" she calmly questioned with a slight smile._

"_Please stay," Rory fearfully whined as she kept her stare toward her feet._

"_I have a better idea." Kate delicately placed her hands on Rory's shoulders and guided her into her own bedroom. "You can sleep with me tonight." She walked over to the left side of the bed and pulled the blankets down before patting the spot. Once Rory was situated, she climbed over her legs to the other side. "Better?"_

_Rory nodded as she watched her mom lay down on her back with her head facing her. She scooted closer to her mom and nestled under her arm, which wrapped around her lower back. _

_Kate began to softly play with Rory's hair until she could hear the steady breathing, which indicated that she was falling asleep. Before she attempted to sleep again, she lovingly kissed her daughter's forehead._

"_I love you," she whispered and smiled when she saw Rory's arm drape across her stomach. _

…..

Rory's gasp for air was what pulled Kate out of her distant memory. She tilted her head and tried to see Rory's face, but it didn't work because her daughter was buried in her shirt.

Since it didn't seem like Rory was going to calm down any time soon, Kate decided to bring her into her bedroom. She flipped the light switch on and guided Rory to the bed. Once she had her sitting down, she gradually took a seat beside her.

"Hey, you don't need to be so upset," Kate softly murmured with a frown. "It wasn't real." She brushed her daughter's messy hair behind her ear. "I promise that it wasn't real."

"Mom," Rory cried out, which made her immediately get pulled into her mom's arms.

"I'm right here, kid. I'm right here," Kate gently assured as she held Rory closer than before. "Must've been a pretty vivid nightmare, hm?"

"I don't want to die," Rory blubbered while shaking her head against her mom.

"And you're not going to. I will do everything in my power to make sure that you don't. Understand?"

Rory sluggishly nodded as she wiped her exhausted eyes. If only she could describe what happened in her dream without breaking down, she would. She wanted her mom's reassuring words, even though they didn't always help, but she couldn't bring herself to talk.

"Do you want something to drink?" Kate calmly inquired as she rested the side of her face against Rory's head.

"Yeah," Rory whispered with a slight nod.

"Will you be okay in here or do you want to come with me?"

Rory tiredly lifted her head off her mom and slid off the bed to stand. The moment her feet touched the floor, she began to topple over because she was a tad light headed.

"Hey, take it slow," Kate softly spoke as she helped Rory stand up straight. "Okay?" She got a nod as a response, so she got off the bed and wrapped her arm around Rory's shoulders.

She protectively escorted Rory into the kitchen and pulled out one of the chairs at the table. Once Rory was seated, she stepped over to the fridge and opened it. She pulled out the pink lemonade and brought it to the counter. Since she wasn't thirsty, she pulled out one cup from the cupboard and filled it to the middle. After placing the lemonade back into the fridge, she softly tapped Rory's shoulder to get her attention.

"Come on, kid." She warmly smiled as she watched Rory lick her bottom lip and rub her eyes before standing up. Her arm instinctively went around her daughter's shoulders to guide her back to the bedroom. "Do you want to sleep with me?" she asked when they were sitting on the edge of the bed again.

"Please?"

"Of course." Kate watched Rory crawl over to the left side of the bed and hesitantly get under the blankets. Since Rory was sitting against the headboard, she decided it was okay to hand the drink over before she turned the light out and got under the blankets herself.

Rory took a few sips out of the cup before placing it on the side table to her left. Then, she heavily rested her head against the headboard while staring straight forward, her nightmare still fresh in her mind.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Kate gently asked. Rory shook her head while staring at her lap. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Rory uncertainly mumbled before making herself lay down.

"You're still scared," Kate whispered her observation of Rory's trembling body. She laid on her side and held her right arm up. "Come here." Once Rory was close to her, she let her arm sympathetically drape over her daughter before pulling her more near.

Rory curled her arms into her upper body as she closed her eyes while taking in her mom's scent. She just had a nightmare in which she witnessed her own funeral and felt every single emotion that was being cast from the people that loved her. It was terrifying and she still couldn't erase it from her mind. But the feeling of her mom holding her close really, really helped. Also, being in her mom's bed always made her feel more safe and secure than normal. She would rather fall asleep cuddled to her mom like a child instead of attempting to sleep in her room again. And of course, she knew her mom didn't mind.

"I love you, Rory," Kate peacefully hummed with her lips planted against her daughter's forehead.

"I love you too," Rory replied in a low whisper just as she was drifting further into slumber, another thing she loved about sleeping in her mom's bed; sleep was almost instant.

Kate gently ran the backs of her fingers down Rory's cheek. Her daughter still needed her, even though if she asked, it would be denied. But the simple fact of knowing that her sixteen year old still needed her and that she helped her feel safe, made her feel less like a terrible mom and made her incredibly happy.

…..

The sun shining onto the bed through the shades was what woke Rory out of her deep sleep. She rolled on her stomach and rubbed her eyes, not quite ready to open them. But once the smell of waffles made its way to her nose, she had to see what time it was. Her eyes slowly opened, so they could adjust to the light. She became confused when she realized that she was in her mom's bed until the recent memory of her nightmare came back.

_It wasn't real. It wasn't real._

She repeated herself over and over, trying to make it stick, but the emotions she felt were so realistic. How could she let it go like most of her other nightmares?

As she lifted her head to the right side of the bed, she noticed that she was smack dab in the middle of the mattress. A smile formed across her lips when she imagined herself hogging the bed, but then again, if she was cuddled to someone, she hardly moved.

The alarm told her that it was a little past noon, which got her to sit up and hang her feet over the edge of the bed. Just as she was about to get off, she noticed that her hands were shaking. Her brows furrowed in bewilderment until an image of her nightmare flashed before her eyes. Suddenly, her breathing picked up pace, which made her rush onto the floor.

Since her chest felt tight and she couldn't figure out how to breathe right, she headed out of her mom's room as fast as possible. She had to hold onto the hall wall as she made her way to the living room. She didn't understand why she couldn't breathe and it was honestly scaring her to death, which made it even worse.

Oh… she was having a panic attack, wasn't she? Some of her other friends had experienced them, but she never did.

She tried to call out to her mom who was only a few yards away, but she couldn't form the words.

Kate just took the fourth waffle out of the maker when she heard a light thud from the other room. Quickly, she set it on a plate before rushing toward the noise. Once she saw Rory sitting against the side of the couch, she cautiously squatted down in front of her to find that she was gasping for air.

"Hey," she anxiously spoke. "Relax."

"I-I can't b-breathe," Rory breathlessly stammered as she held the back of her neck toward her lap.

"I can tell. Just take slow, deep breaths," Kate softly commanded while observing how her daughter actually listened. "Any better?"

Rory squeezed her eyes shut and concentrated on taking deep breaths. Once she felt it was safe enough, she opened her eyes to be met with her mom's worried ones.

"Better," she muttered while looking toward the kitchen.

Kate shook her head with a slight grin. She mindlessly grabbed onto Rory's hands and lifted her onto her feet.

"Hungry?" she questioned.

"Sorta." Rory slightly shrugged before following her mom into the kitchen. She took her seat at her usual spot. After her mom set her waffle in front of her, knocking came from the door.

She observed how her mom happily walked to the door and unlocked it. Since she didn't really want to know who was here, she looked down at her waffle to have a nauseous feeling take over. Odd. Her mouth normally would be watering at the sight of her mom's homemade breakfast.

"Hey, Lanie. Hey, Castle," her mom joyously greeted.

Rory shifted her gaze onto the apartment door to witness Lanie and Castle stepping through. It wasn't until then did she realize that there were two other plates on the table.

She definitely wasn't hungry anymore.

"Aren't you gonna eat?" Kate inquired with a raised brow.

"I'm not hungry," Rory mumbled while she stared at her plate. Just as Lanie and Castle sat down in the empty chairs, she got out of hers and headed toward her room.

"Is she okay?" Castle curiously asked as he watched Rory disappear into the hall.

"She had a pretty intense nightmare last night, which made her sleep in my bed with me. So… I don't think she's exactly okay. If she wakes up screaming from one, it takes her awhile to get her head out of it," Kate answered his question with information that she actually knew.

"Maybe you should follow her," Lanie added in as she began to cut the waffle in front of her.

"No, I'll let her be for a little while," Kate replied with a smile as she plopped down in her chair. "How are you guys?"

"Tired," Lanie answered first.

"Bored without murder cases," Castle pleasantly answered as he jabbed a piece of his waffle with his fork. "You?"

"Worried, but good." Kate nodded with a grin.

Rory tiredly leaned against the hall wall as she listened to her mom's conversation. They were talking about her as usual, which made her roll her eyes before heading into her bedroom. She lifted her mattress to find the small hole where she normally hid her drugs, but lately, she only put cigarettes in here. She carefully pulled out one that Trevor let her have.

Then, she dragged her feet to her side table and opened the drawer. Once her lighter was in her hand, she made her way to her mom's bedroom. Since everyone was at the table and she knew how to be quiet, she walked over to the window and silently lifted it. When there was enough space for her to get out, she ducked under the window and let one of her feet rest on the fire escape. After she was fully through, she climbed up the ladder, so her mom wouldn't be able to see if she were to come searching for her.

Her lips strongly held the cigarette she placed between them. She lit the end and deeply inhaled, which ended up making her cough. The back of her hand covered her mouth before she felt it was safe to take another long drag.

Just the taste of the Newport between her fingers made her feel so much better. She felt more relaxed, although she wasn't completely. But at least she was getting there, right?

It only seemed like five minutes had gone by, but when she heard her mom calling for her, she had a feeling it was way more than that. Looked like she had to climb down and go back inside, even if she yearned to stay out. She didn't want to get grounded longer than she already was, so she flicked her finished cigarette over the ledge and cautiously walked down the ladder. Once in front of her mom's bedroom window, she climbed back in. When she was standing straight, she looked up to be met with her mom's narrowed eyes.

"Just getting fresh air to… clear my head," Rory speedily spoke from being nervous.

"Does fresh air include cigarette smoke?" Kate irritably questioned as her arms folded across her chest.

"No…" Rory rocked on the heels of her feet, something she learned from watching her Grandpa.

"I thought I threw them out."

"You did." Rory anxiously nodded.

Kate was confused since Rory wasn't defending herself like normal. That nightmare must have really bothered her daughter more than she thought. If only she knew more details…

"Why don't you go eat?" She decided not to badger Rory too much, afraid if she did that Rory would have either a panic attack or something else.

"I'm not hungry," Rory mumbled while she started for the door.

"You have to eat something," Kate worriedly spoke as she followed her daughter into the living room. She watched her heavily plop down on the couch and turn the TV on. "Please?"

"I'm not hungry," Rory growled while she gripped onto the remote.

Kate was ready to dismiss her daughter until she heard her stomach growling. She shook her head as her eyes began to roll.

"Come on." She took the remote out of Rory's hand and got off the couch. Then, she gently pulled Rory onto her feet and used her hands on her shoulders to guide her into the kitchen. "Eat something."

Rory gradually sat down in her chair while keeping her eyes directed at her plate. She honestly wasn't hungry, even though her stomach disagreed. But since she had a feeling her mom wouldn't get off her case about eating, she picked up her fork on the right, which made her angry.

She huffed when she switched the fork to her left hand and stabbed a piece of waffle with it.

Kate sat down beside Castle and Rory with her hand in her chin. She could see Rory getting frustrated, but she didn't understand from what.

"What's the deal, kid?" she decided to ask.

"I'm left handed, not right," Rory quickly answered before she inserted the waffle into her mouth.

"Isn't that the side silverware is supposed to go on?" Castle questioned in defense of his partner.

"Not at home. It's usually on the left." Rory shrugged as her eyes met his. She squinted at them when she noticed something new. It wasn't care, no, it was… love? Her forked ended up slipping out of her hand and clattering onto the plate. "I'm gonna shower," she stammered as she stumbled out of her chair and rushed for the bathroom.

"What did I do?" Castle sorrowfully spoke while he let his head hang.

"Yeah, what did he do?" Lanie teased to lighten his mood, which got him to smile.

"I'm not sure," Kate said with a sigh. "She's pretty hard to read, yet she can read just about anyone."

"So… you're saying she just got something out of me in that little amount of time?" Castle inquired with a squeak. "How is that possible?"

"Because Rory is smart," Lanie answered just as her friend's mouth opened.

"That and she can sense how other people feel pretty damn easily. There was this one time when I brought her to one of your book signings…. No, I should save that for after I'm done eating," Kate quickly abolished her thoughts, which made Lanie sit up straighter, intrigued. Great.

"Oh no. You can't start something and end it like that," Lanie said with narrowed eyes.

"Okay, fine. I brought her with me to one of your book signings, Castle. She was about seven years old," Kate softly began.

…

"_Can we go now?" Rory impatiently pestered her mom for about the millionth time._

"_Not yet. They are only ten more people in front of us. I think you can hold on for a little longer," Kate answered as she forced her daughter to stand in front of her._

"_I have to pee!" Rory whined as she did a small potty dance._

_Kate sharply bit down on her bottom lip. Her daughter was not about to make her go to the back of the line after bringing her to the bathroom. She doubted that the lady behind her would let her take her place back._

"_Can you hold it?"_

"_Look!" Rory exclaimed as she pointed to her far left. "It says… restroom," she sounded out the bold letters. "Be right back." She bolted forward until her shirt was grabbed and she was yanked back._

"_Seven more people and then I'll take you to the bathroom."_

"_But I gotta go _now_," Rory angrily complained as she attempted to run to the bathroom, but this time her mom's arm blocked her from in front of her torso._

"_Relax because there's only five more people in front of us," Kate sternly commanded since Rory was trying to wiggle her way free. "Take a deep breath and just chill."_

_Rory listened to what her mom said. When she was far calmer than before, she used both of her hands to push her wavy hair out of her face. She pulled the collar of her shirt to her mouth and bit down on it to distract the need to use the bathroom._

_As Kate softly played with her daughter's hair, she realized that she was only a few feet from Richard Castle. The Richard Castle that unknowingly helped her out of the dark hole that swallowed her after her mother's death. Of course, he wasn't the only one that helped, but his words on the page made her forget everything when she would read them. Well, that was when Rory wouldn't disturb her or cause some sort of trouble._

_She was only two people away from the table and her knees were beginning to shake because her nerves were on end. What if she talked like an idiot? If Rory witnessed it, she would not let it go for a few days. She didn't understand why she even brought Rory with her, but then again, nobody could babysit her. And she didn't mind spending some extra time with her daughter, even if it was cruel to make an attention disordered kid stand in line for over two hours._

_Oh well. She would make up for it afterwards by going to get ice cream or something sweet. As she thought about it, she couldn't recall giving Rory her medicine this morning. If she were to give her daughter sugary foods, she would cause a sugar rush to happen in public, something she wished to avoid at all costs._

_When she looked down, she noticed that Rory had her head tilted toward her with squinted eyes._

"_What?"_

"_You're scared," Rory accused with a smile, making her shirt fall out of her mouth._

"_I am not," Kate lied as she tried to figure out how Rory knew that._

"_You are!" Rory pointed up at her mom with a playful smirk. "You're blushing!"_

_Kate delicately placed her hand on Rory's head and made it go straight. "Head forward."_

"_Hmph," Rory frustratingly huffed while she folded her arms across her chest._

_Kate didn't understand how her little Rory could tell that she was nervous. It wasn't like she was shaking in her spot or pacing back and forth. Then again, her daughter has always been good at sensing emotions since she was a toddler. It was something she needed to master; show no emotion with her little girl around, so it wouldn't get pointed out._

_The moment she brought her attention back to the line, she realized that she was in front of the table, receiving Richard Castle's charming smile. She gradually handed him her book, their eyes staying glued to one another's._

"_My mommy likes you," Rory blurted out as she went on her tiptoes, so her chin would be a little above the table._

"_Does she?" Castle enthusiastically questioned with a smile as he opened the cover to the book. "Who am I making it out to?" His eyes met Kate's again, which made him grin._

_Rory bit down on the table and looked up at her mom with her eyes. "She's nervous."_

_Kate shot her daughter a look to be quiet before she let her stare fall onto Castle. "You can make it out to Kate."_

"_Kate. That's a pretty name," Castle pleasantly complimented as he began to write in the cover. "What's this little one's name?" He gestured toward Rory who was swinging from the edge of the table since she was still short enough._

"_This one's name is Mallorie, Rory for short," Kate nervously stammered. She was having a conversation with the man and her heart was going about fifty thousand miles per hour._

"_Well, Rory." Castle leaned over the table to get a better view of the little girl. "You have very pretty eyes, like your mom's."_

"_Mommy's are green, silly," Rory giggled with a large smile. "Mine are blue!"_

"_A very pretty shade of blue," Castle pointed out with a childish grin. He honestly didn't want these two to leave because they were the first people that didn't ooh and ahh over him. But he had many more books to sign, so he handed Kate hers back. "Have a good one."_

"_You too," Kate said in an almost whisper. She placed her free hand on Rory's upper back and guided her toward the bathroom. "Go," she encouraged as she held the door open. Once Rory walked into the bathroom, Kate leaned against the wall beside the door._

_Her heart rate was still pretty fast and she didn't know how to calm it, so she opened the cover to her book and read what Castle put._

"_To the extraordinary, beautiful mother named Kate – Richard Castle," she mouthed his words, which made her face get hot._

_Rory rushed out of the bathroom and ended up colliding with her mom. She peered up at her with a smile until she saw her mom blushing._

"_I gotta tell him something!" she excitedly shouted before dashing back toward Castle._

"_Mallorie, no!" Kate yelled as she chased her daughter to the front of the bookstore._

"_My mommy wants to marry you," Rory speedily said when she was next to the table. _

"_Well, how about that?" Castle grinned ear to ear when Kate appeared behind her daughter._

…..

_"Out of body and out of mind.  
><em>

_Kiss the demons out of my dreams._

_I get the funny feeling that's alright."_

_Green Day - Give Me Novacaine  
><em>


	21. Chapter 21

"I don't think I remember that," Castle mumbled as he tightly shut his eyes and held his hands over them, trying to rack his brain for the memory.

"I wouldn't expect you to," Kate replied with a shrug as she began to eat her waffle.

Castle didn't want to let this one go. He wanted to remember, he had to remember, definitely since he met Kate and Rory before. There must have been some sort of detail that he could recall upon.

He was ready to give up until a flash of Rory's captivating blue eyes came across him. And soon after that, the small voice of a little girl telling him that her mom wants to marry him came back to him.

"I do remember!" he abruptly spoke as his hands fell onto the table.

Lanie shot Kate a look before she brought her confused stare onto Castle.

"What do you remember?" Lanie questioned as she grabbed onto her orange juice she got when Kate was telling the story.

"I remember Rory's eyes and her small voice," Castle excitedly admitted with a playful grin.

"Not shocking that you remember them." Kate reached over for the syrup, so he ended up handing it to her.

"Why do you say that?" he curiously questioned.

"I'm guessing that you never really looked at them," Lanie jumped in with a smile.

"Well, most of the times that I did, it felt like they were piercing right through me, so I never looked at them for a long while."

"Understandable," Lanie replied in a teasing manner.

"I don't know how she does it either." Kate bit down on the bottom corner of her lip.

"Stare into your soul?" Lanie let out a loud laugh, which made her hand jump up to cover her mouth. "Sorry."

"Not that drastic, but close. All she does is just glare into your own eyes and it makes you feel super uneasy," Castle explained in a whisper because he felt like Rory was listening to them.

"Maybe you two should realize that she's only a teenager and can't do any harm to you," Kate said as she finished the last few bites of her waffle.

"She was violent the other day…" Castle didn't want to finish his train of thought because of the narrowed eyes he received from Kate.

"I doubt she would go after an adult. I really do," Kate slightly growled, causing him to squirm in his a seat a few times.

"What time is it?" Lanie inquired to get rid of the awkwardness.

"Almost one," Kate answered when she lifted her wrist to glance at her watch. "You need to head back?"

"Yeah," Lanie answered with a smile as she put her fork, cup, and napkins onto the plate. She brought them over to the sink before making her way to the door. "Call me later. I have something to talk to you about."

"You can do it here," Castle added in with a smirk.

"No, I can't." Lanie slid her shoes on and waited for Kate to appear beside her. "Thanks for… brunch. Be sure to call me later."

"Of course," Kate responded with a shrug before she hugged her best friend and opened the door for her. Once she was out of sight, she spun around to see Castle looking toward the living room. "What?"

"Nothing," he speedily answered and brought his attention back to his unfinished waffle.

Kate knew he saw something, so she walked into the living room to see Rory lying on the couch with her finger in her mouth. She decided to sit on the coffee table to grab her attention.

"What are you doing?"

Rory sluggishly turned her head toward her mom and shrugged before letting her eyes fall back on the ceiling.

Kate rolled her eyes before leaning forward and grabbing onto Rory's wrist. When she pulled it away from Rory's mouth, her finger fell out. She witnessed blood immediately start to gather on it.

"Were you trying to clean the razor, again?" she questioned with enough worry to make Rory sit up and stare at her.

"No, Mom. I was totally trying to cut my finger on the razor because that's what I do," Rory lowly spoke as she quickly averted her mom's annoyed glare.

"Did you clean it?" Kate inquired to avoid the conversation that could happen from what her daughter said.

"I am _not_ putting peroxide on it, if that's what you're asking."

Kate slid off the table and made her way to the bathroom. She opened the mirror and pulled out the peroxide and a band-aid. After, she opened the sink drawer to grab onto a cotton ball. Once she had everything she needed, she walked back to the living room to find Rory hanging upside down over the back of the couch.

She cleared her throat, which made Rory flip over and peer over the cushion in her direction.

"Sit," Kate gently demanded and observed how Rory hopped over the back of the couch and sat with her legs crossed.

"No," Rory quickly disagreed with what she just saw in her mom's hand.

"Too bad." Kate took her seat back on the coffee table and unscrewed the top to the peroxide. She got the cotton ball pretty soaked with it before she let her stare fall onto her daughter. "Do you want to do it?"

"Nope." Rory shook her head and began to get off the couch until her mom softly pushed her shoulder back. Of course, it made her fall into her spot.

"Let me see." Since Kate couldn't get Rory to show her, she latched onto her daughter's arm and pulled it to her. "Jesus."

"Razors cut pretty bad," Rory murmured. She sharply bit down on her bottom lip when her mom wiped over her finger with the peroxide soaked cotton ball. "That's enough." She yanked her arm out of her mom's grasp and picked up the band-aid off her lap. It took her a few tries, but she got it to stay on her finger. "Now, I'm leaving."

Kate held her hand on Rory's shoulder to keep her seated. "What?"

"I'm going to my room?"

"You think you're going to be able to leave because I had guests come over. That's not how being grounded works."

"But I'm so bored!" Rory loudly whined and threw her head into the back of the couch.

"Maybe you will think about that the next time you decide to do something bad," Kate said harsher than she intended. She got back onto her feet and lightly patted her daughter's head before walking into the kitchen. "Almost done, Castle?"

"Actually, I've been done. I didn't want to interrupt you two," he kindly replied with a grin.

"Interrupt next time," Rory said loud enough for him to hear. "Fuckin' hate peroxide. It hurts like a bitch."

"Hold on one second." Kate gave him a forced smile, but it disappeared when she angrily marched to Rory. "Go to your room, now," she growled into her ear from behind the couch.

"What? Why?"

"I'm sick of your language. Now, go." Kate watched as Rory hesitantly got onto her feet and walked toward the hall. "Sorry about that," she apologized to Castle who simply shrugged. "I honestly don't know where she gets it from."

"Herself?" Castle guessed with a smile.

"Probably. I don't know," Kate answered with an exasperated sigh.

"I made you a cup of coffee." Castle decided to motion toward the mug to get Kate away from frustration.

"Thanks," she pleasantly responded as she lifted the cup and brought it to her lips. The taste of the amazing coffee made her eyes close in delight. When she opened them, she felt like Castle was closer, but that was only her imagination.

"I'm going to head out. I have an afternoon date with Alexis soon."

"What are you two going to do?" Kate curiously asked as she followed him to the door.

"Maybe go to a few museums and then dinner," he answered as he bent down to tie his shoes. "I'll see you soon?"

"You're allowed over in the morning before Rory wakes up, which varies."

"Okay."

Castle was much closer to Kate than he had ever been, except when they had their undercover kiss. He wanted his lips to connect with her teasing ones, but he believed that it wasn't time. Although Rory was better than before, he didn't want to mess it up. But he was just so close…

As he stepped forward, Kate took one back. She knew what he was going for, but she didn't want it yet. Well, she did, but she had a feeling Rory would walk into it and that would cause so many problems.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Castle," she nervously stammered as she opened the apartment door and watched him walk out.

"Until tomorrow, Detective," he said with his charming smile.

…..

"Hey, Mom, you're going to be late for work!" Rory shouted from the hall.

She was far more excited than ever that her mom was going back to work and she was no longer grounded. The two weeks went by exceedingly slow, but at least they were finally over.

Just as her mom's bedroom door opened, she went down on her stomach on the floor a little ways from the entrance to the hall, so she couldn't be spotted. The second her mom stepped out, she pulled the trigger on her Nerf gun. The dart hit her mom right in the forehead, which made her blue eyes widen.

What a perfect way to start the morning by getting her mom pissed.

"How are you even awake?" Kate frustratingly hissed as she walked down the hall. When she saw Rory hiding around the corner, she rolled her eyes. "Are you five?"

"Yes. Yes, I am." Rory grinned ear to ear, making her mom shake her head and walk toward the kitchen. She left her Nerf gun on the floor and sped after her mom. "I made you coffee."

"I see that." Kate picked up the mug on the right, which made her realize that there were two. "Who's the second…" She spun around on her heel to face her daughter. "Did you have coffee?"

"No. Why would I do that? You yell at me _every single time_ that I drink some."

"Then what was in this one?" Kate beckoned toward the other mug.

"Tea. Green tea," Rory truthfully answered with a smile.

Kate annoyingly ran her hand down her face before she slid her fingers through her hair.

"What?" Rory questioned with furrowed brows.

"Green tea still has caffeine in it. Even if you do take your medicine, it will still have an effect."

"Why can't I have caffeine near you? I can control it!"

"Because you're caffeine sensitive. Very, very sensitive."

"I know that." Rory rolled her eyes in aggravation. "But some every once in a while won't kill me. Besides, green tea doesn't even have that much. Coffee on the other hand…"

"You know what?" Kate questioned as she headed toward the door.

"What?"

"If you do get hyped up, I won't be here." Kate gave her daughter a warm smile before she slid her flats on.

"What time will you be home?" Rory inquired since she wanted to do some things and she needed to know when to stop doing them. Getting caught on the first day of not being grounded was not something she wanted.

"Since there's no case, probably around seven. Why?" Kate narrowed her eyes, attempting to figure out what Rory was getting at.

"Just wondering." Rory heavily shrugged.

"You're grandpa will be here at 3 o'clock. Although you're no longer grounded, you will be checked on. Got it?"

"You act like I'm ten!"

"Sometimes you act like you are. The Nerf gun thing when I came out of my room is a perfect example." Kate took a few steps toward Rory. "Just behave, okay?"

"Fine," Rory huffed and annoyingly rolled her eyes.

Without warning, she was pulled into her mom's arms. For some strange reason, she didn't mind it too much because she knew her mom's life would be in danger if a case were to pop up. She would end up being on edge, wondering if her mom would actually be coming home. Great.

"Behave," Kate softly murmured as she planted a gentle kiss on Rory's forehead. "Please."

Rory gradually nodded her head as she watched her mom walk out of the apartment door. When she knew she was gone, she ran toward her room and climbed back into bed. Her plans with Trevor weren't for another few hours, so she had more time to sleep, and it was highly needed.

Immediately after she felt like she fell asleep, her phone started to go off, so she blindly reached for it. Once it was in her hand, she set it against her ear.

"Hello," she tiredly rasped as she rubbed her eyes to help wake up.

"I'll be there in ten minutes," Trevor enthusiastically announced on the other end.

"Mkay." Rory ended the call and rushed out of bed.

She quickly went through her dresser, causing a large mess on her floor. Once she found the purple shorts she was searching for and her Misfits tank top, she grabbed a pair of underwear out of the top drawer and ran to the bathroom.

It only seemed like she just put her mascara on when there was knocking from the door. She looked at the time on her phone to see it had been fifteen minutes. Instead of running to the door, she finished with her makeup and brushed her teeth.

As she headed toward the impatient knocking, she noticed that she had a few texts from her mom, so she opened them. They all asked where she was and if she was behaving. She ended up sending a message back, saying that she just woke up, again. After, she set her phone on the kitchen table before she opened the door to be met with a smiling Trevor.

"Hey."

That was all she had to say to be pulled into his arms and have him passionately kissing her.

When he eventually pulled away, she stayed on her tiptoes and kept her eyes on his lips. She _definitely_ missed that.

"It feels like I haven't seen you in forever," he breathlessly murmured as he walked into the apartment, making her back up.

She watched him close the door and lock it. Seconds after he faced her again, she pulled the collar of his shirt down, so she could kiss him once more.

This time, their kiss was tremendously arousing, which made Rory lead him over to the couch. She fell back against the arm of it and onto the cushions. She playfully smirked when he began to climb over her.

She unquestionably missed his feverish, hot lips against her jaw and neck and the way he made her head spin. How did she go two weeks without him? He was ridiculously intoxicating and she couldn't wait for more.

…..

"Sit behind them," Trevor encouraged Rory as he shut the door to the room.

"They won't bite," Derek added in with a laugh as he strapped his bass on.

Rory narrowed her eyes at Derek as she plopped down on the drum stool. She never played drums before, but as her eyes deliberately scanned the cymbals, something felt right about them.

Just as she was about to ask Trevor for drumsticks, Derek hit a note on his bass, making her jump. She watched him scramble to turn down his amplifier, which made her laugh out loud.

"I forgot to turn it down last time," Derek stammered as he rubbed his ears.

"I can see that," Trevor replied as he shook his head. He walked over to the drum set and handed Rory two drumsticks. "We are going to play a riff over and over until you come up with something. Just keep your foot pressed down on the hi-hat, unless you plan to experiment with double bass. If you want, it can be the simplest beat." He gave her a bright smile before he backed away and nodded at Derek.

Rory listened to the music they were playing a few times. She didn't want to look like she was randomly hitting stuff, but a beat popped in her head. So, she closed her eyes and envisioned where her arms would be going across the kit. Once she was done, she gradually opened her eyes and began to play what she just thought of.

She was so lost in what she was doing that she didn't realize that Derek and Trevor stopped playing. When she did notice, she looked between the two of them and slowly brought her arms to her side.

"I told you I suck," she eventually stated with a shrug.

There was a long pause until Derek glanced over at Trevor.

"You're a fuckin' prodigy!" he gleefully exclaimed.

"What?" Rory questioned with her brows furrowed in confusion.

"Did you not hear yourself playing?" Trevor asked with his mouth still dropped open. "Are you positive you never played before?"

"I fuckin' recorded it too," Derek practically shouted from the smallish table near the door. "Listen." He pressed a few buttons to get to the play option. When he hit it, he turned back around to face everyone.

Once it became silent, Trevor lifted his guitar off his shoulder and set it against the wall. He walked around the drum set and deviously grinned.

"What?" Rory inquired with a slight smile.

"With enough practice and teaching from me or Derek, you could be one of the best drummers I know," he sincerely spoke.

"Honestly, Rory, you're brilliant. We just need to have your buddy…" Derek snapped his fingers at Trevor until he remembered. "We need to have Max take a listen since he's rhythm guitar."

"That's true." Trevor nodded as his eyes stayed glued onto Rory. "So, will you be our drummer?"

"I really like playing them. It's like something else takes over and it's really fucking fun," she enthused as she carefully set the drumsticks on the snare drum.

"I still can't believe it." Derek began to pace the room. He ran his hands through his messy hair, casting both Trevor and Rory a large grin. "This is fuckin' brilliant."

"We just need to teach her some stuff, have her listen to the songs we already have, so she can write in the drum parts, and get lyrics," Trevor voiced his thoughts aloud.

"I can help with lyrics if you want," Rory chimed in.

"Could you?" Trevor inquired and backed away when she made her way around the drum set.

"I don't see why not. I mean, we could all just meet here and write them together, but if you want me to come up with some stuff, sure." Rory gave them a large shrug before she plopped down on the couch to the far left. She picked her phone up off the cushion to see that she had four missed called from her mom. "What time is it? Oh, shit," she mumbled when she saw that it was past 8 o'clock.

"What?" Derek sped over and dropped down beside her.

"What he said," Trevor spoke as he dug his phone out of his back pocket.

"Well, I forgot that my mom was probably going to be home around seven and she sounds pretty pissed." Rory held her phone flat in her hand and put her voicemail on speaker.

_I have been trying to get a hold of you for over an hour. When you listen to this, you best be on your way home. I'm not playing games anymore, Mallorie._

Rory bit down on her bottom lip pretty hard as she deleted it. She caught a glimpse of Derek holding his hand over his mouth. Her eyes narrowed at him until she realized he was trying not to laugh.

"You're an ass." She shoved his shoulder, making him tip over into the couch.

"You best be going home now, Mallorie," Derek teased with a loud chuckle.

"Come on." Trevor held his hand out to her until he felt hers. "I'll walk you."

"Leave the keys, so I can lock up," Derek said, getting tossed the keys. "See you tomorrow, Rory!"

Trevor guided Rory into the hall and toward the staircase. Once they descended the steps and walked outside, he felt her stiffen against him.

"What?" he gently asked, afraid he did something wrong.

"I swear I just saw my mom's car," Rory uncertainly whispered as she looked down the street.

"Doubt it." Trevor pulled her closer to his side, so his arm could wrap around her waist. "Let's get you home before you get grounded again."

"Oh shit. What if my eyes are still bloodshot?"

He stepped in front of her and pulled his phone out. He turned the flashlight on and shined it in her eyes.

"All clear," he assured with a smile.

"Okay, good," she replied with a large breath of relief.

They ended up taking the long way back to the apartment. Once in front of it, Rory let out an upset sigh.

"What's wrong?" Trevor curiously questioned as he pulled her in for a tight hug.

"It feels weird coming home before midnight," she giggled into his shirt. Her chin rested against his chest as she looked up at him. "I love you."

"I love you too," he murmured before their lips connected.

The kiss would have lasted longer if Rory's phone didn't start to ring. She had to force herself to pull away from Trevor to answer it. When she saw that it was her mom calling, she ignored it.

"I gotta go." She gave him another quick peck before dashing toward the door. "Call me."

"I will before I go to bed, as usual," he happily said.

Rory opted out on taking the elevator since the stairs would be faster. She opened the door to the stairway and practically flew up the steps. Once she got to the correct floor, she was a little out of breath, so she sluggishly made her way into the empty hall.

The moment she stood in front of the apartment door, a huge wave of anxiety took over. What if her mom grounded her for another two weeks? What if her mom could tell that she smoked weed today?

She began to falter away from the door and even more when she saw the handle turn.

Her mom looked absolutely, without a doubt, furious. If it was one of the classic cartoons, steam would probably be flowing out of her ears.

"Get inside, now," Kate hostilely demanded and made room for Rory to walk past her.

After they were both inside, she slammed the door shut and locked it. She observed how Rory frantically pulled her shoes off and walked toward her room.

"You're not walking away from this one, kid. Sit down in the kitchen," Kate frustratingly shouted, which made her daughter detour to the kitchen and heavily plop down in one of the chairs. "Why the hell weren't you answering my calls?"

"I couldn't hear them," Rory murmured as she kept her eyes fixated on the table.

"Were you at a party?"

"No." Rory shook her head and began to bounce her foot in apprehension.

"Then where were you?" Kate roughly pulled out the chair across from her daughter and sat in it.

"With Trev."

"Oh, I know that. Your grandpa said that he was here when he checked on you earlier," Kate angrily accused.

"Maybe for like a half hour," Rory uttered while she attempted to avoid her mom's eye contact, so she wouldn't get any more nervous than she already was.

"A half hour?"

"Yeah."

Kate shook her head and stood up. She kept her glare glued on Rory as she picked up the square wrappers on the counter. After she was closer to the table, she slammed them in front of her daughter, causing her to jump.

"That's a lie," Kate spoke in a deep, throttled manner.

Rory couldn't form enough saliva to swallow the large knot in the back of her throat. The two condom wrappers, that Trevor used, were directly in front of her.

"I'm sorry," Rory whispered the only thing that came to mind.

"No, I don't think you are. I think now that you're no longer grounded, you believe you can do whatever you damn please."

"I remember your rules…"

"Obviously you don't because I told you just last night that he is not allowed here when I'm not home. This-" She motioned her hand toward the condom wrappers. "-is why."

"I forgot," Rory nervously replied as she bit down on her tongue.

Before she was committed to the psychiatric hospital, she would never get scared of her mom when she yelled. It was like something in her head changed ever since the voices were gone, and she wanted it back. She wanted to be able to sit through the yelling, but she honestly couldn't. Nor could she get up to go hide in her room.

Since she didn't have the ability to move, tears began to form in her eyes. Immediately after one slipped onto her cheek, she folded her arms onto the table and let her head rest on them.

Kate didn't know how to react when she noticed that Rory's body was slightly shuddering, illustrating that she was crying. Never had she made Rory cry when she shouted.

She decided to squat down beside Rory and speak into her ear. "I'm sorry for yelling, but this can't go on in my house."

Rory abruptly slid the chair back, making her mom stand up and recede a few paces.

"I'm sorry I'm such a fuck up!" Rory yelled as she tightly held onto the hair at the sides of her head.

"That's not what-"

"Just please stop yelling at me," Rory blubbered as she sped toward her room. Little did she know that her mom would follow her and pull her into her arms. "I'm too weak now," she stuttered into her mom's shirt.

"No, you're not. You've been through a lot recently and me yelling probably didn't help. I was scared something happened because you weren't answering my calls. And then I come home and search the living room and your room to find empty condom wrappers," Kate gently murmured into Rory's ear. "I know I gave you a huge set of rules last night and I know I shouldn't have expected you to remember every single one. I'm sorry I upset you."

"Just don't yell at me like that," Rory hesitated as she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

"I'm used to it because that was the only way I could get you to listen. I should have realized that you changed since you've been home." Kate wrapped her arms around her daughter's body tighter. "I'm so sorry that I made you cry. I feel horrible," she sincerely spoke, getting a nod against her chest. "You're not a fuck up, got it?"

"Yeah," Rory uncertainly answered, making her mom pull her away from her and cup her chin toward her. "I understand."

"Did you eat?" Kate questioned as she followed Rory over to the couch.

"No. I'm not hungry."

"Well, that's just too bad isn't it." She noticed that Rory's eyes were on her, so she walked into the kitchen and over to the stove. "I guess I'll eat this mac and cheese on my own."

Within seconds, Rory was beside her, peering into the pan to see her mom's homemade mac and cheese. She sniffled as she tilted her head toward her mom with a smile.

"Smiles are better," Kate hummed as she kissed her daughter's forward before she could get away.

...

_"No one knows what it's like to be the bad man,_

_To be the sad man behind blue eyes.  
><em>

_No one knows what it's like,_

_To be hated, to be fated, to telling only lies."_

_The Who - Behind Blue Eyes  
><em>


	22. Chapter 22

A few days passed and Kate was constantly at the precinct, stuck on an unsolvable case. Usually a day trying to figure one out would lead to some sort of breakthrough, but they had absolutely nothing.

She didn't realize it was almost midnight until she caught a glimpse of her watch. Looked like she would be taking the case files home for the night, definitely since she hadn't checked on Rory in a few hours.

By the time she got home, she was extremely tired, yet managed to push the heavy front door open, but only for it to be stopped by something. She had to use more force to get it to be completely ajar, which was frustrating. The moment she noticed Rory's sneakers in front of it, she sighed and used her foot to push them against the wall.

The house was surprisingly quiet, which made her walk softly, since she thought Rory might be asleep. Before she went to see if her assumption was correct, she slid her heels off and dropped the case files on the kitchen table.

As she drew closer to Rory's bedroom, she noticed a funky smell in the air. It wasn't the smell of incense or anything like a candle and it certainly was not drugs, so what was it?

She gradually twisted the door handle and lightly pushed the door open. Since the light was on, it was easy to spot Rory, definitely since she was lying on the floor. The sight of her daughter like that made her brow quirk up before she stepped into the room. She slowly squatted down beside her to try and grab her attention.

"Rory?" she uneasily questioned. When she didn't get a reply, she gently lifted Rory's wrist and let go. After it hit the floor, she became tremendously confused because it didn't disturb her at all. "Hey, kid, wake up," she tried again while she shook Rory's shoulder.

It wasn't until she shook her a few times did she catch a whiff of the smell. Rory was the source. This time, she decided to roll Rory onto her back and when she did the scent was way stronger.

"Did you puke?" Kate whispered to herself as she delicately pressed the tips of her fingers across Rory's shirt. After, she held them to her nose. "You're drunk. You've got to be kidding me."

She decided to roll Rory back onto her side, just in case she were to start throwing up in her sleep. Once she was positive that Rory wouldn't tip over, she headed toward her bedroom. The Breathalyzer was still on her dresser, so she picked it up and carried it into the bathroom with her. Quickly, she wet a washcloth with cool water and filled the cup on the sink with some. After she had everything, she sped back into Rory's bedroom to sit next to her.

"Now I need to wake you…" she mumbled as she dipped her fingers into the cup. She flicked some water onto Rory's face, but didn't have any luck. Being pissed and pretty frightened was what made her actually dump the water onto her daughter.

"Not s'cool," Rory eventually slurred as she rubbed her face with the back of her hand.

"Blow," Kate harshly demanded as she held the Breathalyzer against Rory's lips. She was shocked when Rory actually listened. "Thank you." As she pulled it away, she noticed that her daughter's eyes were shut. "I don't think so, kid," she said as she patted her cheek open them again.

"Wet," Rory stated as her hand blindly went across her shirt.

"You are," Kate angrily replied as she waited for the blood alcohol content to appear on the small screen. Immediately after it did, she became infuriated, but worried at the same time. "0.26. Where the hell did you get the alcohol?"

Kate glared into Rory's eyes until they gradually closed, which made her pat her cheek again. This time, they didn't open, so she vigorously brought her fingers throughout her hair.

She couldn't just leave Rory in her room alone to sleep, but then again the smell she came across in the hallway…

Instantly, she was back on her feet and stepping in the hall. She walked toward the entrance and flipped the switch, so she could see clearly. Looked like Rory already threw up, given the spot on the carpet that was in front of the bathroom. Before she cleaned up the mess, she had a better idea to get Rory situated in bed first.

She stepped back into Rory's room and walked over to the dresser. She opened the drawers until she found the larger t-shirts and pulled one out. Next, she located shorts that Rory normally wore to bed and grabbed a pair before she placed herself on the floor again.

Thankfully, Rory only had a tank top on, so it was easier to navigate through her arms and head. She threw the top toward the closet before she assisted with getting Rory into the t-shirt. It took a lot longer than she intended because Rory's body was limp, but she managed. Once she slid the shorts on to her daughter, she scooped her into her arms and set her on the bed.

"Since I work in the morning, I won't be here to yell at you. And I highly doubt you will remember anything, which will make it easier to get you to the precinct. So…"

Kate walked over to the computer desk and grabbed one of the pens out of the drawer. She wrote _head over to the precinct when you wake up_ on a post-it and brought it back over to the bed. She was going to stick it on Rory's hand, but she had a feeling it would fall off in her sleep, so she smoothed back her daughter's hair and stuck it on her forehead.

Before she went over the case files for the millionth time, she made sure Rory was lying on her side with a few pillows behind her, just in case she puked in her sleep.

After cleaning up the mess in the hall, she plopped down on the chair in the kitchen and reached for the files. She opened to the pictures and spread them across the table. Next, she deliberately scanned them, hoping to notice something that she missed. Since she didn't, she took the toxicology report out and began to read it over.

An hour and a half swiftly passed by until Kate decided it was best to go to bed, so she could get at least seven hours of sleep. She would just send Castle a text to tell the boys that she would be a little late.

As she was heading toward her bedroom to sleep, she figured it would be a good idea to check on Rory. She pushed open the cracked door to see Rory on her stomach, arm dangling over the edge of the mattress, and mouth slack. And the post-it was still in the spot she put it.

Kate really regretted not coming home sooner. She felt like if she did, Rory probably wouldn't have gone to a party. It was like payback for not spending some sort of time with her.

She let out an exasperated sigh before she closed the door, so there would only be a crack. Seemed like she would be lecturing at the precinct later today. Well, that was if Rory even came to see her.

…..

The loud sound of Set Your Goal's playing was what woke Rory up out of her deep slumber. She turned her head toward where she thought her phone would be, which brought on one of the worst headaches that she ever had, and the music playing didn't help at all.

Once she had her phone in her hand, she was ready to chuck it at her window until she saw who it was. Before the call stopped, she quickly accepted it.

"Let me sleep," she yawned into the receiver.

"Tony told me you went to a party with him last night," Trevor irritably accused on the other end.

"Explains the headache," she replied as she went to brush her hair away from her face. The texture of paper made her confused, so she pulled it away from her forehead.

"You should have told me. He doesn't make sure you're okay to go home like I do."

"I tried to call you several times," she explained as she attempted to read her mom's handwriting since it looked like a big blur.

"No you didn't?"

"Did you check Facebook?" she questioned while she squinted her eyes at the pink post-it. Since there was a long pause, she decided to check the time on her phone. Damn. She slept until two o'clock.

"Oh," Trevor murmured, which brought her attention back onto him.

"So don't be all mad about me not asking you to come because I did." She rolled her eyes as she slid out of her bed. She needed to get Ibuprofen before her head split in two.

"Sorry," he sincerely apologized. "What are you doing later?"

"I have to go to the precinct says my mom's note. But first, I need to get rid of this headache." She pinched the bridge of her nose as she headed into the bathroom. Once she located the medicine she was searching for, she set her phone on speaker and placed it on the sink. "Why do you ask?"

"Thought we could hang or something. Wait, did your mom catch you drunk?"

"Um…" She thought about it for a moment. "I don't think so?"

"You don't think so or you don't remember?" he softly laughed.

She got three pills out before she filled the cup with water and swallowed them. "I don't think she did, but who knows."

"What is the last thing you remember?"

"Fuck if I know."

"You're bad," he tutted.

"Shut up," she frustratingly huffed. "I'm going to let you go. I'll call you when I leave the precinct."

"Good luck with your mom."

"Funny," she mumbled.

"Love you!" he shouted, which made her wince because of her headache.

"Thanks for yelling, asshole. But I love you too. Bye." She ended the call and glanced in the bathroom mirror. Wow. She looked like a truck hit her.

Before she lost the motivation to get dressed and walk to the twelfth, she headed into her room to search for clothes.

Once she finished with putting clean clothes and her makeup on, she began to wander outside. She purposely decided to take the longer way, so her headache would be gone by the time she spoke with her mom.

As she came to a halt in front of the precinct, she tilted her head and stared at it for a moment. She really wanted to know if her mom found her drunk or something, but she couldn't recall a memory. The only thing that came to her was when she took her first few shots with Tony.

She jabbed the toes of her shoes into the sidewalk a few times. When she gained enough courage, she sped into the lobby and toward the elevator. Once inside it, she pressed the correct floor and lazily leaned against one of the walls. It felt like she just closed her eyes when the doors slid open.

The bullpen was surprisingly calm for being on a hard case she heard her mom talking about. Her eyes carefully scanned the area until they fell on her mom in the break room. She tilted her head for a moment until her mom's stare fell on her. If she wasn't mistaken, she just noticed a ton of fury in her body language. Uh oh.

Her mom used two fingers to beckon her forward. She swallowed the large lump that magically appeared in the back of her throat. While she walked toward the break room, she noticed Castle sitting in his normal seat. He shot her a quick smile, which made her give a forced one in return.

Right when she brought her eyes to the front of her, she noticed that she was in the doorway to the break room.

"Got your note," she said as she leaned against the doorframe.

"Sit," Kate demanded as she jabbed her thumb over her shoulder. She finished making her cup of coffee before she followed Rory over to the table. "Do you know why I asked you to meet me here?"

"Nope." Rory shook her head while she observed her mom stirring the coffee.

"How did you feel when you woke up?"

Rory narrowed her eyes at her mom, attempting to figure out what she was getting at. When she knew it was about her being drunk at home, she cursed in her head.

Kate slightly nodded when she didn't get a reply. "Being silent is probably the best way to go." She witnessed her daughter lick her lips in anxiety. "Why exactly did you drink last night?"

Rory shrugged her shoulders while keeping her eyes fixated on her lap.

"Okay. How much did you drink?"

"Not a lot," Rory said, which wasn't exactly a lie because she couldn't even remember. She only knew that she drank raspberry Vodka and Bacardi.

"Do you remember anything from last night?" Kate calmly inquired. She wanted answers before she would let her anger take its toll.

No response.

"How about blowing into the Breathalyzer? Do you remember that?"

Rory's bright blue eyes went wide as possible. There was no way in hell that she would give in to blowing into one of those things. She was way more drunk last night than she thought…

"Your BAC was 0.26," Kate furiously accused as she shook her head. "I came into your room to see you passed out on your floor. You already threw up before that, but that didn't mean I wasn't scared."

Rory sluggishly nodded her head. Everything felt like it was going in slow motion, which made her grip onto the chair. She needed to be able to handle the lecture.

"It took me forever to wake you up. You're lucky that I did or I would have brought you to the hospital because that's a pretty fucking high level for your weight. Do you not have any self control, Mallorie?"

Since Rory had a feeling she wouldn't be able to tell a lie and get away with it, she shook her head.

"What?" Kate questioned with a ton of rage.

"I don't have any self control after the first drink," Rory mumbled her confession toward her lap.

Kate tightened her grip on her coffee mug. It was almost like she went back in time when her dad had his alcohol problem, but instead it was her teen daughter. At least her dad tried to control himself, even though he failed quite a lot. But Rory? It seemed like she didn't want to at all, and that was the scary part.

"This needs to stop, Mallorie," she snarled as she observed how her daughter was biting down on her lip. "Do you understand?"

"I understand," Rory murmured with a slight nod.

"Promise me."

Rory gradually lifted her head as her mouth slightly dropped open. Her mom was kidding, right? She wasn't going to just stop drinking because it made her mom uncomfortable. Just because she was little when her grandpa was heavily into alcohol didn't mean she never overheard her mom talking about it or the yelling matches. It wasn't like she was addicted like him. She just really, really liked the taste and how it made her feel. Well, not the nauseous part.

"I said promise me," Kate repeated herself more harshly.

"Okay."

"That doesn't work for me. You better promise me, Mallorie."

Rory let her head fall back, so she could clearly see the ceiling. When she could feel her mom's vicious glare burning through her, she brought her eyes back onto her.

"I can't," she openly admitted without breaking eye contact.

Kate's eyes widened and her mouth wanted to go agape, but she stopped it before it could. She did hear correctly, right?

"Why can't you?" She frustratingly ran her hand down her face.

"I'm not going to lie and say that I won't because I don't know when I will next. You told me to never lie to you, yet you're almost at your peak of aggravation because I'm being honest," Rory blatantly pointed out her observation.

Words were swarming around in Kate's mind at a tremendous speed, but she couldn't pick out the right ones to say. She without a doubt hated when Rory made her speechless because it sort of gave her the upper hand.

"When will you realize that I'm not Grandpa, Mom?" Rory asked without realizing what she said. After she did, she wanted to run because of how her mom's face went red and her eyes filled with pure fury.

"How do I know that you're not addicted?" Kate wrathfully spat her question.

"B-because if I were, I would be coming home drunk every night."

Oh, her daughter had a point. Then again… "You don't have to get drunk to be an alcoholic."

Rory couldn't help but laugh at her mom's last words. "Seriously? You think I'm an alcoholic? Wow. That is one stupid assumption."

Kate could see how Rory went from somewhat relaxed to incredibly tense and annoyed. Her daughter's body language made it clear that her accusation was more correct than she wanted. Denial was the first thing she came across with her dad and it was happening with Rory too. Great.

"Are you in denial?" she inquired as she held her daughter's pretty blue eyes. The anger that came forth in them answered her question, but she wanted words to be said. "Well?"

"I don't have to listen to this." Rory slid her chair back and got onto her feet. "When you're not accusing me of being an alcoholic, then I'll sit through your stupid lectures."

"Excuse me?"

"I'm not an alcoholic!" Rory shouted with her hands against her temples. "You're only saying that because you're insecure about people drinking! I bet it sucked dealing with one before, but that doesn't mean I am."

"I think you're in denial," Kate gently spoke to keep her daughter from getting any louder at her work place. "Why else would you react this way?"

"Try having someone tell you that they think you're an alcoholic or a druggie or something that you're not. It's frustrating as fuck because you won't drop it!"

"Because I feel like it's true." Kate lifted her hands in surrender. "But since you say you're not, tell me why you drink so much at once."

"First of all it's only been a couple times since I came home from a hospital with absolutely no fun. Partying gives me the sense of freedom that I didn't have in there. I know why you hate it, but I'm not like that. I swear."

"Alcoholics usually don't know that they are one."

"Stop calling me that! I'm already labeled a psychotically depressed and ADHD person!"

"Hey, wait a minute. Your disorders don't define you, Mallorie." Kate slid out of her chair and walked closer to her daughter. "You're sixteen years old. Drinking should be the last thing on your mind."

"It's not the first or the second, but it's there. It's not because I'm an alcoholic. It's because I find it _fun _and I_ enjoy_ it. You find reading fun and you enjoy it."

"That can't even be compared, kid."

"Fine. Whatever. I'm done listening to your bullshit." Rory stomped toward the other door to the break room. Her left bicep was grabbed, making her come to a halt.

"I'm not giving up on this one," Kate admitted with a growl.

Rory yanked her arm out of her mom's grasp. "You have a case to solve, so leave me the fuck alone."

"You know what?" Kate roughly latched onto the back of her daughter's shirt. "You're going to be staying home all weekend since I don't work. Consider yourself grounded."

"I don't care!" Rory furiously shouted as she pulled out of her mom's hold, again. She took a few steps and turned around. "As long as I don't have to be near you right now, I don't care!"

Kate couldn't find the ability to chase after Rory because that stung. All she was doing was trying to show how much she cared, but that obviously wasn't how Rory saw it.

"Are you okay?" Castle questioned, which made her slowly turn her head toward him.

"You heard that?"

"Only the parts where she was yelling." He lightly shrugged his shoulders, noticing how she was fighting to show how upset she really was.

"Everything was so good with her up until now. She did admit that she wasn't going to stop drinking and that scares me so much," she muttered while she bit down on her lip.

"I know," he compassionately replied as he placed a few of his fingers on her wrist.

"She doesn't realize how terrifying it is to come home and not be able to tell if your own daughter will wake up since she's passed out on the floor."

"Is that how you found her last night?"

"Yeah. I did get her to wake up, so she could blow into the Breathalyzer, but it didn't last long." She let out an upset sigh as she ran her hands throughout her hair.

"The numbers were high, huh?" he asked with a frown.

"Yes. If she didn't wake up for that split moment, I was going to call an ambulance because I didn't know if she had alcohol poisoning."

"I know this isn't my place to suggest things…"

"No." She brought her stare onto him to see a tremendous amount of care and love behind his eyes. "I'd like to hear what you think."

"Maybe you should have your dad talk to her about her drinking or do some sort of test."

Immediately, a smile formed across her lips. "Genius."

"I try," he warmly chuckled, which was followed by a large grin.

…..

It was about eight o'clock when Kate left the precinct with Castle. She told her dad and Trevor to meet her in front of the apartment, so they could come up with some sort of plan to get Rory to stop drinking so often.

"She's not going to like this," Trevor said as he kept pacing back and forth.

"No, she won't," Jim agreed, which made the boy beside him stand still. "But she has a problem."

"She does," Kate added in as she put the paper bag under her arm, so she could unlock the door. After she pushed it open, she let everyone walk in before her. "She's in her room," she stated her observation because of the loud music.

"Want me to go get her?" Trevor questioned as he slid his sneakers off and set his skateboard against the wall.

"Yeah," Kate kindly answered. She walked over to the kitchen counter and opened the cupboard that had her two bottles of alcohol. Strangely, Rory never touched either one of them. "Dad, can you go in my room and grab the NY shot glass off my dresser?"

"The one from the Yankees game last year?" Jim inquired to be sure.

"That's the one." Kate nodded as she watched him head toward the hall. She brought her eyes onto Castle. "Do you really think this will work on her?"

"You said you did it to your dad on the way here," Castle cautiously answered, so he wouldn't hit a nerve.

Kate bit down on her bottom lip as she untwisted the cap to the bottle of gin. She was uncertain if she wanted to go through with this, but since she already had everyone here, she would. Besides, she knew Rory wouldn't stop her drinking unless she intervened like the first time.

She vigorously brought her hand through her hair and held it on the top of her head. She couldn't believe that she was going through this again. Her dad was tough, but Rory was way more careless and oblivious to how her actions affected people.

"Got it," Jim announced, which brought her attention onto him. He set the shot glass on the counter, so she filled it halfway with the gin. "Now to wait." He leaned against the counter next to Castle as he watched his daughter heavily sit down in the chair before him.

Trevor stood at the entrance to the hall and observed everyone in the kitchen while he waited for Rory since she went to the bathroom. He believed that Rory had a problem with alcohol, but not as much as her family did. Maybe that was because he always saw past her issues. He just didn't want her to continue because he already lost someone from alcohol, and he couldn't go through it again.

His head turned when he heard the bathroom door open. He gave Rory a bright smile, which made him receive one in return. She had no idea what she was going to be walking into, and he felt horrible for not warning her.

He followed her into the living room and almost collided with her when she came to an abrupt stop.

"What's going on?" Rory questioned in confusion.

"Sit," Kate gently commanded and motioned the hand that wasn't covering the shot glass toward the chair opposite her.

"No," Rory replied as she faltered back a few paces. She tilted her head back to gawk at Trevor who seemed insanely distant. "What's going on?" she whispered to him. He shrugged his shoulders, which made her turn her head back toward the kitchen.

"Sit," Kate tried a second time.

Rory gradually walked into the kitchen and pulled the chair from the table. She roughly plopped down and kept her eyes glued with her mom's.

"We all love you, Rory," Jim began. "We're here to help get you through this."

"Through what?" Rory irritably questioned without breaking eye contact with her mom.

"Your drinking problem," Kate calmly responded. She witnessed the fury suddenly appear behind Rory's blue eyes just like it did in the precinct earlier.

"I don't have a problem," Rory growled through a clenched jaw.

"You don't?" Kate asked, which was followed by a shrug. She picked this moment to slide the shot of gin toward her daughter. She figured Rory would look down at it, but instead their eyes stayed locked together. "Are you sure?"

"After you." Rory pushed the shot toward her mom with a devious smirk. Her eyes traveled around the kitchen until they fell on the bottle of gin that her mom forgot to put away. "You really think this is going to do something?" she questioned as she tilted her head toward the shot.

Nobody said anything, so she slouched in her chair with her arms constricted across her chest.

"Gin is disgusting," she spoke with a smile.

Kate felt her dad's hand on her shoulder, so she nodded her head since she understood it was time. She reached toward her feet and pulled the small bottle of UV Cherry Vodka out of the paper bag. She slid it a little past halfway on the table.

Rory's mouth immediately watered at the sight of one of her favorite flavors of vodka. She had to bite down on her tongue very hard to stop the urge to grab onto it because she knew this was a test. And she was not about to fail it.

"What the fuck are you trying to prove?" she hostilely questioned.

"Do you want to drink right now?" Kate steadily asked while she noticed her daughter squirming in her seat.

Rory could see the care in everyone's facial expressions, but Trevor looked more along the lines of nervous.

"Why did you drag him in this?" she shouted at her mom. "Are you trying to turn him against me?" She could see the tears forming in his eyes, which made her more uncomfortable than before.

"He's here for support like everyone else," Kate answered as she folded her hands on the table.

Rory slid out from her chair so fast that she made it fall over from behind her. "You're the only one that sees through all my faults!" she screamed at Trevor. "And now you're on my mom's side!"

"No." Trevor shook his head as his eyes filled with warm tears.

"So you think I have a problem then?" Rory placed her hands over her eyes since she was crying. "I can't believe you! You're supposed to be on my side!"

"This isn't about sides, Mallorie," Kate hesitantly spoke as she watched her daughter start to pace back and forth.

Rory eventually slammed her hands on the table and leaned toward her mom. "Fuck you. You turned my best friend and boyfriend against me, the only person that I can to be myself around, the only fucking person that doesn't judge and disapprove every single thing I do."

Kate opted out on saying anything until Rory was finished.

"You think I have an alcohol problem?" she fiercely hissed. "Let's just add drinking to the list of my imperfections because that's all you do." She brought her glare onto Castle. "And why the fuck are you here? You know nothing, only the shit she tells you, only her side of the story."

Rory couldn't control how pissed she felt. She wanted to seriously hurt everyone in this room, but she knew it wasn't possible. Instead, her eyes fell onto the bottle of booze, which she really needed at the moment. Without thinking twice about it, she latched onto it, untwisted the cap, and glared at the liquid.

Kate slowly and quietly got out of her seat and stood only a foot from her daughter. "I'm here to help you, Mallorie. You do have a problem and we can get rid of it if you let me help."

Everyone was always against her. Nobody understood how she felt or why she did the things she did. So, Rory brought the bottle to her lips, taking in the sweet smell. She yearned for the burn in the back of her throat and to drown everyone out. Nothing mattered besides the booze that was in her hand. She took a long, desperate sip before she pulled it away from her mouth and held the back of her hand against her lips. Her eyes squeezed shut as she swallowed it. She felt better, but not as much as she wanted, so she brought the bottle back to her lips.

Kate's eyes were still as wide as could get, but since she was no longer paralyzed, she aggressively grabbed onto Rory's arm and yanked it down. She had to seriously pry her daughter's fingers off the bottle. After she got it away, she set it on the table and turned back around.

Rory was fighting the tears that formed without her consent. She didn't have any self-control and everyone in the room just witnessed it. She let her eyes fall on their faces until they stopped at the apartment door. It had been awhile since she ran, and she needed to.

The second Rory began to bolt for the door, Kate sped after her and wrapped her arms around her daughter's shuddering body.

"You can't run from this," she peacefully hummed into her ear.

"I have a problem," Rory blubbered as she began to lose the ability to keep herself upright, but her mom's hold wouldn't let her go down.

"You do and I'm going to help you through it, just like everyone else in this room."

"I don't want help!" Rory fought against her mom, but it wasn't working.

"Deep down you do. I could tell by the look on your face after you realized what you did," Kate calmly whispered as she closed her eyes.

"I don't. I don't," Rory cried out as she continuously shook her head against her mom.

"Relax," Kate softly encouraged as she slowly got onto the floor since it was getting hard to keep Rory held on her feet. She sat with her arms still snaked around Rory's body for a few minutes until she noticed that the crying stopped. "I love you, Rory, and I can't let you do this," she sincerely spoke from the bottom of her heart.

"I can't do it alone," Rory stammered while she wiped her wet eyes.

"And you won't. It will be hard, kid, but none of us will give up on you and you can't either."

"I'm sorry you have to deal with me," Rory uncertainly mumbled, which made her mom's arms tighten around her.

"I'll admit that you do get pretty hard to handle sometimes, but I'm not willing to give up, and I never will. I love and care about you so much, Mallorie. I can't watch you bury yourself in a hole that you can't escape from." Kate lovingly kissed the side of Rory's face. "You can fight me all you want, but I won't give in."

Castle smiled to himself after hearing what Kate said. He knew that she loved seeing him care for Alexis, and he loved the way she mothered Rory. He had no idea how she did it because he honestly didn't think he'd be able to handle it. But that was made her so extraordinary, wasn't it?

...

_"Yeah, I'll admit,_

_I don't want you to help me through this._

_I don't want to start over again."  
><em>

_Paramore - Whoa_


	23. Chapter 23

The morning felt like it came too soon for Kate because she was up all night with Rory, since she was puking. As much as she liked that Rory had gone two days without alcohol, she hated the withdrawal symptoms. So far she came across the vomiting, tremors and irritability. She really hoped that others wouldn't come forth because they were getting hard for her to handle.

She reached her arms above her head and stretched until her back cracked. It was eleven o'clock in the morning on Saturday, the latest she had ever slept in a very, very long time. She shook her head with a yawn as she made her way into the hall. Since Rory's door was open, she hesitantly stepped inside to see her awake.

"Morning," she sleepily greeted with a smile.

"I don't feel good," Rory groaned and curled up more into a ball than she already was.

Kate frowned as she lightly sat down beside Rory's legs. "How don't you feel good?"

"I just fucking don't, okay?" Rory angrily snapped while pulling her pillow over her face.

Kate sharply bit down on her tongue, fighting the urge to yell because she really hated Rory's language. Instead, she yanked the pillow away and tossed it onto the floor. Rory was using her hands to cover her face, but that's not what Kate needed. She placed her hand over Rory's forehead to find that it was extremely hot.

"You're burning up, kid," she calmly stated her observation, afraid if she were to panic that Rory would also.

"A fever?" Rory questioned, clearly confused.

"Tell me how you don't feel good, this time without the attitude."

Rory let out a long sigh. "My head feels heavy, I'm cold then hot then cold again, I feel weak, and nauseous," Rory speedily said, which was followed by a big yawn. "And tired."

"Did you sleep at all?" Kate questioned as she gently moved Rory's hair away from her face.

"Sorta." Rory shrugged while she moved her hands away from her eyes. "I'm so tired."

"I'm going to get the thermometer and Tylenol. After, I want you to try and sleep, okay?"

"Whatever," Rory irritably replied as she rolled onto her side, so she wasn't facing her mom any longer.

Kate bit down on her lip while she studied Rory for a brief moment. If she remembered what she read correctly, her daughter was suffering from one of the severe withdrawal symptoms, a fever. She hoped to God that hallucinations or anything like that wouldn't occur because it would scare her.

She exited the bedroom and walked into the bathroom to see the bottle of Ibuprofen on the floor and pills everywhere. Her eyebrow quirked up because she didn't understand how they would…

Rory.

Kate frustratingly ran her hand down her face before bending down to pick up the mess. She only counted ten out of one hundred pills, even though she just bought this a few days ago. Okay, she was way more worried than ticked off, so she rushed with grabbing the thermometer out of the cabinet and sped back into Rory's bedroom.

"What the hell is this?" she demanded for an answer while holding the bottle of Ibuprofen up.

Rory opened one of her eyes then immediately shut it. "Medicine," she silently responded as she rolled onto her back.

Kate clenched her fist in aggravation and angrily stomped over to the bed. "I just bought these a few days ago."

"Then you should buy more?"

"Cut the crap, Mallorie. Have you been taking a ton at a time?"

Rory roughly latched onto her blanket and pulled it over her head to hide from her mom since she couldn't find the strength to get up. Yeah, she was taking more than four pills each time she needed them, which felt like every hour because of the headaches. They also made her feel somewhat mellow, like being high or something.

All she could hear was awkward silence, so she decided to answer her mom's question.

"I keep getting headaches, so yeah, I've been taking them," she blatantly replied with a shrug, even though her mom couldn't see her under the blanket.

"You've got to be kidding me." Kate heavily sat beside Rory and gently pulled the blanket down, so she could see her. "If you're having constant headaches and this isn't helping you, tell me."

"You were at work."

"No, I was asleep. When did you take them last?" Kate questioned with a raised brow.

"I don't remember." Rory reached under her pillow for her phone to find that it had been an hour since she last took some. "Maybe three?"

Kate's eyes narrowed, trying to figure out if Rory was lying or not. She couldn't really tell because her daughter placed her arm over her eyes, but the tone she used.

"You're lying," she accused while shaking her head. "Truth, now."

"Possibly an hour ago," Rory mumbled in hope her mom didn't hear her clearly.

"How many?"

"What is this, twenty questions?" Rory huffed and rolled onto her stomach as she pulled her other pillow over her head.

"How many, Mallorie?" Kate sternly pressed for the information she needed.

"Seven," Rory murmured into her mattress while she squeezed her eyes shut, preparing herself for the yelling that she thought was going to happen.

"Seven!" Kate yelled. She did not just hear right, she couldn't have. "Did you say seven?" She witnessed Rory gradually nod her head. "Are you kidding me?"

"Please don't yell at me. I feel like shit and I just want to sleep, but I can't," Rory whined in a muffle. The pillow was snatched from her, so she held her hands on the back of her head. "Stop."

"I know you're withdrawing and everything, but Jesus Chris, Mallorie. You did _not_ need to take seven pills," Kate lectured with a lot of care. "Next time you have constant headaches or if they keep coming back, let me know. I will go out and buy something else."

Rory deeply inhaled and spoke with her exhale. "Sorry."

"Now, let's see if you have a fever." Kate waited until Rory turned her head toward her, so she could hand her the thermometer.

Rory placed it near her lips for a second. "Beep, beep, beep. 98.3. Here you go." She held it toward her mom and looked up at her. "Fine," she huffed since she saw the glare she was receiving. She turned the thermometer on and slid it under her tongue.

"I still can't believe you went through that Ibuprofen in only a few days. I know the second and third day is the worst when withdrawing, but that was highly unnecessary," Kate said with a frown.

She ended up noticing how Rory's eyes looked dead, which made her tremendously uneasy. It was as if she regressed. No, that wasn't possible. Her daughter was only tired, she even admitted that. Then again, when she read up on withdrawing from alcohol, she came across a thread that mentioned depression being a symptom.

"Are you okay?" she inquired with a nervous squeak.

Rory looked down at the thermometer, which made her eyes cross. It beeped, so she pulled it out to read the numbers.

"I'm tired," Rory answered with a shrug. "And I feel like crap." She handed her mom the thermometer.

"102.4. I knew you had a high fever. Do you know when it started to happen?"

"At about… six in the morning. When I threw up in the toilet."

"Why didn't you come get me?"

"Because you need sleep too," Rory honestly answered while staring down at her lap.

"Thanks for the thought, but helping you through this is way more important than sleep." Kate used two of her fingers to lift Rory's chin, so she could be looking into her pretty, yet exhausted, blue eyes. "Understand?"

"I understand, but I feel like a burden," Rory uttered as she averted her mom's shocked look.

"You're not a burden at all and you never will be. I love you too much to even consider you a burden." Kate cautiously pulled Rory into her arms. "You will make it through this, I promise," she peacefully hummed into her daughter's ear before kissing the side of her face. "And you're not allowed to give up."

"I'm trying, but it's really hard. I want the… withdrawal symptoms to go away."

"They will in time. You've only been clean for a few days, which are typically the worst ones. Give it another week and you will feel so much better without it."

Rory slightly nodded her head and watched her mom get off her bed. "I'm going to try and sleep."

"I'll be in the shower and then I'll check on you again." Kate smoothed down Rory's hair with a grin. "Get some sleep, kid."

Rory waited until her mom was out of her room to pull a cigarette from under her bed. These were the only things helping her cope without alcohol, definitely since she couldn't exactly smoke weed in her room. Besides, in a couple years she would be able to buy cigarettes on her own, unlike weed.

She let her head fall on her pillow as she let the cigarette loosely rest between her lips. She felt like a truck hit her five times in a row and her head wouldn't stop hurting.

Why did she go along with her mom and decide to get clean again?

…..

That night was when Rory finally woke up again. She didn't want to get out of bed, but she needed to. She needed to get away from her room and do something to get her mind off drinking. So she slid off her mattress, bringing the blankets down with her, and trudged her way to the living room to see her mom reading a book, like always.

"Hey," she yawned while pushing her hair away from her eyes with her hand.

"Hey, sleepy head," Kate warmly teased as she finished the last paragraph of the page. She set her bookmark in and closed the book. "Did you actual sleep that whole time?"

Rory nodded before she plopped down beside her mom. Her head mindlessly rested on her mom's shoulder.

"Are you feeling alright?" Kate questioned full of concern as her arm wrapped around her daughter.

"Truth? Not so much."

"Have you thought about it at all?" Kate pressed for more answers, even though she felt bad for badgering her daughter since she was sick.

Rory looked down at her shorts and played with them. She bit down on her bottom lip while gradually nodding her head.

Within seconds of Rory's response, a frown appeared across Kate's lips. She pulled her daughter closer to her, so she could kiss the top of her head a lot easier.

"Let's distract you." She reached for the remote and turned the TV on with one swift movement. She went to the DVR menu and hit the latest _Temptation Lane_ episode.

"Really? This show? Can't I watch _Adventure Time_ or something?" Rory was annoyed that her mom _always_ chose this show to watch together.

Yeah, it held her attention and was interesting, but she'd rather watch something that would make her laugh. Maybe _Family Guy_, _South Park_, or _Adventure Time_, even though her mom without a doubt hated that she starting watching South Park when she was thirteen, it was still a hilarious show to her.

"But I don't want to watch cartoons. I don't even understand how you still do." Kate shook her head with a stifled laugh. "But since it's you that I need to distract, we can watch one of your favorites. Which one?"

"_Adventure Time_ since you don't approve of the other ones, even though I am sixteen." Rory rolled her eyes as she lifted off her mom to lay her head on the arm of the couch with her legs over her mom's thighs.

Kate went through the DVR list to find that _Adventure Time_ was on it. Looked like Rory was recording things without her consent. Yup, she definitely was because she just saw _American Dad_ as well.

"Are you deleting my stuff to make room for yours?" she asked with a raised brow when she saw that a movie she wanted to watch wasn't there.

Rory looked around the room, trying to come up with lie, so she wouldn't get yelled at or something.

"Nope. I have no idea what you're talkin' about," she eventually explained with a slight shrug.

"You're ridiculous, kid," Kate pleasantly replied as she lightly bopped the back of her daughter's head. "Let me up, so I can get the door and food for you," she softly demanded, since she heard knocking.

"I'm not hungry, though," Rory whined while lifting her legs off her mom, and witnessed her stand up.

"You will be." Kate walked over to the door and unlocked it. When she opened it, she was greeted with a smiling Trevor who was holding a large, plastic bowl in his hands.

"My mom makes the best basil tortellini soup… and any other dish," Trevor speedily spoke since Ms. Beckett made him nervous, what with her being his girlfriend's mom and all.

"You brought a lot," Kate gently laughed as she moved out of the way, so he could walk in. "Just set it on the counter. She's on the couch."

Trevor listened and placed the large bowl of soup on the counter beside the sink before walking into the living room. Rory's eyes were shut and her head was facing the back of the couch.

He slowly took his backpack off his shoulder, setting it against the coffee table. Then, he bent down beside her and cautiously moved her hair behind her ear.

"Hey there, beautiful," he murmured into her ear with a smile. Seconds after he spoke, she was facing him with a look of disbelief. "I brought you some of my mom's homemade soup to help make you feel better. It really works wonders."

"You're here?" Rory questioned with slight confusion.

"Well, yeah. You're not dreaming or anything," he chuckled, which made happiness appear behind her tired eyes. "How's everything?"

Rory latched onto the back of the couch to help lift herself into a sitting position. She patted the spot next to her and when he sat down, she leaned into his side, letting out a sigh of relief.

"I missed you." She snuggled her head into him.

"I missed you too, but you didn't answer my question."

"I feel like shit. Bricks and bricks of shit."

"Bricks and bricks?" He couldn't help but laugh. Whenever she was sick, she always came up with the weirdest things to say, but they were funny and cute.

"Yup. Loads of them just crashing into me, making me feel like I'm dying."

"Oh, jeez. You're not dying. You're doing the right thing." He passionately kissed her cheek, afraid if he were to kiss her lips, he would get sick also.

"Yeah, yeah." She waved her hand at him. "What have you been up to?"

"Actually, what I've been up to is in the bag." He pointed over to his backpack before leaning forward and picking it up. He unzipped it and pulled out two Remo practice drum pads, two drum sticks, and a CD. "These are for you."

Rory flipped the smaller drum pad in her hands. "Wow, thank you."

"You need to practice and since you said you wouldn't be able to bring an actual set into your room, I bought you these."

"You're so sweet," she hummed before she tilted her head to see his face. "Really."

"You're worth it." He gave her a slight smile and shrug.

"What's the CD, though?" she questioned when she picked up the square case.

"Those are the songs me and Derek wrote together, they don't have drum parts, and we thought it would be a good idea to have you listen. Maybe you can come up with some amazing shit like you did the other day," he thoroughly explained. "They are sort of metal, but punk because we both know how you like punk music the best."

"Not like my room has a million posters of punk bands or anything. And my clothes," she pointed out with a sly smirk.

"You're probably the first girl I've met that can pull off the punk look," he admitted while licking the bottom of his lip.

"Really?"

"Well, yeah. Have you seen Brittney in school? She's like… scary," he nervously laughed, hoping she wasn't friends with her or anything because she was friends with a ton of people he didn't exactly know.

"Brittney Thompson? Yeah, she's nice and all, but the way she thinks is just… no."

"Just no?"

She shook her head as a loud laugh escaped. Whenever she was with Trevor she always forgot about what was bothering her. Yeah, she still felt her head was heavy and she didn't want to move, but he made her happy, really fucking happy. He also brought high levels of hope that she'd get through this alive.

"Are you two hungry?" Kate inquired from the side of the couch, making both their heads turn toward her.

"I'll take some, yeah," Trevor answered as he lifted off the cushion to go into the kitchen. He took two of the bowls on the table and returned to Rory with them. He handed her the one with less before sitting down. "You'll like my mom's soup."

"Smells good," Rory stated her observation. She spun the spoon around, so it would be on the left side before lifting some soup to her mouth. The taste that registered was different and absolutely delicious. "Wow."

"Right?" Trevor asked with a large grin. He noticed Ms. Beckett taking a seat diagonal Rory in the chair. "Do you like it?" he curiously questioned.

Kate took two cautious spoonfuls before she answered. "Very good. Does your mom cook a lot?"

"Everyday," Trevor cheerfully replied. "She's the best cook that I've met and it's even better since she lives with me, so I get her good stuff all the time. Definitely the Italian type foods."

"I was going to ask, but I didn't want to seem rude. You are Italian?" Kate noticed how Trevor's face lit up. He was Italian and totally proud of it, which made her smile.

"What gives it away?" he joked while fishing around for a good amount of soup to put on his spoon.

"Your tan skin and dark hair, duh," Rory teased and smiled with her spoon in her mouth.

"That was the giveaway for me and meeting your mom," Kate added in, making Rory's stare fall onto her. She looked happier than ten minutes go, all due to seeing her boyfriend.

"Yeah, Grace looks way more Italian than you do. Then again, Andrew doesn't look it at all, what with being blonde," Rory spoke to Trevor.

"Different dads. Obviously," Trevor responded as he lightly nudged her arm with a grin.

"So what do you like to do for fun?" Kate asked since she hardly knew much about him, just that he was extremely good to her daughter.

Trevor held his bowl in his lap. "Play guitar, write songs, skateboard, video games, hang with friends and my family. That's about it." He shrugged, not seeing himself as interesting or anything like that.

"You play guitar?" Kate found that simple fact interesting. "How long?"

"Since I was like… six? My dad taught me young because I wanted to be just like him." Trevor tried to hide the sadness in his voice and eyes, but it was hard whenever he spoke about his dad. He missed him so much, but he had a feeling Ms. Beckett would understand, definitely since Rory told him what happened to her Grandma when she was little. "I saw a guitar here once. Do you play?" he decided to ask her.

"I do. Not often enough as I would like because this one-" Kate pointed her spoon toward her Rory who was more so playing with her food than eating it. "-makes it hard to have spare time."

"Oh, come on. I do not. You still read and stuff," Rory huffed with her head hung down.

"That's true, but even with that it can be difficult because you tend to be loud," Kate gently teased, hoping Rory would realize that she wasn't trying to put her on the spot in front of her boyfriend. Her parents did that to her and she was not going to do it to her own daughter. "But I got used to it a long time ago."

"Yeah, yeah." Rory waved her right hand toward her mom to get her to shut up. Trevor didn't need to have anymore ammo to use against her, he already had years worth of some.

"Thank you for letting me come over," Trevor sincerely spoke with a grin. "I missed her."

Kate couldn't help but smile at how honest and loving he was with her daughter. In some weird way, she was jealous of their relationship. If only she had the guts to have something with Castle and not mess things up with her and Rory, she would. She would go for it or at least let him know that she was ready after almost four years.

But she was terrified. She was beyond terrified that getting with Castle would make Rory act out again, and not because of her disorders, but for attention because Rory loved to be in the spotlight. She couldn't let that happen and she felt so stuck. Maybe she should just go for it, keep it in the dark for a while until she was sure Rory wouldn't react in a horrible way.

For all she knew, another year would pass and Castle would have moved on. She pulled out her phone, since it was quiet because everyone was eating, and she shot him a text. Hopefully he would agree to coffee in the morning at her house, so Rory wouldn't feel like she wasn't being told something important. That happened once with Demming and it didn't end well. Ended with a nice screaming match, which she would love to avoid, but with Rory's temper, it was hard.

Oh well, she would enjoy this amazing soup Trevor brought and his innocent, yet not, presence. She noticed a drum pad type thing on Rory's lap and she wondered why it was here. She would just ask about it later after he left.

…..

The next morning, Kate woke up a little before ten, so she could get ready for Castle's visit. And she knew that Rory would still be asleep, even though she didn't exactly want to hide their meetup.

She quickly changed into something decent looking, like her jean capris and purple blouse that she remembered him checking her out in once. The simple memory made her cheeks red and she couldn't figure out why. They were only having coffee, not like a date or anything. She shook her head to get that out of her mind. It was too soon for dating, but then again, was it really?

They've known each other for all of these years and she knew he had a thing for her, but she wasn't ready. And she never knew if she would be ready with her mom's case still not laid to rest, and Rory's rebellious behavior.

As much as she loved her daughter, sometimes she wished she was a simple kid, someone that didn't have the disorders she was diagnosed with. Yeah, she learned how to deal with them and handle them in the correct way, but that didn't mean it wasn't hard at times.

Kate looked in her mirror as she put on lip gloss. Wait, why was she putting lip gloss on? The coffee would most likely remove it… Wow, she really had a thing for Castle and the back of her mind was more aware than she was. Weird how that worked.

She walked out of her bedroom and into the kitchen, oblivious to the talking in the living room. She merrily started the coffee pot with a smile plastered on her face because he would be here in less than ten minutes. It wasn't until she spun around did she notice Rory, Trevor, and some other guy in the living room talking.

How the hell did she not hear them? Was her head really in the clouds because Castle was coming over?

Her eyebrow quirked up a bit in bewilderment. Rory was still sick, yet here she was awake in the early morning with friends over. And she didn't even ask if she could have company.

"What's going on?" she decided to question to get rid of her confusion.

"Mom, this is Derek, Trevor's cousin," Rory monotonously spoke while motioning her hand toward Derek. She kept her eyes on the notebook in her lap, writing down one of their newest ideas.

"Nice to meet you." Derek stood up, revealing his tall height and accent. He walked over to Kate and held his hand out. "I've heard lots about you, really."

Kate's head tilted to the side a bit. She was attempting to figure out if this was _the_ Derek that Rory stayed with while away. If it was, she didn't want him in her house, but he seemed so much different than what she assumed.

She shook his hand, feeling his strong hold. "Nice to finally meet you." She shot Rory a look who shrugged her shoulders. "How long have you guys been here?"

Derek plopped down on the couch beside Trevor again. "About an hour?" he answered while looking at the clock on the wall.

"I told them they could come over because you said I couldn't leave. You never said anything about letting friends come over and we have to work some stories out," Rory explained her actions while rereading what she just wrote on the page.

"Should we go?" Trevor asked Ms. Beckett since he felt like he overstepped, even though Rory said they could come.

"No, it's fine," Kate peacefully said with a smile. "I'll be in the kitchen with Castle."

"Cool." Rory stuck her thumb in the air without looking up.

Kate rolled her eyes before she heard knocking on the door. She basically ran over to open it.

"Morning, Castle," she gleefully greeted.

"Brought some donuts," Castle happily spoke while holding a bag up. "Now that I think about it… it's kind of a cliché since you're a cop and all."

Kate let out a playful laugh as she moved out of his way, so he could step inside. She watched him slide his shoes off and head into the kitchen before she closed the door.

"How are you doing?" he questioned, setting the bag on the table and pulling a chair out to sit down.

"Actually, I'm doing pretty good. She's running a fever right now, even though she has friends over." Kate rolled her eyes with a grin. Rory never let being sick hold her down, which was scary because it would last longer because of that. "She never rests like she should when she's sick."

"That's not good," Castle spoke with worry. "But as long as she gets better soon, it's okay?"

"I guess so. How are you?"

"Well. Very well. Alexis and I went out yesterday for another father/daughter date. It was fun."

"What did you guys do?" Kate curiously questioned. She loved hearing his fathering stories.

"Went laser tagging, out to eat, and walked most of Central Park before we got to hot and returned home to watch some movies. You're welcome to come over and have a movie night with us sometime. She'd like that. Rory too." Castle nodded his head toward the living room, which brought his attention to the conversation between the teens.

"Lyrics don't have to rhyme, dumbass," Rory irritably growled at Trevor and Derek. They were really getting on her nerves.

"Even Blink 182 rhymes!" Trevor loudly tried to defend himself.

"Not all their songs. Someone doesn't listen to them as religiously as I do." Rory pointed her pen at him. "And not all poems rhyme either."

"Yes they do?" Derek added in, unsure of himself.

"Oh my god." Rory dropped her head into the back of the couch. "Do you guys not read poems?" They both shook their heads. "So you guys have never read anything by Robert Frost, Edgar Allan Poe, William Shakespeare or E.E. Cummings? What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"I don't read poetry?" Trevor asked with a squeak, clearly nervous because of Rory's outburst.

"Go home and read some of it. It would make writing and putting meaning into these a whole lot easier. Unless you let me write them by myself because you guys suck," Rory bluntly said, which got wide eyes from the both of them. "What?"

"Someone has their panties in a bunch," Derek joked, but lost his smile when he saw the glare he was receiving. "Okay, I'll go home and read some stuff."

"Thank you. I think you'd like Robert Frost, Trev," Rory said with a smile.

"I'll look into him," Trevor agreed with a shrug.

"Rory reads poetry?" Castle questioned, tremendously fascinated. Even his own daughter wasn't into poetry as much as him, but Rory seemed to be.

"I guess she does." Kate was impressed that Rory had other interests besides partying and music. She wished she knew this fact about her daughter earlier.

"Do you think she'd like to go to a poetry reading sometime? There's one coming up next week. I'd like to go, but I have nobody to take with me," Castle nonchalantly brought it up.

He wanted one on one time with Rory, so he could let her know that he wasn't going to hurt her mom. That he would be there for the both of them before he got serious with Kate. He needed her permission, even though that was silly because she was just a teenager, but he did want it. He wanted to be accepted by her.

"I think that would be a great idea, Castle," Kate answered with a bright smile.

...

_"I feel the pressure building up inside my head._

_I feel the distance drowning me in my own sweat,  
><em>

_Cause I need the cold now._

_It's my turn to roll out all the stops.  
><em>

_And I shat that I know where I have to go."  
><em>

_Find My Way - Four Year Strong  
><em>


	24. Chapter 24

_**AN: Sorry for the obnoxious delay. I'm back from Chicago, though!**_

* * *

><p>Castle casually sat down in his usual seat besides Kate's desk. He folded his hands in his lap and observed her, but like always, she turned toward him and studied his facial expression. She could always tell when he wanted to ask something, but didn't have the courage to do so.<p>

"What?" Kate eventually questioned - he was getting really annoying, since she was trying to finish the paperwork at hand.

"I planned to just take Rory to the poetry reading tonight, but that's not until later. Do you think she would mind if I took her out to dinner or something first?" he speedily spoke, making his words sound like gibberish.

"I don't see why she would mind, but she was a little stubborn with accepting the idea for the poetry reading in the first place." Kate could see defeat drown out the excitement in his eyes. "Just let me ask," she attempted to reassure.

She picked her phone up off her desk and navigated to Rory's messages. Weird. Nothing was said in the last three hours. That amount of time wasn't exactly abnormal, but she had been checking in on her for the last week like it was the most important duty in the world, which it was, actually.

After she sent the text, she immediately received a reply. Rory's answer was 'no', but she wasn't going to accept it. Her daughter needed to quit being so obstinate when it came to certain things. So, instead of giving up, she asked why she didn't want to go to dinner.

Kate glanced over at Castle who was sitting up straighter in his seat, fully prepared for the information he was going to recieve. When she looked back toward her phone, there was another new text from Rory.

_Cuz he's your boyfriend not mine._

Rory's reply made Kate freeze because she felt as if Castle read the text and by the way he was looking at her afterward proved her right. He did see it, but he wasn't saying anything to make the situation seem awkward, which was good. Either way, it was still a little tense.

She was ready to text Rory back, but she felt a phone call would make things a whole lot easier, so she hit Rory's speed dial and impatiently waited for her to pick up.

"Yes?" Rory answered in her usual annoyed manner.

"You're going to dinner with him tonight for no longer than an hour," Kate peacefully said, but made it seem more like a demand than persuasion.

"I agreed to the poetry shit, nothing else," Rory replied with a shrug, even though her mom couldn't see.

"I would like it if you did go to dinner with him. It would make things between the two of you better."

"Better?" Rory gave a breathy laugh. "I don't like him, Mom. I'm only doing the poetry thing and that's final."

"You're going to dinner with him or else." Kate was gripping onto her phone a lot harder than before. She wanted Rory to have a decent conversation with Castle, although she had a feeling there would be some rude remarks cast. "Just go."

"Or else what? You'll ground me?"

"I'm thinking about it."

"That's so unfair! I didn't do anything bad. I'm saying no. Say no to drugs, Rory."

"Excuse me?" Kate's brow quickly quirked up at her daughter's reply. "What are you up to?"

"Sitting in Trevor's room, watching a movie, listening to you try to make me go to dinner with Castle when it won't work, and totally rolling a joint. You know," Rory couldn't help but laugh because she could tell her mom was making the famous I'm going to kill you look. "I'm kidding about the last part, obviously."

"I'm not so sure…"

"We're babysitting Andrew together." The sound of the phone being moved around came through to Kate. "Say hi," Rory gently encouraged.

"Hi," Andrew shyly murmured into the phone followed by a slight giggle.

"See?" Rory asked her mom as she ruffled Andrew's blond hair.

"You're still going to dinner with him," Kate said since she knew Rory was trying to use Andrew as a way to divert the conversation.

"If I go to dinner with him, can I go to Warped Tour?" Rory wanted to ask her question all week, but she kept getting nervous since she knew her mom would say no. She always said no to things she wanted to do lately. "Please?"

"I'll think about it and only if you go to dinner with him."

"What kind of dinner?" Rory gave in with a large sigh.

Kate held the receiver end of her phone against her shoulder. "What kind of dinner?" she asked Castle, which made a smile appear across his soft looking lips.

"All teens like pizza, right?" He grinned ear to ear.

"Pizza," Kate softly spoke into the phone, keeping her eyes held with Castle's for longer than normal, but it felt different.

"I hate you," Rory mumbled, making it obvious she rolled her eyes.

"So tonight before the poetry reading, you're going to go out for pizza with him. Got it?"

"Aye, aye, Captain."

Just as Kate was about to say something else, she noticed the call ended. It, without a doubt, aggravated the living hell out of her when Rory would end the call without saying goodbye or anything.

She ignored her annoyance and set her phone back on her desk before turning toward Castle. He looked beyond ecstatic and it was all due to Rory agreeing to go out to dinner with him. She knew he wanted to talk to her and at the poetry place, although they probably wouldn't exactly be able to.

Kate slightly bit down on her bottom lip, attempting to figure out what her daughter and the man she loved would converse about. She was just hoping that Rory wouldn't be her normal, sarcastic self around him. But whom was she kidding?

"So, pizza tonight and the reading. Sounds like it will be fun," Castle enthused with a bright smile while watching her.

"I just want to know if she starts up something with you, okay? I would say that she won't, but she's not the most predictable kid," Kate seriously said, which got her a strict nod in return.

"I'll steer clear of things like that. Promise," he sincerely spoke.

He knew Rory had a short fuse; he witnessed it a few times. Just because she had a little anger and was an outspoken type of teen didn't mean he would give up. He wanted to get to know her away from Kate and let her know that he loved her mom. Although he had a feeling tonight wasn't the time to say, 'Hey, I'm madly in love with your mom and want you to know that I'm not going to hurt her.' That would be a little too straightforward on his part.

...

Rory came to a halt beside Castle's car while she looked over her shoulder at the apartment. She counted the windows until her eyes fell on the right floor. If she wasn't mistaken, her mom was watching her through the living room window. Of course, it would make sense because her mom knew she would want to run, but she couldn't.

Instead, she sharply inhaled and gradually closed her eyes and stood closer to the car. It was a Mercedes, or something nice and she wanted it. Knowing her mom, she would probably get her some piece of crap on wheels for her first car.

She eventually opened the door while biting down on her tongue as she sat down. She was only going out to eat with Castle because her mom gave her no other choice. If she did what she wanted, she would not be in this car that smelled like palm trees. Hell to the no.

"Evening," Castle happily greeted, but she could tell he was nervous by the way his voice wavered. "Hungry?"

She pursed her lips and looked up at the apartment before turning her head toward him. This was the most uncomfortable situation she had ever encountered.

"Sure," she finally answered with a heavy shrug. She leaned into the back of the seat and opted out on putting her seatbelt on because she wanted to see how he would react.

"Uh, do you mind?" he stammered and extended his seatbelt to show what he was talking about.

"Fine," she huffed and roughly pulled it across herself and clipped it. "Where are we getting pizza?"

"Lombardi's sound good?"

"I suppose."

"Or do you want to get some at another place?"

She could tell that he was grasping at straws, which was highly amusing to her. It also made an immoral smile creep across her lips.

"I'm not even hungry. I only agreed to do this because I had no other choice. If you don't mind, I'd like to get this over with ASAP," she snapped without realizing it and could have cared less. Except… the fright in his body language made it hard. "Maybe I will be after?"

"After sounds good," he responded, making himself not sound as sad and scared as his composure gave off.

Rory rolled her eyes and let her head rest against the seat. She watched out the window as they drove along in awkward silence. Thank God she had her phone or else she would have been putting him on the spot and her mom warned her not to 'or else'.

Why did the 'or else' threat always work on her? It was getting ridiculously aggravating because it still had some sort of effect on her.

"So…" Castle began, but quickly lost track of what he was going to say. How a sixteen year old made him more anxious than anyone he had ever met was beyond his extensive knowledge. "Um… What do you like to do for fun?"

"Everything my mom tells you and then some."

"Oh…"

Rory had to fight back the laughter that wanted to escape the back of her throat. She witnessed his grip tighten around the steering wheel and the beads of sweat running down his forehead. If only he would stop making her feel horrible for treating him like she treated all of her mom's 'friends'. In order to stop herself from laughing, she pulled her phone out of her pocket and navigated to Twitter.

Castle nervously glanced over at Rory to see her messing around on her phone. He bit down on his tongue, attempting to find some sort of topic he could use and hold a long conversation with. After a few seconds he was ready to give up, until he recalled upon hearing her talking about her writing, or something along those lines, the other day.

"Do you write?" he inquired with much less anxiety than before.

"Yep. I do," she distantly answered while she typed something in on her phone. "Not books, though."

"What kinds of things do you write?"

"Mainly poems, but lately it's all lyrics." She set her phone in her lap and leaned forward, so she could sit up straighter.

He was glad that he found a topic that she seemed tremendously intrigued with. Hopefully he would be able to keep the conversation going and not hit any rough patches like he seemed to constantly do with her.

"Do you play an instrument?" He couldn't remember if Kate mentioned that Rory played one before. He was pretty sure that she didn't, so maybe this was new information.

"I've been messing with the drums lately and everyone thinks I'm good and they're so fucking fun. Me and my friends might make a band and stuff if we can write songs. They basically left me in charge of the lyrics," Rory enthused with a smile, completely dismissing her anger toward Castle.

He was interested in what she had to say, which was a characteristic she liked in people. Most people ignored her, rolled their eyes, or switched the topic faster than she normally did.

"Does your mom know you play?"

And of course he brought her mom into the conversation. He was so madly in love with her, yet he never made a move yet. Oh man. What if this little one on one thing was because he planned to?

A large knot formed in the back of her throat and she couldn't gather enough saliva to force it down. As much as she loved her mom and wanted her to be happy, she wasn't ready. She probably would never be ready because she still couldn't accept that Castle brought her mom back into her grandma's murder case.

"No, and I'd rather keep it that way," she deeply growled before putting her stare back onto the road.

"Your secret's safe with me," he assured with a happy smile. "What kind of music do you play?"

"Punk, metal, whatever." She rested the side of her head against the cool glass, closing her eyes to try and fight the fury that was slowly leaking into her bloodstream.

Castle opened his mouth to reply until he realized that they were in front of the Bowery Poetry Club and Cafe. He had a feeling Rory would prefer this club over all the others he had been to because it had all forms of poetry and he wasn't sure which she preferred – something he was yearning to find out.

"We're here," he announced, which made her full attention fall onto him. If he wasn't mistaken, she looked far tenser than before, which put him on edge.

She opened the door and stepped into the street without another word. She roughly slammed the door closed before trudging to the sidewalk, her arms constricted across her chest the whole time.

"I promise that you'll like this," he spoke with a smile as he led the way to the entrance to the club. "If not, you can shoot me." He received a slight smile, which made his nerves ease down.

…..

They were drawing closer to the second hour in the club when Castle noticed Rory's head propped up in her hand. She seemed to be paying attention to the person on stage, but since he was having trouble making out the words, he figured she must be too. He knew she had difficulties concentrating on certain things, one because Kate told him and two because he researched her attention disorder.

"Are you bored?" he questioned while leaning across the table, so he wouldn't disturb the reader.

"Just thirsty," Rory answered as she got out of her seat. "I'll be right back."

He watched the girl make her way over to the bar to order a drink. He noticed how she went from bored to having her mind set on something within seconds. His eyes fell back onto the stage until he realized that she was at the _bar_, a place that held alcohol and she had only been clean for a little over a week. Shoot, shoot, shoot.

As fast as he could, without disturbing the other guests, he made his way over to the bar. Several feet away, he could hear the smooth talk she was giving the bartender. She was way sneakier than he gave her credit for. He just had to make sure to let Kate know about this.

"Come on," Rory whined at the bartender, giving him her classic, mysterious smile that worked on any guy she came across. "Just a little sip."

"I can't serve to people under 21," the guy stuttered as his hungry eyes fell on the young girl's body. He saw a man making his way over and figured it was her dad, which made him even more nervous. "I'm sorry."

"I just want a Robert Frosty." She set her elbows on the bar and leaned forward with a pouty lip. "Please?"

"I can't," the man murmured as he quickly licked his dry lips.

"Just a sip," she deeply said with an immoral glimmer in her blue eyes.

The man held a shot glass under the counter and filled it less than halfway with the Robert Frosty mix, which consisted of vodka, Clamato juice, Tabasco, and Worcestershire sauce. He cautiously slid it on the counter toward the girl that he knew wouldn't give up, so he gave in.

"I don't think so," Castle fiercely said as his hand went over the shot glass just as Rory began to pick it up. The intense glare he was receiving almost made him let her take it, but he was the one in charge, not a sixteen year old. "Let's go back and enjoy the show." He slid the glass back toward the bartender who looked like he saw a million ghosts by how pale he became in a matter of seconds.

"Fuck this," Rory mumbled and headed toward the door instead of their seats. She really liked poetry, but she was sick of being near Castle. "I'm walking home," she shouted over her shoulder as she stepped outside.

Castle's chin was almost touching his chest at her outburst. Things were going so great between the two of them. They laughed about silly old stories he had to share and they complimented the good poets and immaturely made fun of the bad ones, which he regretted as he thought about it.

He ended up racing out of the club to find Rory a little ways down the street. She wasn't lying when she said she was walking home. Oh god. If she walked through the apartment door without him, Kate would probably scream at him about it. He promised that he would keep a close eye on Rory because Kate mentioned that she overheard her talking on the phone about partying when she could get away.

"Hey," he said while attempting to catch his breath since he had to run to catch up with Rory.

"Go the fuck away," she angrily spat while she lit the cigarette in her mouth. She took a deep inhale as she pulled it away from her lips, a little bit of smoke trailing away.

"If you're going home, at least let me drive you," he calmly stated, which made her stop her fast pace. "Come on."

"No. You're going to bring me home, walk through the door after me, watch me go to my room, and tell my mom what just happened in there." She jabbed her freehand at the club before exhaling the smoke. "I can't let that happen."

"Yes, I will be telling your mom about that, but not to get you in trouble," he tried to reason with her because he really didn't want Kate mad at him and he didn't want to be hated either.

"Not to get me in trouble? You must not know how things work between me and my mom." Rory let out a deceitful laugh before narrowing her eyes. It was dark out, but she could still sense the fear that was radiating off him. "I get yelled at when I do things she doesn't like. That… in there is one of those things."

Castle studied the frustrated teen in front of him, trying to think of an idea that wouldn't make him get more disliked by her and so he wouldn't tell a lie to Kate, which was impossible either way he looked at it.

"How about I just bring you home?" he asked with his hands held toward her, illustrating that he intended no harm. "I don't have to bring up the incident until tomorrow."

"My mom will know you're hiding something from her. You're a dead giveaway with your emotions and your thought process," she irritably accused while she rolled her eyes. "Just give up, Castle. I don't want to be near you right now because you busted me with something that could get me grounded for a year. And I just don't wanna be near you."

"Rory…"

"I'm sorry, but I can't handle this." She slowly receded a few steps from him before speeding around the corner. A large hand appeared on her shoulder, which made her stop and tightly squeeze her eyes shut. "Get your hand off me, now," she demanded.

"I promised to keep an eye on you and I'm going to do just that. You can hate me all you want for stopping you in there, but you're the daughter of…" His eyes widened since he almost admitted his true feelings to Rory.

"The daughter of what?" she curiously inquired as she roughly pulled out from his grasp.

"Nothing," he answered in a squeak, which made her close the small gap between them.

"Just say that you are madly in love with my mom and that you'd do absolutely anything you could to make her happy," she uncannily murmured.

"W-what?"

Rory gradually tilted her head, so she'd be looking directly into his terrified eyes. A smirk tugged at the corners of her lips because she was reading the emotions he wished to never make public.

"You love my mom, Castle. It's so fucking obvious. You're little thing with asking me out, just the two of us, is your way of letting me know that you're ready to make a certain leap with her."

"I didn't sa-"

"Oh, but it's written all over your face. And I see the way you look at her, the same way Trev looks at me and I look at him." She watched him struggle to swallow, which made her grin ear to ear. "You want my permission. That's what this is."

"I just wanted to get to know you, without your mom around."

"That's what they all say." She stepped away from him and annoyingly rolled her eyes as she took another drag from her cigarette.

"But it's the truth," he attempted to assure, even though that wasn't exactly true.

"Bull shit. You want my permission, even though I'm just a kid. And guess what?" She held his eyes with her glacial blue ones. "I don't care anymore," she slowly pronounced while shaking her head.

Castle watched as she dashed away from him, leaving him stunned and tremendously confused. He couldn't find the ability to chase after her because he was trying to wrap his mind around what she said.

Did she just admit that it was okay to date her mom?

He ran his hands over his face that had a bright smile plastered to it, even though he wasn't completely certain what Rory meant.

His eyes fell back to where she was standing to find her no longer there.

Crap! He didn't follow her!

Without thinking twice about it, he took his phone out of his pocket and hit Kate's speed dial. She wasn't going to like what he had to say, but what else was he supposed to do? Return to the apartment without Rory?

He listened to the dial tone for a few seconds until the other line was answered.

"Beckett."

"Don't shoot me."

"You lost her, didn't you?"

He could tell that she was pinching the bridge of her nose and fighting the urge to yell, which made him start to panic.

"I'm sorry! She said some things that made me a little… shocked. She ran away faster than I thought possible."

"She's a runner, Castle. I told you this," Kate spoke through gritted teeth. "Where are you?"

"On the corner by the Bowery Poetry Club," he uneasily answered since he was scared to have her furious presence beside him.

"I'll be there shortly. I have a feeling where she might be, but I'm going to find out either way."

The call ended before he could reply. He just made the woman he loved absolutely, without a doubt, pissed, and he was terrified to be near her. Then again, it wasn't his fault Rory ran… was it?

…..

Kate and Castle checked with Trevor, Hayley and all of Rory's other friends to try and find her, but they had no luck. During the whole car ride, hardly anything was said because Kate had a feeling Rory was somewhere, getting into loads of trouble, and Castle let her run off.

They were passing Central Park until Kate slammed on the breaks because she had a feeling Rory might be in there somewhere. She noticed that Castle was holding himself up with the dashboard, so she glanced over at him and let out a sigh.

"I'm sorry," she said with a slight laugh. "I seem to do that a lot."

"A warning would be nice," he teased with a playful grin. "But I manage like I always do."

She shot him a bright smile before parking the car and getting out. She could see that he was stepping into the street, until she leaned down to grab his attention.

"Stay here," she gently commanded, which got her a small nod. He understood and that was a good thing trait about him, he was always understanding.

She blindly walked around the park, noticing young kids with their friends, but neither of them was her daughter. She was starting to get worried until she turned down the usual path that led to a medium sized playground where Rory would run to all the time when she was little. Upon seeing a small figure on a swing, she came to an abrupt halt. From the distance she was at, she could tell it was Rory, or at least she hoped.

As Kate drew more near to the swings, it was easier to see how Rory was sitting. She had her arms wrapped around the chains by her elbows and her head was against the left chain. Her legs were also crossed, but more so near her feet. And every so often her hand would go to her mouth, which would eventually exhale smoke.

Kate took in a deep breath before she got in front of her daughter and squatted down to see her face since it was pointed toward her lap. She took the cigarette out of her hand and tossed it to the side without getting a frustrated objection of any sort. After, she let her eyes fall on Rory's face.

"How'd you find me?" Rory whispered since she didn't want to show any sort of emotion in the way she spoke.

"You used to come here all the time when you were little," Kate gently replied as she noticed her daughter's distress by her body language.

"Okay," Rory mumbled while she moved the swing with her feet.

"Why'd you run off?"

Rory heavily shrugged. "I don't know."

"Have you been here the whole time?" Kate asked so she could dismiss the possibility of her daughter being drunk or high. Although, it was obvious she wasn't either.

"Yeah," Rory silently answered as she lifted her head toward the sky to view the very few stars in it.

Kate got onto her feet and sat down in the swing beside Rory's with most of her body facing toward her right.

"Did everything go okay?" she decided to question, even though Castle told some of what happened, but she knew something affected Rory differently.

"I almost drank," Rory nonchalantly confessed without taking her eyes away from the sky.

"Drank what?" Kate bit down on her bottom lip, half wanting to know the answer and the other half wanting it to stay in the dark.

"It's called a Robert Frosty."

"You have to clue me in on this one, kid."

"It has vodka in it." Rory pursed her lips together as she closed her eyes, ready for the yelling she knew she was going to receive.

"At the club…?"

"Yeah, at the club."

"Did you?" Kate's grip on the chain tightened in anger, making her knuckles turn white.

"No. He took it away before I could drink it."

Kate let out the breath of relief before she reached over and grabbed Rory's seat to pull it closer to her.

"Look at me," she softly demanded until Rory's stare fell on her. "He told me about how you worked your 'charm' on the bartender. I thought you were done with alcohol, Mallorie."

"I did too, but I saw that drink and it sounded really, really good," Rory openly admitted, which made her feel weird because she wasn't one to show her cards, even to her own mom.

"I told you it was going to be tough, but you can't drink. I don't want to lose you to it, okay?" Kate sincerely murmured, which got her a slight nod in response. "What else happened?"

"I don't remember." Rory picked at the bottom of her shirt as she looked toward her lap, averting her mom's stare.

"Nice try." Kate shook her head and used two of her fingers to lift Rory's chin and carefully turn it toward her. "What did you say?"

"I said that I don't care anymore," Rory answered while keeping her eyes away from her mom's. "That's all."

"There's more. I know there's more. You wouldn't have ran if there wasn't," Kate pressed for more information.

Rory let her pretty eyes hold her mom's green ones. "He loves you."

Kate's mouth went agape because she was not prepared for that.

"I told him how I can see it, from the both of you. It makes everything so… hard to understand. I'm sorry." Rory let her head hang since she was disappointed for sharing how she felt. "I just don't care."

Kate put her arm around Rory's shoulders and pulled her closer. "You care. You don't fool me, kid."

Rory roughly moved away from her mom and began to swing higher than she was before she stopped for a cigarette. She caught a glimpse of her mom doing the same thing, which made her let out a loud, manic laugh.

"You think I can't keep up with you, but I can," Kate said about the laughter they were sharing together.

They continued to swing in silence, except when they'd laugh. Rory felt a lot better after she talked to her mom, even though she was still pretty iffy about knowing Castle's intentions. As long as they kept it out of her eyesight, she might be okay with it. But who knew? Certain things always set her off, things she always forgot about.

...

_"Try to be open minded,  
><em>

_You've got a lot to learn in the ways of me._

_You always got to say something._

_I'm none of your concern, but you won't listen at all."_

_A Day to Remember - Better Off This Way  
><em>


	25. Chapter 25

Only a couple days passed since Rory's outing with Castle and Kate was confused as to what exactly made Rory run off on her own. Her stubborn daughter wasn't giving her any details, nor was Castle, and she was ready to pull her hair out. Except… he did end up asking her out on a date yesterday for tonight, his nerves apparent in every word he spoke and the way he moved around. At first she thought he was joking, but then she noticed the beads of sweat moving down his forehead and behind his ears. He was serious. Before she could get her mind completely wrapped around his question, she answered without a pause.

She said yes.

As she pondered in her bedroom, she felt like it wasn't such a good idea to go on a date with him. Yes, she really wanted to, but she didn't know how to tell Rory. Maybe she wouldn't mention anything to her and wait until she was absolutely positive her and Castle would work out.

That thought made her eyes easily roll. She knew they were meant for each other, but she was never ready to _date_ him. She wanted things better between her and Rory, which they were gradually getting there, and for her mother's murder to be laid to rest.

But she knew that taking a risk could lead to being hurt, and she was ready for it, although she had a hunch that Castle wouldn't break her heart. No. She would most likely snap his into two, even without meaning it.

She brushed her hair away from her face with her hand and held it on the back of her head. She was overthinking and they weren't even at the restaurant yet. Her eyes fell onto her bedroom door because she forgot to ask Rory what her plans for tonight were, so she wouldn't be constantly checking her phone for some sort of message that would make her leave dinner early.

As she stepped into the hall, a huge wave of incense tickled her nose, allowing a sneeze to escape. She rubbed her nose with the back of her hand before opening Rory's bedroom door.

Rory was lying on her back with an opened notebook held above her head. Her room was foggy from two different kinds of smoke, one she didn't want her mom to know about, and the other from the incense burning. That was why she lit five of them, instead of the usual one.

She knew her door was open and her mom was looking at her all confused and whatnot, so she kept reading over the lyrics she jotted down while with Derek earlier, trying not to look at her mom or else she'd be caught.

"Are all these necessary?" Kate curiously inquired while she gestured toward the incense on the computer desk and dresser.

"Yeah," Rory mindlessly answered. If she were to think about her reply for more than a few seconds, she'd get smothered in questions.

Kate annoyingly rolled her eyes as she stepped further into the room. She took a few of the incense and put them out. After she was done, she placed them on the computer desk and plopped down beside Rory.

"Do you have plans tonight?" she nonchalantly asked.

"Nope." Rory flipped the page and furrowed her brows because she couldn't read her own handwriting. "Do you?"

"I'm going out to dinner, so yes," Kate answered, trying not to smile like the way she was after Castle asked her out.

Rory sharply narrowed her eyes at her notebook, even though she wasn't exactly reading it anymore. She was more so attempting to figure out the emotion that was radiating off her mom. It was obviously happiness and something else, but she was a little stoned, more like extremely, so she couldn't come to an exact conclusion.

Instead, she sluggishly sat up and kept her eyes toward her notebook. Although she put in eye drops, so her eyes wouldn't be bloodshot, her pupils were probably still dilated.

"Who are you going to dinner with?" she pressed for information because she needed more, lots more.

"Just a friend," Kate responded with a bright smile until she realized Rory didn't look at her yet, which was weird.

"Does this friend have a name?" Rory purposely acted like her mom with the higher up voice that was always used with her. "I can't allow you to be goin' out with random people." She had to bite down on her tongue hard because she wanted to laugh, and if she started, she probably wouldn't be able to stop. Then her secret would be out.

Kate confusingly glared down at Rory. She yanked the notebook out of her hands and closed it before placing it on the other side of her. She knew something was up with the way she was acting, but then again Rory had been quiet for the last couple of days.

She gently cupped her daughter's chin and easily turned it toward her. She watched Rory's pretty blue eyes fall on her lips as they squinted.

"What?" Kate simply questioned with her head tilted a little.

"You're wearing my lip gloss," Rory stated more than she accused. It wasn't until she witnessed her mom take in a silent, deep breath did she figure it out.

She was going on a date.

"I figured if you use my mascara and eyeliner, I can borrow your lip gloss," Kate softly said since she noticed how tense Rory's composure was. "Are you alright?"

Rory quickly glanced into her mom's eyes before pulling away from her and sliding off her bed. She grabbed her checkered backpack off her computer chair that held all her drum accessories and other things, and slid it onto her shoulder.

"Where are you going?" Kate abruptly stood up and followed Rory into the living room. She wasn't getting an answer, so she lightly grasped onto her daughter's shoulder and spun her around. "You said you didn't have plans."

"I do now." Rory shrugged while keeping her eyes toward her feet.

She wanted her mom to be happy, but she didn't want to know about anything. She wanted to stay in the dark like she did when she was little. It was easier for her, definitely when the guys didn't last too long. The only one she actually liked was Sorenson, but he turned out to be an ass, so she began to hate him.

Her mom's stare was burning right through her, she could feel it making a hole in her mind. Well, maybe that was the weed talking, but either way, it wasn't a fun experience. She quickly turned around and headed over to the apartment door and heavily plopped down to put on her Converse, which she neglected to tie because that would take up more time. Just as she had the door open and placed a foot into the main hall, her backpack was grabbed and she pulled back inside.

"Tell me where you're going or you're not going anywhere," Kate sternly demanded as she closed the apartment door. She watched Rory's shoulders slump down, which made her feel bad, but she didn't know for what. "Now, Rory."

"I don't know? I was just going to walk around because I'm bored and you won't be here, so there's no point in me being in an empty house," Rory mumbled her reply, which was followed by a heavy shrug. "I don't like being home alone anymore. It's too quiet."

Kate pressed her lips together with her fingers, attempting to read Rory's behavior, but like always, it was difficult. Eventually she let out a sigh while slowly shaking her head.

"I will be home at ten, no later than that. If you're not here when I get back, you will face my consequences," she casually threatened, making her daughter's furious glare fall on her. "What?"

"My summer vacation curfew is at eleven-thirty. I will be back then." Rory opened the door without turning around and sped into the hall. But once again, she was stopped by her mom. "Will you just let me go?" she irritably snapped.

"Not until you tell me where you're going. I know how you are, Mallorie. You love to look for trouble when you're bored. That's not happening tonight, so unless you tell me where you're going, then you can't leave and that's final."

"Oh my god." Rory vigorously brought her hands through her straightened hair. "I'll go hang out with Trevor."

"He's camping. Nice try." Kate folded her arms across her chest and observed Rory taking her phone out of her pocket. A few seconds later, a grin appeared on her daughter's lips. "Where?"

"I'm going to go hang out with Derek. Is that okay with you?" Rory mocked as she looked up at her mom with a deceitful smile.

"No, it's not. You ran off to his house and if I recall correctly, I was told that you were using and drinking there."

"Fine," Rory huffed and dialed another number. After a few rings the other line was answered with an ecstatic Hayley. "Jesus." She looked up at her mom as Hayley jabbered on about some guy, which made Rory roll her eyes. "Can I come over? My mom is being frustrating and not letting me go anywhere unless I tell her the _exact_ location."

Without a pause, Kate reached over and bopped Rory in the back of the head. She instantly received an aggravated glare.

"Watch it," Kate warned as she held Rory's stare until it was averted.

"I can? Cool. C'ya in a bit." Rory ended the call and slid her phone back into her pocket. "I'm going over to Hayley's. Happy?" she asked her mom as she began to walk forward.

"11:30, Mallorie, and I'm not kidding," Kate shouted as Rory reached the stairs. Her daughter waved her hand like she was dismissing her.

Kate stepped back into the apartment, closing the door in the process. There was something strange in the way Rory was acting. It was as if her head was in the clouds or something. The more she thought about it, the dumber she felt.

Rory was high in her presence, and she did it in her room. Didn't she?

She tightly balled up her fists and angrily marched into Rory's bedroom. She put the rest of the incense out and noticed the lighter on the side table. She grabbed onto it and held it by her nose, trying to see if it smelled of marijuana. Since it didn't, she became tremendously confused.

"What did you do, kid?" she questioned herself aloud while scanning the bedroom.

She had a feeling she wouldn't find anything, so she went back into her room to prepare for her and Castle's date that was in an hour; she'd question Rory later.

While she was figuring out how she wanted her hair, she decided to text Rory to ask if she would want anything for later. Seconds after she sent it, she received a reply. It was only one of the emojis, the koala, which made her eyebrow raise. Just as she was about to respond, she received another text.

_Buy me a koala._

Kate shook her head with a slight laugh. Only Rory would ask for a koala and think she'd get one. Like before, another text came through quicker than she could type her message.

_Buy me… a car or a motorcycle or a drum set or… I forgot._

Instead of staying on topic, Kate told her she would bring her home something to eat, just in case she didn't while she was out with Hayley.

As she was thinking, she didn't recall Rory eating at all today or yesterday, not that it wasn't normal because Rory only ate when told to do so, but it made her a little uneasy for some strange reason. Well, tonight after her date with Castle – she still couldn't believe that they were going on one – she would make sure Rory ate, just not sugary foods.

She smiled at herself in her bedroom mirror. She felt happy, but nervous at the same time. Why she was nervous? She didn't know because she had been close with Castle for quite some time. Maybe it was because this was officially a date, not undercover work or going out for a burger because they were stuck at the precinct all day.

No, this was a real date with Castle. And she was not about to mess it up because of her minute anxiety.

…..

Kate followed Castle over to the table at the _Per Se_ restaurant, sitting down in the chair he pulled out for her. She shot in a nervous smile as he placed himself across from her.

"This is nice," she said in awe over the room.

Castle shot Kate a warm grin before turning toward the waiter beside the table. "We would like an order of your finest white wine."

"Any specifics?"

"Surprise us." Castle watched the young man walk away with a nod. He turned his attention onto Kate who was already looking through the menu. "See anything you like?" he curiously asked while opening his own menu, even though he was pretty sure he knew what he was going to get.

"Is the lamb here any good?" Kate pursed her lips as she read over all the foods that were available. If it were up to her, she would try them all, but that was a little extreme.

"It's delicious. I think you'd like it," Castle replied with a smile as he observed her for the first time since they got out of the car.

Her hair was curly and gracefully draped along her shoulders. She had on a nice, low cut blouse, which made him have to force his eyes to look elsewhere. He didn't want to come off as creepy on their first, actual, date. Instead he looked over her face, noticing the way she was biting her bottom lip every few seconds. It was nice to know that he wasn't the only one that was really nervous. But he was happy and he couldn't help his emotions radiate off him, so she could tell.

Maybe Rory was right. Maybe he did show his emotions and thought processes more than he knew. How could a sixteen year old read him better than anyone he met so far in his life? And how did what she say give him the courage to ask Kate on an official date?

His thoughts were interrupted when he noticed the waiter walking back over with their bottle of wine. He noticed that Kate was watching the man pour it into their glasses.

"What kind is it?" she curiously questioned, picking up her glass and swishing it around.

"_Riesling_," the waiter answered with a shy smile. "One of the favorites for most guests."

"Good choice." Castle shot the man a nod, raising his glass toward him. He locked his eyes with Kate's as he took a sip.

Kate tentatively brought the glass to her lips. The wine smelled really fruity, which made it easier for her to try it. She wasn't usually one to drink too much wine because it usually went directly to her head, but this was really good, and she knew her limit.

"Wow," she whispered once she was done. When she set her glass back on the table, she realized that Castle was looking at her the entire time. It made her heart pick up speed, but then she had a feeling he said something. "Come again?"

"Do you want an appetizer or do you want to go straight to the meal?"

Kate glanced down at her phone, pressing the power button, so the screen would light up and she could read the time. It was already a little past seven-thirty and she had to return home before Rory. She also wanted to spend more time with Castle after dinner, not to do anything sexual, just to hang out and maybe ease Rory into the information about their date.

"How about straight to the meal? I don't want to overeat," she eventually answered as she placed her finger on what she wanted to order, so she could locate it easier. "But if you want an appetizer, we can get one."

"No appetizer," Castle simply said, closing his menu since he knew exactly what he wanted to eat. "Conversation can serve well." He wiggled his eyebrows at Kate and saw her fight the urge to let out one of her famous laughs.

"What would you like, Miss?" the waiter politely questioned, taking his pad out with a pen.

"I'll take the… herb roasted Atlantic halibut," she read off her menu with a smile before closing it and setting it on Castle's.

"Good choice." Castle grinned across at Kate and looked up at the waiter. "I'll take the pekin duck."

"Is that all?" The waiter quickly scribbled down what they ordered.

"That's all," Castle answered before Kate could. He let his eyes fall onto her, and she was on her phone. "Everything okay?"

"Just spying." Kate set her phone back on the table and picked up her glass. She smiled with the rim against her lips before taking some of the wine in. "I'm glad you asked me out to dinner," she admitted and quickly wished she didn't because her face got warm and red at a fast speed.

"I like you, Kate. Quite a lot. I thought it was time that we took a leap," Castle sincerely spoke, noticing how her eyes glimmered in the light from happy tears.

"Yeah," she murmured while looking down at the table. She slowly brought her eyes to be met with his. "No more games."

"None."

"How will we tell everyone at the precinct?" She had been asking herself that question the second she sat down in his car.

"Let's not tell anyone yet. Not until everything is solid."

"Good idea." She brightly smiled while looking him over.

He was the man she wanted to be with, even when she was with all the others after she met him; they were just a detour to what she really wanted. She was scared that something would go wrong, mainly because of her and Rory. She still didn't know how to break the news to her daughter and she was getting scared to the more she thought about it.

She didn't want to lose her chance with Castle because of Rory. That was why she finally made the decision to not clue her in yet, to keep her in the dark for as long as possible. Because the choices she made when Rory was younger always seemed to hurt her too.

"To a wonderful night," Castle said, which pulled her out of her thoughts. He held his glass of wine toward hers.

"To tonight," she joined in and clinked their glasses together before taking another sip.

…..

Rory was bored, really bored. She loved Hayley like she was her own sister, but my god. Was there nothing for them to do that didn't involve partying? She let out a loud sigh, making Hayley's head turn toward her.

"What?" Hayley asked as she turned the volume down on her iPod dock.

"It's weird not partying with you," Rory admitted with a slight shrug. She saw the frown on Hayley's face, which made her feel bad. She didn't want to make her best friend seem like a bore, but she was ready to fling herself out the window. "Sorry…"

"I'm bored too," Hayley softly laughed while she shook her head. "We can do some stuff? What did you have in mind?"

"A line or two?" Rory licked her bottom lip before biting down on it and heavily shrugging. She didn't want to put Hayley on the spot, but it had been awhile.

"Like I totally keep cocaine in my room and want to do it…"

"Ugh, fine." Rory hopped onto her feet since she was sitting on the floor. She nonchalantly sat down in front of Hayley's computer and logged herself into Facebook. "What do you want, my love?"

Hayley cracked a smile as she bent down beside Rory to view the computer screen easier. "I can't be too fucked up. My mom is like a DEA agent now."

"You think your mom is? Try mine. I can't do _anything_ without getting interrogated. And whenever I come home, she makes me blow into the Breathalyzer. I just wanna scream."

"My mom was like that at first, but not with the Breathalyzer. She had me doing drug tests every damn day, I swear." Hayley watched Rory speedily type away a message to Tony. "Seriously?"

"I know you hate him, but he has the best stuff and is always holding. So, what do you want?"

"Can't we do just weed?" Hayley nervously asked while she chewed her inner lip.

"Laced!" Rory nearly shouted, causing her friend to become startled. "Sorry." She quickly asked Tony to meet her in the park. Seconds later, she got her reply that said he was already there. "Score."

They both got ready in record time before heading out into the streets of the city. Since Hayley lived only ten minutes from Central Park, they walked. Well, Rory mainly danced and skipped because she had a lot of energy, which caused her friend to laugh most of the way.

Once they arrived at one of the park entrances, Rory pulled her phone from her pocket to ask Tony where he was. She got his message saying he was chilling at the famous turtle pond.

"Aw, turtles," she childishly spoke as she sped forward, Hayley directly beside her.

That's one thing she loved about her best friend, she could keep up with her more than anyone she knew. That was before Trevor got closer to her, obviously. He was her solid ground whenever she was out of control, as her mom would call it.

They finally reached Tony after about five minutes, who hopped off the bench he was sitting on. He tossed the cigarette he was smoking to his side and ran over to them.

"Let's go under that tree." He pointed toward one of the larger ones that would cover them in the darkness.

All three of them raced over to the tree, Rory being the first to reach it. She turned around to see Tony gasping for air, which made her uncontrollably laugh.

"Someone should chill on the smoking, yeah?" she stammered through her laughter.

Hayley shook her head as she sat on the grass, Rory following suit. They all sat in a triangle as Tony pulled out a small baggy and bowl for them to use. He quickly packed it and eyed around him every so often, afraid he would get busted, but since he didn't see many people, just runners, he became less apprehensive.

They took turns taking hits off the bowl until it was gone. Hayley didn't want anymore, but she watched Rory and Tony share another. Within seconds after they finished, they were laughing at nothing.

"Let's do somethin' crazy," Rory suggested since she didn't feel high. It wasn't until she turned her head to look behind her did she feel it all at once. "Jeez."

"What?" Hayley asked, concerned with the look in her friend's eyes.

"I am so baked," Rory monotonously replied, which made everyone burst out in manic laughter. She used the tree to pull herself onto her feet. "Let's do something before I go home."

"Like what?" Tony asked as he gradually put all of his things into his backpack.

Rory let her own backpack fall from her shoulder before she unzipped the smaller, front pocket. She pulled out two packets of matches.

"Pyro time?" she deviously grinned with an immoral presence in her eyes.

Tony immediately hopped up to stand beside her, swinging his backpack onto one of his shoulders. He nodded in agreement before he looked over at Hayley. They needed her approval, as always.

"Okay. Let's," Hayley finally gave in to the request with a silent sigh. Her friends - mainly Rory and Tony - were constantly looking for trouble.

Rory led the way over to one of the trashcans. She peered inside of it to see if there was enough paper to light. After she was sure there was, she lit a match and threw it into the trash. Momentarily, flames burst out of it, which made the three of them jump back.

Tony obnoxiously howled, his hands cupping his mouth to make it louder. When he stopped, he noticed that his friends were running away, hysterically laughing, so he chased them.

"I didn't think it would explode like that!" Rory breathlessly said when they stopped beside another trashcan. She handed the matches to Hayley who tried to push them away. "Come on, create some mischief with us."

"Okay," Hayley let out a sigh while she rolled her eyes. She latched onto the matches and quickly lit one, throwing it into the trashcan. At least her fire slowly lit unlike the last one.

The three of them all stared at it in awe before Tony picked up a piece of paper off the ground. He lit it and threw it into the air to watch it burn away.

Rory intently watched him, her mouth slightly agape. He gave her the best idea, so she bolted toward one of the trees and let her head fall back to view the full thing.

"Don't even," Hayley sternly spoke from behind her, which sounded a lot like her mom.

Rory ignored her friend and lit another match, letting the flames lick her fingers before throwing it up at the tree. Nothing happened, which bummed her out, so she gave up. Within seconds of her attempt, someone yelled from behind them, so they all spun around to see the source.

It was one of the park cops.

"You kids, stop right there!"

Rory glanced over at Hayley and Tony before she quickly flung her bag onto her back again.

"Run!" she shouted and sprinted off, Tony and Hayley not too far behind.

It didn't take them long to lose the park cop, but they kept running until they were back onto the street, out of breath.

"Priceless," Tony was the first to speak up.

Rory shook her head while she leaned forward, her hands on her knees. She looked up at Hayley who was grinning ear to ear.

"What time is it?" she asked since she knew she had to be home at her curfew or else she would have to face the 'consequences' her mom had in mind.

"11:03," Hayley read the numbers off her phone. "Do you have to get going?"

"Yeah." Rory nodded before she surprise hugged Hayley. "That was fun."

"It was." Hayley tightly hugged her back before she pulled away.

"Bye Tony." Rory saluted him before turning around and heading home with Hayley.

…..

By the time Rory got home it was exactly eleven-thirty. She rushed inside so fast that she didn't even notice Castle's car parked in the front of the apartment. When she entered the elevator, she pressed the right floor and leaned her head against the wall.

She just had the most fun with her friends, like old times, just without alcohol. Too bad Trevor was off camping with his family until later. He told her he'd be home around midnight since the drive was five hours and his stepdad preferred driving at night because of there was less traffic, which made sense to her.

The elevator door slid open, pulling her out of the daze she fell into. Funny, she couldn't even remember what she was thinking about the moment she stepped into the empty hallway.

She walked over to the door and pulled her key out of the side pocket of her backpack. Of course, she struggled with getting it in the door handle because her eyes wouldn't focus. She cursed under her breath repetitively because she felt like her mom was going to open the door and catch her in one of her stoned moments. That thought made her laugh extremely hard because it happened so often with her, which made her drop the key.

"Seriously?" she groaned and bent over to pick it up. This time when she attempted to unlock the door, it worked.

The house was surprisingly quiet. She was okay with it because it usually meant her mom was fast asleep, getting in her hours before work. Too bad, though. She wanted to badger her about her date and ask who it was, even though she figured it had to be with Castle.

Who else, right?

She didn't bother pulling her shoes off because she didn't want to sit down in fear she wouldn't be able to get up. She forgot to ask what Tony laced the weed with, but she honestly could care less.

Just as she was about to walk past the kitchen to her room, her eyes fell onto the fridge, which brought on a massive case of the munchies. She hated when she got them because she always felt incredibly fat afterwards, even though it was hard for her to gain weight.

She ran over to the fridge, pulled it open, and leaned down to see if there was anything good in it. Her eyes fell onto a half eaten cheesecake. It wasn't there this morning, but she didn't question it because it was calling her name.

After she pulled it out and set it on the kitchen table, she set her phone next to it. Trevor must've fallen asleep in the car, which made her imagine him cuddled all cute with a pillow or something. She read over their last message, which didn't make any sense to her, so she navigated to her music and started to play Four Year Strong.

Once she had her favorite song playing, well, it was a cover they did – Absolutely (Story About A Girl) – she moved to the cupboards to pull out a plate. She almost dropped it when she slid it from under the rest. She let out a breath of relief when she didn't and set it on the kitchen table. Next, she pulled the plastic covering from the cheesecake and took a slice, using her fingers, and placing it onto her plate. She licked her fingers as she went to the drawer for a fork, singing along with the lyrics. The second the fork was in her hand, she heard a distant thud.

Immediately after the sound registered, her heart stopped and she dropped her fork, letting it clatter to the floor. She swallowed the large lump in the back of her throat because her mind quickly went to the worst-case scenario; her mom was hurt.

She cautiously walked into the hall, walking very, very slowly. Her breathing picked up pace because she was scared; she didn't know what she was going to be walking into.

When she reached her mom's door, she noticed it was slightly ajar. Her brows furrowed in confusion and her hand mindlessly lifted to be placed onto it. She gradually pushed the door more open to reveal what was behind it, and she wished she hadn't.

...

_"Confusion's all I see.  
><em>

_Frustration surrounds me._

_Solution's bid farewell._

_Sedation? What the hell."_

_Sum 41 - Confusion And Frustration In Modern Times  
><em>


	26. Chapter 26

Everything around Rory seemed like it was spinning in slow motion completely out of her control. Her blood began to boil quicker than any other time in her life and she couldn't handle it. Her eyes began to tear up because of being completely kept out of this secret. She wanted to be kept in the dark, but after being told about what was going on, not getting told nothing.

Castle was still kissing her mom, who was against the wall kissing him back. They've only gone on one date and here they were, practically ripping each other's clothes off.

Rory couldn't stand it anymore. Her mom never clued her in on what was going on and she had every right to know, definitely with the way things were.

She sluggishly faltered away from the door, her hand feeling for the wall to guide her forward. Her head was still in the clouds and she felt sick, but she had to run. No, she needed to run, so she turned around and bolted for the apartment door, grasped the handle and yanked it open. Once she was in the hall, she slammed it shut and sprinted to the stairway.

"What was that?" Kate whispered; her mind not entirely wrapped around Castle's kiss.

"Sounded like a door slammed," Castle murmured close to her ear, not ready to stop.

He waited four years to be able to kiss her like this and he didn't want it to come to an end, but it looked like Kate's attention wasn't on him anymore. Instead, she was pulling her arm up close to her face to read the time. As he gently pushed her hair behind her ear, he noticed how tense and pale she got in a matter of seconds.

"Everything alright?" he questioned full of concern.

Kate's head whipped toward the bedroom door to notice that it was open more than before. She vigorously brought one of her hands throughout her hair and cursed under her breath.

"Castle, I think Rory saw us," she uncertainly stated as she ran her hand down her face.

Castle quickly walked over to the door and peered into the hallway. No new lights were turned on, so he headed into the living room, Kate behind him the whole way. He didn't see any sign of Rory or her stuff, which made him relax and exhale his held breath.

"God dammit," Kate mumbled, making his attention fall on her. She was standing by the kitchen table, so he made his way over to her, feeling like he was walking on glass of sorts. "She was here. She was about to eat a piece of the cheesecake and she left her phone."

"Where do you think she ran off to?" he questioned nervously, not entirely sure if he wanted to go find Rory with Kate. He would never admit it to anyone, but Rory had a way of scaring him and he felt like a wimp because of it. "I mean, we could always ask around?"

Kate held her hands on the back of her neck and let her head hang toward her feet. She closed her eyes and tried to think of a place Rory would go to hide and she knew for a fact her daughter wouldn't go to her regular choices.

She didn't know what to do or who to ask, so she did what she always had to when Rory was younger and without a phone. She picked up her purse, slipped on her flats, and headed out of the apartment to blindly search for her daughter.

"Do you want me to come?" Castle sweetly inquired from behind.

She honestly forgot he was there up until she turned toward him. The memory of his soft lips capturing hers without warning came back and made her smile.

"Of course," she eventually answered with as much calmness she could conjure on the spot. "But if we find out where she is, I want you to either stay in the car or out of her way."

"Why out of her way?" he curiously asked while he attempted to figure it out himself.

"As civil as she is with you now, I wouldn't doubt her to use violence or anything along those lines to get you away. That's why I'm mentally preparing myself for this."

"Preparing for what?" He licked his bottom lip in anxiety, uncertain if he actually wanted to help Kate search for Rory.

"Her yelling, her choice of words and possible violence. I know it's coming, I can feel it and I'm never wrong about that."

"Okay. I'll prepare myself for it too?" he uneasily squeaked and mindlessly followed Kate to the stairway after she locked the apartment door.

"You should. I'll try to keep her attention on me the whole time, but sometimes that doesn't work out so well. She might direct her anger toward you and not me. I don't know though. She's not exactly an easy kid to figure out." Kate sighed as they descended the stairs and reached the lobby.

"Do we have a plan or are we just going to find her, talk about what happened, and bring her home?" he speedily questioned, trying to hide his nerves.

"I try to plan things like this with her, say I'll go wherever she is and drag her out, but it never works that way. She's not predictable."

"Um… do you think... never mind."

Kate sharply spun on her heel and looked up at him, narrowing her stare to figure out what he was trying to say. When she couldn't come to a conclusion, she folded her arms across her chest, pursed her lips and waited for him to continue.

Castle slowly closed his eyes before speaking. "Do you think she's drinking or using after seeing what she saw?"

Kate's arms immediately fell back to her sides. She swallowed the large knot that appeared in the back of her throat because she never even thought about what Castle said.

Could Rory be drinking or getting high right now? The answer was most likely and she highly regretted leading Castle into her bedroom because she did not want her daughter to relapse.

She did not want to start over again.

…..

It had been two hours since Kate and Castle started searching for Rory and they had zero luck on finding her. If it wasn't for Trevor answering his phone so late, Kate might have sent out APBs, even though that would be abuse of her authority, but she didn't care. She needed to make sure her daughter was okay before she worried about anything else.

She gradually turned her head toward Castle to notice that he was struggling with his seat belt. She sucked her lips in and bit down on them, trying to hold in her laughter. It was funny how even in the most stressful situations, he managed to make her crack a smile or laugh.

"What?" Castle childishly whined and gave in with unhooking his seat belt to see if it would help and it did. It made it easier for him to pull across his chest and clip it back in.

"Nothing." Kate shook her head with a small laugh. She brought her gaze to her window and attempted to look up at the apartment building. "Where is he?" she impatiently asked while tapping her thumbs on the steering wheel. "I can't keep waiting."

Castle took this time to glance out of his window to see Trevor running over. He watched the boy practically throw himself into the backseat and slide to the middle.

"Where have you guys tried looking?" Trevor asked as he scrolled through his phone, attempting to find out if any of his and Rory's mutual friends were with her.

"The park, an abandoned building I found her in once, a few of her friends, the train station, basically everywhere," Kate said with such speed she was shocked to see Trevor nodding his head, taking in every single word.

"Okay. If you drive a couple blocks over, I think I know where she might be."

Kate didn't question it like she wanted and put the car in drive. She checked over her shoulder to make sure no other cars were coming and rushed out of the parking spot.

She could feel Castle's eyes staring right through her, which was starting to get annoying, so she took a quick glance at him.

"What, Castle?" she irritably questioned and sped around the corner.

"It's nothing. I'll tell you later," Castle assured with a heavy shrug. He brought his eyes onto the road and listened to the tense silence in the car. It felt like it was only ten seconds until he heard Trevor speak up.

"Right here," Trevor pointed out a medium sized building.

"What's this place?" Kate calmly questioned as she parallel parked between two other cars.

"It's sort of like an area where aspiring bands go to practice. You pay rent for a room. I have one here for my band," Trevor explained as he got out of the car and sped toward the building. He politely opened the door and waited until everyone was inside before closing it. "Do you want me to go in first and tell you how she is and whatnot?"

"That'd probably be a good idea," Kate answered while looking around the building. It was a little rundown, but nothing as bad as she had been in before.

The three of them approached the correct band room and they came to a halt in front of the door. There were sounds of drums playing fast punk music, including double bass pedal.

Kate's eyebrow quirked up as she observed Trevor pulling his key out of his front pocket and inserting it into the doorknob. He looked over his shoulder at her and she understood.

"Stand over here with me, Castle," she gently demanded and guided her partner to stand with her on the left side of the door, so Rory wouldn't be able to see them.

Trevor took in a deep breath and closed his eyes while he opened the door. He cautiously stepped inside like he was walking on lava. As impressed as he was with Rory's drumming that blossomed within a short amount of time, he was worried.

"Hey," he loudly spoke in hope it would stop her from playing and it did. "How long have you been here?" he softly asked with a warm grin.

Rory took her headphones off and let them rest around her neck. "Been playing for…" She yanked her phone out and checked the time. "For 'bout two hours."

Trevor headed over to the drums to realize that Rory had her bong beside her drum stool and a small bottle of UV Blue Vodka. The sight of both things made him harshly swallow and bring his eyes onto her.

Rory looked like she was completely out of it with the lowness of her eyes and her inability to sit still without slightly leaning to the side, almost like she was about to fall off her stool. She was only in her camisole and shorts, and her hair was starting to curl around her face since she had been sweating.

"Maybe you should take a break?" he peacefully stated as he licked his bottom lip from his nerves being on end.

"Piss off," she deeply growled and began to place her headphones back over her ears.

"As much as I like seeing you practice this much, you need to take a break every so often too," he nervously stammered when he received one of the most vicious glares from her. "Okay. Well, um, your mom is looking for you and I told her I would let her know if you were alright or not."

Rory let her headphones rest on her head just not over her ears. "Tell my mom that she can drive her and her little boyfriend off a fucking cliff."

"You don't mean that…" Trevor slowly backed away when Rory tightly gripped her drumsticks. He wanted to calm her down, but he had a feeling that wouldn't happen, so he thought of a lie to get out of the room. "I'm going to run home and grab my guitar. We can play for a little while then you should go home, okay?" He got a shrug in response, so he spun around and practically ran for the door.

"That was her playing?" Kate immediately questioned with a raised brow.

"Yeah." Trevor nodded while averting her stare. "She's drinking and smoking, or was. I wouldn't go in there if I were you. She's really, really mad."

"I'm not afraid of my own daughter," Kate stated as she angrily ran her hand down her face before deciding to walk into the room. The moment she did, she saw Rory stand up behind the red drum set.

"Get the fuck out," Rory fiercely demanded while she placed her hands on the rack toms to steady her balance. "Now!"

"I can't do that, kid."

Within seconds of Kate speaking, a drumstick came whipping by her head. Luckily she moved out of the way fast enough or it would have hit her. It took her a few moments for what happened to register and when it did, her eyes became wide from shock.

"I said get out!"

"Not until you calm down and we talk about this," Kate steadily spoke, her hands raised at Rory to illustrate surrender. As much as she would love to grab her daughter and drag her home, she had a feeling it wouldn't be a good idea.

Rory opened her mouth to say something, but she noticed Castle and her boyfriend standing near the doorway. An immoral grin tugged at the corners of her lips, which made her mom spin around to see what she was looking at.

"Castle, go home," Kate kindly urged because of the smirk Rory just had.

"No, Castle, come in. Join the fucking party," Rory spoke as she lifted her bottle of liquor in the air. Her mom faced her again and it looked like steam was supposed to be flowing out of her ears.

"Castle, stay where you are," Kate deeply commanded through a clenched jaw.

"Aw, how cute. You're protecting your little boyfriend," Rory mocked before taking a quick swig out of her bottle.

"That's enough out of you," Kate hissed and sharply narrowed her eyes at her daughter.

Rory kicked her stool from behind her and hopped down the small, less than a foot in height, stage. She still had her other drumstick in her hand and she pointed it at her mom.

"What are you goin' to do 'bout it?" Rory slurred with a devious grin. "Arrest me?" She slowly wobbled to the other side of her mom, keeping the distance between them. "Send me away again?"

Kate kept her furious stare locked on her daughter, choosing not to say a word until she was done because every time she spoke up too soon, it made things worse.

"Ground me until next year? Keep me out of your personal life?" Rory pressed the bottom of her palms against the sides of her head. "Make everything worse?" she screamed through her headache.

"Mallorie, you need to calm down," Kate quietly said as she tried to keep her anger about her daughter drinking to a minimum for the time being.

"And then what? Listen to your same old bullshit? 'Oh, it will get better, Rory. I'm here for you, Rory. You can trust me, Rory!' Fuck you!" Rory clenched her jaw and began to breathe heavily while her eyes welled up with furious tears. "Everything you say is a lie!"

"You are blowing this way out of proportion. Just relax and we can talk about this. No lies, no easy way outs."

Kate wasn't prepared for what was going to happen. Within seconds after she said her last word, Rory was charging at her and she ended up pinned against the wall, the drumstick tight against her throat.

"You're a secretive fucking liar!" Rory lowly growled through her teeth as she glared up at her mom. "A whore and a shitty mom!" She let out a deceitful, amused laugh. "How does it feel to not be in control and have the upper hand? Is it fun? Do you _enjoy_ it? Do you think I enjoy it?"

"Rory, stop," Trevor pleaded from behind her, but he knew it had no use.

"Piss off, Trev. This is between me and her," Rory replied while looking her mom up and down. "C'mon, Mom. Hit me! Show me that you're the weak one!"

Rory kept her head toward her mom when she felt a large hand on her shoulder. Her eyes traveled to her side and she knew it was Castle, Trevor was too afraid of her when she got like this to do anything. Without thinking twice about it, she quickly spun around and lifted her arm up to swing at Castle.

But she didn't know her wrist would be snatched by her mom and she would be held against the wall. It all happened too fast for her and being drunk and high didn't help her case too much because everything looked like it was spinning when her back collided with it.

She wasn't ready to give up yet, though. No, she fought against her mom, swinging and kicking, letting every ounce of her anger out. She was pleased when her fist and feet connected with her mom multiple times, but she didn't understand why she wouldn't back off.

"Let go of me!" she shrieked and tried to get away, but her wrists were held together by her stomach.

"That's not happening. You can try to fight me all you want, but it won't have any affect," Kate began to speak into Rory's ear. "You're a tough kid, I know that. You want everything to go according to your plan, I know, but it's not all about you, Mallorie." She took a deep breath in and spoke sincerely. "I'm sorry I kept the date a secret from you. I was trying to figure out how to tell you about it, so something like this wouldn't happen."

"Shut up!" Rory shook her head tremendously fast as she began to slide down the wall, but her mom's grip remained.

"I don't know what ran through your mind when you saw us. I don't know what made you come here and drink and smoke, but I do know one thing. It scared you."

"No!"

"It did. You're scared that you're going to lose me again and not get any attention like before your incident. But you need to understand one thing, Mallorie." Kate bit down on her bottom lip when she noticed her daughter's staggered breaths. "You come first. Over everything else in this world, you come first."

"That's not true," Rory said through her hysterical cries. "That's a lie! Grandma's case always came before me!"

"That's not a lie, Mallorie. You're my world. Grandma's case and my job can go to the back because you're my kid. The only person that I love so much and I would die for without second guessing it."

"You hurt me!"

"I know I did. I can see that, but you don't need to run off and get drunk and high because of it. I'd much rather have you yell at me like you are now without the alcohol and drugs," Kate said as calmly as she could.

"I don't like not knowing things. It hurts."

"I know it does because I've been in your place before. If you want to hate me for a long time, I'm okay with that, but you need to know that I love you, even after you just tried to fight me. Even after finding out that you relapsed with your drinking. I will always love you unconditionally and be there for you, even when you don't want me to."

Rory glared up at her mom. "Let me go."

"Sorry, but the only place you're going is home and you will stay there until school starts in a couple of weeks."

"We're going to start recording in a week!" Rory shouted and began to kick and try to get free again, but it was useless; she wasn't as strong as normal when it came to her mom.

"That sucks, doesn't it? You should have thought about the consequences before you chose to drink and smoke. You're a smart kid and you knew that you wouldn't get away with this," Kate sternly talked while keeping her eyes locked on Rory. "What did you smoke?"

Rory let out a manic laugh and glued her eyes with her mom's. She knew her mom could see the immoral glimmer in them, definitely by the way she just swallowed. Good. She was making her mom nervous and it was going to stay that way.

"You want to know? Go look," she spat with a snarl.

Kate annoyingly rolled her eyes and placed her hands under Rory's armpits to lift her back onto her feet. She slowly moved her hands away to see if Rory could stand on her own, but when she began to topple to the right, she quickly put them back.

"We're going home where you will take a drug test for me and you're sleeping in my room," Kate strictly explained as she helped guide Rory out of the room. She turned her head toward the boys. "Do you guys need a ride home?"

"I'm going to share a cab with Trevor," Castle answered with a half grin. "He didn't bring any money and I don't mind."

"Assholes," Rory deeply laughed and let her vicious glare fall onto Castle. "Horny bastard!"

"Okay, that's enough," Kate yelled, which made Rory spin around to face her and almost fall. She noticed her daughter's mouth open to say something, but then a terrified expression appeared on her face and in her pretty blue eyes. "Rory?"

"I don't feel right," Rory uncertainly mumbled and began to tremble.

Kate harshly swallowed the lump in the back of her throat and bent down, so it would be easier to read her daughter's look.

"What did you take?" she whispered only loud enough for the two of them to hear.

"I don't feel right," Rory repeated and pushed the palms of her hands into her eyes.

"How don't you feel right, Mallorie?"

"They're…" Rory looked toward the ceiling to see colors and stars swirling together. She took a few things when she ran off and called Tony for a delivery.

"I'm asking Tony if he gave her anything," Trevor announced and quickly texted his friend. He got a reply within seconds and he sighed. "He said that she had weed, nothing else that he was aware of. Wait." He received another text and quickly read it. "He said the other guy Rory gets things through gave her shrooms and ice."

"Jesus Christ," Kate spoke through a clenched jaw as she began to panic. "We're going to the hospital. I don't care how much you hate them, but what if you overdosed, Mallorie? How much did you take?" she practically screamed her last question.

The corners of Rory's lips slowly turned up and she let her head straighten to look at her mom. "So very much. I feel fine now. We can go home," she lied.

"I'll see you guys later," Kate speedily said to the boys as she assisted with getting Rory out to the car.

This was not how her night was supposed to go after her date with Castle. She was supposed to be home, in bed, and reading a book in the quiet. Taking Rory to the hospital to make sure she didn't overdose was not a part of her plan.

She managed to get Rory into the passenger side of the car and strap her in, even though she was fought against because of the seat belt. Once Rory relaxed, she used her fingers to turn her head toward her and looked deeply into her eyes.

"You are beyond in trouble, kid," Kate fiercely stated before slamming the door shut.

Her hands angrily moved throughout her hair as she took in a sharp breath. She couldn't believe that she would have to start over with Rory again. She knew that this time around was going to be harder, way harder.

...

_"Am I going insane?  
><em>

_My blood is boiling inside of my veins._

_An evil feeling attacks._

_My body's shaking, there's no turning back."_

Bullet For My Valentine - Your Betrayal

* * *

><p><strong><em>AN: That was ridiculously fun to write, okay.<em>**


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